Chicken and Corn Dip

 Goodness, it's been a while since I've posted anything. I guess I've been busy? Lazy? Probably just lazy. Anyway, a few weeks back I threw together a little using odds and ends. It turned out well and for a change I had actually written everything down and not lost the paper I wrote it on. What a triumph. Long story short this dip is good hot or cold and is highly adjustable. Like it hotter? Add more hot. Don't eat meat? Put in tofu. Don't like cheese? Get away from me with that negativity. Try it and tell me what you think. Unless you don't like it and then I don't want to know. As always, notes are in blue.

Chicken and Corn Dip

Ingredients

• 1 cup creamed corn
• 1 cup diced or shredded fully cooked rotisserie chicken
• 1 cup shredded cheddar cheese (feel free to sub in the cheese of your choice. Pepper jack would probably be pretty good here)
• 8 ounce block cream cheese, softened
• 1 teaspoon dried minced onion (you can certainly use fresh onion if desired. If so, go with 1/2 finely chopped onion)
• 1 teaspoon garlic powder
• 1 teaspoon dry cilantro (if you're one of those people who think it tastes like soap, sub with parsley or basil)
• 1 teaspoon hot sauce of choice
• 1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes
• 1/2 teaspoon smoked paprika
• Salt and pepper to taste

Directions

1. In a medium pan, over medium heat, dump in everything and mix the shit out of it. Stop when the cheese is melted through and the cream cheese is smooth (not counting lumps from the other ingredients, those are fine)
2. Taste and adjust seasoning as needed/desired. Serve hot or cold with crackers or chips, or just scoop it out with your hands like an absolute fucking savage. 

Good Times!

Magic Healing Soup*

 Sometimes, you get sick. If you're me, you get sick 2-3 times during the school year. This year, I got Covid AND an ear infection at the same time, which was all sorts of exciting. One of the good things that did come of it, is one of the people who follows my page (for whatever reason) suggested a base soup recipe. It didn't have specific measurements, so I just sort of followed ingredients and used amounts I felt were appropriate. Then I added a couple of extras because that's what you do with online recipes. You make fundamental changes to them without trying the original recipe, then bitch about how it turned out. (I SUBSTITUTED CIGARETTE BUTTS FOR THE SMOKED SAUSAGE AND  IT CAME OUT AWFUL. ZERO STARS). Anyways, this soup cleared our sinuses in short order and was good enough that we made a second batch the next day. We could not deny we felt much better after eating this soup. Even The Spud cleared her bowl. Give it a try and see what you think. If you hated it, blame the person who suggested this type of soup in the first place. I am an innocent victim. As always, notes are in blue. 

Magic Healing Soup*
(please see disclaimer in above photo)

Ingredients

• 2 lbs chicken (use light or dark meat as preferred. We used breasts since it was what was on hand)
• 2 quarts chicken stock
• 2 potatoes, cut into 1/2" cube OR 1 can (16 oz) Black beans, rinsed and drained (or use both, nobody is looking)
• 1 yellow onion, chopped
• 1 zucchini, chopped
• 7-150 cloves of garlic, chopped. (There is no upper limit to garlic here. We are trying to heal, or at the very least keep vampires at bay.)
• 2 cups prepared salsa (Hot is good. Let's get those sinuses cleared!)
• 1 cup corn (canned or frozen is fine)
• olive oil
• 1/2 teaspoon ground coriander
• 1/2 teaspoon cumin powder
• 1 heaping teaspoon chipotle in adobo
• 1 packed Sazon for soups
• splash of lime juice (around a tablespoon)
• salt and pepper to taste
• Nacho chips for garnish (optional)
• Chili crisp for garnish (optional, but only if you're a big baby)

Directions

1. In a large pan, on medium high heat, add 3 tablespoons of oil and the onion, zucchini, and garlic. Sautee for 5-7 minutes until the veggies are translucent and starting to brown a bit. Turn off heat and set aside.
2. In a large (4-6 quart) slow cooker, put in potatoes (and/or beans), salsa, corn, and chicken.
3. Add the coriander, cumin, chipotle, Sazon, and salt and pepper over the chicken.
4. Add the sautéed veggie mixture to the slow cooker. 
5. Add the stock and lime juice. 
6. Cook on HIGH for 4-1/2 hours.
7. Remove chicken from cooker, shred (the chicken. I'm not looking for a guitar solo), then return the chicken to the slow cooker. 
8. Serve with tortilla chips to either eat on the side, or crumble into the soup. (We crumbled lime tortilla chips in and loved it). 
9. Throw a little chili crisp on top because chili crisp.

Good Times!

Renaissance Faire Garlic Mushrooms

 Back in the day, The Wife and I used to visit the Bristol Renaissance Faire in Wisconsin annually. Life has since gotten in the way. We moved a few hours away and have not made it back in over 15 years. We would go in costume and everything. One of The Wife's favorite treats there was garlic stewed mushrooms. I am not a fan of mushrooms, but she adored these. I have on and off attempted to approximate those mushrooms and this is the closest I've gotten. This does have a lot of liquid in it, so you could probably double off the mushrooms and onions and still be fine. Alternatively, have a good piece of crusty bread on hand and just dip in in the liquid. Either way, it's a fast and easy recipe for mushroom lovers. Just have a mint handy when you're done because these will give you breath that can slay a thousand elves.

Renaissance Faire Garlic Mushrooms

Ingredients

• 8 ounces mushrooms, sliced thick (or leave them whole if you really want. That's how they were at the faire)
• 1/2 large onion, chopped
• 6 cloves garlic, chopped
• 1 stick butter
• 1 cup beef stock (or vegetable stock if you don't do meat)
• 1/2 teaspoon smoked Cherrywood salt (in the event you can't find this, just throw in 1/2 teaspoon of salt and a few dashes of Liquid Smoke)
• 1/2 teaspoon garlic pepper
• 1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
• 1 teaspoon cornstarch slurry (1/2 teaspoon corn starch, 1/2 teaspoon water, mixed)

Directions

1. In a medium saucepan, over medium heat, melt the butter. 
2. Add the onions and garlic and cook, stirring occasionally until the onions are translucent. 
3. Add the mushrooms, cook 2-3 minutes.
4. Add the stock, salt, garlic pepper, and Worcestershire sauce.
5. Bring to a simmer and let simmer for 5-7 minutes. 
6. Remove from the heat and mix in the slurry. 

Good Times!

One Pan Chicken and Rice

Certain recipes evoke core childhood memories. This is certainly one of them. Chicken and rice in a pan with some random veggies and pasta sauce. My mom used to make this regularly. She had no real printed recipe for it. Things just got thrown in a pan and heat was applied. Often, some of the rice would be crunchy and underdone. Other sections of the rice would be big clumps. However, it tasted good and was filling. The green olives were an odd addition, but they added a nice bit of zing to the flavor. 

Core Childhood Memory

It this gourmet? No, not at all. I use canned sauce here. I almost never used canned sauce. Everything in this recipe was about getting a meal together and on the table as quickly and easily as possible. This is comfort food, plain and simple. As always, notes are in blue.

One Pan Chicken and Rice

Ingredients

• 4 chicken breasts, about 2 lbs. (bone in or out, it doesn't really matter. You can even use thighs if you prefer. In any case, make sure they are skinless)
• 2 cups white rice
• 3 cups water or chicken stock
• 1 onion, cut into about 1" pieces
• 1 bell pepper, cut into about 1" pieces
• 1 can mushrooms (6.5oz), drained.
• 1/2 cup green olives
• 1 can (24 oz) pasta sauce (we used Hunt's Garlic & Herb)
• 2 teaspoons garlic powder
• 2 teaspoons dried Italian seasoning.
• Grated parmesan cheese

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 375F (190C, Gas Mark 5)
2. In a 9x13 baking dish add the rice and water/stock
3. Lay the chicken on top of the rice. 
4. Sprinkle the garlic and Italian seasoning over the chicken.
5. Distribute the vegetables around the pan. 
6. Pour the pasta sauce over the top of everything.
7. Cook uncovered for about 1 hour, or until the chicken and rice are both done. (a little bit of charring on the veggies is normal)
8. Garnish with parmesan cheese.

Everything benefits from a bit of cheese.
Good Times!

Slow Cooker Chicken and Potatoes in Garlic Cream Sauce

I have a love/hate relationship with my slow cooker. I love the convenience of being able to just set and forget a meal. I hate the fact that much of what comes out of it tastes much like anything else that comes out of it, and the fact that much of what comes out is not visually appealing. Did that make sense? Probably not. In any case, it seems I can get a slow cooker dish to TASTE good, but not to LOOK good. This one is no exception. It also requires a little stovetop work as well, which is usually a deal breaker for me. I just didn't think throwing raw onion would work here, though. That said, this dish smelled AMAZING and tasted really good. If it's not garlicky enough, throw some garlic powder in there. Go nuts. This is a pretty forgiving recipe. Some of you nicer people said it looked fine, but to me it looks like it was shaken out of a diaper.  And with that ringing endorsement, enjoy. As always, notes are in (blue.)

Slow Cooker Chicken and Potatoes
in Garlic Cream Sauce

Ingredients

• 6 potatoes (about 2 pounds), cleaned and quartered. (use whatever potatoes you want. We went with plain old russets. If you want to peel them, feel free. We generally don't.)
• 2 lbs boneless, skinless chicken breasts
• 1 can (14.5 ounce) cream of broccoli soup
• 1 envelope (1.2 ounce) Herb/Garlic soup mix
• 1 block (8 ounce) cream cheese, softened (we use neufchatel to keep the fat down)
• 1 onion, finely chopped
• 1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
• 1 teaspoon hot sauce of choice (or red pepper flakes. Or nothing if you're a big baby.)
• Olive oil
• Smoked paprika
• Salt and pepper

Directions

1. In a pan, heat a couple tablespoons of olive oil to medium-high heat. Add the onions and cook until they turn golden.
2. In a bowl, add the onions, cream cheese, soup, soup mix, Worcestershire and hot sauces. Whisk until the cream cheese is completely incorporated. 
3. Rub the chicken with some paprika and salt and pepper. 
4. In a 5 quart slow cooker, put in the potatoes first. Then lay the chicken breasts on top of that. Pour the sauce over the chicken.
5. Cook on HIGH for about 4-1/2 hours. If you do LOW, probably go with 7-8 hours.
6. Keep an eye on it. You're wanting the potatoes to be done and the chicken cooked through. If it looks like it's starting to dry out at the halfway point, add a splash of water (or chicken stock, or even dry white wine if you're feeling rowdy.)
7. Give everything a gentle stir at the end to make sure the sauce is covering everything before serving.

Good Times!

Slow Cooker Chicken and Potatoes in Pasta Sauce

 

Oh boy. Only 54 more wake ups until Summer Vacation. The Burn Out is real. Clearly based on the stellar content I've been posting (i.e. memes and various shitposting), I'm not finding much time or inclination to cook. Going without an oven for five weeks didn't help. We've leaned hard into the slow cooker. The upshot is we came up with a gem. You could eat this by itself as a stew, or over rice or pasta. It uses nothing but staple kitchen items so it won't be hard to put together (especially if you just use jarred pasta sauce) and isn't expensive. It is certainly filling and tasty. The Wife describes it as "kind of like cacciatore," which seems like a fair assessment.  Give it a try and let me know what you think. As always, notes are in blue. 

Slow Cooker Chicken and Potatoes in Pasta Sauce

Ingredients

• 4 medium potatoes, cut into 1" cubes (Peel them if you want. We generally don't)
• 1 medium onion, chopped
• 1 bell pepper, chopped (Pick whatever color you like. The Wife doesn't really like green peppers, so we used red bell peppers here)
• 4 cloves garlic, chopped
• 1 lb chicken (Another choice! Thighs or breasts? We went with breasts because we had more on hand and I like to save the thighs for any pressure cooking)
• 2-1/2 cups of pasta sauce. (I highly recommend this recipe for pasta sauce, but feel free to use your own, or even bust open a jar of store bought. I won't judge you.)
• 1 teaspoon dry oregano
• 1 teaspoon dry basil
• salt to taste

Directions

1. In a slow cooker (a 4-5 quart cooker will work), layer all the ingredients in order of appearance.
2. Cook on LOW for 6 hours. 
3. Shred the chicken with a fork.
4. Give everything a stir before serving.

Good Times!

Salmon and Penne in Garlic Pesto Sauce

 There's some good recipes floating out there, if you're willing to suffer through pages of scrolling. Alternately, just find the "jump to recipe" button. While looking for inspiration for dinner, I happened across a recipe from Salt & Lavender for a salmon pasta in garlic sauce. It looked good. I decided to make it and like any good online cook, I immediately made changes without trying the original recipe. Mostly I wanted to use a jar of pesto that I've had since 2014. I also wanted way more garlic than the recipe called for. I'm sure their recipe is wonderful, and I'm sure mine is as well. Feel free to try it! I don't necessarily endorse using eight year old pesto, though.

Salmon and Penne in Garlic Pesto Sauce

Ingredients

• 1 pound penne
• 1 pound salmon fillets
• 3 tablespoons butter
• 2 tablespoons flour
• 1 tablespoon garlic powder
• 1 cup chicken/vegetable stock (water will do in a pinch, but you'll lose some richness in the sauce.)
• 2 cups heavy cream
• 2 tablespoon lemon juice
• 1 cup grated parmesan cheese (I used the stuff from the container. I never have fresh on hand.)
• 1/2 cup jarred pesto (I used a walnut/oregano pesto I made back in 2014. Miraculously, we did not die.)

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 375F (190C, Gas Mark 5)
2. According to directions on pasta box, cook penne until al dente. Drain and set aside
3. Pat salmon dry with paper towels, then season with salt and pepper on both sides (the salmon, not the paper towels)
4. Put salmon on baking sheet and cook in oven about 10-12 minutes, or until fish starts to get flaky. 
5. While fish is cooking, heat butter in a large pan/pot (I used a 5 quart enameled Dutch oven and needed every last bit of it) When the butter has melted and starts to bubble, add flour and mix to form a roux. Stir constantly until the roux starts to darken.
6. Add the garlic powder and keep stirring.
7. Add the stock and lemon juice. Then stir in the cream. Finally add the pesto and Parmesan. Stir until completely incorporated and just starting to bubble. 
8. Crumble the salmon in to the sauce and add the penne. Mix everything thoroughly. 

Good Times!

Cucumber-Jalapeno Hot Sauce

 Holy shit did the garden throw a lot of cucumbers at us. There's only so many cucumber sandwiches, or tomato/cucumber/onion salad you can eat. I decided to use the vast surplus along with the bumper crop of jalapenos were also blessed with. The end result was a rock-solid hot sauce. It starts with an unmistakable cucumber flavor. Then the heat builds quickly but then levels off with a nice sweet finish. This would be great with fish or chicken. Or, as The Wife prefers, unceremoniously shoveled into her gob with Aldi Lime Nacho Chips. To each their own. This recipe will yield about 2-1/2 pints of sauce. 

Cucumber-Jalapeno Hot Sauce
aka Green Meanie

Ingredients

• 2 decent sized cucumbers, peeled, seeded, and chopped
• 12 jalapenos, chopped (I suppose if you're a HUGE BABY you could seed them to cut down on the heat, but then why are you even looking at a hot sauce recipe?)
• 1 medium onion, chopped
• 1/4 cup lime juice
• 3/4 cup water
• 2 cups white wine vinegar
• 1 tablespoon dry cilantro
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 tablespoon garlic powder
• 1 teaspoon amchoor (dried mango) powder

Directions

1. In a medium pot, combine all ingredients. Bring to a boil. Reduce to a simmer for about 10 minutes.
2. Pour mixture into a blender or use an immersion blender to blend until as smooth as possible.
3. Feel free to strain the sauce if you want something closer to a liquid-only hot sauce, or leave it as-is for something closer to a thin salsa.
4. If you plan on canning this sauce, we went with 5 half pint jars, 1/4" headspace, and 12 minutes in the boiling water bath. As always please go to the National Center for Home Food Preservation and brush up on canning so you don't accidentally kill anyone.

Good times!

Radish and Turnips with Spicy Greens

 Summer is in full swing and we have a garden bigger than is reasonable. We filled in a 20'x40' in-ground pool and converted it into a vegetable garden. We'll post up some pictures soon. It's pretty inspiring. This year we are growing things we have not tried before. For instance, turnips and radishes. We took our first tentative harvest of them and set about figuring out what to do with them.

Not particularly inspiring, but there you have it.

We figured turnip and radish greens were edible, so we just figured we'd just sauté up the lot of them. Garlic seemed like it would work with the flavors of these veggies. The horseradish was a last minute inspiration. The recipe came together quickly and cooks easily. It makes enough for two. Is it good? I guess that largely depends on your palate. It is definitely spicy. The Wife said she enjoyed it quite a bit. I thought it was OK, but that's pretty how our recipe assessments usually go. In the end, I'd say it's worth a try. It would certainly pair with barbecue or Cajun food. Give it a try and tell me what you think. I'll ignore anything critical. As always, notes are in blue.

Radishes and Turnips with Spicy Greens

Ingredients

• 6 radishes, thinly sliced
• 4 small turnips, thinly sliced
• Greens from the radishes and turnips, stems removed and greens cut into 1" ribbons
• 6 cloves garlic, chopped
• 1 tablespoon prepared white horseradish
• 2 tablespoons olive oil (we actually used bacon grease, but olive oil keeps this vegetarian)
• Salt and pepper

Directions

1. In a large pan or wok, heat the oil/grease over medium heat.
2. Add the garlic and sauté for 2-3 minutes, not letting the garlic get brown
3. Add the radishes and turnip and sauté for 5-7 minutes, until they become just a little tender
4. Add the horseradish and greens, and sauté until the horseradish is incorporated and the greens have wilted.
5. Salt and pepper to taste 

Good Times!

Stir Fry Pork Steak and Green Beans

So we're still desperately trying to work through last year's produce to make sure we have room for the new stuff from the garden. In this case, we needed to use up some surplus green beans. We had a couple nice pork steaks in the freezer that worked perfectly.  I can't promise you'll have all these ingredients on hand. Black bean garlic paste and hoisin sauce are not something every home keeps in stock. If you don't have those, you can probably get away with teriyaki sauce, or a molasses based barbecue sauce. Or just drown it in Sriracha, which is never wrong. This ended up being a very tasty and fairly quick meal. Over rice, it was filling and a fair substitute for ordering out Chinese food for dinner.  As always, notes are in blue.

Stir Fry Pork Steak and Green Beans

Ingredients

• 3 tablespoons sesame oil (in a pinch, vegetable oil would work, but you'll lose the wonderful flavor you get from the sesame oil)
• 1.5 lbs. pork steak, cut into 1/2" wide strips
• .5 lbs. green beans, cut into 3" pieces
• 1/2 onion, chopped
• 4 cloves garlic, minced
• 1/4 cup soy sauce (we used reduced sodium. Otherwise I blow up like a balloon.)
• 2 tablespoons brown sugar
• 1/4 teaspoon red pepper flakes
• 1 tablespoon black bean garlic paste
• 1 tablespoon hoisin sauce
• 1-1/2 tablespoons corn starch
• 1-1/2 tablespoons cold water
• Cooked white rice, for serving

Directions

1. In a wok (or whatever large pan you have) heat oil over medium heat. 
2. Add garlic and onion. Stir fry for 3-4 minutes or until the onion starts to get tender. Do not let the garlic burn.
3. Add the pork and stir fry for another 5 minutes or so, or until the pork is not longer visibly pink.
4. While the pork is cooking, in a bowl, mix the soy sauce, brown sugar, pepper, black bean paste, and hoisin sauce. 
5. Add the green beans to the wok, along with the sauce mix. Toss to coat evenly. Cover and cook on medium for 5-6 more minutes. There will be a fair amount of liquid in the pan. This is fine.
6. While everything is cooking, in a small cup, mix the corn starch and water. 
7. Take the lid off the wok (I feel I have to emphasize taking the lid off or some smartass will just pour the cornstarch over the lid) and add the corn starch mixture. Stir contents of the pot until sauce thickens. Turn off the heat.
8. Serve over rice. (I imagine this would be good over rice noodles as well. Or even without rice.)

Good times!

Mexican Style Lasagna

I can't believe that we're still cooking meals this far into the stay at home order. I figure at some point we would have devolved into an endless parade of frozen pizzas, ramen, and mac & cheese. And yet here we are! We're even modifying book recipes! Go us! This particular recipe originally called for lasagna noodles, which we thought was dumb. Also, we didn't have enough lasagna noodles and I didn't feel like making them from scratch. We swapped in and out a bunch of ingredients. If you don't have sofrito laying about, or can't make it from scratch, just use a pack of taco seasoning or some chili powder. Go wild. It's all gonna be poop in the end. I was surprised at how much I enjoyed this. It had a lot of flavor and was very filling. It's currently sitting in my stomach like a brick. Mocking me. TWAS HUBRIS THAT BROUGHT ME HERE. Sorry, I'll go.

Mexican Style Lasagna

Ingredients

• 1 pound ground beef
• 1 16oz. can refried beans
• 1/4 cup sofrito
• 1 tablespoon dried, minced onion
• 1 teaspoon ground cumin
• 1 teaspoon garlic powder
• 1 teaspoon oregano
• 12 corn tortillas (6" diameter)
• 1 16oz. jar of your favorite salsa
• 16 ounces sour cream
• 3 ounces (about half a can) of black olives, sliced
• 1 cup shredded cheddar cheese

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350F (177C, Gasmark 4)
2. In a skillet, brown ground beef. 
3. Drain the beef and add the minced onion, cumin, garlic powder, oregano, and sofrito. Cook another 3-4 minutes.
4. Add the refried beans to the meat and mix until completely incorporated.
5. Grease a 9"x13" baking dish. Add a layer of 6 corn tortillas. (We discovered if you cut the tortillas in half, you can put the flat edges against the edges of the pan and make a uniform layer.)
6. Take half the meat mixture and spread it evenly over the layer of tortillas
7. Add another layer of tortillas and top it with the rest of the meat mixture.
8. Top with the salsa and cook at 350F for 35 minutes.
9. Take out of oven and add a layer of sour cream. Then top with cheese and olives.

Good Times!

Desperation Casserole

Desperate times call for desperate measures. We were running out of space in our freezer and needed to use up some surplus to make room for all the produce we were vacuum bagging and freezing out of our garden. I'm sure there's plenty of flexibility with this recipe. You can easily swap just about any meat in for the sausages, or leave the meat out and add zucchini or eggplant and make it vegetarian. We considered adding cheese to this, but just couldn't think of any that would work so we just left it alone. The verdict from The Wife: "this is better than it has any right to be." If that's not a ringing endorsement, I don't know what is.

Desperation Casserole

Ingredients

• 1 package Johnsonville Irish O'Garlic sausages (or probably any sausage you prefer)
• 1 lb frozen cubed hash brown potatoes
• 8 ounces kale (washed and dried)
• 1 cup frozen peas
• 1 can cream of mushroom soup
• 1 tablespoon garlic powder
• 1 tablespoon dried minced onion
• 2 teaspoons Slap Ya' Mama seasoning (or use salt, black pepper, and cayenne)

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 375F (191C, Gas Mark 5)
2. Cut sausages into 1" pieces. Cook in a pan until browned.
3. In a large bowl, tear up the kale into small pieces. Add the sausage (and grease) to the bowl. Give a quick toss to get the kale to start to wilt.
4. Add all the remaining ingredients and toss. 
5. Put in a greased Pyrex. Put in oven for 30 minutes or until potatoes start to get crisp at the edges.

Good Times!

Slow Cooker Chicken Cacciatore

Summer around here means one thing: It's too damned hot to turn on the oven. Seriously. I can have the house at a comfortable 70 degrees, but if I cook anything in the oven, it shoots right up to 75. This is when the slow-cooker gets dragged out. This recipe came together super fast and is extremely good over pasta or rice. In other news, I somehow managed to lose every photo I had of this recipe. I checked every memory card I had. The pictures are totally gone. I don't know, maybe I was drunk and forgot to actually take the pictures. In any case, enjoy this picture of a chicken shrugging in place of the actual dish. As always, notes are in (blue).

Slow Cooker Chicken Cacciatore

Ingredients

• 2-3 (about 1.5 lb.) boneless, skinless chicken breasts (feel free to use boneless, skinless thighs if you prefer)
• 1 can (14.5oz) diced tomatoes, undrained
• 1 onion, halved and sliced
• 1 red bell pepper, cut into small slice
• 1 can (8oz) sliced mushrooms, drained (you can certainly use fresh if you prefer)
• 2-3 garlic cloves, finely chopped
• 1 teaspoon dried oregano
• 1 teaspoon dried basil
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1/4 teaspoon red pepper flakes

Directions

1. Put chicken in the bottom of slow cooker.
2. Unceremoniously dump everything else on top of chicken
3. Cook on LOW for 6 hours
4. Give everything a good stir before serving.

Good times!

Foil Packet Lime Tilapia

Sometimes I get inspired to cook, but not to spend a bunch of time cooking. This leads to interesting choices. This particular choice let me to take an old standard of foil pack fish (basically en papillote) but make my own sauce for it. The end result was good news / bad news. The good news was the recipe worked and was fast, simple, and tasty. The bad news is that it looks like absolute hell. I don't know. Close your eyes when you eat it or something.

Foil Packet Lime Tilapia

Ingredients

• 3 tilapia filets (about 4-6 ounces each)
• 1/2 cup sour cream
• 1-1/2 teaspoons garlic powder
• 1 tablespoon Ponzu sauce
• 1-1/2 tablespoons lime juice
• 3 large chive, chopped
• 1/4 teaspoon red pepper flakes
• 1/2 pound frozen broccoli
• 3 Key Limes, quartered

Directions

1. Preheat the oven to 375F (190C, Gasmark 5)
2. In a bowl, combine the sour cream, garlic powder, Ponzu, lime juice, red pepper, and chive. Stir to incorporate all the ingredients.
3. Cut 3 sheets of aluminum foil into about 8-10" squares. Lay a piece of tilapia in each square.
4. Figure out some way to turn the foil into an envelope of some description. You can always watch the video (at the bottom of this post) to see the highly technical method I use.
5. Divide the broccoli between the 3 packets. Place the packets on a baking sheet.
6. Pour the sour cream mix evenly into each packet. Seal the packet.
7. Bake for 25 minutes. 

BONUS VIDEO CONTENT!

Good Times!

Too Damned Easy Sausage and Peppers

Man, oh, man does life get in the way. It has been way too long since I've updated my blog. Why? The Spud. The Job. Sinus infections. All the random stuff that stops me from making anything other than the occasional post. So my plan is to dig through all my drafts for blog posts and get them  up, even if it means I don't have all the photos. Take this recipe for instance. This sausage and pepper recipe is a regular feature in our house and yet the only photo I have is of the ingredients. I assure you that they will combine nicely and make a great entree or an exceptional topper for pasta. It's basically a 30 minute recipe and is great for a nice mid-week meal.

Too Damned Easy Sausage & Peppers

Ingredients

• 4 bell peppers, cut into half-inch strips (we used red and orange, but feel free to use green or whatever color you want)
• 1 medium yellow onion, sliced
• 1 pound Italian sausages, cased (sweet, mild, or hot depending on your taste)
• 1 24-ounce can of pasta sauce 
• 4 ounces of mushrooms, sliced (feel free to use canned, since we're keeping it simple)
• 2 cloves garlic, minced (just go ahead and use a couple tablespoons of jarred. At this point we're not really looking for Michelin Stars)
• 3 tablespoons olive oil

Directions

1. Heat olive oil in a large pan.
2. Add the sausages for 5-7 minutes, turning occasionally, until browned. Remove sausages and put them somewhere safe from marauding spouses and animals.
3. Add garlic, peppers, and onions and sautee over medium heat 3-5 minutes, or until veggies start to get tender.
4. Add mushrooms and sautee another 2 minutes or so. 
5. Slice the sausages and add them back to the pan. 
6. Pour in the pasta sauce and bring to a simmer. Simmer for 5-7 minutes.

Good Times!

Steamed Pollock in Black Bean Sauce

     So here we are with my SECOND post of 2017! I have tried to make up the difference with my YouTube channel, but sometimes people just want printed recipes. This makes no sense to me as I am a beautiful, beautiful man and am worthy of consideration by all the people of Earth. Anyways, here we are. I've been super busy with The Spud and all sorts of home improvements (bathroom remodel, replacement of our back patio door, fence installation, yard and garden work, reorganizing rooms to maximize space). I have let the blog slip and I apologize.
     This particular recipe makes use of a bamboo steamer basket. If you don't have one, a steamer rack or some other form of rigged up steam system should work fine. I had some pollock I needed to use up and went to my trusty copy of The Thousand Recipe Chinese Cookbook and tinkered with a recipe. The end result surprised myself and The Wife. This made a really delicious sauce and a wonderful meal. The fish turned out nice and flaky. We served it up with some steamed sesame buns I got from the local world market. You could also use steamed pork buns and they would be great. This was super easy to put together. You could pretty much use any sauce you'd like with the fish, but I recommend giving this one a try for something a little different. As always, notes are in blue.

Steamed Pollock in Black Bean Sauce

Ingredients

• 1 pound pollock (or other whitefish) 3-4 fillets
• 1 tablespoon garlic black bean paste (available in the Asian section of most supermarkets)
• 2 tablespoons soy sauce
• 1/2 teaspoon sugar
• 1 teaspoon sesame oil
• 1/2 inch ginger, finely grated
• 2 scallions, chopped

Directions

1. Dry the fish with a paper towel
2. Lightly rub the fish with a bit of salt and pepper
3. In a bowl, mix all the ingredients that are not the fish
4. Line a steamer basket with parchment paper, making sure it goes up the sides to prevent spillage
5. Lay the fish in the steamer basket and pour over the mixture from the bowl
6. Steam for about 30 minutes or until fish flakes easily with a fork
7. Serve fish and top with sauce 

Good Times!

Spaghetti with Oil and Bacon Jam

First off, let me say I'm sorry. It's been almost four months since my last post. I know I've managed a YouTube video, some FaceBook content and a couple live streams, but nothing of real value. Granted, you could still make that claim when I posted a lot. Regardless, as I've mentioned before, it seems that parenting takes up quite a bit of time. However, I have had the occasional moment of inspiration. A couple of friends of ours regularly come by for dinner and games. They are the epitome of gracious guests. We have never asked it of them, but they always arrive with some assortment of food related gifts for us. Recently it was a jar of Trader Joe's Uncured Bacon Jam. It is exactly what it sounds like. It is a sweet bacon spread. We've had it on toast and it was pretty good. Desperate to use up some leftover spaghetti, it became a key ingredient in a new and amazing recipe. Mind you, if you don't have access to this jam, I'm not sure what you're going to do. I have no idea how to replicate it. Best of luck. As always, notes are in blue.

Spaghetti with Oil and Bacon Jam
(Recipe makes 2 servings, or one if you're a fat bastard like me)

Ingredients

• 8 ounces spaghetti
• 3 tablespoons butter
• 2 tablespoons olive oil (use as many virgins as you'd like)
• 3 tablespoons bacon jam
• 1-1/2 teaspoons garlic powder
• 1 tablespoon dried, minced onion
• 1/2 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes (add a little more if you'd like a bit more kick)
• 1/3 cup grated Parmesan cheese

Directions

1. Cook pasta until aldente. Set aside to drain.
2. In a large pan, on medium-high head, melt butter and add olive oil. 
3. Add the onion and stir for a minute or two.
4. Add the bacon jam. Stir until jam breaks down into the butter/oil mix.
5. Add the garlic powder and pepper flakes.
6. Add the pasta back to the pan. Toss until the pasta is totally coated with the sauce.
7. Add the cheese and toss again.
8. (If you feel the dish could use some color, feel free to toss in some chopped parsley)

Good times!

Stir-Fried Beef With Green Onion and Broccoli

     Stir-fry has to be one of my favorite methods of cooking. It's generally fast and easy. You really have to totally walk away from the pan for an extended period of time to mess it up. This particular recipe came about as many of my recipes do: a way to use up produce before it goes off. We had a few gigantic scallions the Mother-In-Law gave us and some broccoli not long for this world. Fortunately, I've taken to keeping at least a pound of stew beef in the freezer, so it worked out great. The flavor was mellow and satisfying. You may notice I let "fast and easy" and "mellow and satisfying" without making any sort of obvious snide "like I like my women" comment. That's because I like my women like I like my coffee. Bitter. And with a cheese Danish. As always, notes are in blue.

Stir-Fried Beef with
Scallions and Broccoli

Ingredients

• 1 pound beef stew meat
• 4 scallions, cut into 1/4" pieces (you can use some of the green part if you like. We do.)
• 2 cups fresh broccoli, cut into smallish pieces (frozen will work in a pinch. Just defrost it first)
• 1 clove garlic, minced
• 2 tablespoons soy sauce (we use low sodium)
• 2 tablespoons red wine vinegar
• 2 tablespoons vegetable oil
• 2 teaspoons Sriracha (optional. I mean, if you hate flavor and happiness, you can certainly leave it out. To each their own.)
• sesame oil

Directions

1. Cut each piece of stew meat into one or two smaller pieces. 
2. In a bowl, add meat, scallions, broccoli, soy sauce and vinegar. Toss to coat. Let marinate for about 30 minutes. Toss occasionally to make sure everything is coated.
3. Heat oil in a large pan (a wok would be perfect here if you have one. If you don't, maybe you could run out and buy one! Be adventurous! Take a wok on the wild side! Sorry.) Add garlic and cook for less than a minute. Add beef and veggies and stir-fry 7-10 minutes or until the meat is done and the veggies still have a little bit of snap. Add a few drops of sesame oil toward the end of the cooking.
4. Serve over white rice or noodles.

Good Times!

Sweet and Tangy Crabuluxe Pasta Salad

     I do so enjoy a good pasta salad. I also enjoy Crabuluxe, so obviously my tastes can't be a reliable source of information. For those of you who have yet to hear me speak of Crabuluxe, it is the faux-product name I tag on any form of imitation crab meat. It runs about $2.50 per pound and is useful in all sorts of recipes (such as Zesty Crabuluxe Cold Pasta Salad; Crab and Spinach Enchiladas, or Stir-Fried Broccoli with Crabuluxe). I suppose if you're made of money and regularly wipe your ass with $100 bills you could go ahead and use real crab meat. Anyways, we whipped this little number up using a mango-chipotle vinaigrette we picked up at ALDI. We had it warm the day we made it, then ate it cold the next day. We felt cold was the better way to serve it. Do what you want as far as serving temperature. Nobody listens to me anyways. As always, notes are in blue.

Sweet and Tangy Crabuluxe Pasta Salad

Ingredients

• 1 pound medium shells pasta
• 1 pound Crabuluxe, cut into bite sized pieces
• 1 medium sweet onion, chopped
• 3 medium tomatoes, chopped
• 8 ounces mozzarella cheese, cut into 1/4" cubes
• 1-1/4 cup mango chipotle vinaigrette (ALDI carries it. If you don't have access to ALDI, I imagine most larger grocery stores carry something similar)
• 1 teaspoon garlic powder
• 1 teaspoon ponzu sauce (it's a citrus based sauce. If you don't have it in your kitchen, stop reading this and go get a bottle. You can thank me later)
• 2 teaspoons Sriracha (optional for babies and the chronically lame)

Directions

1. Cook pasta until al dente (nice guy, Al. I wonder what he's up to these days?) Drain put in a large bowl. 
2. In a smaller bowl, mix the vinaigrette, garlic powder, ponzu and Sriracha. 
3. Put all the remaining ingredients in the large bowl with the pasta. Pour in the contents of the smaller bowl. Toss to incorporate ingredients. 
4. Refrigerate at least one hour before serving. (as mentioned, we loved this as a cold pasta salad. There's really nothing stopping you from serving it immediately if you prefer a warm pasta salad. It's not like I have your house under surveillance...Or do I?)

Good Times!

Slow Cooker Tammy Joes

     Did you ever have an ingredient sitting around the house that you never seem to use? Something that sits in the cabinet mocking you. Something that makes you wonder what you were drinking that day? My ingredient is a jar of Tamicon Tamarind Paste. I bought it thinking it was Tamari. I finally decided I'd use it in a riff on the classic Sloppy Joe. The end result was surprisingly good. It was was sweet, savory and spicy, but not too much of any one of those. I have to think the tamarind isn't going to be a taste that everybody is going to love, but it's totally worth the try for something different. If you try it, let me know if you like it. If you don't, you probably did something wrong. As always, notes are in blue.

Tammy Joes

Ingredients

• 1 pound ground beef
• 1 can (10.75 ounce) tomato soup
• 1 bag (14 ounces) mixed frozen onions, green and red peppers, defrosted (if you don't have access to the frozen, use chop one onion, one green and one red bell peppers)
• 1-1/2 tablespoons tamarind concentrate (panipuri paste) (you're not likely to have this laying around the house. I got mine from a local Indian grocer. Amazon carries the brand I use) 
• 1 teaspoon sesame oil
• 1 teaspoon garlic powder
• 1 teaspoon cayenne pepper

Directions

1. In a pan, brown the ground beef. Drain the excess oil. Put in a slow cooker.
2. Sautee the vegetables in the pan you used for the ground beef. Add them to the slow cooker. (if you're feeling lazy, you can just throw them directly in the cooker without the sautee)
3. Add all the remaining ingredients and stir to incorporate.
4. Cook on LOW for 3-4 hours.
5. Serve on a bun, with nachos, or over egg noodles or rice.

Good times!