Stir Fry Pork Steak and Green Beans

So we're still desperately trying to work through last year's produce to make sure we have room for the new stuff from the garden. In this case, we needed to use up some surplus green beans. We had a couple nice pork steaks in the freezer that worked perfectly.  I can't promise you'll have all these ingredients on hand. Black bean garlic paste and hoisin sauce are not something every home keeps in stock. If you don't have those, you can probably get away with teriyaki sauce, or a molasses based barbecue sauce. Or just drown it in Sriracha, which is never wrong. This ended up being a very tasty and fairly quick meal. Over rice, it was filling and a fair substitute for ordering out Chinese food for dinner.  As always, notes are in blue.

Stir Fry Pork Steak and Green Beans

Ingredients

• 3 tablespoons sesame oil (in a pinch, vegetable oil would work, but you'll lose the wonderful flavor you get from the sesame oil)
• 1.5 lbs. pork steak, cut into 1/2" wide strips
• .5 lbs. green beans, cut into 3" pieces
• 1/2 onion, chopped
• 4 cloves garlic, minced
• 1/4 cup soy sauce (we used reduced sodium. Otherwise I blow up like a balloon.)
• 2 tablespoons brown sugar
• 1/4 teaspoon red pepper flakes
• 1 tablespoon black bean garlic paste
• 1 tablespoon hoisin sauce
• 1-1/2 tablespoons corn starch
• 1-1/2 tablespoons cold water
• Cooked white rice, for serving

Directions

1. In a wok (or whatever large pan you have) heat oil over medium heat. 
2. Add garlic and onion. Stir fry for 3-4 minutes or until the onion starts to get tender. Do not let the garlic burn.
3. Add the pork and stir fry for another 5 minutes or so, or until the pork is not longer visibly pink.
4. While the pork is cooking, in a bowl, mix the soy sauce, brown sugar, pepper, black bean paste, and hoisin sauce. 
5. Add the green beans to the wok, along with the sauce mix. Toss to coat evenly. Cover and cook on medium for 5-6 more minutes. There will be a fair amount of liquid in the pan. This is fine.
6. While everything is cooking, in a small cup, mix the corn starch and water. 
7. Take the lid off the wok (I feel I have to emphasize taking the lid off or some smartass will just pour the cornstarch over the lid) and add the corn starch mixture. Stir contents of the pot until sauce thickens. Turn off the heat.
8. Serve over rice. (I imagine this would be good over rice noodles as well. Or even without rice.)

Good times!

Spaghetti with Oil and Bacon Jam

First off, let me say I'm sorry. It's been almost four months since my last post. I know I've managed a YouTube video, some FaceBook content and a couple live streams, but nothing of real value. Granted, you could still make that claim when I posted a lot. Regardless, as I've mentioned before, it seems that parenting takes up quite a bit of time. However, I have had the occasional moment of inspiration. A couple of friends of ours regularly come by for dinner and games. They are the epitome of gracious guests. We have never asked it of them, but they always arrive with some assortment of food related gifts for us. Recently it was a jar of Trader Joe's Uncured Bacon Jam. It is exactly what it sounds like. It is a sweet bacon spread. We've had it on toast and it was pretty good. Desperate to use up some leftover spaghetti, it became a key ingredient in a new and amazing recipe. Mind you, if you don't have access to this jam, I'm not sure what you're going to do. I have no idea how to replicate it. Best of luck. As always, notes are in blue.

Spaghetti with Oil and Bacon Jam
(Recipe makes 2 servings, or one if you're a fat bastard like me)

Ingredients

• 8 ounces spaghetti
• 3 tablespoons butter
• 2 tablespoons olive oil (use as many virgins as you'd like)
• 3 tablespoons bacon jam
• 1-1/2 teaspoons garlic powder
• 1 tablespoon dried, minced onion
• 1/2 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes (add a little more if you'd like a bit more kick)
• 1/3 cup grated Parmesan cheese

Directions

1. Cook pasta until aldente. Set aside to drain.
2. In a large pan, on medium-high head, melt butter and add olive oil. 
3. Add the onion and stir for a minute or two.
4. Add the bacon jam. Stir until jam breaks down into the butter/oil mix.
5. Add the garlic powder and pepper flakes.
6. Add the pasta back to the pan. Toss until the pasta is totally coated with the sauce.
7. Add the cheese and toss again.
8. (If you feel the dish could use some color, feel free to toss in some chopped parsley)

Good times!

Beef and Broccoli in Sweet and Pungent Sauce

     My town has one major flaw. Lots of drunks on lawnmowers. Okay, two major flaws. Drunks on lawn mowers and plastic fires. Okay, three major flaws. Drunks on mowers, plastic fires and no plows in the winter. Okay, four major flaws. Drunks on mowers, plastic fires, no plows and dogs running loose everywhere...
     I guess I'm getting off track here. My town has some serious shortcomings. The one I was trying to get to was the lack of Chinese carryout. I have to drive 30 minutes round trip to pick up carryout from the nearest Chinese restaurant. That's crazy. I have taken it upon myself to learn Chinese cooking so I can just make this stuff at home. This is a recipe for the classic beef and broccoli. The sauce was something I hadn't had before. Sweet and pungent. Not that orange sweet and sour, but something entirely different. It was fantastic. It's a bit labor intensive and bordering on a PITA, but it's totally worth trying.  Unless you live near a Chinese restaurant, in which case pick me up some egg foo young. As always, notes and changes are in blue.

Beef and Broccoli
in Sweet and Pungent Sauce
via The 1000 Recipe Chinese Cookbook

Ingredients

• 1 pound beef stew meat, cut into 1/4" slices
• 1 egg
• 1 clove garlic
• cornstarch
• oil for frying
• 1 pound broccoli florets (preferably fresh, but if you use frozen, defrost and drain first)

For sauce

• 3/4 cup water
• 1/2 cup brown sugar
• 1/2 cup cider vinegar
• 2 tablespoons tomato sauce
• 2 cloves garlic, minced
• 1 teaspoon fish sauce
• 1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
• 1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes
• a few drops of sesame oil
• 1 tablespoon corn starch
• 1 tablespoon soy sauce
• 1/4 cup water

Directions

For beef 

1. Beat egg in a bowl. Add garlic. 
2. Dip beef in egg mixture, dredge in corn starch to coat. 
3. In a pan (I used my cast iron skillet), heat about 1/2" vegetable oil. Add beef slices, a few at a time and fry until golden. Remove to paper towel to drain.

For sauce

1. In a medium saucepan (you'll be using vinegar, so make sure the pan is nonreactive), bring water to a boil. Add sugar and stir. Cook until sugar is dissolved. Add vinegar and cook for a minute or so. Add tomato sauce, garlic, fish sauce, ginger, red pepper flakes and sesame oil. Stir and cook another minute.
2. Blend cornstarch, soy sauce and cold water to a paste. Stir into sauce to thicken. 

For broccoli

1. Steam or boil broccoli to whatever consistency you prefer.

Once the beef, sauce and broccoli are done, toss all together over low heat until sauce covers beef and broccoli evenly. Serve over white rice.

Good times!

Pasta with Cherry Tomato and Red Pepper

     We truly enjoy pasta in our house. There's nothing finer than a finely crafted pasta dish. If that's what you're looking for, you're probably on the wrong website. I can, however, provide you with a tasty and simple pasta recipe. Our garden has been producing tomatoes and peppers like crazy, so we were looking for ways to use them up. A basic, olive oil-based pasta dish seemed just the thing. It totally was. This is a fresh, light recipe that has a bit of a kick from the red pepper flakes. Give it a try and see what you think. Maybe less oil? Maybe add some shrimp? Get creative. As always, notes are in blue.

Pasta with Cherry Tomato and Red Pepper

Ingredients

• 1 pound pasta of your choice (don't pick something goofy like giant shells or lasagna noodles)
• 1/2 cup extra virgin olive oil (insert obvious virgin joke here)
• 2 medium red bell peppers, cored and sliced
• 2 cups cherry tomatoes, cut in half
• 2 cloves garlic, minced
• 1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes
• shredded Parmesan for topping

Directions

1. Cook pasta until al dente. Drain and set aside.
2. In a large saucepan, heat olive oil over medium-high heat. Add the garlic and sautee for a couple of minutes, until garlic starts to brown.
3. Add the bell pepper. Sautee for 2-3 minutes. Add the tomatoes and red pepper flakes. Sautee another 3-5 minutes. 
4. Add the pasta and toss over medium-low heat for 2-3 more minutes to incorporate ingredients. Garnish with Parmesan.

Good times!

Pickled Dilled Beans

     First, let me say that I'm not responsible for naming this recipe. Talk to the author of the cookbook. "Pickled Dilled Beans" sounds cumbersome and kind of dumb. Why not just go with "Dill Pickle Beans?" The other way just sounds tortured. If you want a goofy sounding name, how about "Beans, Dilled and Pickled?" Ok, I'm just babbling now. I'd love to tell you how these taste. I have no idea; we just canned them and put them up on the rack. They look very nice. We did a half batch, which is what you see in the directions. You want more, you need to brush up on your multiplication table. Since this is a canning recipe, I once again beg of you to defer to the fine folks at the National Center for Home Food Preservation for tips on how not to give everyone the squirts. As always, notes and changes are in blue.

Pickled Dilled Beans
via Southern Living Little Jars, Big Flavors

Ingredients

• 1-1/2 pounds fresh green or yellow beans
• 3 cups white vinegar (5% acidity)
• 1/3 cup canning/pickling salt
• 3/4 teaspoon dried crushed red pepper
• 12 fresh dill sprigs (didn't have these in the house. We went with 3 teaspoons dried dill weed)
• 3 garlic cloves, peeled

Directions

1. Sterilize 3 pint jars 
2. Wash beans, trim stem ends and cut into 4-inch lengths (if your beans were less than 4 inches to start, I guess you'll have to tape them together or something). 
3. Combine vinegar, salt, red pepper and 1 cup water in a stainless steel saucepan (don't put in the dill yet! You're doing that next). Bring to a boil. 
4. Place 1 clove of garlic and 2 dill sprigs (or 1 teaspoon dill weed) in each of the hot, sterilized pint jars. Pack whole beans tightly in jars (this is where The Wife's freaky little hands come in "handy." She can really get in there and load in those beans). Cover with hot pickling liquid, leaving 1/2-inch headspace. 
5. Seal and process jars in a boiling water canner for 5 minutes.
6. Remove jars from the water and let stand, undisturbed, at room temperature for 24 hours (We totally disturbed our jars. We stood right there and told them at length about the state of the economy). Eventually, you should hear a telltale "thunk" noise when the lid locks down. If it doesn't, you can either reprocess them or just put them in the fridge after they've cooled and eat them. Sealed and stored properly, they should last up to a year. Refrigerate after opening.

Good times!

Chile Shrimp with Butter Beans and Lemony Couscous

     I'm always a bit leery about picking a recipe based solely on reviews. I've worked in retail long enough to know that people generally only come forward with complaints. That's because most people are fucking morons. This particular recipe came out of a Food & Wine magazine. I checked online and it had a 2-1/2 star review by the public. If Roger Ebert has taught me anything, it is that 2-1/2 stars does not mean it is bad, or even below-average. It means it did what it set out to do, but some people (fucking morons) will not like it. Those are likely the same people who ate paste as children. The Wife and I loved this dish. It had a great combo of flavors. It had heat from the chile, and a salty, lemony bite that appealed to The Wife. As a bonus, this dish comes together in a hurry, so it's great for a weeknight dinner. As always, notes and changes are in blue.

Chile Shrimp with Butter Beans
and Lemony Couscous
via Food & Wine

Ingredients

• 2/3 cup couscous
• 3 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
• 1 pound shelled and deveined medium shrimp (as I never have fresh shrimp in the house, I went with a pound of frozen. I kept the tails to make shrimp stock for later use)
• 1/2 teaspoon crushed red pepper
• 2 tablespoons unsalted butter (that's the same thing as margarine, right? Because that's what I used)
• One 15-ounce can butter beans, rinsed and drained
• 2 tablespoons capers
• 1 1/2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice (fresh from the bottle!)
• 1 tablespoon chopped parsley (we hadn't started growing our own yet, so I used 1 teaspoon of dried)

Directions

1. In a bowl, stir the couscous with 3/4 cup of boiling water (if you want a little more depth, boil the shrimp tails in this water for 10 minutes before you add the couscous. Make sure to remove the tails before adding the couscous, because leaving them in would be dumb) Cover with a lid and steam for 5 minutes. Fluff with a fork.
2. Meanwhile, in a nonstick skillet, heat 2 tablespoons of the oil. Add the shrimp and crushed red pepper and cook over moderately high heat until golden, 2 to 3 minutes; transfer to a plate. Add the butter to the skillet. Add the beans, capers and lemon juice and cook, stirring, for 2 minutes.
3. Fold the bean mixture, parsley and remaining 1 tablespoon of olive oil into the couscous; season with salt and pepper. Serve topped with the shrimp.

Good times, baby!

Meatball Sub Casserole

     Sometimes it's not about how a recipe looks. I know many of the food bloggers out there cringe at my photography. Most people know by now I don't find it that important. I want the food to taste good, not be photogenic. That leads me to this recipe I came up with. If you don't put sauce on the top, it looks like fake vomit. If you put the sauce on top, it looks like fake vomit with red sauce. I'd like it noted I took the high ground here and did not post a picture of fake vomit for comparison. Enough talk about vomit, let us talk of this fine casserole. I attempted to combine the flavors of a meatball sub into a casserole. I think I got pretty close. The combination of beef and red sauce come together well with the herbed stuffing mix. It's not spot on, but very reminiscent of a meatball sub. Granted, this hasn't really been a ringing endorsement. This is a tasty casserole and we wound up gladly eating all of it. As always, notes are in blue.

Meatball Sub Casserole

Ingredients

• 1-1/2 pounds ground beef (I used 80-20%)
• 1 6-ounce box herbed stuffing mix
• 1 can (10.75 ounce) tomato soup (use two cans if you want a more squishy casserole)
• 8 ounces shredded Mozzarella cheese
• 2 red bell peppers, sliced
• 1 medium onion, sliced
• 1 pint red sauce of your choice (I just whipped up a simple one with tomato sauce, garlic, basil and oregano. Use a jar or can of sauce if you're feeling lazy)

Directions

1. Combine ground beef, onions and peppers. Cook in a skillet until beef is browned. Drain grease (Unless you're a huge fan of lots of grease and a super soggy casserole, then by all means, leave it in)
2. In a large bowl, combine meat, onion and peppers with stuffing mix and the tomato soup. Mix thoroughly. Transfer to a 13"x9" baking dish coated with cooking spray. Spread it into an even layer. Pour red sauce over the top. 
3. Bake at 350F for 30 minutes. 

That's not fake vomit, that's Good Times!

UPDATE: Here's the video for this recipe!

Herb Salad with Feta, Roasted Red Peppers and Toasted Nuts

     When it's the holiday season, I tend to eat like I may never get the chance again. I stuff my face to the point of actual physical discomfort. Then I gain 18 pounds in water weight and want to die. I am absolutely not going to to a "detox." I am not going to punish myself with "green smoothies," which sounds like something I get when I have too much dairy. No. I eat a salad or two and all is well. Just make sure it's a salad with something going on. I don't want a bowl of lettuce. This is a great salad. I can't for the life of me remember where I got the recipe. If anybody knows, tell me so I can give credit where credit is due. Anyways, the salad has feta. That's all that really matters here. As always, any notes are in blue.

Herb Salad with Feta, Roasted Red Peppers and Toasted Nuts

Ingredients

• 1 5 oz container herb salad mix (or just use 5 ounces of any greens you like)
• 1 cup coarsely chopped roasted red peppers from jar, dried on paper towel
• ½ cup walnut halves or pecan halves, toasted
• 1 10.5oz jar feta cheese in oil with herbs and spices (I only had a container of plain feta in the fridge. I just added some olive oil and herbs myself)
• 1 tablespoon red wine vinegar

Directions

1. Combine salad mix, peppers and nuts in large bowl 
2. Drain feta, reserving oil and spice mixture, sprinkle feta over salad 
3. Whisk 3 tablespoons reserved oil mixture with red wine vinegar in small bowl 
4. Drizzle dressing over salad and toss to coat 
5. Season with salt and freshly ground black pepper

Good times!

Slow Cooker Parmesan Potato Soup

     The Wife loves her soup. It doesn't matter the weather. It could be 115F outside and she'll ask me to make soup. She'll also be drinking hot coffee, so I may be dealing with some larger defect here. Anyways, she loves soup, so I make soup. This particular recipe came out of Taste of Home Slow Cooker.  This is a great cold weather soup. Big hunks of potato, lots of bacon and a creamy broth. One bowl of this and I'm full. But not for long because I'm also lactose intolerant and this uses a goodly amount of heavy cream. I'll leave you to come up with your own imagery. As always, any notes or changes are in blue.

Slow Cooker Parmesan Potato Soup
via Taste of Home Slow Cooker

Ingredients

• 8 medium potatoes, peeled and cut into 1/2 inch cubes (I actually peeled the potatoes this time!)
• 1 large onion, chopped
• 1 jar (7 ounces) roasted red peppers, drained and chopped (make sure you peel off any skin on the peppers unless you like it floating around in the soup)
• 1 small celery rib, chopped
• 6 cups chicken broth
• 1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
• 1/2 teaspoon seasoned salt
• 1/2 teaspoon pepper
• 1/8 teaspoon rubbed sage
• 1/3 cup all-purpose flour
• 2 cups heavy whipping cream, divided
• 1 cup grated Parmesan cheese, divided
• 8 bacon strips, cooked and crumbled
• 2 tablespoons minced fresh cilantro (we went with a teaspoon of dried)

Directions

1. In a 5 or 6 quart slow cooker, combine the vegetables, broth and seasonings (naturally, I attempted to load it all in a 2.5 quart cooker. It was fine until the part where I had to add more liquid). Cover and cook on LOW for 5-6 hours or until vegetables are tender.
2. In a small bowl, combine flour and 1/2 cup cream until smooth; add to slow cooker. Stir in 3/4 cup cheese, bacon, cilantro and remaining cream. Cover and cook for 30 minutes or until slightly thickened. 
3. Ladle into bowls; sprinkle with remaining cheese (I always love recipes that instruct you to plate your food. You know, in case you were planning on just standing there at the stove shoveling soup into your craw right out of the pot. Maybe you were. I'm not here to judge).

Good times!

Tomato and Roasted Pepper Chutney

     Over the summer, chutneys became one of our go-to ways to process surplus veggies. If you were following us this summer, you'll know we were absolutely laden down with bell peppers and tomatoes. Whenever we have crazy amounts of produce to use, we usually end up consulting Preserve It! This book has a few wonderful chutney recipes. Fair warning, making chutney does qualify as a PITA (Pain In The Ass). It's time consuming and requires a fair amount of attention. The result is totally worth it, though. This stuff is great on crackers with cream cheese or brie. It's also good on bagels. If you do decide to process this for long term storage, I once again recommend consulting the National Center for Home Food Preparation for information on how not to accidentally make someone's anus fall out. As always, notes and changes are in blue.

Tomato and Roasted Pepper Chutney
via Preserve It!

Ingredients

• 1 red bell pepper
• 1 orange bell pepper (no orange peppers on hand. We just used another red pepper)
• 1 yellow bell pepper
• 3 lb. ripe tomatoes, plunged into boiling water for 1 minute and then peeled
• 2 onions, coarsely chopped
• 2-1/4 cups granulated sugar
• 2 cups white wine vinegar

Directions

1. Preheat the oven to 400F. Place the peppers on a baking sheet and cook for about 25-30 minutes, until they begin to char slightly. Remove from the oven, put in a plastic bag and leave to cool.
2. Remove the pepper stems, skins and seeds (we core, stem, seed and slice the peppers before actually cooking them. It just seems more logical. Also, peeling the peppers has never failed to be a total Pain In The Ass). Coarsely chop the tomatoes. Transfer the peeled tomatoes, roasted peppers and onions to a food processor; pulse briefly until chopped but not mushy.
3. Transfer the mixture to a preserving pan (couldn't even tell you what that is)  or a large, heavy-bottomed, stainless steel saucepan (I do have one of those!) with the sugar and vinegar. Cook over low heat, stirring continuously, until the sugar has dissolved. Bring to a boil, then reduce to a simmer and cook for about 1 to 1-1/2 hours, stirring occasionally, until it starts to thicken and turn sticky (try to read that last bit again without snickering). You may need to increase the heat a little toward the end of cooking, but stir continuously so the chutney doesn't stick to the bottom of the pan. 
4. Ladle into warm, sterilized, half-pint jars, leaving about 1/4" head space, and making sure there are no air gaps. Cover and seal with a two part lid. Process in a boiling water bath for 12 minutes (If you want to do pint jars, boil for 15-16 minutes. You can thank me now for changing this step from the cookbook. The book says to process in the water bath, THEN put on the lids. I assure you, that won't work unless you're some sort of sorcerer). Store in a cool, dark place. Allow the flavors to mature for 1 month. Refrigerate after opening.  

Good times!

Turkey, White Bean and Kale Soup

     One of the big problems after Thanksgiving is figuring out what to do with the leftover turkey. There's only so many turkey sandwiches you can eat. One of the first things I do with the turkey is strip all the meat and then boil the carcass. This leaves me with an extremely rich stock for later use. I wound up using it for this recipe. It's sort of a riff on Tuscan White Bean Soup. I was fairly pleased with the outcome. If you like extra heat, it benefits greatly from a shot or two of Frank's hot sauce. Obviously, you could easily substitute chicken and chicken stock if you don't have turkey on hand.

Turkey, White Bean and Kale Soup

Ingredients

• 1 quart turkey stock
• 1-1/2 cup chopped cooked turkey
• 1 can (15.5 ounce) great northern beans, drained and rinsed
• 4 cups kale, spines removed, chopped
• 1 medium red onion, chopped
• 2 stalks celery, chopped
• 1 clove garlic, chopped
• 1 tablespoon fresh basil, chopped
• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• 1/4 teaspoon red pepper flakes
• 1/2 cup heavy cream
• 1 cup orzo
• 1 tablespoon Ukrainian Village seasoning (from the Spice House) 

Directions

1. In a large pot, add stock, turkey, beans and seasoning. Bring to a simmer.
2. Heat oil in a saucepan, add onion, celery, basil and garlic. Sautee 3-5 minutes or until onions are tender. Add kale, sautee 2 more minutes (the color of the kale will brighten during cooking.  When you see that, you know it's ready).

   

   This is what I'm talking about.

3. Add contents of saucepan to soup pot. Add pepper flakes and orzo and bring to low boil for about 5 minutes. Lower to simmer.
4. Stir in cream. Simmer another 2-3 minutes or until orzo is tender.

Good times!

Slow Cooker Thai-Style Peanut Chicken

     I'm on the fence about peanut butter based recipes. I do enjoy a good satay, but too much peanut butter can overwhelm me and make me run for some white bread and grape jelly. This recipe works around that by using an alarming amount of teriyaki sauce and red pepper flakes. This has, as the chefs would say, umami out the asshole. We swapped in chicken for the pork and were very happy with the results. As always, changes and notes are in blue.

Slow Cooker Thai-Style Peanut Chicken
via Taste of Home Slow Cooker

Ingredients

• 2 pounds boneless pork loin chops (we decided to use an equal amount of chicken)
• 1/4 cup teriyaki sauce
• 2 tablespoons rice vinegar
• 1 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes
• 1 teaspoon minced garlic
• 1 tablespoon cornstarch
• 1/4 cup cold water
• 1/4 cup creamy peanut butter
• Hot cooked rice
• 1/2 cup chopped green onions
• 1/2 cup dry roasted peanuts (omitted)
• Lime juice, optional

Directions

1. Place meat in a 3 quart slow cooker (we used a 2.5 quart cooker. NOW WHAT!). In a small bowl, combine the teriyaki sauce, vinegar, pepper flakes and garlic; pour over meat. Cover and cook on LOW for 6 hours or until meat is tender.
2. Remove meat and cut into bite-sized pieces; keep warm (the meat, not you. I suppose you could put on a sweater if you're chilly). Skim fat from cooking juices, transfer juices to a small saucepan. Bring liquid to a boil. 
3. Combine cornstarch and water and stir until smooth. Gradually stir into the pan. Bring to a boil; cook and stir for 2 minutes or until thickened. Stir in peanut butter and meat. 
4. Serve with rice. Sprinkle with onions and peanuts (if you really want them). Drizzle with lime juice if desired.

Tie Peanuts...Get it?
Good times!

Corn Relish

     I've loved corn relish ever since I was little. It was on a salad bar in a rib joint. It was thick, almost like a chutney. This recipe is not. I guess I wasted your time with that little bit of nostalgia. This version is not thick, probably due to the fact that it doesn't use a ton of sugar or cook for very long. I suppose if you let it cook for a lot longer. It is, however, delicious. It is just the right combination of sweet and tangy. Plus it looks great. You can toy with the ingredients, shifting different kinds of peppers in and out. The last batch we made added a couple of chopped jalapenos. Fair warning, this stuff stains the crap out of anything it touches. If you're a sloppy eater, I hope you're a fan of little yellow spots on your clothes.

Corn Relish

Ingredients

• 2 quarts sweet corn kernels 
• 4 cups chopped cabbage 
• 1 cup chopped onion 
• 1 cup chopped green bell pepper (sometimes we'll use yellow pepper in place of green)
• 1 cup chopped red bell pepper 
• 1 cup white sugar 
• 2 tablespoons ground dry mustard 
• 1 tablespoon celery seed 
• 1 tablespoon mustard seed 
• 1 tablespoon salt 
• 1 tablespoon ground turmeric 
• 1 quart apple cider vinegar 
• 1 cup water

Directions

1. In a large saucepan, mix corn, cabbage, onion, green bell pepper, red bell pepper, white sugar, ground dry mustard, celery seed, mustard seed, salt, turmeric, apple cider vinegar and water. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer 20 minutes. 
2. Transfer the mixture to sterile containers. Seal and process in boiling water bath. Process 25 minutes for quart jars. As always, refer to the National Center for Home Food Preservation for tips on how to not accidentally poison yourself or loved ones.

Good times!

Sweet Potatoes, Peppers, Onions and Sausage

     Every now and then the inspiration for a recipe comes from a single ingredient. That's what happened here. I had bought some Maple Honey Brats from Toohill Beef and they had been sitting in my freezer for a while. I didn't just want to grill them and call it a day. Toohill's stuff deserves a little more effort than that. It seemed a skillet was in order. I decided to go with the theme of the sweetness of the brats and go sweet for the overall theme. It came out wonderfully. The sweetness of the ingredients played well with the savory undertones of the brats. Basically, it tasted really good.

Sweet Potato, Pepper, Onion and Sausage

Ingredients

• 4 sweet potatoes, peeled
• 1 large, sweet onion, cut into 1" pieces
• 2 sweet red bell peppers, cut into 1" pieces
• 1lb. Toohill Maple Honey Brats (obviously, if you're not in Illinois, these may be a bit harder to get. In a pinch, you can substitute sweet Italian sausage)
• 1 teaspoon sage
• 2 tablespoons olive oil

Directions

1. Cook the bratwurst however you want. Seriously, It doesn't really matter. Just don't boil them. That would be horrifying. (It was raining like crazy the day I made this, so I couldn't grill them. I wound up cooking them on a grill pan on the stove) Cut into about 1" pieces.
2. Parboil the potatoes. (time parboiling may vary. It took me about 10-12 minutes after dropping the potatoes into boiling water)
3. While the potatoes are parboiling, heat the oil in a skillet and all the peppers and onions. Saute for about 5-7 minutes on medium-high heat.
4. When the potatoes are done parboiling, remove them from the water and cut them up into 1-2" inch pieces. Toss them into the skillet and cook an additional 2-4 minutes depending on how big your potato pieces are. They should be approaching fork tender at this point. 
5. Add the cut up sausages. Cook another 2 minutes. Add sage and toss to coat evenly. (Cooking times are going to vary. What you're looking for is fork tender potatoes, and peppers and onions with a little bit of crunch. Obviously, the brats should be cooked well enough that you don't poison anyone. That's always critical. Good luck.)

Good times!

Griddled Chicken with Chorizo and Butter Bean Mash via Channel 4

     I think part of the reason I like cooking so much is that I don't really know what I'm doing. Having no actual training, I have no idea if I'm doing something wrong. Unless the food comes out totally inedible I'm calling it a victory. This sort of became my attitude towards cooking. "Close enough is good enough" became my motto. It's served me well so far.
     A prime example is this recipe I pulled off Channel 4 when I was just starting more serious cooking. I misidentified ingredients, I left stuff out. Changes were made. The results were indisputably delicious. It doesn't have to be right to be good. So here is one of my first real attempts at cooking. As always, changes and notes are in blue.

Griddled Chicken with Chorizo and Butter Bean Mash
via Channel 4

Ingredients

(The original recipe is only intended to serve one. Double all ingredients if you're serving for two. The butter beans should be fine for two people without doubling)

• 1 boneless, skinless chicken breast (preferably free-range or organic) (I used two. They were not free-range or organic. I guess technically frozen chicken breasts from Aldi count as "organic" inasmuch as they are not "synthetic.")
• Fine sea salt and freshly ground black pepper 
• 1 tbsp olive oil
• 2 ounces chorizo (Spanish sausage), sliced (So I grabbed out a tube of Mexican chorizo. This is when I learned that Spanish chorizo and Mexican chorizo were not at all the same thing.)
• ½ small red onion, peeled and sliced (I used yellow)
• ½ small red pepper, deseeded and sliced (pretty sure I used red peppers from a jar)
• ½ small yellow pepper, deseeded and sliced (Yellow peppers were nutty expensive. I used green.)
• ½ garlic clove, peeled and finely chopped (I used a whole clove.)
• ½ small red chilli, finely chopped (I used 1/2 teaspoon of red chili flakes)
• 1 tsp sherry vinegar (At the time I figured red wine vinegar was close enough)
• 3-4 fresh basil leaves, roughly shredded (Not something I had in the house. I went with 1/2 teaspoon dried basil.)

For the Butter Beans

• 14.5 ounce can butter beans, drained and rinsed in a sieve (I actually had a can of these lurking in the back of the cabinet!)
• ½ small garlic clove, peeled and finely chopped (I don't understand this "half a small garlic clove" nonsense. That's just weak. You can't live in fear. I used a whole clove).
• 2 tbsp olive oil

Directions

1. Heat a griddle pan (I used a nonstick fry pan. I had no idea what a griddle pan was at the time) on the hob (Hob? What the hell is a hob? Hobgoblin? Hobnails? I'm hoping they mean the stove, because there's not really anywhere else in the house to heat a pan). Carefully cut the chicken horizontally almost all the way through the middle and open out (butterflying was not in my skill set at the time. The chicken was getting cooked as is.) Season with salt and pepper.
2. Drizzle the chicken with half the oil and add to the pan. Fry for 4-5 minutes then turn over and cook on the other side for about 3 minutes more until the chicken is cooked through.
3. Add the remaining oil to a frying pan and cook the chorizo, onion and peppers for 5 minutes, stirring regularly. Add the garlic and chilli for the last minute of cooking time.
4. Tip the butter beans into a saucepan with the garlic and add 5 tbsp of water. Bring to the boil and cook for 2-3 minutes until then beans are hot, stirring occasionally. Remove from the heat, add the olive oil and blend with a stick blender until smooth. Season to taste.
5. Pour the vinegar into the pan with the chorizo and vegetables. Simmer for a few seconds. Stir in the basil and season.
6. Spoon the butter bean mash onto a plate and top with the chorizo sauce and chicken. Serve.

Good times!

Monday Recipe: Shrimp Scampi

     I've been banging on about the Betty Crocker 300 Calorie Cookbook for a good reason. Unfortunately, that reason is not a fat sponsorship deal. It is because the recipes are generally quick, easy and never more than 300 calories. I'm going to hit you with another one I was extremely pleased with. As I've been doing of late, any changes to the recipe will be shown in blue.

Shrimp Scampi

Ingredients

• 3/4 lb. deveined and peeled shrimp, thawed if frozen
• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• 1 medium green onion, thinly sliced
• 1 clove garlic, finely chopped
• 2t chopped fresh or 1/2t dried basil
• 2t chopped fresh or 1/4t dried parsley
• 1T fresh lemon juice (I used bottled)
• 1/8t salt (omitted)
• 2T shredded Parmesan cheese
• 1/4t red pepper flakes
• 1 cup cooked white rice

Directions

1. Rinse shrimp in cold water and pat dry on paper towel. If the shrimp has a tail, remove if desired (we removed the tails to save for shrimp stock).
2. In a skillet, heat oil over medium heat, 1-2 minutes. Add remaining ingredients except Parmesan cheese. Cook 2-3 minute, stirring frequently, until shrimp are pink. Do not overcook the shrimp or they will become tough. Sprinkle with cheese. (I continued to cook another minute or so after adding the cheese. It resulted in a slightly thicker sauce.)
3. Serve over rice

Serves two. 240 calories per serving (340 with 1/2 cup rice)

Good times!