Sweet and Tangy Crabuluxe Pasta Salad

     I do so enjoy a good pasta salad. I also enjoy Crabuluxe, so obviously my tastes can't be a reliable source of information. For those of you who have yet to hear me speak of Crabuluxe, it is the faux-product name I tag on any form of imitation crab meat. It runs about $2.50 per pound and is useful in all sorts of recipes (such as Zesty Crabuluxe Cold Pasta Salad; Crab and Spinach Enchiladas, or Stir-Fried Broccoli with Crabuluxe). I suppose if you're made of money and regularly wipe your ass with $100 bills you could go ahead and use real crab meat. Anyways, we whipped this little number up using a mango-chipotle vinaigrette we picked up at ALDI. We had it warm the day we made it, then ate it cold the next day. We felt cold was the better way to serve it. Do what you want as far as serving temperature. Nobody listens to me anyways. As always, notes are in blue.

Sweet and Tangy Crabuluxe Pasta Salad

Ingredients

• 1 pound medium shells pasta
• 1 pound Crabuluxe, cut into bite sized pieces
• 1 medium sweet onion, chopped
• 3 medium tomatoes, chopped
• 8 ounces mozzarella cheese, cut into 1/4" cubes
• 1-1/4 cup mango chipotle vinaigrette (ALDI carries it. If you don't have access to ALDI, I imagine most larger grocery stores carry something similar)
• 1 teaspoon garlic powder
• 1 teaspoon ponzu sauce (it's a citrus based sauce. If you don't have it in your kitchen, stop reading this and go get a bottle. You can thank me later)
• 2 teaspoons Sriracha (optional for babies and the chronically lame)

Directions

1. Cook pasta until al dente (nice guy, Al. I wonder what he's up to these days?) Drain put in a large bowl. 
2. In a smaller bowl, mix the vinaigrette, garlic powder, ponzu and Sriracha. 
3. Put all the remaining ingredients in the large bowl with the pasta. Pour in the contents of the smaller bowl. Toss to incorporate ingredients. 
4. Refrigerate at least one hour before serving. (as mentioned, we loved this as a cold pasta salad. There's really nothing stopping you from serving it immediately if you prefer a warm pasta salad. It's not like I have your house under surveillance...Or do I?)

Good Times!

Shells with Broccoli and Anchovy

     It's always a good idea to have some truly speedy recipes in your repertoire. A home-cooked meal is a wonderful thing to carry you through to the weekend. Usually when we get home from work we're not in the mood to cook. We normally reheat something we prepared with a slow cooker on Sunday. This is a fantastic and simple recipe. It also has anchovies, which I love. If you're squeamish about anchovies, get over that sort of shit. You're not six. Unless you're allergic, give it a try. If you are allergic, try it anyway, but add an Epipen to the silverware layout. As always, notes and changes are in blue. 

Shells with Broccoli and Anchovy
via The Essential Pasta Cookbook

Ingredients

• 1 lb. medium shell pasta
• 14 ounces broccoli (we used a 10 ounce bag of frozen broccoli and it was plenty)
• 1 tablespoon oil (I used the oil from the can of anchovies we opened)
• 1 onion, chopped (I used a Vidalia, figuring the sweetness would go well in here)
• 1 clove garlic, crushed
• 3 anchovy fillets, chopped (in retrospect, we probably could have easily doubled the amount of anchovies. The Wife even said it could have used a bit more anchovy, which is impressive considering she's not a big fan of the little fishies!)
• 1-1/4 cups cream
• 1/2 cup freshly grated Parmesan, for serving (we added it directly to the pasta instead of over the top)

Directions

1. Cook the pasta in salted water until al dente (I went to school with Al Dente. Nice guy). Drain and return to the pan.
2. While the pasta is cooking, cut the broccoli into florets and cook in a pan of boiling water for 1 minute. Drain, plunge in cold water and drain again. Set aside. Alternately, if you're lazy like us, just microwave a steamer bag of broccoli and be done with it. This frees up valuable time for wine drinking.
3. Heat the oil in a pan. Add the onion, garlic and anchovies and cook over low heat, stirring for 3 minutes (I changed this up a bit because The Wife prefers her onions with no snap. I wound up sauteeing for closer to 7-8 minutes to make sure the onions were the right consistency)
4. Add the cream to the pan, stirring constantly; bring to the boil. Reduce to a simmer and simmer for about 2 minutes. Add the broccoli and cook for another minute. Salt and pepper to taste, if desired. Add the sauce to the pasta and toss to combine. Sprinkle with Parmesan and serve (we opted to toss the cheese with the pasta)

Good times!

Pasta with Zucchini and Shrimp

     Our garden has been zucchini fabulous this season. Even in late October, it's still producing. We have been desperately searching for ways to use it up. There's only so many zucchini breads or zucchini boats you can eat. The recipe we settled on turned out to be extremely easy and tasty. While we made some adjustments for what was actually on hand, I think we're actually pretty close to the intended recipe here. We're calling it a winner. As always, notes and changes are in blue.

Pasta with Zucchini and Shrimp
Originally Maccheroni alla Chitarra con Gamberi e Zucchini
via The Geometry of Pasta

Ingredients

• About 1/2 pound maccheroni all chitarra (that's the same thing as medium shells, right? Because that's what I used)
• 2-3 zucchini (about 2/3 pound) (they must have some weak-ass garden where they are, because our zucchini are about 2/3 pound EACH. That's just how badass we are. We used one zucchini and one small yellow squash)
• 4-1/2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
• 1 garlic clove, cut into matchsticks
• 1/2-2/3 pound raw shell-on prawns, shelled (prawns! La-de-da! Unfortunately, my chauffeur had the flu so I couldn't get to my man on the coast. I had to make due with a bag of frozen shrimp from Wal-mart. Scandalous.)
• 3-1/2 tablespoons butter
• 10 basil leaves, torn or shredded

Directions

1. Top and tail the zucchini, then cut across into half to make them a manageable length. Slice each section lengthwise in thin, 1-2 millimeter slices, then stack the slices and cut into julienne strips the same width as the pasta will be when cooked. You could lightly season these with salt a few minutes, but it isn't really necessary.

   

   Yeah, it's totally not going to happen like that.

   (Now the previous instructions as we did it: Cut the ends off the zucchini. Run the bastard through a mandoline with the julienne blades in. Don't worry about how long you cut them. Carry on.)
2. Put the pasta on. (I would, but it doesn't go with my outfit at all)
3. A few minutes before the pasta is cooked, heat a wide saucepan over medium heat. Add the oil and garlic, which should fry a little, but not color. 
4. Add the zucchini, prawns (shrimp), and salt and pepper to taste. Fry until prawns are half cooked, then add the butter. Sautee until the sauce is luscious (Whoo! Somebody had their thesaurus out when they wrote this!) and the zucchini is wilted, but with some bite.
5. Drain the pasta and toss into the sauce, increasing the heat to high for the last 30 seconds. Stir in the basil and serve.

Good times!

Lemon Chicken with Broccoli

     Chicken and broccoli is just one of those classic combinations that you find everywhere. Those two ingredients lend themselves to dozens and dozens of recipes across numerous cultures. I have no numbers to back that up, but it sounds impressive so just go with it. This recipe is pretty simple and certainly healthy, coming in at around 260 calories per serving. You could probably ditch the crackers and replace it with panko and save yourself a few extra calories. This is certainly a winning work-week dinner. As always, any notes and changes are in blue.

Lemon Chicken with Broccoli
via Betty Crocker 300 Calorie Cookbook

Ingredients

• 2 cups (4 ounces) uncooked bow-tie (farfalle) pasta (naturally, I went with shells instead)
• 1/4 cup crushed round buttery crackers (I will gladly endorse Ritz crackers here for a fat paycheck)
• 1 teaspoon grated lemon peel (I just used an equal amount of dried lemon zest)
• 1 lb boneless, skinless chicken breasts, cut into 1/4" strips (it is clear from the picture that I willfully ignored this direction and cut the chicken into chunks. TAKE THAT, BETTY CROCKER!)
• 2 cloves garlic, finely chopped (lazy, as always, I used 2 teaspoons minced garlic from a jar)
• 2 cups frozen broccoli florets or broccoli cuts, thawed and drained
• 1 can (10.5 ounces) condensed low-fat, low-sodium cream of chicken soup (I actually make it a point to use this kind of soup in recipes. Otherwise, the sodium gets totally out of hand and I inflate like a tick)
• 1 cup chicken broth
• 1/2 cup fat-free (skim) milk (Not happening. I can't stand skim. I used 2%)
• 2 tablespoons lemon juice (I hope they meant from a bottle, because that's what I used)
• 1/8 teaspoon pepper

Directions

1. Heat oven to 350F. Spray 13x9" glass baking dish with cooking spray (I used a Corningware dish here just to be spiteful)
2. Cook and drain pasta as directed on package (Really? They could have saved everyone time by just changing "uncooked pasta" to "cooked pasta" up in the ingredients. And don't start any crap with amount changing because of cooking. It would have been just fine. This is just Betty Crocker intentionally giving me shit). Meanhwile, in a small bowl, mix crushed crackers and lemon peel; set aside.
3. Spray 10-inch skillet with cooking spray (I used a 12 inch skillet. I am done with being bullied by a fictional cook); heat over medium-high heat. Add chicken and garlic; cook 2-3 minutes, stirring frequently, until chicken is brown. Remove from heat; stir in pasta and remaining ingredients. Spoon chicken mixture into baking dish. Sprinkle with crumb mixture.
4. Cover with foil; bake 25 minutes. Bake uncovered 10-15 minutes longer or until hot and bubbly. 

Good times!

Shells with Bell Peppers and Feta

     If I ever lose my copy of Taste of Home Everyday Light Meals, I'm hosed. I am constantly digging through this recipe book for recipes and ideas. We really liked this recipe. It's super easy to put together and leaves plenty of room for personal interpretation. It's also fairly healthy. This is one of those meals that is perfect for the middle of a busy week. As a bonus, it's good cold, too! As always, any notes or changes are in blue.

Shells with Bell Peppers and Feta
via Taste of Home Everyday Light Meals

Ingredients

• 2-1/4 cups uncooked penne (we used 5 cups of medium shells)
• 3/4 cup chopped onion 
• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• 3 cloves garlic, minced
• 1 cup chopped sweet red pepper
• 1 cup chopped green pepper
• 1/4 cup sliced ripe black olives (you bet. Ripe from the can.)
• 1 teaspoon dried oregano
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1/8 teaspoon cayenne pepper (I never understand measurements like this. 1/8 teaspoon? Really? Why not hold the jar of cayenne next to the bowl and call it a day? I used a full teaspoon)
• 1/4 cup water
• 1/2 cup crumbled feta cheese

Directions

1. Cook and drain pasta according to package directions (It's important to use the right package for directions. You don't want to accidentally cook your pasta according to the directions on a package of suppositories). 
2. In a nonstick skillet, sautee onion in oil for 1-1/2 minutes. Add garlic; cook 30 seconds longer.
3. Add the peppers; cook and stir for 2-3 minutes or until vegetables are tender.
4. Stir in olives, oregano, salt, and cayenne. Add water; cook and stir until mixture comes to a boil. Stir pasta into skillet. Remove from heat. Stir in cheese.