The Spud's Slow Cooker Spicy Tomato Chicken

 As she's been growing up watching me cook, The Spud has taken an interest in cooking. She's helped out with some of my meal preps and has even made dinner from a recipe herself once or twice. This time, she expressed a desire to come up with a recipe from scratch. She has discovered that spice can be a lot of fun and rampaged through our cabinets asking questions and pulling ingredients. She wanted spicy, but not so spicy that everyone couldn't eat and enjoy it. She picked all the ingredients and we worked together to decide how much of each to use. I'll be damned if she didn't nail it on her first try. Everybody in the house loved it, and we've made it again since. Some of the ingredients may be a little troublesome to find, but it will be worth it. Give it a try and let us know what you think! If you don't like it, I guess you can still tell us if you're OK with crushing the ego of a 10 year old. You do you. As always, notes are in blue.

Ingredients

• 2 lbs boneless chicken breasts (you could definitely use thighs here if you prefer, but The Spud likes white meat better)
• 1 quart (32 ounces) canned tomatoes, drained
• 1 pint tandoori tomato jam (this may prove tricky to find. We made ours from scratch. You could always just buy/make some tomato jam and add tandoori seasonings. Both are available separately on Amazon)
• 1 teaspoon Kashmiri chili powder (cayenne would work here, too)
• 1 teaspoon tamarind hot sauce (we used Tangy Tamarindo)
• 1/2 red onion, chopped
• 1 teaspoon dried cilantro (if you're one of those people who think it tastes like soap, use parsley, or lawn clippings)
• Salt and Pepper to taste

Directions

1. In a slow cooker (at least 3 quart size), lay the chicken in a layer at the bottom. 
2. Sprinkle salt, pepper, cilantro, and chili powder over the chicken.
3. In a bowl, mix tomatoes, tomato jam, and hot sauce. Stir the onions into the sauce.
4. Pour over chicken
5. Cook on HIGH for 4 hours. Take the lid off for the last 30 minutes to let the sauce thicken up.
6. Serve with/over rice

Good Times!

Probably Not the Best Ever Slow Cooker Pork Loin and Veggies

 

Look, I'm not going to lie to you. This is probably not the "Best Ever" or "World's Greatest" slow cooker pork loin recipe. It's not going to set the world on fire or revolutionize cooking. What it will do is provide a simple, tasty, filling dinner that will satisfy everyone at the table. Except my child. "I DON'T LIKE COOKED CARROTS!" "I DON'T LIKE MUSHROOMS!" "THOSE POTATOES ARE GROSS." "I'LL EAT THE PORK IF I CAN DROWN IT IN BARBECUE SAUCE." As always, notes are in blue.

Probably Not the Best Ever
Slow Cooker Pork Loin and Veggies

Ingredients:

• 2 pound pork loin
• 5 medium potatoes, quartered
• 8 ounces sliced mushrooms
• 1 stalk celery, chopped
• 3 cloves garlic, finely chopped
• 8 oz. baby carrots
• 1 can (10.5 ounces) cream of mushroom soup
• 12 ounces beer (if you don't do alcohol, just fill up the soup can with water and dump it in)
• 3 teaspoons Lake Shore Drive seasoning from the Spice House. (if you don't have it, you should totally get it. It's a blend featuring  chives, scallions, green peppercorns, and shallots. Works with just about everything and ships free if you buy it in flatpack envelopes. No, they didn't pay or give me anything for this plug, which is an absolute shame.)

Directions:

1. Throw the pork loin in the cooker, fat side up. 
2. Throw the veggies in around the pork.
3. Pour on the soup and liquid of your choice.
4. Sprinkle on the seasoning.
5. Cook on LOW for 6 hours.

Good Times!

Slow Cooker Chicken and Potatoes in Pasta Sauce

 

Oh boy. Only 54 more wake ups until Summer Vacation. The Burn Out is real. Clearly based on the stellar content I've been posting (i.e. memes and various shitposting), I'm not finding much time or inclination to cook. Going without an oven for five weeks didn't help. We've leaned hard into the slow cooker. The upshot is we came up with a gem. You could eat this by itself as a stew, or over rice or pasta. It uses nothing but staple kitchen items so it won't be hard to put together (especially if you just use jarred pasta sauce) and isn't expensive. It is certainly filling and tasty. The Wife describes it as "kind of like cacciatore," which seems like a fair assessment.  Give it a try and let me know what you think. As always, notes are in blue. 

Slow Cooker Chicken and Potatoes in Pasta Sauce

Ingredients

• 4 medium potatoes, cut into 1" cubes (Peel them if you want. We generally don't)
• 1 medium onion, chopped
• 1 bell pepper, chopped (Pick whatever color you like. The Wife doesn't really like green peppers, so we used red bell peppers here)
• 4 cloves garlic, chopped
• 1 lb chicken (Another choice! Thighs or breasts? We went with breasts because we had more on hand and I like to save the thighs for any pressure cooking)
• 2-1/2 cups of pasta sauce. (I highly recommend this recipe for pasta sauce, but feel free to use your own, or even bust open a jar of store bought. I won't judge you.)
• 1 teaspoon dry oregano
• 1 teaspoon dry basil
• salt to taste

Directions

1. In a slow cooker (a 4-5 quart cooker will work), layer all the ingredients in order of appearance.
2. Cook on LOW for 6 hours. 
3. Shred the chicken with a fork.
4. Give everything a stir before serving.

Good Times!

Slow Cooker Buffalo Chicken Soup

Lately we have been in survival mode. We've had some drama around the homestead and work has been one nightmare after another for me and The Wife. Among other things, I had a sinus infection that led to over three weeks of coughing. Scorpia summed it up very succinctly:

Well, more of a challenge of a last few months.

Last Sunday, I finally had the energy to throw together something new. This recipe is about as easy as you could want. We used ALDI frozen chicken breasts. I didn't even defrost the meat, I just chucked it in frozen. If you're a vegetarian, feel free to leave the meat out. This would make a fine potato soup. If you're feeling tired and lazy, this is the way to go. It's a perfect soup for this weather. It's thick and spicy and definitely takes the edge off a cold day. Try it and let me know what you think, unless it's negative, then don't. I probably couldn't handle it at this point. As always, notes are in blue.

Slow Cooker Buffalo Chicken Soup

Ingredients

• 6 potatoes, cut into small (1/4") cubes. Peeling them is optional
• 1 medium onion, finely chopped
• 2 stalks celery, finely chopped
• 1 medium carrot, peeled and grated
• 1 pound chicken (boneless skinless thighs or breasts. I used breasts for this recipe)
• 2 packs (2 ounces each) Buffalo Chicken Soup/Dip Mix (I got mine at Aldi. I'm sure most grocery stores have it. If you don't like spicy, do one packet. If you do like spicy, use the two recommended and then dump in some Frank's or Tabasco)
• 32 ounces chicken stock
• 1 block (8 ounces) Neufchatel cheese (or you can use regular cream cheese)

Directions

1. Throw everything but the cheese into a 5 quart or larger slow cooker in the order listed above. 
2. Cook on HIGH for 4 hours.
3. Shred the chicken (I just got in there with a couple of forks and tore it up)
4. Add the cheese and stir until it is incorporated. 
5. Turn to LOW and cook another 30 minutes.

Good times!

Thank Heavens, Another Slow-Cooker Beef Stew Recipe aka Okayest Ever Slow-Cooker Beef Stew

Last week, the school year drew to a close and the Wife and I breathed a heavy sigh of relief. We have the whole summer ahead of us and things are returning to some vague semblance of normalcy. We thought, "what could we possibly do to help drive things back to that wonderfully boring normal?" SLOW COOKER BEEF STEW was the resounding answer. And I'm not going to blow beef scented smoke up your asses and claim it's "Best Ever" because it's not. It's good. It's serviceable. It is mind numbingly easy to make and will fill you up. That's it. That's all I can say. I've got months of content I owe you, so expect a treasure like this every now and then. Much like this recipe, this post is vaguely satisfying filler until I can make something more substantial. As always, any notes are in blue.

Okayest Ever Slow Cooker Beef Stew

Ingredients

• 1 pound beef stew meat
• 1 bag (about 1 pound) mixed frozen stew vegetables (i.e. carrots, celery, onions, potatoes)
• 1 can (10.5 ounces) cream of mushroom soup
• 1 can (14.5 ounces) diced tomatoes, drained
• 1 onion, chopped
• 1 large potato, cut into 1" cubes
• 1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
• 1 teaspoon garlic powder
• 1/2 teaspoon black pepper
• 1 cup water (in retrospect, I suppose I could have just not drained the tomatoes and omitted this step, but I justify it in the reduction of sodium)
• 1 heaping tablespoon corn starch
• 2 tablespoons cold water

Directions

1. Unceremoniously dump everything but the last two ingredients into a slow cooker. Don't even bother browning the meat. That's where we are right now. We're just getting shit done.
2. Cook on HIGH for 4-1/2 hours because I don't have the patience to wait for 8-10 hours on LOW. 
3. Take the corn starch and water in a small bowl and whisk it together until the corn starch is completely dissolved. At the end of the strew cooking time, stir in the corn starch slurry until things thicken up. 
4. That's it. Slop it in a bowl and grimly shovel it down in silence.

Good times!

Slow Cooker Ham, Broccoli, and Cheese Soup

 I was just thinking to myself that the world can't possibly have enough slow cooker ham and potato soup recipes. This was a grave injustice that deserved remedy. That, and I had a bag of potatoes that was about to turn into compost if I didn't use them soon. This is about as utilitarian a soup as you'll ever find. There are no real surprises or innovations here, other than maybe the use of American cheese slices. This is just solid winter fare. This will fill you up and keep you warm. This is not the soup you need right now. It is the soup you deserve. I think that might have been from Batman. I don't know, it's been a long week. Anyways, it's easy to make and it's good. It's also flexible. Leave out the ham, add sausage. Go vegetarian and leave out the meet but add some carrots. Go wild. As always, notes are in blue.

Slow Cooker Ham, Broccoli, and Cheese Soup

Ingredients

• 8 cups cubed (about 1/4") potatoes (peel them if you want, we never bother)
• 1 cup sweet onion, finely chopped
• 1 lb. frozen broccoli
• 4 ounces cream cheese (we use neufchatel)
• 1 lb. ground ham (this may be a problem to find. We use ground ham from Toohill Seed & Beef Service. If you can't find it or are unable to order it, substitute an equivalent weight of ham you chop up yourself.)
• 8 slices American cheese (if this seems horrifying, just substitute 8 ounces of shredded cheddar or Velveeta)
• 3 cups water or chicken stock
• 1 cup milk
• 1 tablespoon Gateway to the North seasoning from the Spice House. (if you can't/won't get this spice blend, you can make do with whatever spices you enjoy)

Directions

1. In a large (5-6 quart) slow cooker, add the potatoes, then layer the cheeses over the potatoes. 
2. Add all other ingredients over the cheese.
3. Cook on LOW for 7 hours, stirring every couple hours.

Good Times!

Slow Cooker Potato, Beer, Bacon and Cheese Soup

 The time has come for soup weather. It's been hovering around freezing for a couple weeks now, so we're dragging out soup recipes and coming up with new ones. This recipe came about because we had a bag of potatoes that had all sorts of exciting things growing off of them and were close to achieving sentience. We found a slow cooker recipe for potato soup and quickly butchered it. The result was a gallon of tasty and filling soup. If you don't drink, it is still good without the beer. Or use non-alcoholic beer if that's an option. It's up to you. I'm not going to be checking on you to see if you followed the recipe exactly. Apologies for the pic, this soup does NOT photograph well. As always, notes are in blue.

Slow Cooker Potato, Beer, Bacon, and Cheese Soup
(looks much better in real life)

Ingredients

• 6 cups potatoes, cut into small cubes (I used russets, didn't peel them, and cut them into about 1/4" squares)
• 2 cups minced onion
• 1/2 cup carrots, cut into thin slices
• 1/2 pound bacon (feel free to leave it out if you don't do meat)
• 1 can (10.5 ounces) cream of broccoli soup (you could certainly use just about any cream soup here, though cream of potato might be overkill)
• 5 cups chicken stock (or vegetable stock if you're not into meat)
• 1/4 teaspoon black pepper
• 1 tablespoon Taylor Street Seasoning from Spice House (I know many of you won't have this, or don't want to order it. That's fine. You can just add garlic, Romano cheese, and basil to taste.)
• 1 can (12 ounces) evaporated milk
• 1 cup dark beer (I used Budweiser Black Lager. Pick your favorite. Use non-alcoholic if you prefer. Or leave it out if you don't drink. I imagine you could through a couple dashes of Worcestershire sauce in there to get that deeper flavor)
• 4 ounces shredded cheddar cheese (about 1 cup)
• 1 teaspoon dried parsley

Directions

1. In a pan, cook bacon until crisp. Drain and set aside.
2. In a large (6 quart) slow-cooker, add the potato, onion, carrot, bacon, soup, stock, pepper and seasonings. 
3. Set the cooker to HIGH for about 6.5 hours. Stir once about halfway through the time.
4. After the 6.5 hours, stir in the evaporated milk, beer, cheese, and parsley. Leave on HIGH and cook another 30 minutes or until the potatoes are soft.

Good times!

The World Needs Another Cheese Dip Recipe

As the world slowly descends into utter madness, I realize what we need now, more than ever, is another Rotel-style cheese dip. There's a pretty good chance I've managed to create something that already exists, which begs the existential question:

If I created something that has already been created, but I had never known about it, was it still an original creation?

Honestly, who the fuck cares. It's really good dip and that's all that matters.

Objectively Original Cheese Dip

Ingredients

• 1 pound cooked and shredded/crumbled meat of your choice (Seriously, almost any meat will work. We used pork loin. Chicken, ground beef, ground turkey, fake crab, shrimp, go nuts. Maybe not like salmon or clams, but the sky's the limit. Or leave out the meat if it's not your thing)
• 1-10.5 ounce can cheddar cheese soup
• 1 -10 ounce can diced tomatoes with jalapenos, drained 
• 4 ounces cream cheese
• 1 cup shredded cheddar cheese

Directions

1. Throw everything in a slow cooker and cook on LOW for 2-3 hours, stirring occasionally
   OR
   Put everything in a deep saucepan and cook on medium heat, stirring regularly, for about 7-10 minutes, until the cream cheese and cheddar are incorporated. Don't let it simmer or it's going to scorch in the pan.
2. There is no step #2

Good times!

Homebound Day #6: I Get Productive

Days are already starting to blend together, so I have to make sure I have some time markers. One of my standard time markers was Sunday. Normally, it would be marked by weeping that I had to go to work the next day, but that doesn't look to be a real concern for some time. So I have to remember, Sundays Are For Baking. I figure I'll just keep up with my habit of baking something every Sunday.

The baking took the form of two loaves of sour cream bread. They hold well and are great for sandwiches. Plus, it's a very simple bread to make.

And if you let your daughter help, you get to add 25 drops of blue food coloring.

While the bread was rising, we through a couple of things in the slow cooker. We used the last of our smoked chicken for a Faux Pho. 

This was unbelievably good.

We also threw a pork loin, onion, and some cucumber-honeydew preserves in another cooker. No pictures, as there's not much to look at. It will likely become carnitas, or possibly a stir fry or soup. This is our multi-use food for the week.

 

Finally, The Wife reminded me that we had a single pie crust in the fridge, as well as a couple of containers of  strawberries that were not long for this world. 

So naturally we made a strawberry pie.
Not much to look at, but tasty.

And that's where we are right now. Food supplies are still good. We still have a couple of gallons of milk and plenty of toilet paper and napkins. Fairly likely we will make the two week mark without needing to go our for anything. Past that, we will run out of milk and possibly one or two other minor things. If I keep baking, flour may be a concern. 

Stay Safe!

Almost forgot, I made coffee smoothies for breakfast:

Slow Cooker Faux Pho

We are still attempting to make it through the imposed homebounding using only the supplies we have in the house (apart from eventually having to get milk for the Spud). This has forced me to be creative and ensure we use up all of one thing before we make the next. Two days ago we defrosted a whole smoked chicken that was in our fridge. The first night we had it as is. The next night it was chicken wraps. This time, since IT WAS FUCKING SNOWING AGAIN, I decided to use the last of the chicken to make soup. I thought it would be neat to try making Pho, but real pho is a Pain In The Ass. Lots of straining and demand for a perfectly clear broth. Screw that. It all went into a slow cooker. Was it authentic? No clue. I've never had authentic pho. I'm guessing it wasn't even close to authentic. Was it good? HELLS YES IT WAS.

Slow Cooker Faux Pho

Ingredients

• 5 cups chicken stock
• 1 cup water
• 1 sweet onion, minced
• 3/4" ginger, grated
• 1/8 teaspoon ground clove
• 1 teaspoon ground coriander
• 1/4 teaspoon black pepper
• salt to taste
• 2 teaspoon dried cilantro
• 3 teaspoon fish sauce
• 1 can 14.5 ounces, bean sprouts, drained
• 1 pound cooked, shredded chicken
• 8 ounces rice noodles
• Lime wedges and Sriracha sauce for garnish

Directions

1. In a 5-6 quart slow cooker, add all ingredients except for the last 4. Set on LOW for 5 hours.
2. Add the sprouts, chicken, and noodles. Recover the slow-cooker and cook an additional 30 minutes.
3. Serve with lime wedges and Sriracha.

Good Times!

Homebound Day #5: Made it to Saturday

The first week of homebound is drawing to a close and we are officially shelter in place. It looks like there will be no real possibility of returning to school before April 14. Naturally, the weather is still cold and gloomy, so getting out into the yard is still not an option. Today, I decided to make something special for breakfast: French Toast. Granted, this is not really all that special but for bread, I'm using something I normally do not use for anything under any circumstance.

Panettone. I fucking HATE Panettone.

I truly hate Panettones. I am extremely vocal about how much I hate these. Naturally, my mother-in-law insists of inflicting these on us every year. This particular one has sat up on top of the fridge for over two years.  This is a testament to how unnatural they are. This was still squishy. I'd trust a Twinkie more. Panettones are the cockroach of the baked goods. They last FOREVER. However, The Wife likes them. The only way I'll tolerate them is if I can convert them into French Toast and drench them in butter, jelly, and syrup.

And they still have the consistency of gas station fruit cake.

With breakfast out of the way, we all found things to do on our own. The wife started getting seeds prepared for our garden, the Spud rampaged around the house until she discovered mahjong on The Wife's tablet. The kid has a knack for the game. I amused myself by playing some games on my Steam account that I loaded back up after a seven year hiatus.

Dinner was a simple affair. We made chicken wraps with the leftover chicken from last night, and served them with some more corn on the cob and the last of the jar of dilly beans. We finished up with some ancient rice pudding for dessert. 

A little spicy brown mustard and garlic herb cheese spread seals the deal.

There was enough chicken left that I'm going to try my hand at Pho for dinner tomorrow night. I'm pretty sure I have all the ingredients. So far my plan of using up all of one main ingredient before starting another is working well. We'll get at least 3 days of meals from that chicken, depending how much Pho I end up with. We are also defrosting a pork loin for use in the slow cooker tomorrow.

Toilet paper and booze supplies still look good. 

Stay Safe!

Slow Cooker Cheesy Ham and Potato Soup by The Wife

(Note: The Wife sent me this write-up in the first week of January. A combination of busyness, laziness, and mortifying illness caused me to totally forget about posting this. I do apologize, but most of your know by now that regular posting is not something that occurs around here. Unless you sponsor me or something. Without further ado, we return you to my Wife's wonderful recipe!)

The Husband was under the weather all Christmas Break.  When he took his second trip to prompt care in as many weeks, I decided to throw together a slow cooker soup.  We had a Honeybaked Ham and a number of bags of frozen potatoes, so a cheesy ham and potato soup seemed the best option.  Unfortunately, we only had half a block of cheddar cheese and most recipes called for at least 8 ounces.  Some also called for Velveeta.  We didn’t have any of that.  We did, however, have 5 cans of condensed cheddar cheese soup, so I decided to improvise.

Slow Cooker Cheesy Ham & Potato Soup
(from The Wife)

Ingredients:

• 2 lb. bag of diced potatoes
• 2 cups of diced ham
• 1 cup of frozen broccoli
• 1 cup of frozen cauliflower
• 2 cans (10.5 oz) of condensed cheddar cheese soup
• 1 can of water
• 1 Tbsp minced onion

Directions:
1.  Combine all ingredients in a 5-6 quart slow cooker and stir.
2.  Cover and cook on low for 6-7 hours.
3.  Stir soup.  Mine was good and thick, but if you’d like it thicker, stir in 4 ounces of cream cheese.
4.  We just wanted a hearty soup, so we weren’t too concerned with presentation.  If you are, throw some sliced green onion and grated cheddar over the top.

Good Times!

Slow Cooker Beef and Sweet Potatoes

As you're no doubt aware, my level of content production has once again dropped of dramatically since the school year started. We've been trying to come up with quick and easy recipes that can fit into our week and still sound good to all of you! This might be one of them. It's a super-easy slow cooker recipe that is wonderful for cold days. I like that there's a pretty good chance most everybody has these ingredients on hand at any given time. Or not. I'm on my 3rd rum and Coke so I'm prone to wild speculation at this point

Slow Cooker Beef and Sweet Potatoes

Ingredients

• 2-3 pound beef roast
• 3 sweet potatoes, peeled and cut into large (2-3") cubes
• 1 large red or yellow bell pepper, cut into thin slices
• 1 large yellow onion, chopped
• 1/2 cup Marsala wine (here is a link to some non-alcoholic substitutes)
• 1-1/2 teaspoons garlic powder
• 1-1/2 teaspoons brown sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon salt

Directions

1. Mix garlic powder, brown sugar, and salt in a small bowl. Rub mixture over entire roast. 
2. Place roast in slow cooker. Place potatoes around roast and top with onion and peppers
3. Add Marsala wine (or whatever you're using in place of it)
4. Cook 3-4 hours on HIGH or 6-7 hours on LOW. 

Good Times!

Slow Cooker Chicken Cacciatore

Summer around here means one thing: It's too damned hot to turn on the oven. Seriously. I can have the house at a comfortable 70 degrees, but if I cook anything in the oven, it shoots right up to 75. This is when the slow-cooker gets dragged out. This recipe came together super fast and is extremely good over pasta or rice. In other news, I somehow managed to lose every photo I had of this recipe. I checked every memory card I had. The pictures are totally gone. I don't know, maybe I was drunk and forgot to actually take the pictures. In any case, enjoy this picture of a chicken shrugging in place of the actual dish. As always, notes are in (blue).

Slow Cooker Chicken Cacciatore

Ingredients

• 2-3 (about 1.5 lb.) boneless, skinless chicken breasts (feel free to use boneless, skinless thighs if you prefer)
• 1 can (14.5oz) diced tomatoes, undrained
• 1 onion, halved and sliced
• 1 red bell pepper, cut into small slice
• 1 can (8oz) sliced mushrooms, drained (you can certainly use fresh if you prefer)
• 2-3 garlic cloves, finely chopped
• 1 teaspoon dried oregano
• 1 teaspoon dried basil
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1/4 teaspoon red pepper flakes

Directions

1. Put chicken in the bottom of slow cooker.
2. Unceremoniously dump everything else on top of chicken
3. Cook on LOW for 6 hours
4. Give everything a good stir before serving.

Good times!

Slow Cooker Ham, Green Bean and Potatoes

Every now and then we make what we like to call "Desperation Recipes." These are recipes that are created in an effort to use up ingredients before they go off. This has let to some amazing failures like The Great Hot Dog Jambalaya Debacle and The Canned Ham and Asparagus Soup Incident. This recipe, however, was a success. Such a success that I totally forgot to take a picture of the finished product. Instead of a picture of the finished product, I will use a picture of a Chevy HHR decorated like a pig. In the event somebody makes this and takes a picture before I do, I will replace this picture with theirs.

Slow Cooker Ham, Green Beans
and Potatoes

 Ingredients

• 6 red potatoes, sliced into 1/4 inch slices
• 1/2 sweet onion, chopped
• 1-1/4 pound ham, cut into small chunks (a chunk is whatever size you like within reason. 1/2-1" is probably fine. 6-8" is probably not going to work)
• 1 pound frozen green beans
• 1 can (15 ounce) cream of mushroom soup
• 1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
• 1 teaspoon Milwaukee Avenue seasoning from the Spice House
• Dash of hot sauce 

Directions

1. Throw all the ingredients into a slow cooker (There's a fair amount of stuff going in. I'd recommend at least a 4 quart cooker).
2. Stir everything up.
3. Cook on LOW for 6 hours or until potatoes are done

Good Times!

Slow Cooker Turkey and Noodles

     After Thanksgiving, we usually have a terrifying amount of leftovers. This is because I have no idea how to cook for small groups. This year, for myself, The Wife, and The Spud, I cooked a 12 pound turkey. That's all well and good, but there's only so many turkey sandwiches you can eat. At The Wife's request, we took a Chicken and Dumplings recipe we have used from The Gooseberry Patch Super Fast Slow Cooker Cookbook. This works great because I promised some of you the recipe some time ago. Simply replace all instances of "turkey" here with "chicken" and you'll be fine. This makes a nice, thick, dish. Remember, this isn't soup, so don't come fussing when you say it is too thick. If you want soup, just keep adding stock until it's the consistency you want. This is a real winner on a cold day.

Slow Cooker Turkey & Noodles

Ingredients

• 1-1/4 pound shredded cooked turkey
• 2 cans (10.5 ounce) cream of chicken soup
• Chicken/Turkey stock equal to 4 cans (about 5.25 cups)
• Seasoning of your choice to taste. (We used Ukrainian Village Seasoning from the Spice House) 
• 24 ounces (two frozen bags of wide noodles or dumplings. I am referring to the thick square noodle type dumplings, not pot sticker or kreplach style)

Directions

1. Load everything except the noodles/dumplings into a slow cooker (5 quart or larger).
2. Cook on LOW for 6 hours.
3. Add the noodles/dumplings and cook another 30 minutes on LOW.

Good Times!

Slow Cooker Honey Wheat Bread

     I do love my slow cookers. I use them for so many different things. However, there was one thing I never thought to try: bread. It seemed to me that there would be no possible way to bake bread in a slow cooker without it ending up super damp and mushy. Not surprisingly, I was totally wrong. I've managed to find a couple recipes that turn out some surprisingly good bread. I love it because it means I can bake on a hot day without having to turn on the oven! This particular bread has a touch of sweetness and is a great breakfast bread. It actually manages to have a good crust and a super nice crumb. Best of all, I was able to make it without using their method of putting a second container into the cooker! Fair warning, I needed considerably more flour than the recipe called for. As always, notes and changes are in blue. 

Slow-Cooker Honey Wheat Bread
(via Slow Cooker Magic in Minutes)

Ingredients

• 3 cups whole-wheat flour (I needed considerably more than this)
• 2 cups warm milk
• 3/4-1 cup all-purpose flour (I needed considerably more than this)
• 1/4 cup honey
• 2 tablespoons canola oil
• 1 envelope active dry yeast
• 3/4 teaspoon salt

Directions

1. Spray a 1-quart casserole, or other high sided baking pan with nonstick cooking spray (totally didn't to that. I just lined a 1.5 quart slow-cooker with parchment paper and sprayed it with non-stick spray)
2. Combine 1-1/2 cups whole-wheat flour, milk, 1/2 cup all-purpose flour, honey, oil, yeast, and salt in a large bowl. Beat at low speed of electric mixer 2 minutes. 
3. Add remaining flour. If mixer has difficulty mixing dough, mix in remaining flour. (Holy crap did I have difficulty. The amount of flour called for in the recipe will deliver a sticky mess. I needed close to another cup and a half of flour. I just did a 50/50 mix of flours to make up this difference. Just don't freak out when the original recipe doesn't yield a nice, smooth dough.)
   Mix until dough is smooth and elastic (using my KitchenAid and dough hook, this took about 6-7 minutes in total)
4. Transfer to prepared dish. Place dish in slow-cooker. (As I mentioned in step 1, I was not going to do that. I just shaped the dough into a ball and put it into the parchment lined slow-cooker). Cover and cook on HIGH 3 hours or until edges are browned.
   (If you are doing it my way, here are a few tips. After 3 hours, take out the loaf, flip it over, lay a paper towel over it, put the cover back on and let it go another 45 minutes to hour. This will get rid of any moisture on the top and give the top a bit of a crust without having to throw it under the broiler at the end.
5. Turn out on a wire rack to cool. 

Good times!

Slow Cooker Mexican Style Beer and Cheese Soup

Holy cow does having a child eat into your time. Nobody warned me about that. Okay, everybody warned me about that. It's a good thing she's beautiful and hilarious, so I don't mind. One of the big things I've learned in the last year or so is to find meals that can be prepared in a hurry or require very little maintenance. During the winter months, that means I'm leaning heavily on the slow cooker. The Wife was recently after me to make some beer and cheese soup. I have a recipe and it's pretty good, but wanted something that would work well with the absolutely vile pumpkin beer I had in the fridge. I found it! The beer flavor really works quite well and the soup has a nice bite to it from the peppers. This is a great cold-weather soup. We are definitely making it again. As a bonus, at the bottom of this post, you'll find the link to the YouTube video of the recipe. As always, notes are in blue.

Slow Cooker Mexican Style
Beer and Cheese Soup
(that absolutely does not photograph well)

Ingredients

• 1-1/4 lb. ground beef
• 1/2 onion, chopped
• 1 can (10.75 oz) cheddar cheese soup (if you can find nacho cheese soup, that would probably be even better)
• 1 can (10 oz) diced tomato and peppers
• 1 can (15.5 oz) black beans, rinsed and drained
• 1 can (14.75 oz) creamed corn
• 1 can (12 oz) Harvest Patch Shandy (Leinenkugel) beer. (if you can't find it, any pumpkin beer will do. If you can't find pumpkin beer, or despise all things pumpkin, use any pilsner style beer (Old Style, etc). If you can't/won't use booze, just use an equal amount of water or beef stock)
• 1 envelope taco seasoning (about 1 oz)

Directions

1. In a pan, brown ground beef along with the chopped onions. Drain off excess grease and then stir in taco seasoning (into the meat and onion mix, not the drained grease because that would be dumb)
2. Combine all ingredients in a slow cooker. (we used a 3 quart and it was close. I suggest at least a 4 quart cooker). Cook on HIGH about 4 hours.

BONUS VIDEO

Good Times!

Another Sausage, Sauerkraut and Potato Recipe, but with Apples!

     Bratwurst, sauerkraut and potato dishes are as ubiquitous as man-buns on hipsters. Why does the world need another one? No clue. Good thing this one isn't mine. I pinched it from a recipe book and then made a bunch of changes. As far as I'm concerned, these dishes generally taste about the same. This one had enough changes that it was actually fairly tasty. I'm still not a big fan, but The Wife enjoyed it, so it will stay in the rotation. Mostly I avoid dishes like this because they are absolute sodium bombs. I can gain 3-4 pounds of water overnight after eating something like this. Not even joking. Just serve it with copious amounts of beer to keep the system flushed. As always, notes and changes are in blue.

Another Sausage, Sauerkraut
and Potato Recipe
but with Apples!
(via Fix-It and Forget-It Recipes for Entertaining)

Ingredients

• 5-6 bratwurst links, cut into 1" pieces (I'm always leery of bratwurst; my father referred to it as "gray meat." We went with a package of Johnsonville "Irish O'Garlic" sausages.)
• 5 medium sized potatoes, peeled and cubed (we just scrubbed them and cubed them. I generally refuse to peel a potato)
• 27 ounce can sauerkraut, rinsed and drained (we used a 24 ounce jar, just to be difficult)
• 1 medium tart apple, chopped
• 1 small onion, chopped
• 1/4 cup packed brown sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon salt (HAHAHAHAHAHA, no. You've already got kraut and a pack of sausages in there. If there's one thing this recipe does NOT need, it's more salt. 
• 1 teaspoon Old World Central Street Seasoning from Spice House (yeah yeah, it's got salt, but a ton of other good things in there!)

Directions

1. Brown bratwurst/sausages on all sides in skillet (did they mean all sides of the sausage, or brown the sausage on all sides of the skillet? I tried browning the sausages on the outside of the skillet and it made a hell of a mess)
2. Combine remaining ingredients in slow cooker. Stir in bratwurst/sausage and pan drippings (Pan drippings? Seriously. They mean grease. You cook half a dozen processed meat tubes in a pan and you get grease. Pan drippings sounds like a Satyr with venereal disease)
3. Cover. Cook on high 4-6 hours, or until potatoes and apples are tender. (It took us about 5 hours)

BONUS! Click HERE to see the video replay of the live stream we did of cooking this recipe!

Good Times!

Slow Cooker Southwest Style Cheese Soup

     "Southwest Style." what a vague description. It would seem as long as you have meat and chile peppers, you can call something Southwest. That's good, because that is exactly what I did. This really came together as a desperate attempt to come up with meals for the week. I didn't expect much from this recipe, but was happily surprised at how it turned out. It had a nice bite and a plenty of flavor. It was even better the next day! Give it a try and see what you think! If you like it, let me know! If not, tell someone else, because I don't have time for your criticism.

Slow Cooker
Southwest Style Cheese Soup

Ingredients

• 1 can (15.5 ounce) black beans, drained and rinsed
• 1 can (14.5 ounce) fire roasted salsa style tomatoes, undrained (our ALDI had these. If you can't find them, just substitute a can of Rotel tomatoes with green chiles.)
• 1/2 cup corn (frozen or canned)
• 1 pound ground beef (80/20 is great, but 73/27 is fine, too. 11/89 is right out)
• 1/2 medium yellow onion, diced
• 4 cups water
• 1/2 cup sour cream
• 1 cup pepper jack cheese (this is not a paid endorsement, but I wholeheartedly recommend Kraft Habanero Heat shredded Monterey Jack)

Directions

1. Brown and drain the ground beef. Throw it in a slow cooker.
2. Throw in everything else except the sour cream and cheese.
3. Cook on LOW for 4 hours
4. Add the sour cream and cheese. Stir to incorporate and cook on LOW another 30 minutes.

Good Times!