Slow Cooker Ham, Broccoli, and Cheese Soup

 I was just thinking to myself that the world can't possibly have enough slow cooker ham and potato soup recipes. This was a grave injustice that deserved remedy. That, and I had a bag of potatoes that was about to turn into compost if I didn't use them soon. This is about as utilitarian a soup as you'll ever find. There are no real surprises or innovations here, other than maybe the use of American cheese slices. This is just solid winter fare. This will fill you up and keep you warm. This is not the soup you need right now. It is the soup you deserve. I think that might have been from Batman. I don't know, it's been a long week. Anyways, it's easy to make and it's good. It's also flexible. Leave out the ham, add sausage. Go vegetarian and leave out the meet but add some carrots. Go wild. As always, notes are in blue.

Slow Cooker Ham, Broccoli, and Cheese Soup

Ingredients

• 8 cups cubed (about 1/4") potatoes (peel them if you want, we never bother)
• 1 cup sweet onion, finely chopped
• 1 lb. frozen broccoli
• 4 ounces cream cheese (we use neufchatel)
• 1 lb. ground ham (this may be a problem to find. We use ground ham from Toohill Seed & Beef Service. If you can't find it or are unable to order it, substitute an equivalent weight of ham you chop up yourself.)
• 8 slices American cheese (if this seems horrifying, just substitute 8 ounces of shredded cheddar or Velveeta)
• 3 cups water or chicken stock
• 1 cup milk
• 1 tablespoon Gateway to the North seasoning from the Spice House. (if you can't/won't get this spice blend, you can make do with whatever spices you enjoy)

Directions

1. In a large (5-6 quart) slow cooker, add the potatoes, then layer the cheeses over the potatoes. 
2. Add all other ingredients over the cheese.
3. Cook on LOW for 7 hours, stirring every couple hours.

Good Times!

Slow Cooker Cheesy Ham and Potato Soup by The Wife

(Note: The Wife sent me this write-up in the first week of January. A combination of busyness, laziness, and mortifying illness caused me to totally forget about posting this. I do apologize, but most of your know by now that regular posting is not something that occurs around here. Unless you sponsor me or something. Without further ado, we return you to my Wife's wonderful recipe!)

The Husband was under the weather all Christmas Break.  When he took his second trip to prompt care in as many weeks, I decided to throw together a slow cooker soup.  We had a Honeybaked Ham and a number of bags of frozen potatoes, so a cheesy ham and potato soup seemed the best option.  Unfortunately, we only had half a block of cheddar cheese and most recipes called for at least 8 ounces.  Some also called for Velveeta.  We didn’t have any of that.  We did, however, have 5 cans of condensed cheddar cheese soup, so I decided to improvise.

Slow Cooker Cheesy Ham & Potato Soup
(from The Wife)

Ingredients:

• 2 lb. bag of diced potatoes
• 2 cups of diced ham
• 1 cup of frozen broccoli
• 1 cup of frozen cauliflower
• 2 cans (10.5 oz) of condensed cheddar cheese soup
• 1 can of water
• 1 Tbsp minced onion

Directions:
1.  Combine all ingredients in a 5-6 quart slow cooker and stir.
2.  Cover and cook on low for 6-7 hours.
3.  Stir soup.  Mine was good and thick, but if you’d like it thicker, stir in 4 ounces of cream cheese.
4.  We just wanted a hearty soup, so we weren’t too concerned with presentation.  If you are, throw some sliced green onion and grated cheddar over the top.

Good Times!

Crispy Orange Beef and Broccoli

Summer is finally here and that means I actually have some time to devote to my food pages. I decided to start off the season with something that captures summer. It has fruit and heat. It is also my third iteration of this type of recipe. The spicy orange theme of quasi-Chinese food is always a favorite in my house. This particular recipe is a cut down version of my Too Damned Easy Spicy Orange Chicken and Broccoli.  This version is actually a bit simpler.  As always, notes are in blue.

Crispy Orange Beef and Broccoli

Ingredients

• 1 pound beef stew meat, sliced thin (leave the meat a bit frozen when slicing to make things easier for you)
•  4 tablespoons vegetable oil
• Corn starch
• 1/2 pound frozen broccoli, thawed (fresh will work, too. You'll just need to chop it up into smaller pieces)
• 2 tablespoons soy sauce
• 1 cup orange marmalade
• 2 teaspoons Sriracha hot sauce (use less if you're a big baby, or more if you're a sexual powerhouse, just like me)
• 4 green onions, sliced diagonally , for garnish

Directions

1. In a large wok (or pan or whatever), heat the oil over medium high heat.
2. In a large bowl, pour in some corn starch. Dredge the beef in the corn starch so all the pieces are evenly coated.
3. Once the oil is hot, working in batches, fry the beef until crispy, about 3-5 minutes per batch. Remove each batch to a paper towel to drain excess oil.
4. When the beef is done, turn down the heat to medium and add the soy sauce. 
5. When the soy sauce begins to bubble, add the marmalade and Sriracha. Stir constantly until the sauce is completely mixed. Let it simmer for about 3 minutes.
6. Add the beef back to the pan and stir to coat.
7. Add the broccoli and stir to coat. Cook for another 4-5 minutes or until the broccoli is the consistency you like.
8. Serve over rice and garnish with the green onion.

Bonus: What booze to have with this

• The Wife recommends Redd's Cranberry Ale
• I suggest a Chardonnay in the $3-5 range. 

Good Times!

Too Damned Easy Spicy Orange Chicken and Broccoli

     If I ever made a list of all-time favorite fast-food/carry-out dishes, Panda Express's Orange Chicken would have to be on it. It is so wrong, but so damned right. This recipe is nothing like it, apart from being called "orange chicken." Sorry. The only reason I even made this was because we couldn't figure out what to make for dinner. The Wife wanted pasta, and I just wasn't feeling pasta. Then I remembered a jar of orange marmalade lurking on the top shelf of a cabinet. I had long threatened to use it on something other than toast. Thus, this recipe was born. Possibly the goofiest thing I used in this recipe was Sunny Delight for the sauce. However, it gives you an orange citrus flavor punch that can't be denied. Feel free to use orange juice instead. You could probably even omit the sauce entirely and it would still be fine. I tried it with and without the sauce and enjoyed it both ways. Flavor-wise, I was very pleased with the result. Sweet orange flavor with a nice bit of heat. As always, notes are in blue.

Too Damned Easy
Spicy Orange Chicken
and Broccoli

Ingredients

• 1-1/2 pounds breaded chicken tenders (our local market sells bulk bags of breaded chicken tenders like you get in the cups at Wal-Mart or Casey's gas stations. Sort of like popcorn chicken style.  For a buck or so a pound, they're great. If you can't find them, find something similar. Hell, even Tyson nuggets would work.
• 3/4 cup orange marmalade
• 1 tablespoon Sriracha hot sauce
• 1 pound frozen broccoli

for sauce:

• 1/2 cup Sunny Delight (give or take, depending on how thick you'll want the sauce. Also, feel free to use orange juice if you don't like Sunny D. I thought it added a nice flavor)
• 2 tablespoons corn starch
• 1 teaspoon garlic powder
• 1/4 teaspoon black pepper
• 2 teaspoons Sriracha hot sauce
• 1/2 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes

Directions

1. Cook chicken according to directions
2. Cook broccoli however you prefer (steaming, microwave, whatever. We just boiled ours for a few minutes)
3. While steps 1 and 2 are going, in a small saucepan, combine all the ingredients for the sauce (if you want it thinner, add a little more liquid.) Cook over medium heat, whisking constantly, until the sauce is your desired consistency (I went for that slightly thick and sticky sauce like you get at Panda Express).
4. Toss hot chicken and broccoli in a large bowl with the marmalade and Sriracha.
5. Add the sauce to the chicken mix and toss again.
6. Serve over white rice.

Good Times!

Stir-Fried Beef With Green Onion and Broccoli

     Stir-fry has to be one of my favorite methods of cooking. It's generally fast and easy. You really have to totally walk away from the pan for an extended period of time to mess it up. This particular recipe came about as many of my recipes do: a way to use up produce before it goes off. We had a few gigantic scallions the Mother-In-Law gave us and some broccoli not long for this world. Fortunately, I've taken to keeping at least a pound of stew beef in the freezer, so it worked out great. The flavor was mellow and satisfying. You may notice I let "fast and easy" and "mellow and satisfying" without making any sort of obvious snide "like I like my women" comment. That's because I like my women like I like my coffee. Bitter. And with a cheese Danish. As always, notes are in blue.

Stir-Fried Beef with
Scallions and Broccoli

Ingredients

• 1 pound beef stew meat
• 4 scallions, cut into 1/4" pieces (you can use some of the green part if you like. We do.)
• 2 cups fresh broccoli, cut into smallish pieces (frozen will work in a pinch. Just defrost it first)
• 1 clove garlic, minced
• 2 tablespoons soy sauce (we use low sodium)
• 2 tablespoons red wine vinegar
• 2 tablespoons vegetable oil
• 2 teaspoons Sriracha (optional. I mean, if you hate flavor and happiness, you can certainly leave it out. To each their own.)
• sesame oil

Directions

1. Cut each piece of stew meat into one or two smaller pieces. 
2. In a bowl, add meat, scallions, broccoli, soy sauce and vinegar. Toss to coat. Let marinate for about 30 minutes. Toss occasionally to make sure everything is coated.
3. Heat oil in a large pan (a wok would be perfect here if you have one. If you don't, maybe you could run out and buy one! Be adventurous! Take a wok on the wild side! Sorry.) Add garlic and cook for less than a minute. Add beef and veggies and stir-fry 7-10 minutes or until the meat is done and the veggies still have a little bit of snap. Add a few drops of sesame oil toward the end of the cooking.
4. Serve over white rice or noodles.

Good Times!

Beef and Broccoli in Sweet and Pungent Sauce

     My town has one major flaw. Lots of drunks on lawnmowers. Okay, two major flaws. Drunks on lawn mowers and plastic fires. Okay, three major flaws. Drunks on mowers, plastic fires and no plows in the winter. Okay, four major flaws. Drunks on mowers, plastic fires, no plows and dogs running loose everywhere...
     I guess I'm getting off track here. My town has some serious shortcomings. The one I was trying to get to was the lack of Chinese carryout. I have to drive 30 minutes round trip to pick up carryout from the nearest Chinese restaurant. That's crazy. I have taken it upon myself to learn Chinese cooking so I can just make this stuff at home. This is a recipe for the classic beef and broccoli. The sauce was something I hadn't had before. Sweet and pungent. Not that orange sweet and sour, but something entirely different. It was fantastic. It's a bit labor intensive and bordering on a PITA, but it's totally worth trying.  Unless you live near a Chinese restaurant, in which case pick me up some egg foo young. As always, notes and changes are in blue.

Beef and Broccoli
in Sweet and Pungent Sauce
via The 1000 Recipe Chinese Cookbook

Ingredients

• 1 pound beef stew meat, cut into 1/4" slices
• 1 egg
• 1 clove garlic
• cornstarch
• oil for frying
• 1 pound broccoli florets (preferably fresh, but if you use frozen, defrost and drain first)

For sauce

• 3/4 cup water
• 1/2 cup brown sugar
• 1/2 cup cider vinegar
• 2 tablespoons tomato sauce
• 2 cloves garlic, minced
• 1 teaspoon fish sauce
• 1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
• 1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes
• a few drops of sesame oil
• 1 tablespoon corn starch
• 1 tablespoon soy sauce
• 1/4 cup water

Directions

For beef 

1. Beat egg in a bowl. Add garlic. 
2. Dip beef in egg mixture, dredge in corn starch to coat. 
3. In a pan (I used my cast iron skillet), heat about 1/2" vegetable oil. Add beef slices, a few at a time and fry until golden. Remove to paper towel to drain.

For sauce

1. In a medium saucepan (you'll be using vinegar, so make sure the pan is nonreactive), bring water to a boil. Add sugar and stir. Cook until sugar is dissolved. Add vinegar and cook for a minute or so. Add tomato sauce, garlic, fish sauce, ginger, red pepper flakes and sesame oil. Stir and cook another minute.
2. Blend cornstarch, soy sauce and cold water to a paste. Stir into sauce to thicken. 

For broccoli

1. Steam or boil broccoli to whatever consistency you prefer.

Once the beef, sauce and broccoli are done, toss all together over low heat until sauce covers beef and broccoli evenly. Serve over white rice.

Good times!

Curry Orange Chicken

     This here is a bit of a conundrum. I made this recipe a few weeks back. I started to write it up and never finishes. Now, for the life of me, I can't remember where I got the original recipe from! If anybody recognizes the original, please let me know and I will certainly give credit where credit is due. As for the actual recipe, I recall enjoying this immensely. Give it a try and see what you think. It's no Panda Express, but  I think you'll enjoy it. As always, notes and changes are in blue.

Orange Curry Chicken

Ingredients

• 1 tablespoon ground coriander (omitted)
• 1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper (omitted)
• 2 tablespoons Hot Yellow Curry Powder from The Spice House
• 4 boneless chicken breasts, about 6 ounces each
• 2 tablespoons vegetable oil
• 2 navel oranges
• 2" piece of fresh ginger, peeled and grated
• 3 large garlic cloves, chopped
• 1/4-1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes (I was a little heavy-handed here and used about 3/4 teaspoon)
• 2 teaspoons sweet curry powder
• 1-1/2 cups chicken stock
• 3 tablespoons tamari (we substituted reduced sodium soy sauce since I didn't fancy blowing up like a water balloon)
• 3 scallions, thinly sliced
• 1 teaspoon toasted sesame oil
• 2 tablespoons toasted sesame seeds (easy trick. Put them on a plate and microwave for a minute. Then give them 30 second bursts until toasty. If they catch fire, you left them in too long)
• Slurry of 2 tablespoons corn starch and 2 tablespoons cold water
• Bag of frozen broccoli, defrosted

Directions

1. In a bowl, combine the coriander, cayenne, and some salt and pepper (I used the hot curry powder since it contains all of those as well as turmeric, coriander, ginger, white and black pepper, cinnamon, fenugreek, fennel, nutmeg, arrowroot and cloves!) Season the chicken with the mixture.  Preheat a large skillet over medium high heat with the vegetable oil. Add the chicken and cook it on each side for 5 to 6 minutes, or until cooked through (I decided to cube the chicken before I cooked it. I wanted more of a take-out feel that I wouldn't have gotten with whole breasts)
2. While the chicken is cooking, zest the oranges and reserve the zest. Remove the peel and pith with a paring knife. Slice each orange into 1/4 inch thick discs and reserve (I just cut the orange sections into about 1/4 inch chunks.
3. Remove the chicken from the skillet to a plate. Return the skillet to medium-high heat and add the ginger garlic and red pepper flakes. Cook, stirring constantly for 1-2 minutes, then add the chicken stock and tamari (or low-sodium soy)  and turn the heat to high. Cook until the liquid reduces by half. Add the reserved orange zest, orange pieces and scallions. Continue to cook for 1 minute to heat the orange and scallions (in a fit of laziness, I threw all everything from this step as well as the defrosted broccoli in right off the bat. I wasn't excited about big hunks of orange and wanted them to break down in cooking). 
4. Add the sesame oil and sesame seeds.
5. If you're doing it as originally intended, serve whole chicken breasts over spicy noodles and top with sauce.
   If you're doing it my way: add the chicken and corn starch slurry and stir to fully mix. Turn the heat down and simmer until sauce thickens. Serve over rice.

Good times!

Farfalle with Broccoli, Anchovy and Cream

     It's been a while since I've done anything of value in the kitchen. Apparently getting ready for a baby is somewhat time consuming. I guess this is just a taste of things to come! I figure I should probably try out some quick and easy recipes to make sure The Wife is fed, as she is the feeding station for The Spud. Naturally, I turn to pasta for a quick and easy dish. The Wife loves pasta, and if Mama ain't happy, nobody's happy. I found this little gem in The Geometry of Pasta. You can never go wrong with a cookbook for nerds. This recipe made a very subtle, savory pasta with just a kick of heat. This could certainly be the base for adding shrimp or chicken. I call it a winner and will enter it into our regular rotation! As always, notes and changes are in blue.

Farfalle con Broccoli E Alici
(Pasta with broccoli, anchovy and cream)
via The Geometry of Pasta

Ingredients

• 1/3 pound farfalle (we went with 1/2 pound and there was still plenty of sauce coverage)
• 1 head broccoli (3/4 pound), cut into florets
• 2 garlic cloves, thinly sliced (in retrospect, a third clove would have been great)
• 3 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil (insert favorite virgin joke here)
• 3/8 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes (3/8? Who measures like that? We used 1/2 tsp)
• 3-4 salted anchovy fillets, chopped (I used 4 anchovy fillets in olive oil, straight from the tin)
• 1/4 cup heavy cream (our heavy cream had turned into a large cheese curd. We used half & half instead with no harm done)
• Generous 1/2 cup grated Parmesan
• Black pepper

Directions

1. Cook farfalle and broccoli together in plenty of well-salted water. 
2. In a pan, fry the garlic in oil until starting to color. Turn off the heat and add the red pepper flakes. When no longer sizzling, add the anchovies and crush with a wooden spoon to dissolve into oil (I never thought anchovies could dissolve, but sure enough, they do. SORCERY)
3. When the pasta is almost ready, add the cream to the garlic mixture and return to the heat. Drain the pasta (pasta should be very al dente and the broccoli soft), and add it to the sauce. 
4. Cook together until the sauce coats thickly, adding the Parmesan and black pepper to taste at the end.

Good times!

Shells with Broccoli and Anchovy

     It's always a good idea to have some truly speedy recipes in your repertoire. A home-cooked meal is a wonderful thing to carry you through to the weekend. Usually when we get home from work we're not in the mood to cook. We normally reheat something we prepared with a slow cooker on Sunday. This is a fantastic and simple recipe. It also has anchovies, which I love. If you're squeamish about anchovies, get over that sort of shit. You're not six. Unless you're allergic, give it a try. If you are allergic, try it anyway, but add an Epipen to the silverware layout. As always, notes and changes are in blue. 

Shells with Broccoli and Anchovy
via The Essential Pasta Cookbook

Ingredients

• 1 lb. medium shell pasta
• 14 ounces broccoli (we used a 10 ounce bag of frozen broccoli and it was plenty)
• 1 tablespoon oil (I used the oil from the can of anchovies we opened)
• 1 onion, chopped (I used a Vidalia, figuring the sweetness would go well in here)
• 1 clove garlic, crushed
• 3 anchovy fillets, chopped (in retrospect, we probably could have easily doubled the amount of anchovies. The Wife even said it could have used a bit more anchovy, which is impressive considering she's not a big fan of the little fishies!)
• 1-1/4 cups cream
• 1/2 cup freshly grated Parmesan, for serving (we added it directly to the pasta instead of over the top)

Directions

1. Cook the pasta in salted water until al dente (I went to school with Al Dente. Nice guy). Drain and return to the pan.
2. While the pasta is cooking, cut the broccoli into florets and cook in a pan of boiling water for 1 minute. Drain, plunge in cold water and drain again. Set aside. Alternately, if you're lazy like us, just microwave a steamer bag of broccoli and be done with it. This frees up valuable time for wine drinking.
3. Heat the oil in a pan. Add the onion, garlic and anchovies and cook over low heat, stirring for 3 minutes (I changed this up a bit because The Wife prefers her onions with no snap. I wound up sauteeing for closer to 7-8 minutes to make sure the onions were the right consistency)
4. Add the cream to the pan, stirring constantly; bring to the boil. Reduce to a simmer and simmer for about 2 minutes. Add the broccoli and cook for another minute. Salt and pepper to taste, if desired. Add the sauce to the pasta and toss to combine. Sprinkle with Parmesan and serve (we opted to toss the cheese with the pasta)

Good times!

Chicken and Broccoli with Lemon Vinaigrette

The Wife really likes lemon. I mean really, really likes lemon. She also really likes broccoli. And pasta. She also likes reading Jane Austen books, so I guess nobody's perfect. I'm not sure where I'm going with this.  Anyway, we had a pound of broccoli and a bag of lemons that weren't going to survive much longer so I went to work making a new recipe. I figured I would go with the whole salty/tart vibe. The result was a very tasty pasta dish. Though I served it hot, I imagine this would be a pretty good cold pasta dish for summer. Give it a try! Tell me what you think. As long as it's positive feedback. I figure as long as nobody is paying me to do this, I don't have to listen to any negativity. As always, notes are in blue.

Chicken and Broccoli
with Lemon Vinaigrette

Ingredients

• 1/2 cup olive oil (use as many virgins as you like)
• 1 teaspoon balsamic vinegar
• 1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
• juice of 4 medium lemons
• 1/2 teaspoon dried basil
• 2 small crowns broccoli (about 1 pound)
• 1-1/2 pound chicken (I used breast meat. There's no reason you can't use thighs if you prefer)
• 3 cloves garlic, minced
• 1 teaspoon capers, drained
• 1/4 cup grated Parmesan
• 1 pound rotini pasta
• 1/4 cup shredded Parmesan (for garnish)

Directions

1. Combine first 5 ingredients in a bowl. Whisk to incorporate.
2. In a large pan, heat 1/4 cup of the vinaigrette. Add garlic and capers. Cook for about 3 minutes. Add the chicken. Cook until chicken is cooked through and juices run clear. 
3. Drain the liquid from the chicken and cook another minute or two until the chicken starts to get a bit of brown.
4. Cook the broccoli however you prefer (Some like to steam it. We prefer to give it a quick boil. Use a microwave bag of frozen if you want. I won't tell anyone.)
5. Cook the pasta until al dente (I went to school with him. Nice guy). Drain the pasta and return it to the pot you cooked it in (If you didn't cook the pasta in a pot, I guess you're screwed. Just throw everything out and order a pizza)
6. Now that you have a pot full of drained pasta, add the chicken, broccoli, a generous 1/2 cup of the vinaigrette (you'll have some extra vinaigrette. That's fine. You can use more on the pasta if you'd like or maybe use it as a salad dressing), then add the 1/2 cup grated Parmesan. Give it all a stir until the cheese incorporates. The pot should still be hot enough to melt the cheese.
7. Garnish with the shredded Parmesan when serving.

Good times!

Lemon-Chile Seafood Delight

     Some days I really want something light, but full of flavor. I also want it quickly and with minimal effort. This recipe is the culmination of those desires. It came together in about a half an hour. Aside from the rice I served it on, this dish is phenomenally low on calories. The lemon and sriracha gave this dish a nice kick. The Wife certainly enjoyed it, so I'll call it a winner. When naming it, I decided to go with one of those goofy sounding names you find in Chinese restaurants. I thought "Monkeys Chasing the Heaven's Gate on Fire" was good, but it sounded too much like something you'd buy at a fireworks stand. Anyway, give it a try if you want. Hopefully you will like it as much as we did. As always, notes are in blue.

Lemon-Chile Seafood Delight

Ingredients

• 12 ounces shrimp, tails removed (I used frozen shrimp, since fresh is prohibitively expensive right now. If you use fresh, make sure to cook them until they are pink. Also, save the tails to use later to make shrimp stock!)
• 1 pound imitation crab meat ("Crabuluxe," as we call it. Feel free to use real crab meat if you want. Make sure to have the butler get the Ferrari waxed while he's out picking it up.)
• 2 tablespoons vegetable oil
• 1 pound fresh broccoli 
• 1 can (14 ounce) stir-fry vegetables, drained
• 3 cloves garlic, finely chopped
• 1" piece of fresh ginger, peeled and grated
• 1 tablespoon Sriracha (we used our own home-made Sriracha)
• 1 teaspoon fish sauce (use Worcestershire sauce if you don't have fish sauce. Use soy sauce if you don't have either of those. If you have none, just stop and go out for a pizza.)
• Slurry of 2 tablespoons corn starch mixed with 2 tablespoons cold water

Directions

1. Steam broccoli until it starts to get tender. You still want a little snap on it. 
2. Heat oil in a large pan to medium-high heat. Add garlic and ginger, stir for a minute or two or until garlic begins to turn golden. 
3. Add the stir-fry veggies and sriracha. Stir and let cook for another 3-4 minutes.
4. Add the lemon juice, fish sauce and seafood. Stir to mix and let cook for 2-3 more minutes (longer if you are using fresh seafood)
5. Add broccoli and slurry. Remove from heat and stir until sauce thickens. Serve over rice. Thank me at your convenience. 

Good times!

Slow-Cooker Cream Cheese Chicken with Broccoli

     I'm glad The Wife is working more in the kitchen. Don't freak out; I'm not making any gender specific claims here. The Wife doesn't work much in the kitchen because that's my job. It's also because she didn't have a tremendous amount of confidence in her cooking. Lately she's been poking through recipes and messing around with the ingredients. Nothing ground-breaking, but she consistently achieves success. Her latest success was a slow cooker recipe she found in one of our many slow cooker recipe books. I was extremely pleased with how this turned out. It had great flavor and was great over pasta, rice or bread. My only complaint was that it was pretty salty, but that was down to the Italian salad dressing mix. She even used almost half of what the recipe called for. She also used half of the requested chicken. Next time I'd say go the full four pounds of chicken, or quarter the seasoning. Either way, I hope she makes this one again! As always, any notes or changes are in blue.

Slow-Cooker Cream Cheese Chicken with Broccoli
via Crock Pot Potluck For All Occasions

Igredients

• 4 pounds boneless, skinless chicken breasts, cut into 1/2-inch pieces (as we are not made of money, she used 2 pounds of chicken)
• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• 1 package (1-ounce) Italian salad dressing mix (her package was .6 ounces and we felt that was PLENTY)
• Nonstick cooking spray
• 2 cups (8 ounces) sliced mushrooms (she used one 4-ounce can of mushrooms, drained)
• 1 cup chopped onion (she went with 1/2 cup)
• 1 can (10.75 ounces) condensed cream of chicken soup, undiluted
• 1 bag (10 ounces) frozen broccoli florets, thawed 
• 1 package (8 ounces) cream cheese, cubed (she used 4 ounces, and as always, Neufchatel was used in place of cream cheese)
• 1/4 cup dry sherry (she used 1/8 cup dry Vermouth)
• Hot cooked pasta (We did serve it over pasta, but I also served it over herbed swirl bread for lunches a couple times)

Directions

1. Toss chicken with oil in a large bowl. Sprinkle with salad dressing mix. Transfer to a slow-cooker. Cover; cook on LOW for 3 hours
2. Coat large skillet with cooking spray; heat over medium heat. Add mushrooms and onion; cook 5 minutes or until onion is tender, stirring occasionally (since The Wife used canned mushrooms, she didn't add them until the next step.)
3. Add soup, broccoli, cream cheese and sherry (neufchatel and vermouth in our case), to the pan (hopefully you didn't just throw that stuff into the slow cooker, because if you did, you just screwed up,) cook and stir until heated through. Transfer to the slow-cooker. Cover and cook on LOW for 1 hour. Serve over pasta (or bread, or rice, or whatever you want. Don't give in to recipe bullying)

Good Times!

UPDATE: Now there is a video for this recipe:

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Stir-Fried Broccoli with Crabuluxe

     Once again I turn to the Betty Crocker 300 Calorie Cookbook. As always, I end up infuriated. Not with the food, mind you.  No, what really pisses me off is how these recipes are written. Something about the wording of these recipes just makes me insane. They are just needlessly complicated and ponderously worded. The recipes are generally quite tasty. However, this one was a bit bland and could benefit from a bit of spice. I wound up adding a couple teaspoons of home-made Sriracha. As always, any notes are changes are in blue.

Stir-Fried Broccoli with Crabuluxe
via: Betty Crocker 300 Calorie Cookbook

Ingredients

• 1 lb fresh broccoli
• 2 green onions, with tops
• 1 tablespoon corn starch
• 1 tablespoon cold water
• 3 tablespoons vegetable oil
• 1 clove garlic, finely chopped (feeling lazy. I used 1 tablespoon jarred garlic)
• 1/4 cup chicken broth
• 8 ounces frozen salad-style imitation crabmeat, thawed ("salad-style?" What sort of hoity-toity stuff is that? You're using fake crab meat. Don't try to make it sound fancy. If you must, do what we do and call it "Crabuluxe.")
• 1/4 teaspoon sesame oil
• 1/4 teaspoon red pepper flakes or hot sauce of your choice

Directions

1. Peel outer layer from broccoli. Cut broccoli lengthwise into 1-inch stems; Remove florets. Cut stems diagonally into 1/4 inch slices (AHAHAHAHAHA! That was not going to happen. That's just a lot of bullshit work for something that's eventually going to be poop. We just cut the florets off close to the stalk and moved on). Place broccoli stems in boiling water; heat to boiling (THE WATER IS ALREADY BOILING! Why does Betty Crocker insist on constantly fucking with my head?) Cover and cook for 30 seconds. Add florets; heat to boiling. Cover and cook 30 seconds (You know what? No. I'm not doing that. That's more work than I'm willing to commit to. I just chucked the cut broccoli in the boiling water and let it go for about a minute or so). Drain and rinse in cold water. 
2. Cut onions into 1/2-inch pieces. Slice lengthwise in half and set aside (just slice the onions and move it along).
3. In a small bowl, mix corn starch and water; set aside.
4. In wok or 12-inch skillet, heat vegetable oil over high heat. Add broccoli and garlic; stir-fry 1 minute. Add broth; heat to boiling. Stir in cornstarch mixture cook and stir until thickened. Add Crabuluxe, onions and sesame oil; cook and stir 1 minute.

Good Times!

Lemon Chicken with Broccoli

     Chicken and broccoli is just one of those classic combinations that you find everywhere. Those two ingredients lend themselves to dozens and dozens of recipes across numerous cultures. I have no numbers to back that up, but it sounds impressive so just go with it. This recipe is pretty simple and certainly healthy, coming in at around 260 calories per serving. You could probably ditch the crackers and replace it with panko and save yourself a few extra calories. This is certainly a winning work-week dinner. As always, any notes and changes are in blue.

Lemon Chicken with Broccoli
via Betty Crocker 300 Calorie Cookbook

Ingredients

• 2 cups (4 ounces) uncooked bow-tie (farfalle) pasta (naturally, I went with shells instead)
• 1/4 cup crushed round buttery crackers (I will gladly endorse Ritz crackers here for a fat paycheck)
• 1 teaspoon grated lemon peel (I just used an equal amount of dried lemon zest)
• 1 lb boneless, skinless chicken breasts, cut into 1/4" strips (it is clear from the picture that I willfully ignored this direction and cut the chicken into chunks. TAKE THAT, BETTY CROCKER!)
• 2 cloves garlic, finely chopped (lazy, as always, I used 2 teaspoons minced garlic from a jar)
• 2 cups frozen broccoli florets or broccoli cuts, thawed and drained
• 1 can (10.5 ounces) condensed low-fat, low-sodium cream of chicken soup (I actually make it a point to use this kind of soup in recipes. Otherwise, the sodium gets totally out of hand and I inflate like a tick)
• 1 cup chicken broth
• 1/2 cup fat-free (skim) milk (Not happening. I can't stand skim. I used 2%)
• 2 tablespoons lemon juice (I hope they meant from a bottle, because that's what I used)
• 1/8 teaspoon pepper

Directions

1. Heat oven to 350F. Spray 13x9" glass baking dish with cooking spray (I used a Corningware dish here just to be spiteful)
2. Cook and drain pasta as directed on package (Really? They could have saved everyone time by just changing "uncooked pasta" to "cooked pasta" up in the ingredients. And don't start any crap with amount changing because of cooking. It would have been just fine. This is just Betty Crocker intentionally giving me shit). Meanhwile, in a small bowl, mix crushed crackers and lemon peel; set aside.
3. Spray 10-inch skillet with cooking spray (I used a 12 inch skillet. I am done with being bullied by a fictional cook); heat over medium-high heat. Add chicken and garlic; cook 2-3 minutes, stirring frequently, until chicken is brown. Remove from heat; stir in pasta and remaining ingredients. Spoon chicken mixture into baking dish. Sprinkle with crumb mixture.
4. Cover with foil; bake 25 minutes. Bake uncovered 10-15 minutes longer or until hot and bubbly. 

Good times!

Cheesy Broccoli Cauliflower Casserole

     As often as I repost recipes from Taste of Home Everyday Light Meals, I figure I'm eventually going to get a lucrative endorsement deal. Or a cease and desist order from their lawyers. Either way, until I hear otherwise, I'm going to keep sharing recipes I've used and abused from this book. This is everything you'd want from a casserole: veggies, meat and cheese with a nice crust. We absolutely destroyed this the night we served it. The wife, myself and a guest ate about 2/3 of this before falling asleep at the table. As always, changes and notes are in blue.

Cheesy Broccoli Cauliflower Bake
via Taste of Home Everyday Light Meals

Ingredients

• 1 tablespoon butter
• 4-1/2 tablespoons flour
• 1-1/4 cup 1% milk (we used 2%)
• 3/4 cup shredded reduced-fat cheddar cheese
• 1/3 cup grated Parmesan cheese
• 1 package (10 ounces) frozen broccoli florets, thawed (we used fresh from the garden, we steamed the broccoli before adding it to the recipe)
• 1 package (10 ounces) frozen cauliflowerets, thawed (the cauliflower in our garden wasn't ready to harvest yet so we used a bag of frozen mixed Italian veggies. It had cauliflower, lima beans, carrots, etc)
• 1 cup cubed fully cooked lean ham (had some Honey-Baked Ham in the freezer. Score!)
• Butter-flavored nonstick cooking spray (just used regular canola oil non-stick cooking spray)

Directions

1. In a saucepan, melt butter. Stir in flour until smooth; gradually add the milk. Bring to a boil; cook and stir for 1-2 minutes or until thickened. Remove from heat. Add cheeses and stir until melted. 
2. Place vegetables in a 2 quart baking dish coated with non-stick cooking spray. Sprinkle with ham. Pour sauce over ham.

   

   Just before the sauce goes on. Looking good so far!

3. Place bread crumbs in a bowl; spray with butter flavored cooking spray (or just regular cooking spray. It's just a casserole; no need to get overly fancy) Sprinkle crumbs around edge of casserole.
4. Bake, uncovered, at 350F for 25-30 minutes or until heated through and bubbly (we let it go for 40 minutes so it was good and molten when we got it out. That skin on the roof of your mouth will eventually grow back, right?)

Good times!

Spicy Won Ton Soup via Foodista

     I had planned on making this soup recipe for my wife's birthday. I let her sift through my recipes and pinboard and pick out what she wanted. She found this recipe for Spicy Won-Ton Soup on Foodista. I made a fair amount of changes to this recipe out of necessity.  I didn't have a couple of the ingredients in stock and made substitutions. I also ended up doubling the recipe because I used a pound of meat. Plus, we had an unexpected guest so I needed to pad out the broth to make sure there was enough for everyone. Fortunately I had a bunch of chicken stock in the freezer. The soup was a big hit and very tasty. As always, notes and changes are in blue.

Spicy Won-ton Soup
via Foodista

Ingredients

Wontons
1/2 pound ground chicken or ground turkey (I didn't have any ground turkey or chicken in the house and didn't feel like grinding it myself. I did, however have a pound of ground pork, which I used instead)
1/4 cup carrots,  minced
2 stalks spring onion, minced (I used green onion. I figured it was the same thing. I also used 4)
1 teaspoon fish sauce (I used 2 teaspoons)
1 teaspoon crushed red chili pepper(optional) (hot peppers are never an option. Stop living in fear. However, in this case I left them out because my wife didn't want a super spicy soup. If mama ain't happy, nobody's happy)
salt and pepper to taste
won-ton wrappers (Didn't have these either. However, I did have egg roll wrappers which I ran though the Kitchenaid pasta roller on the thinnest setting. *POOF!* Instant wonton wrappers)

Broth
2 cups chicken broth (I ended up using double this amount because I had so many won-tons. Please use your own chicken stock. Don't use boullion unless it's an emergency)
1 teaspoon  fermented soy bean paste or black bean paste or chili (I found a jar of black bean sauce with garlic at the grocery store that looked promising. I used that instead)
1 teaspoon sliced ginger (I went berserk and used over 2 teaspoons)
1 tablespoon soy sauce or fish sauce (season to suit your taste)
1 stalk spring onion, sliced diagonally for garnish (totally forgot to do this)
Baby bok choy or Chinese broccoli (Accidentally bought Chinese CABBAGE instead of broccoli. I just cut up some of that and used it. No harm done)

Directions

1. Mix filling in a bowl. Place one teaspoon in center of won-ton wrapper and fold in half, sealing edges with water.
2. Boil 2 cups of chicken broth. (Or however much you ended up using) Add fermented soy beans (or black bean and garlic sauce) and ginger . Drop won-ton balls and continue cooking until won-tons starting floating. 
3. Add baby bok choy (if large, cut in half lengthwise) or sliced Chinese broccoli (Or Chinese cabbage). Cook until vegetables are blanched.
4. Remove from heat. Season with extra soy sauce, salt and pepper to taste (Yeah, there's probably enough sodium in here already. Maybe skip the extra soy sauce and salt unless you're a huge fan of hypertension.) Garnish with spring onions and serve.

Good times!

Chicken & Vegetable with Gorgonzola Soup

     Of late I have found myself with a regular surplus of leeks and chicken. When I find myself with vegetables and poultry, my thoughts generally turn to soup. I decided to do something different than regular old chicken soup and veggies. Having recently attended a Highland Games and Celtic Festival, I decided to to a spin on a traditional Scottish soup. Chicken and leek soup has a proud Scottish pedigree but a truly unfortunate name.

Egad! Cock-a-Leekie? Seriously?

     There was no way I was going to use that name. It sounds more like a medical dysfunction than a recipe. I wound up taking bits and pieces from a few different variants on chicken and leek based Irish and Scottish soups. This is what I came up with. Chicken & Vegetable with Gorgonzola Soup. We were pretty pleased with the results. The strong cheese played well with the mellow taste of the vegetables and chicken. The soup was a touch creamy, but not thick. I'm calling this a winner.

Chicken & Vegetable with Gorgonzola Soup

Ingredients

• 2 medium leeks, cleaned and thinly sliced
• 2 ribs celery, thinly slices
• 3 medium carrots, peeled and thinly sliced
• 1 head broccoli (florets)
• 2 tablespoons olive oil
• 5-1/2 cups chicken stock
• 1/2 cup white wine
• 1 chicken breast, skin removed
• 4 ounces Gorgonzola, crumbled
• 2 tablespoons flour
• 1/4 cup butter
• 1/4 cup heavy cream
• Extra cheese and chives for garnish

Directions

1. Heat butter and oil in pan, cook vegetables about 10 minutes. You don't want the veggies browned, just soften them up a bit.
2. Reduce heat to low and add cheese. Stir until cheese is melted and incorporated into the vegetables. Add the flour and stir for 2 minutes. You're going to end up with something that looks a bit like a roux. Don't overcook it. You don't want this to get brown.
3. Once the flour and cheese are fully incorporated, slowly add in the wine, stirring constantly. Once the wine is completely in, add the chicken broth. Increase heat to bring to a boil, then lower heat to a simmer.
4. Throw the chicken breast into the simmering post. You're going to leave it all simmering, covered, for about 30 minutes, or until the chicken is done. We don't want to poison anybody. When the chicken is done, strip the meat from the bone and shred the meat. Throw the meat back into the soup.
5. Add the heavy cream and let simmer for 5 more minutes. Season with salt and pepper to taste.
6. Garnish with a little more Gorgonzola and finely chopped chives.

Good times!

MCK Product Review: Chef Basket

     As I was browsing the local Dollar Tree, as I am wont to do, I happened upon a rack just stuffed with "As Seen On TV" merchandise. Over two-thirds of it was dominated by a single item. That item was "The Original Chef Basket." Proudly proclaiming itself as a 12 in 1 kitchen tool, it cried out to be purchased. A local townie also stared longingly at the display. I looked at her and asked how we could have possibly lived this long without such a wonder in our kitchen. She nodded and lobbed one into her cart. She imparted these words of wisdom before wandering down the cleaning supply aisle: "Hell, for a buck, why wouldn't you buy it?" Naturally, I bought one. 

How has society advanced this far without one of these?
 

     The box proudly proclaims twelve different functions. That's probably bullshit, so let's focus on the stuff it shows on the front of the box. Steaming, rinse&strain and deep frying. You know what? I'm not dragging out the deep fryer for this test. That's too much work. Plus, my fryer already has a basket. The first test will be steaming. I chopped up some broccoli. What the Hell do you call a bunch of broccoli? Bunch? Group? Bouquet? Really, it's a head of broccoli? It doesn't look like a head at all. That's just stupid. Anyway, I chucked the broccoli in the Chef Basket and set up a pot of water.

Actual steaming in progress. 

      The verdict? It worked fine. No broccoli fell out, and the thing turned into a little basket just like it said. I just flipped it out into a bowl. No muss, no fuss. Next up was the rinse and strain. I took some potatoes and rinsed them off in the basket. Short of the basket self-destructing, it's pretty hard to screw up the "rinse" feature of this thing. I chose to cut up and par-boil the potatoes, which would require straining. I loaded the potatoes in the Chef Basket, which I had propped in the sink.

Try not to pass out from all this excitement. 

     The verdict? It worked fine. No potatoes fell through. That's about all that could have gone wrong. Finally, I cooked up a load of farfalle. I left the basket in the pot of water and poured in the farfalle. I was going to attempt to lift the basket out of the water and set it up for draining, just like on the cover.

I wonder if my good friend Rachel Ray has one of these?

     The verdict? Maybe farfalle wasn't the best pasta to use. The basket has some fairly large spaces for smaller pasta to sneak out. We lost about 15 pieces into the main pot. If you're using this for pasta, I'd stay away from stuff like elbow macaroni or orzo. I was impressed that the handles weren't red hot when I inevitably forgot to use mitts to lift the basket out. They did not really transfer much heat.

     I guess the question I need to answer is did I get my dollar's worth? Well, it does what it shows on the box. It even folds up flat. I suppose if you can find it for a buck, pick one up.

Good times!

Monday Meal: Teriyaki Salmon and Broccoli Packets

     Last week I promised I would post a simple, mid-week recipe. I will do that here shortly. I'm a huge fan of this type of recipe. There's a minimal amount of ingredients, it's super-easy to make, and cleaning up is a breeze. I need that from a mid-week meal. Most of the time, when I get home it's a battle to simply not pile the wife in the car and go out to eat. As awesome as that would be, it would get expensive. We'd also both weigh about 350 pounds each.

With our combined gravities, we shall control the tides!

       That's one of the benefits of this recipe. It is very low in calories, especially if you don't serve rice with it. The sodium is probably a bit high from the teriyaki sauce, but not bad.  If you're watching the money, any brand of teriyaki is fine. When available, I use Soy-Vay.  I find the flavor is better than anything else that I've tried.  As far as cost, if you're willing to buy frozen, it's possible to buy a pound of salmon for under five bucks. The packs usually come in four individually packaged fillets, which I find terribly helpful. Take what you need, everything else stays in the freezer. As for the broccoli, don't feel tied down to that vegetable. I often substitute slices of squash or zucchini. You could pretty much put in any vegetable and it would be fine.  I'm giving you the recipe for a single serving, since they're packaged in foil individually. Enjoy!

Ingredients:

• 4 ounce fillet of salmon 
• 1 heaping cup broccoli florets (frozen is fine)
• 3 tablespoons teriyaki sauce 
• Square of tinfoil

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 375F
2. Lay salmon (if it has skin, skin side down) on a large square of tinfoil
3. Spread broccoli over top of salmon
4. Pour teriyaki over broccoli and salmon
5. Fold foil into packet around ingredients, making sure it's going to hold in the sauce
6. Cook 20-25 minutes or until fish flakes easily
7. Serve over steamed white rice (if you want)