Sweet and Tangy Chicken & Green Beans

 So as luck would have it, we were gifted several pounds of green beans. This means we were now burdened with finding a way to use them before they all went off. We vacuum sealed a few bags for later consideration but held back one pound for experimentation. I was having some difficulty coming up with something that didn't involve a can of cream of mushroom soup. That's when I wound up going off the rails and basically pouring an entire bottle of Scott's Smoked Q Pineapple Ginger BBQ sauce in the slow cooker. The end result was actually really tasty. Kind of a Chinese restaurant, sweet and sour vibe. It works as a side dish, or you can serve it over rice as a full meal. As always, any notes are in blue. 

Ingredients

• 3 boneless, skinless chicken breasts (about 1-1/2 pounds) cut into 1" cubes
• 1 pound green beans, cut to whatever size you prefer
• 1/2 onion, chopped
• 1 tablespoon (about 3-4 cloves) garlic, chopped
• 1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes. 
• 1/2 cup Shock Top Mango Island Wheat Beer (If you can't find this, any light beer would work. If you don't do booze, you can use ginger beer or water or chicken stock.)
• 1 bottle (12 ounces), divided Scott's Smoked Q Pineapple Ginger BBQ Sauce* (you're going to want to actually use this sauce because: 1) It's really good and 2) I can't think of anything that would adequately work as a substitute)

Ready for action!

Directions

1. Throw the first 5 ingredients into a slow cooker. 
2. Add about 2/3 of the bottle of BBQ sauce (about 3/4 cup)
3. Cook on HIGH for 3-1/2 hours
4. Drain the liquid out of the slow cooker. (seems an odd step, but if you don't, the whole thing will be very liquidy and the sauce won't stick well to everything.)
5. Add the remaining BBQ sauce and give everything a good stir. 
6. Cook on LOW another 15 minutes.

*If you follow that link and buy the sauce, use code TFMCK to save 10%!
Good Times!

Spicy Chicken and Stuffing Casserole

There is no denying the perfect combination of poultry and stuffing.  Ok, technically dressing since it is outside the bird. Whatever. The bottom line is I have combined the two into a casserole. Is this an original idea? LOL, no. However, the combo of flavors is original. It is tangy and spicy and is worth a try. 

That said, not all of you are going to have the Scott's Smoked Q sauces and rubs on hand. That's unfortunate, but should not prevent you from trying this dish. It just won't taste the way it does for me. Again, unfortunate, but the world is an imperfect place. I have listed substitutions where appropriate. This recipe also uses beer (Old Style to be specific). If you can't or don't do alcohol, again, no biggie. Again, I give substitutes. Look, in the end, do what you want with it. Throw Fruity Pebbles in there. Crumble in some Takis. Go wild. Life is too short to not screw around a little. As always, notes are in blue.  

*Disclosure. The people at Scott's Smoked Q sent me a great big box of goodies to play with and I am having a great time. If you follow any links here and follow them and subsequently purchase any of their fine wares, I receive a small commission. You also get 10% off  if you use code TFMCK.

Ingredients 

• 1 box (10 Oz.) Cornbread stuffing mix
• 1 can (18.5 Oz.) Old El Paso Chipotle Corn Chowder (if you can't find this, use a can of cream of chicken soup and a half can of creamed corn)
• 1/2 yellow onion, finely chopped
• 1 cup yellow squash,  diced
• 1 cup zucchini,  diced
• 1 cup shredded taco cheese
• 1/4 cup Scott's Smoked Q Carolina Gold (if you can't get it, use a spicy mustard)
• 2 cups cooked, store bought rotisserie chicken, chopped
• 8 Oz. Beer (feel free to sub with chicken stock or water)
• 1/2 cup shredded Monterrey Jack cheese 
• 2 teaspoons  Scott's Smoked Q AP Rub (If you can't get it, sub in a spicy blend like Slap Ya Mama or something along those lines.)

Directions 

1. Preheat oven to 375F (190C, Gas Mark 5)
2. Grease a 9"x13" baking pan
3. In a large bowl, mix everything but the Monterrey Jack cheese.
4. Pour into the pan. Bake uncovered for 60-70 minutes. It may be pretty moist when it comes out. If so, put it back in for 15 minute increments until it is a consistency you like. 
5. Remove from oven and top with remaining cheese.  Return to oven for another 10 minutes or until the cheese is good and melted. 
6. Take it out and let it rest for 5-10 minutes, because it will be molten.

Good Times!

Chicken Pot Pie Bake

 The rotisserie chicken at Sam's Club is a wonderful thing. For under five bucks, you get an entire cooked chicken ready to bend to your will. If you lack creativity, you can simply just rend the meat from the bone and eat like a savage. Alternately, you can use that cooked meat in any number of exciting recipes and then use the carcass to make a savory soup stock! Or you can just do the Midwest thing and bust open a can of cream soup and make a bake. That's what we did here. The only thing that we did to spice it up was add a packet of Sazon, as that makes most anything better. The Spud had seconds, which is a ringing endorsement. Fair warning: If you're storing leftovers, consider taking the baked shell off the top before storing it and heating it in the oven separately later. If you leave it on overnight, it suffers some sort of chemical breakdown on the bottom and gets all sticky and gooey. Give it a try and see what you think! If you don't like it, don't tell me. I'm emotionally fragile. As always, any notes are in blue.

Chicken Pot Pie Bake

Ingredients

• 3 cups cooked chicken, cubed
• 1 can (10.5oz) cream of chicken soup
• 1 can (15oz) mixed vegetables, drained
• 1 can (15oz) cut green beans, drained
• 1 packet Sazon seasoning 
• 1 teaspoon garlic powder
• 1/2 teaspoon onion powder
• 1 teaspoon dried parsley
• 1 tube (8oz) crescent rolls

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 400F (200C/Gas Mark 6)
2. Grease 13" baking dish
3. In a large bowl, mix all ingredients except crescent rolls.
4. Empty contents of bowl into backing dish.
5. Bake for 15 minutes.
6. Find someone brave enough to open the tube of crescent rolls, because those things are absolutely terrifying. 
7. Unroll the crescent rolls. and press together into a sheet. Take the dish out of the oven and lay that sheet over the top of the contents of the baking dish, making sure the dough reaches the edge of the dish. (obviously be careful, as the dish will be hot)
8. Return dish to oven and bake an additional 10-15 minutes, or until the top is golden brown.

Look at the Golden Deliciousness.
LOOK AT IT.

Good times!

The Spud's Slow Cooker Spicy Tomato Chicken

 As she's been growing up watching me cook, The Spud has taken an interest in cooking. She's helped out with some of my meal preps and has even made dinner from a recipe herself once or twice. This time, she expressed a desire to come up with a recipe from scratch. She has discovered that spice can be a lot of fun and rampaged through our cabinets asking questions and pulling ingredients. She wanted spicy, but not so spicy that everyone couldn't eat and enjoy it. She picked all the ingredients and we worked together to decide how much of each to use. I'll be damned if she didn't nail it on her first try. Everybody in the house loved it, and we've made it again since. Some of the ingredients may be a little troublesome to find, but it will be worth it. Give it a try and let us know what you think! If you don't like it, I guess you can still tell us if you're OK with crushing the ego of a 10 year old. You do you. As always, notes are in blue.

Ingredients

• 2 lbs boneless chicken breasts (you could definitely use thighs here if you prefer, but The Spud likes white meat better)
• 1 quart (32 ounces) canned tomatoes, drained
• 1 pint tandoori tomato jam (this may prove tricky to find. We made ours from scratch. You could always just buy/make some tomato jam and add tandoori seasonings. Both are available separately on Amazon)
• 1 teaspoon Kashmiri chili powder (cayenne would work here, too)
• 1 teaspoon tamarind hot sauce (we used Tangy Tamarindo)
• 1/2 red onion, chopped
• 1 teaspoon dried cilantro (if you're one of those people who think it tastes like soap, use parsley, or lawn clippings)
• Salt and Pepper to taste

Directions

1. In a slow cooker (at least 3 quart size), lay the chicken in a layer at the bottom. 
2. Sprinkle salt, pepper, cilantro, and chili powder over the chicken.
3. In a bowl, mix tomatoes, tomato jam, and hot sauce. Stir the onions into the sauce.
4. Pour over chicken
5. Cook on HIGH for 4 hours. Take the lid off for the last 30 minutes to let the sauce thicken up.
6. Serve with/over rice

Good Times!

Chicken and Corn Dip

 Goodness, it's been a while since I've posted anything. I guess I've been busy? Lazy? Probably just lazy. Anyway, a few weeks back I threw together a little using odds and ends. It turned out well and for a change I had actually written everything down and not lost the paper I wrote it on. What a triumph. Long story short this dip is good hot or cold and is highly adjustable. Like it hotter? Add more hot. Don't eat meat? Put in tofu. Don't like cheese? Get away from me with that negativity. Try it and tell me what you think. Unless you don't like it and then I don't want to know. As always, notes are in blue.

Chicken and Corn Dip

Ingredients

• 1 cup creamed corn
• 1 cup diced or shredded fully cooked rotisserie chicken
• 1 cup shredded cheddar cheese (feel free to sub in the cheese of your choice. Pepper jack would probably be pretty good here)
• 8 ounce block cream cheese, softened
• 1 teaspoon dried minced onion (you can certainly use fresh onion if desired. If so, go with 1/2 finely chopped onion)
• 1 teaspoon garlic powder
• 1 teaspoon dry cilantro (if you're one of those people who think it tastes like soap, sub with parsley or basil)
• 1 teaspoon hot sauce of choice
• 1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes
• 1/2 teaspoon smoked paprika
• Salt and pepper to taste

Directions

1. In a medium pan, over medium heat, dump in everything and mix the shit out of it. Stop when the cheese is melted through and the cream cheese is smooth (not counting lumps from the other ingredients, those are fine)
2. Taste and adjust seasoning as needed/desired. Serve hot or cold with crackers or chips, or just scoop it out with your hands like an absolute fucking savage. 

Good Times!

Peanut Butter Gochujang Chicken Noodle Soup

 I'm not entirely sure what inspired this particular recipe, other than the need to use up some leftover chicken. The day was cold and rainy, so soup seemed the way to go. Everything sort of fell in to place from there. We've done peanut soups before and really like them, so I figured I would go with that theme. We had a tub of gochujang paste on hand, so it seemed logical to add some. The rest is history. This recipe comes together in no time and all and is easily made vegetarian by leaving out the chicken (The Wife wisely suggested using tofu cubes instead) and using vegetable stock instead of chicken. In the end, it is warm and filling soup perfect for the cold weather. Anyway, feel free to give it a try and let me know what you think. Unless you don't like it and then please don't contact me. As always, notes are in blue.

Peanut Butter Gochujang
Chicken Noodle Soup

Ingredients

• 32 ounces chicken stock
• 32 ounces water
• 1/3 cup peanut butter (creamy or chunky depending on what you like)
• 2 tablespoons gochujang paste
• 2 cups pre cooked rotisserie chicken, shredded
• 1/2 teaspoon MSG  (if you're one of those people still convinced that MSG is bad, just use salt)
• 1 teaspoon dried cilantro (if you're one of those people still convinced that cilantro tastes like soap, just use basil)
• 1 lb. angel hair pasta
• lime wedges and/or peanuts for garnish

Directions

1. In a large pot, add stock and water. Bring to a low boil.
2. Stir in peanut butter, gochujang, and MSG. Stir until peanut butter and gochujang are completely incorporated.
3. Add chicken and pasta and boil for 4 minutes.
4. Remove from heat and stir in cilantro.
5. Serve with peanuts and lime wedges

Magic Healing Soup*

 Sometimes, you get sick. If you're me, you get sick 2-3 times during the school year. This year, I got Covid AND an ear infection at the same time, which was all sorts of exciting. One of the good things that did come of it, is one of the people who follows my page (for whatever reason) suggested a base soup recipe. It didn't have specific measurements, so I just sort of followed ingredients and used amounts I felt were appropriate. Then I added a couple of extras because that's what you do with online recipes. You make fundamental changes to them without trying the original recipe, then bitch about how it turned out. (I SUBSTITUTED CIGARETTE BUTTS FOR THE SMOKED SAUSAGE AND  IT CAME OUT AWFUL. ZERO STARS). Anyways, this soup cleared our sinuses in short order and was good enough that we made a second batch the next day. We could not deny we felt much better after eating this soup. Even The Spud cleared her bowl. Give it a try and see what you think. If you hated it, blame the person who suggested this type of soup in the first place. I am an innocent victim. As always, notes are in blue. 

Magic Healing Soup*
(please see disclaimer in above photo)

Ingredients

• 2 lbs chicken (use light or dark meat as preferred. We used breasts since it was what was on hand)
• 2 quarts chicken stock
• 2 potatoes, cut into 1/2" cube OR 1 can (16 oz) Black beans, rinsed and drained (or use both, nobody is looking)
• 1 yellow onion, chopped
• 1 zucchini, chopped
• 7-150 cloves of garlic, chopped. (There is no upper limit to garlic here. We are trying to heal, or at the very least keep vampires at bay.)
• 2 cups prepared salsa (Hot is good. Let's get those sinuses cleared!)
• 1 cup corn (canned or frozen is fine)
• olive oil
• 1/2 teaspoon ground coriander
• 1/2 teaspoon cumin powder
• 1 heaping teaspoon chipotle in adobo
• 1 packed Sazon for soups
• splash of lime juice (around a tablespoon)
• salt and pepper to taste
• Nacho chips for garnish (optional)
• Chili crisp for garnish (optional, but only if you're a big baby)

Directions

1. In a large pan, on medium high heat, add 3 tablespoons of oil and the onion, zucchini, and garlic. Sautee for 5-7 minutes until the veggies are translucent and starting to brown a bit. Turn off heat and set aside.
2. In a large (4-6 quart) slow cooker, put in potatoes (and/or beans), salsa, corn, and chicken.
3. Add the coriander, cumin, chipotle, Sazon, and salt and pepper over the chicken.
4. Add the sautéed veggie mixture to the slow cooker. 
5. Add the stock and lime juice. 
6. Cook on HIGH for 4-1/2 hours.
7. Remove chicken from cooker, shred (the chicken. I'm not looking for a guitar solo), then return the chicken to the slow cooker. 
8. Serve with tortilla chips to either eat on the side, or crumble into the soup. (We crumbled lime tortilla chips in and loved it). 
9. Throw a little chili crisp on top because chili crisp.

Good Times!

One Pan Chicken and Rice

Certain recipes evoke core childhood memories. This is certainly one of them. Chicken and rice in a pan with some random veggies and pasta sauce. My mom used to make this regularly. She had no real printed recipe for it. Things just got thrown in a pan and heat was applied. Often, some of the rice would be crunchy and underdone. Other sections of the rice would be big clumps. However, it tasted good and was filling. The green olives were an odd addition, but they added a nice bit of zing to the flavor. 

Core Childhood Memory

It this gourmet? No, not at all. I use canned sauce here. I almost never used canned sauce. Everything in this recipe was about getting a meal together and on the table as quickly and easily as possible. This is comfort food, plain and simple. As always, notes are in blue.

One Pan Chicken and Rice

Ingredients

• 4 chicken breasts, about 2 lbs. (bone in or out, it doesn't really matter. You can even use thighs if you prefer. In any case, make sure they are skinless)
• 2 cups white rice
• 3 cups water or chicken stock
• 1 onion, cut into about 1" pieces
• 1 bell pepper, cut into about 1" pieces
• 1 can mushrooms (6.5oz), drained.
• 1/2 cup green olives
• 1 can (24 oz) pasta sauce (we used Hunt's Garlic & Herb)
• 2 teaspoons garlic powder
• 2 teaspoons dried Italian seasoning.
• Grated parmesan cheese

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 375F (190C, Gas Mark 5)
2. In a 9x13 baking dish add the rice and water/stock
3. Lay the chicken on top of the rice. 
4. Sprinkle the garlic and Italian seasoning over the chicken.
5. Distribute the vegetables around the pan. 
6. Pour the pasta sauce over the top of everything.
7. Cook uncovered for about 1 hour, or until the chicken and rice are both done. (a little bit of charring on the veggies is normal)
8. Garnish with parmesan cheese.

Everything benefits from a bit of cheese.
Good Times!

Slow Cooker Chicken and Potatoes in Garlic Cream Sauce

I have a love/hate relationship with my slow cooker. I love the convenience of being able to just set and forget a meal. I hate the fact that much of what comes out of it tastes much like anything else that comes out of it, and the fact that much of what comes out is not visually appealing. Did that make sense? Probably not. In any case, it seems I can get a slow cooker dish to TASTE good, but not to LOOK good. This one is no exception. It also requires a little stovetop work as well, which is usually a deal breaker for me. I just didn't think throwing raw onion would work here, though. That said, this dish smelled AMAZING and tasted really good. If it's not garlicky enough, throw some garlic powder in there. Go nuts. This is a pretty forgiving recipe. Some of you nicer people said it looked fine, but to me it looks like it was shaken out of a diaper.  And with that ringing endorsement, enjoy. As always, notes are in (blue.)

Slow Cooker Chicken and Potatoes
in Garlic Cream Sauce

Ingredients

• 6 potatoes (about 2 pounds), cleaned and quartered. (use whatever potatoes you want. We went with plain old russets. If you want to peel them, feel free. We generally don't.)
• 2 lbs boneless, skinless chicken breasts
• 1 can (14.5 ounce) cream of broccoli soup
• 1 envelope (1.2 ounce) Herb/Garlic soup mix
• 1 block (8 ounce) cream cheese, softened (we use neufchatel to keep the fat down)
• 1 onion, finely chopped
• 1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
• 1 teaspoon hot sauce of choice (or red pepper flakes. Or nothing if you're a big baby.)
• Olive oil
• Smoked paprika
• Salt and pepper

Directions

1. In a pan, heat a couple tablespoons of olive oil to medium-high heat. Add the onions and cook until they turn golden.
2. In a bowl, add the onions, cream cheese, soup, soup mix, Worcestershire and hot sauces. Whisk until the cream cheese is completely incorporated. 
3. Rub the chicken with some paprika and salt and pepper. 
4. In a 5 quart slow cooker, put in the potatoes first. Then lay the chicken breasts on top of that. Pour the sauce over the chicken.
5. Cook on HIGH for about 4-1/2 hours. If you do LOW, probably go with 7-8 hours.
6. Keep an eye on it. You're wanting the potatoes to be done and the chicken cooked through. If it looks like it's starting to dry out at the halfway point, add a splash of water (or chicken stock, or even dry white wine if you're feeling rowdy.)
7. Give everything a gentle stir at the end to make sure the sauce is covering everything before serving.

Good Times!

Slow Cooker Chicken and Potatoes in Pasta Sauce

 

Oh boy. Only 54 more wake ups until Summer Vacation. The Burn Out is real. Clearly based on the stellar content I've been posting (i.e. memes and various shitposting), I'm not finding much time or inclination to cook. Going without an oven for five weeks didn't help. We've leaned hard into the slow cooker. The upshot is we came up with a gem. You could eat this by itself as a stew, or over rice or pasta. It uses nothing but staple kitchen items so it won't be hard to put together (especially if you just use jarred pasta sauce) and isn't expensive. It is certainly filling and tasty. The Wife describes it as "kind of like cacciatore," which seems like a fair assessment.  Give it a try and let me know what you think. As always, notes are in blue. 

Slow Cooker Chicken and Potatoes in Pasta Sauce

Ingredients

• 4 medium potatoes, cut into 1" cubes (Peel them if you want. We generally don't)
• 1 medium onion, chopped
• 1 bell pepper, chopped (Pick whatever color you like. The Wife doesn't really like green peppers, so we used red bell peppers here)
• 4 cloves garlic, chopped
• 1 lb chicken (Another choice! Thighs or breasts? We went with breasts because we had more on hand and I like to save the thighs for any pressure cooking)
• 2-1/2 cups of pasta sauce. (I highly recommend this recipe for pasta sauce, but feel free to use your own, or even bust open a jar of store bought. I won't judge you.)
• 1 teaspoon dry oregano
• 1 teaspoon dry basil
• salt to taste

Directions

1. In a slow cooker (a 4-5 quart cooker will work), layer all the ingredients in order of appearance.
2. Cook on LOW for 6 hours. 
3. Shred the chicken with a fork.
4. Give everything a stir before serving.

Good Times!

Slow Cooker Faux Pho

We are still attempting to make it through the imposed homebounding using only the supplies we have in the house (apart from eventually having to get milk for the Spud). This has forced me to be creative and ensure we use up all of one thing before we make the next. Two days ago we defrosted a whole smoked chicken that was in our fridge. The first night we had it as is. The next night it was chicken wraps. This time, since IT WAS FUCKING SNOWING AGAIN, I decided to use the last of the chicken to make soup. I thought it would be neat to try making Pho, but real pho is a Pain In The Ass. Lots of straining and demand for a perfectly clear broth. Screw that. It all went into a slow cooker. Was it authentic? No clue. I've never had authentic pho. I'm guessing it wasn't even close to authentic. Was it good? HELLS YES IT WAS.

Slow Cooker Faux Pho

Ingredients

• 5 cups chicken stock
• 1 cup water
• 1 sweet onion, minced
• 3/4" ginger, grated
• 1/8 teaspoon ground clove
• 1 teaspoon ground coriander
• 1/4 teaspoon black pepper
• salt to taste
• 2 teaspoon dried cilantro
• 3 teaspoon fish sauce
• 1 can 14.5 ounces, bean sprouts, drained
• 1 pound cooked, shredded chicken
• 8 ounces rice noodles
• Lime wedges and Sriracha sauce for garnish

Directions

1. In a 5-6 quart slow cooker, add all ingredients except for the last 4. Set on LOW for 5 hours.
2. Add the sprouts, chicken, and noodles. Recover the slow-cooker and cook an additional 30 minutes.
3. Serve with lime wedges and Sriracha.

Good Times!

Homebound Day #5: Made it to Saturday

The first week of homebound is drawing to a close and we are officially shelter in place. It looks like there will be no real possibility of returning to school before April 14. Naturally, the weather is still cold and gloomy, so getting out into the yard is still not an option. Today, I decided to make something special for breakfast: French Toast. Granted, this is not really all that special but for bread, I'm using something I normally do not use for anything under any circumstance.

Panettone. I fucking HATE Panettone.

I truly hate Panettones. I am extremely vocal about how much I hate these. Naturally, my mother-in-law insists of inflicting these on us every year. This particular one has sat up on top of the fridge for over two years.  This is a testament to how unnatural they are. This was still squishy. I'd trust a Twinkie more. Panettones are the cockroach of the baked goods. They last FOREVER. However, The Wife likes them. The only way I'll tolerate them is if I can convert them into French Toast and drench them in butter, jelly, and syrup.

And they still have the consistency of gas station fruit cake.

With breakfast out of the way, we all found things to do on our own. The wife started getting seeds prepared for our garden, the Spud rampaged around the house until she discovered mahjong on The Wife's tablet. The kid has a knack for the game. I amused myself by playing some games on my Steam account that I loaded back up after a seven year hiatus.

Dinner was a simple affair. We made chicken wraps with the leftover chicken from last night, and served them with some more corn on the cob and the last of the jar of dilly beans. We finished up with some ancient rice pudding for dessert. 

A little spicy brown mustard and garlic herb cheese spread seals the deal.

There was enough chicken left that I'm going to try my hand at Pho for dinner tomorrow night. I'm pretty sure I have all the ingredients. So far my plan of using up all of one main ingredient before starting another is working well. We'll get at least 3 days of meals from that chicken, depending how much Pho I end up with. We are also defrosting a pork loin for use in the slow cooker tomorrow.

Toilet paper and booze supplies still look good. 

Stay Safe!

Homebound Day #4: Shelter In Place

So as we enter into day 4 of homebound, we get the notice. The Governor will be ordering to "shelter in place" until further notice. Pretty much you can leave for food, medicine, or doctor visits. Other than that, don't go anywhere if you don't have to. We actually did have to go out, as our dog has Addison's and needs regular injections of a steroid or his kidneys eventually fail and he dies. Other than that, he's the picture of health. He's had Addison's for about 10 years

Look at that face. He's worth it.

We went into town, took care of it, then headed back home. Many places were empty, but the Sam's Club was absolutely jam-packed.

Breakfast was once again a simple affair of toast with butter and Vegemite and a fried egg. The Spud had a toaster strudel. We skipped lunch as we were getting ready to head out for the dog appointment. The daughter had another tray of lunchmeat, fruit and yogurt with a cookie. The Wife had to make a trip to her school for some supplies. While I waited, I got peckish and had a snack:

Sardines in mustard sauce and Ritz crackers. Don't judge me.

The Wife returned home and we had a pretty nice dinner. Corn on the cob, dill bread, pickled dilly beans, and a smoked chicken that one of my student's parents gave me as a gift for rehabilitating his son. This dad does BBQ competitions, so this chicken was crazy good. For dessert, we polished off the rest of the pineapple cake.

Who said teaching is without reward?

There was plenty of chicken left, so I stripped the carcass and stored the meat, and then did what any survivalist would do during the apocalypse: I boiled the carcass to make stock, which I will freeze for later use. 

Celery seed, onion salt, pepper were added.
Bear Grylls can bite me.

So now we head into the weekend and a serious lockdown. I'm looking to download Tabletop Simulator and finding some people willing to do the same, so I can play games with people. I'm also looking at setting up an RPG group to play online.

Stay safe!

Not Exactly Shakshuka

So here we sit, stuck at home for at least another 14 days due to global pandemic. What better time than to go through my notes and put up all the recipes I never got around to posting! This here is a spin on the classic shakshuka. However, I've left out the eggs, added chicken, spinach, paneer, and a bunch of Indian spices. So it's Not Exactly Shakshuka any more. However, it is warm and filling and pretty easy to make. It's also versatile. It is easily modified for vegetarian or vegan diets. As always, notes are in blue. There is a link to the YouTube video of this recipe at the bottom.

Shakshuka with Chicken and Paneer

Ingredients

• 3 tablespoon olive oil
• 1 teaspoon brown mustard seed
• 1 teaspoon grated ginger
• 4 cloves garlic, finely chopped
• 1 medium onion, chopped
• 2 quarts canned tomatoes (with liquid)
• 2 tablespoons chili powder
• 2 teaspoon ground cumin
• 2 dried cayenne peppers
• 1/4 - 1/2 teaspoon ground cayenne
• 1 teaspoon garam masala
• 1 tablespoon dried cilantro
• 10 ounces frozen spinach (no need to unthaw)
• 1 pound boneless, skinless chicken (we used breast tenders, thighs would work well. Or leave it out if you want to go vegetarian)
• 1 pound paneer cheese (or other firm, white, cheese if you can't find paneer. Or leave out the cheese and chicken and now this is vegan!)

Directions

1. Heat oil in a large pot over medium high heat (we used our trusty 6 quart dutch oven)
2. Add mustard seed, heat until seeds begin to pop
3. Add ginger, garlic, and onion. Reduce heat to medium and sautee for 5-7 minutes or until onions start to brown.
4. Add tomatoes with liquid, chili powder, cumin, cayenne, garam masala, and cilantro. Stir a simmer for a couple minutes.
5. Add the spinach. (if you threw it in frozen, give it a few minutes to unfreeze and everything to come back up to a simmer. If the spinach is already thawed, go on to the next step.)
6. Add chicken. Simmer for about 15-20 minutes.
7. Add cheese. Simmer another 5-7 minutes. 

Good times!

Kitchen Sink Curry

Summer has been kind to our garden this year. We find ourselves overloaded with all sorts of veggies, particularly zucchini. There's only so many zucchini boats and so much zucchini bread you can eat. I decided to steal from a bunch of different curry recipes and put together something of my very own. This is more than likely wholly inauthentic curry, so I will refer to it in the "Central Illinois Style." I guess that means you have to serve it with Natural Light and Fireball. In any event, it makes a tasty curry with only a moderate heat. It hits quick and then backs off. You can certainly add more chiles if you desire. Served over rice, it's a hearty meal. It is also versatile. You can easily leave out the chicken and you have a vegetarian meal. It also is gluten free, if that's a concern. As always, notes are in blue.

Kitchen Sink Curry

Ingredients

• 1/3 cup oil (vegetable, grapeseed or something with a higher smokepoint)
• 1 lb. boneless, skinless chicken thighs, cubed
• 3 large potatoes, cubed
• 1 large red onion, sliced
• 3 lbs. (about 3 good-sized) zucchini, cut into 1/4" disks, then quarter the disks
• 8 cloves garlic, minced
• 1 inch fresh ginger, grated
• 1 green chile, diced
• 2 medium tomatoes, chopped
• 1 can (13.5 oz.) coconut milk
• 1 can (6 oz.) tomato paste
• 1-1/2 teaspoons turmeric
• 2 tablespoons garam masala
• 2 teaspoons hot curry powder (I used the hot curry powder from The Spice House)
• 1/2 teaspoon coriander
• salt, pepper, cayenne to taste (I used about 1 tablespoon of Slap Ya Mama)

Directions

1. Heat oil in large pot (I used a 6 quart enameled Dutch oven)
2. Add garlic, ginger and onion. Cook for about 5 minutes or until onions become translucent.
3. Add chicken. Cook until chicken starts to color.
4. Add potatoes. Cook about 3-5 minutes
5. Add zucchini and chile, Cook about 3 minutes
6. In a bowl, mix coconut milk, tomato paste and all spices. Pour into pot and stir to incorporate all ingredients.
7. Bring to a simmer. Simmer for about 40 minutes or until potatoes are very tender.

Good times!

Slow Cooker Chicken Cacciatore

Summer around here means one thing: It's too damned hot to turn on the oven. Seriously. I can have the house at a comfortable 70 degrees, but if I cook anything in the oven, it shoots right up to 75. This is when the slow-cooker gets dragged out. This recipe came together super fast and is extremely good over pasta or rice. In other news, I somehow managed to lose every photo I had of this recipe. I checked every memory card I had. The pictures are totally gone. I don't know, maybe I was drunk and forgot to actually take the pictures. In any case, enjoy this picture of a chicken shrugging in place of the actual dish. As always, notes are in (blue).

Slow Cooker Chicken Cacciatore

Ingredients

• 2-3 (about 1.5 lb.) boneless, skinless chicken breasts (feel free to use boneless, skinless thighs if you prefer)
• 1 can (14.5oz) diced tomatoes, undrained
• 1 onion, halved and sliced
• 1 red bell pepper, cut into small slice
• 1 can (8oz) sliced mushrooms, drained (you can certainly use fresh if you prefer)
• 2-3 garlic cloves, finely chopped
• 1 teaspoon dried oregano
• 1 teaspoon dried basil
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1/4 teaspoon red pepper flakes

Directions

1. Put chicken in the bottom of slow cooker.
2. Unceremoniously dump everything else on top of chicken
3. Cook on LOW for 6 hours
4. Give everything a good stir before serving.

Good times!

Feta and Spinach Stuffed Chicken Breasts

     Can you really go wrong with the combination of feta and spinach? No, you can't. Don't even try to argue with me because I won't listen. It's a great combo and if you don't like it you are obviously defective. Basically, what I've done is make my version of a fairly ubiquitous recipe. I'm sure there are hundreds of similar recipes floating around the internet. Do you know what separates mine from theirs? Theirs suck. Theirs are not made with love. It is entirely possible that theirs were made by Baby-Eating Fascists. Use my recipe and strike a blow for global peace and understanding. If you're not part of the solution, you're obviously part of the problem. I'll stop now. The recipe is simple and delicious and I promise you'll love it. Unless you don't. And then it's your own fault for listening to me. As always, notes are in blue.

Feta and Spinach
Stuffed Chicken Breasts

Ingredients

• 4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts
• 3 ounces crumbled feta cheese
• 4 ounces room temperature cream cheese (we use Neufchatel)
• 10 ounces frozen spinach, defrosted and all water squeezed out
• 1 cup bread crumbs
• 1-1/2 teaspoons Spice House Greek Town seasoning, divided (if you can't get this spice, a mix of salt, pepper, onion powder, oregano and lemon peel. I have no idea what ratios you'd use, so good luck. Or just order the seasoning)
• 1/2 cup flour
• 1 egg, beaten

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 375F (190C, Gasmark 5).
2. Split the chicken breasts down the length, being careful to not cut completely into two pieces. You're looking to sort of butterfly the chicken.
3. Mix 1 teaspoon of the spice mix in with the flour. 
4. Dredge the chicken in first in the flour mix, then the egg, then finally the bread crumbs.Set on a baking sheet. 
5. In a small bowl, combine cream cheese, spinach, feta and remaining spice mix. Mix well until all ingredients are incorporated. 

   

   You could just take what you have here,
   add some jarred artichokes and you have a hell of an appetizer dip!

6. Fill each piece of chicken with 1/3 cup of the filling.
7. Bake for 35 minutes or until chicken juices run clear.

   

   See? Clear. We're all making it out of this meal alive.

   

   Good Times!

The Most Middle Class Midwest Central Illinois Sandwich Ever

     There are just certain things typical to geographic areas. You go to Texas and you're going to get Tex-Mex. You go to Louisiana and you're going to get Cajun. You go to Maine and you're getting seafood. You know what you get when you head into the Midwest? Central Illinois specifically? You're going to get something with Ranch and bacon on it. The fascination with Ranch out here borders on repulsive. The kids put it on everything. Pizza. Burgers. Nuggets. Fries. If they can dip it in a bowl of Ranch, they're going to. I weep for our species. If somebody could invent deep fried Ranch, they could probably make a fortune selling it at the state fair.
     I figured I should just give in to local custom and make something involving a bunch of Ranch. The result is the following sandwich. I'll tell you this: it was super, hella-good. Crazy good. Like hide the leftovers before we eat them good. I felt guilty for throwing together such an uninspired sandwich, but there was no denying its awesomeness. So, if you're interested in a fair representation of typical Central Illinois food, this is a slightly upgraded form of it. Someday I'll tell you about Horseshoes and how every restaurant here serves them!

The Most Middle Class, Midwest,
Central Illinois Sandwich
Ever

Ingredients

• 2 chicken breasts, butterflied and then split into two pieces each (yielding 4 pieces of chicken)
• Old Taylor Street Cheese Sprinkle from the Spice House (if you don't have access to this mix, it's a mix of Romano cheese powder, salt, garlic powder, scallions, powdered green peppercorns, Italian parsley, basil. Good luck figuring out the exact amounts. Maybe just order it or use your favorite spice blend)
• 4 ounces Swiss cheese, thinly sliced
• 1/2 pound thick cut bacon
• 8 slices thick cut bread (we used the ham and cheese bread we made earlier)
• pack of ranch dressing mix
• 16 ounce container of sour cream (yeah, you'll have leftover. Quit whining and use it the rest for vegetable dip)
• red onion, sliced thin
• iceberg lettuce (feel free to throw some tomato on if you'd like)

Directions

1. Mix ranch dressing packet with sour cream. Put it aside for right now.
2. Sprinkle the chicken breast pieces with the spice mix. 
3. Heat a skillet to medium high. Add the bacon and cook until just beginning to crisp. Set aside the bacon and drain all but the a tablespoon or so of the bacon grease.
4. Put the chicken breasts in the pan and cook 5-7 minutes. Turn the chicken and cook another 5-7 minutes. 
5. During the last minute or so of cooking, lay the cheese on the chicken and put a cover on the pan.
6. While the cheese is melting, spread a thick layer of the ranch sour cream mix on each slice of bread. Pile on the lettuce, onion.
7. Add the chicken and bacon. 
8. Eat the hell out of that sandwich.

Someday I'll learn to slice bread evenly.
Good Times!

Slow Cooker Greek Style Chicken

     I'm going to tell you right now: this is not a pretty looking recipe. Reviewing the photograph, it's actually pretty fucking horrifying. Fortunately, if you can get past the visual, it's really quite a tasty meal. Is it truly authentic Greek? Hell no. It has oregano. I think the whole "Greek" theme falls apart after that. Look, it's tasty and super easy to make. Just look at a picture of something nice while you eat it. As always, notes and changes are in blue.

Slow Cooker Greek Style Chicken
via Fix It and Forget It Lightly

Directions

• 6 medium sized potatoes, quartered
• 3 lbs chicken pieces, skin removed
• 2 large onions, quartered (this is a shit-ton of onions. We went with a single onion, cut into sixths)
• 1 whole bulb garlic, minced
• 1/2 cup water
• 3 teaspoons dried oregano
• 1 tsp salt (omitted, we used 1 teaspoon Spice House Pilsen Seasoning)
• 1 teaspoon black pepper
• 1 tablespoon olive oil

Directions

1. Load potatoes in bottom of slow cooker. Add chicken, onions and garlic.
2. In a small bowl, mix water with oregano and spices.
3. Pour over chicken and drizzle oil over the top.
4. Cook on HIGH for 5-6 hours

Good times!

Slow Cooker Chicken In Rich Tomato Sauce

     Often, while I am perusing my slow-cooker cookbooks, I come across a recipe that sounds interesting. Then I make a bunch of changes and shrug my shoulders at the mediocre results. This time, I was really pleasantly surprised, as was The Wife. The sauce was really rich and had a nice tang. It was really nice over pasta. This was crazy easy to make and was declared a winner. As always, notes and changes are in blue.

Slow Cooker Chicken
in Rich Tomato Sauce
via Slow Cooker Magic in Minutes

Ingredients

• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• 2-1/2 pounds chicken pieces (we used leg and thigh quarters because I found them for 39 cents a pound. What a deal!)
• 8 ounces sliced mushrooms (omitted. I used 1 can (about 3-4 ounces) sliced Kalamata olives, drained
• 1 28 ounce can crushed tomatoes (omitted. I used a 24 ounce can of pasta sauce with mushrooms)
• 1 envelope onion soup mix
• 1/4 cup red wine (omitted. I'm not wasting good booze here. I used 1/4 cup red wine vinegar)
• 1/2 teaspoon dried basil

Directions

1. In a large pan, heat oil over medium-high heat and brown the chicken. (Get that skin nice and crispy since it's going in the slow cooker. Otherwise it's going to get really soft and unpleasant looking. Honestly, you're probably better off just taking the skin off the chicken. I don't even know why people insist on leaving the skin on chicken in the slow cooker. Feel free to just chuck the de-skinned chicken right in the slow cooker.)
2. Mix all the other ingredients up in a big bowl. Pour over the chicken.
3. Cook on HIGH for 5-6 hours. 
4. Serve over rice or pasta. 

Good times!