Breakfast Bites

 Now that we have our new oven, I can really get back to work in the kitchen. We've had some bags of shredded potatoes that I've been wanting to use up for some time. I've seen several iterations of these "breakfast muffins" before, so I figured I'd give it a whirl. I enlisted the help of The Spud on these and while she was happy to help cook them, she didn't seem keen on trying one. The Wife and I did, and were very happy with how they came out. There's a lot of wiggle room here with the ingredients. You can swap in our out pretty much any cheese you want. You can change the meat for crumbled bacon or sausage, or leave it out for a vegetarian option. If you add veggies, just make sure they're drained of all water. Water is your enemy here, as we discovered. Our potatoes were not completely drained, and while the sides and tops got crunchy, the bottoms did not. They were still quite tasty. I imagine if you made these in bulk they'd freeze well and could be easily reheated in the oven. Give it a try and tell me what you think! As always, notes are in blue.

Breakfast Bites
(yields 12)

Ingredients

• 24 ounces shredded potatoes (if using frozen, make sure they are defrosted and squeezed of all water possible. If using fresh potatoes, still make sure all excess water is squeezed out. Otherwise, the bottoms will not brown properly)
• 1 cup shredded cheddar cheese
• 3 T olive oil
• 4 ounces ham, chopped 
• 6 eggs
• 1 teaspoon Trader Joe's Everything but the Elote seasoning (if you don't have this, just use seasoned salt, or even just salt and pepper)
• 1/4 cup shredded Italian cheese
• salt and pepper to taste

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 400F (200C, Gas Mark 6)
2. In a large bowl add potatoes (which you have squeezed of all water as humanly possible). shredded cheddar cheese, and the olive oil. Season to taste. Mix until the cheese is evenly incorporated through the potatoes.

   

   Doesn't everyone wear their winter coat while seasoning?

   
   
3. Take a 12 count muffin tin (don't use the mini-muffin tins here as I can't promise they'll come out right. Just use a standard muffin tray) and spray it with non-stick cooking spray. Take about 1-2 tablespoons of potato mixture and press them along the edges and bottoms of the muffin cups, creating little bowls. You should be looking at about 1/8"-1/4" (about 4-8mm) thickness all the way round. (if the potatoes are too thick, they may not get crispy when they cook)
4. Put the muffin tin in the oven and cook for 30-40 minutes (you're looking for a nice crispy bowl when these are done. Depending on the moisture level of your potatoes, this time may go up or down)
5. While the potato cups are cooking, in another bowl, add 6 eggs, the chopped ham, and your seasoning. Beat until everything is mixed well. 
6. Once your potatoes are done, take them out and lower the oven to 350F (177C, Gas Mark 4)
7. Start spooning the egg mixture into each potato cup, filling it to just below the lip of the cup (to prevent any spilling or overflow in the oven). Top with the Italian cheese.

   

   No muss, no fuss!

   
   
8. Put in the oven for 20-30 minutes until eggs are done
9. Take them out of the muffin tin before they adhere to the pan for all time. Let them cool on a wire rack if you plan to save them for later, or just cram them fresh from the oven directly into your greedy face, burning the shit out of the inside of your mouth just like you did with those pizza rolls, and you swore up and down you'd never make that mistake again. 

   

   Potential Mouth Blisters
   Good Times!

   
   

Slow Cooker Ham, Broccoli, and Cheese Soup

 I was just thinking to myself that the world can't possibly have enough slow cooker ham and potato soup recipes. This was a grave injustice that deserved remedy. That, and I had a bag of potatoes that was about to turn into compost if I didn't use them soon. This is about as utilitarian a soup as you'll ever find. There are no real surprises or innovations here, other than maybe the use of American cheese slices. This is just solid winter fare. This will fill you up and keep you warm. This is not the soup you need right now. It is the soup you deserve. I think that might have been from Batman. I don't know, it's been a long week. Anyways, it's easy to make and it's good. It's also flexible. Leave out the ham, add sausage. Go vegetarian and leave out the meet but add some carrots. Go wild. As always, notes are in blue.

Slow Cooker Ham, Broccoli, and Cheese Soup

Ingredients

• 8 cups cubed (about 1/4") potatoes (peel them if you want, we never bother)
• 1 cup sweet onion, finely chopped
• 1 lb. frozen broccoli
• 4 ounces cream cheese (we use neufchatel)
• 1 lb. ground ham (this may be a problem to find. We use ground ham from Toohill Seed & Beef Service. If you can't find it or are unable to order it, substitute an equivalent weight of ham you chop up yourself.)
• 8 slices American cheese (if this seems horrifying, just substitute 8 ounces of shredded cheddar or Velveeta)
• 3 cups water or chicken stock
• 1 cup milk
• 1 tablespoon Gateway to the North seasoning from the Spice House. (if you can't/won't get this spice blend, you can make do with whatever spices you enjoy)

Directions

1. In a large (5-6 quart) slow cooker, add the potatoes, then layer the cheeses over the potatoes. 
2. Add all other ingredients over the cheese.
3. Cook on LOW for 7 hours, stirring every couple hours.

Good Times!

Slow Cooker Cheesy Ham and Potato Soup by The Wife

(Note: The Wife sent me this write-up in the first week of January. A combination of busyness, laziness, and mortifying illness caused me to totally forget about posting this. I do apologize, but most of your know by now that regular posting is not something that occurs around here. Unless you sponsor me or something. Without further ado, we return you to my Wife's wonderful recipe!)

The Husband was under the weather all Christmas Break.  When he took his second trip to prompt care in as many weeks, I decided to throw together a slow cooker soup.  We had a Honeybaked Ham and a number of bags of frozen potatoes, so a cheesy ham and potato soup seemed the best option.  Unfortunately, we only had half a block of cheddar cheese and most recipes called for at least 8 ounces.  Some also called for Velveeta.  We didn’t have any of that.  We did, however, have 5 cans of condensed cheddar cheese soup, so I decided to improvise.

Slow Cooker Cheesy Ham & Potato Soup
(from The Wife)

Ingredients:

• 2 lb. bag of diced potatoes
• 2 cups of diced ham
• 1 cup of frozen broccoli
• 1 cup of frozen cauliflower
• 2 cans (10.5 oz) of condensed cheddar cheese soup
• 1 can of water
• 1 Tbsp minced onion

Directions:
1.  Combine all ingredients in a 5-6 quart slow cooker and stir.
2.  Cover and cook on low for 6-7 hours.
3.  Stir soup.  Mine was good and thick, but if you’d like it thicker, stir in 4 ounces of cream cheese.
4.  We just wanted a hearty soup, so we weren’t too concerned with presentation.  If you are, throw some sliced green onion and grated cheddar over the top.

Good Times!

Slow Cooker Ham, Green Bean and Potatoes

Every now and then we make what we like to call "Desperation Recipes." These are recipes that are created in an effort to use up ingredients before they go off. This has let to some amazing failures like The Great Hot Dog Jambalaya Debacle and The Canned Ham and Asparagus Soup Incident. This recipe, however, was a success. Such a success that I totally forgot to take a picture of the finished product. Instead of a picture of the finished product, I will use a picture of a Chevy HHR decorated like a pig. In the event somebody makes this and takes a picture before I do, I will replace this picture with theirs.

Slow Cooker Ham, Green Beans
and Potatoes

 Ingredients

• 6 red potatoes, sliced into 1/4 inch slices
• 1/2 sweet onion, chopped
• 1-1/4 pound ham, cut into small chunks (a chunk is whatever size you like within reason. 1/2-1" is probably fine. 6-8" is probably not going to work)
• 1 pound frozen green beans
• 1 can (15 ounce) cream of mushroom soup
• 1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
• 1 teaspoon Milwaukee Avenue seasoning from the Spice House
• Dash of hot sauce 

Directions

1. Throw all the ingredients into a slow cooker (There's a fair amount of stuff going in. I'd recommend at least a 4 quart cooker).
2. Stir everything up.
3. Cook on LOW for 6 hours or until potatoes are done

Good Times!

Ham and Cheese Bread

     You probably know by now that I don't always have top of the line ingredients on hand. That's not really my thing. It's nice to have fancy meats and cheeses and stuff like that, but it's also nice to be able to pay the mortgage and utilities. I often find recipes that I end up avoiding because I never have the ingredients on hand, or more likely, I can't seem to justify the cost of the ingredients. That's probably why you don't see more recipes with Gruyere on my pages. Anyways, I found a bread recipe and wanted to make it for some time, but never had the key ingredients. Finally, I just cracked and used super-cheap alternatives. I couldn't have been happier with the results. I ended up with a nice, crusty bread perfect for sandwiches! As always, notes and changes are in blue.

Ham and Cheese Bread
adapted from Torta Di Testo Di Prosciutti E Formaggio
via The Art of Bread

Ingredients

• 2 teaspoon (1 envelope) active dry yeast
• 1/3 cup plus 2 tbsp water (I ended up using 4 tbsp water for whatever reason. Maybe I used too much flour.)
• 3-1/2 cups unbleached flour (I just used plain old white flour from ALDI. I didn't have time to take the Rolls Royce out for "special" flour)
• 1-1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1/4 teaspoon ground black pepper
• pinch of freshly grated nutmeg (even this amount was noticeable. If you're not a fan of nutmeg, just omit this)
• 1/2 cup unsalted butter, softened (a stick of generic margarine microwaved for 20 seconds, you say? Done!)
• 4 eggs, beaten
• 5 ounces ounces sliced prosciutto, chopped (lah-de-dah! Prosciutto! Let me break out the good china! I'm going to be honest. I used a pack of Buddig honey ham)
• 5 ounces Emmental, diced (seeing as all my liquid assets are tied up in long term investments in yacht and gold futures, I used an equal amount of shredded pepperjack cheese)

Directions

1. Sprinkle yeast into water in a bowl. Leave for five minutes (they should really be more specific. I left the kitchen and got as far as the driveway before I realized I couldn't finish the recipe from out there. Even though the recipe didn't say to return, I did); stir to dissolve.
2. Mix flour, salt, pepper and nutmeg in a large bowl (I used my KitchenAid, so that was my large bowl). Make a well in the center and add the dissolved yeast and everything else. 
3. Mix until you've formed a soft, sticky dough (as mentioned, this took a little extra water to achieve). Turn out onto a lightly floured surface. Knead until silky and elastic, about 10 minutes (I just slapped the dough hook on the mixer and let it take care of things while I had a drink or six.)
4. Put the dough in a clean bowl and cover with a dish towel. Let rise until doubled in size, about 2 hours. Punch down, then let rest for 10 minutes. 
5. Shape the dough into a round loaf. Place on a lightly oiled baking sheet (I used a pizza stone and a thin spray of cooking oil) and cover with a dish towel (they had to specify dish towel? Was there a chance I'd chuck a beach towel over it? Maybe a washcloth?). Proof until doubled in size, about 1 hour.
6. Bake in an oven preheated to 350F (180C, Gasmark 4) for 1-1/2 hours, until golden brown (yeah, I know this seems like a long time, but it's right. You'll need every minute of it), cool on a wire rack.

Good Times!

Ham and Pea Soup

     Peas are a bit of an oddity with The Wife. Normally, she'll pick the peas out of most anything she's eating and wouldn't eat them as a side dish. However, if I make ham and pea soup, she goes batshit crazy over it and will eat it with gusto. This particular recipe is super simple and can be pressure canned for later use. Just remember to consult The National Center for Home Food Preservation to make sure you don't accidentally poison anyone. As always, notes are in blue.

Ham and Pea Soup
adapted from Better Homes and Gardens Home Canning Cookbook

Ingredients (Yields 4 pints)

• 5 cups frozen green peas (you can use fresh if you'd like)
• 2 cups finely chopped ham 
• 3/4 cup celery
• 1 teaspoon salt (Use the full teaspoon if your ham isn't salty. We dropped it to 1/4 teaspoon since our ham was super salty)
• 1/2 teaspoon black pepper
• 1/2 teaspoon dried marjoram

Directions

1. Add 3-1/2 cups water, peas, ham, onion, celery and seasonings in a 4-6 quart pot. Bring to boil and reduce to simmer. Simmer, covered for about 20-30 minutes.
2. Blend until smooth (If you've got steady hands, you can do it in batches in a blender. We used our immersion blender since I'm likely to spill everywhere trying to transfer scalding hot soup)
3. If you plan on eating this right away, stop here. If you plan on canning this for later use, carry on:
   Heat soup back to the boil Ladle hod soup into hot jars, leaving 1/2 inch headspace. Secure lids and process in a pressure canner at 10 pounds pressure. 60 minutes for pints and 75 minutes for quarts. 
4. Before serving and pressure canned food, make sure to boil it at least 10 minutes before you try to eat it.
   Optional: If you're not a fan of thick soups, thin this out with 1/2 cup of milk per pint when you go to serve. 

Good times!

Ham & Bean Soup

     I think I may no longer be completely terrified of pressure canning. I've done it a half-dozen or so times and haven't caused any notable damage. I haven't poisoned anybody yet, which is a real surprise. It's a good thing I'm comfortable with it, because it was a great way to use up some of the HUGE surplus of ham from the holidays. For not having many ingredients, this soup was surprisingly tasty. I have no regrets canning a gallon of it. You can serve this up right after it's done, or pressure can it for long term storage. Just be careful if you do. As always, notes and changes are in blue.

Ham and Bean Soup
via Better Homes and Gardens Home Canning Cook Book

Ingredients

• 2 pounds dry navy beans (about 4 cups)
• 1 meaty ham bone
• 1 cup chopped ham
• 1 cup chopped onion
• 12 whole black peppercorns
• 2 bay leaves

Directions

1. Rinse beans. Add to 4 quarts water. Bring to a boil; reduce heat to simmer. Simmer for 2 minutes. Remove from heat and cover for one hour. 
2. Add ham bone, ham, onion and one teaspoon salt (we omitted the salt because the ham we used was plenty salty on its own). Tie peppercorns and bay leaf in cheesecloth and add to mixture (or do like we did and load it into a tea ball and hang it in off the edge of the pot)

   

   Sometimes I'm so clever it hurts.

3. Simmer, covered for 1 hour.
4. After 1 hour, remove spice bag/ball and ham bone. Cut off meat and dice. Use about 1-1/2 cups meat. (Use more if you want. We didn't because the ham was so salty and it would have thrown off the flavor of the soup).
5. If you plan on serving the soup, you're done. If you want the soup a bit thinner, cut it with about 1 cup of water per quart of soup. From here on out these steps are for pressure canning the soup. 
6. Keep soup hot. Pack hot soup into hot jars, leaving 1 inch of headspace. Adjust lids. Process in a pressure canner at 10 pounds pressure. Process pints for 75 minutes, quarts for 90 minutes. This recipe will yield 4 quarts, but is easily halved. 
7. Before serving from a processed can: add 1-1/2 cups water to each quart of soup. Boil, uncovered at least 10 minutes before tasting or serving. As always, it's a good idea to consult the fine folks at the National Center for Home Food Preservation for detailed information on pressure canning. Check the site especially if you've never pressure canned before. Not only can you accidentally poison everyone if you screw up, you can also burn the shit out of yourself or explode your kitchen. Remember, we're trained professionals working in a controlled environment. 

Slow Cooker Creamy Ham and Potatoes by The Wife

     In a feat of scheduling wizardry, the school districts where the husband and I work PLUS the school district in which we live all have their Spring Breaks at different times. Last week, Joel was on break. This week, I am on break. I don’t even know when our town has break; I just know it wasn't this week or last week because the buses were running. Anyway, my being home alone means I’m expected to do some cooking. Joel requested ham and potatoes (we've been working through a ten pound Honey Baked ham for 2 weeks now), and I found this REALLY easy Creamy Ham and Potatoes recipe (as always, notes and changes are in blue):

Slow Cooker Creamy Ham and Potatoes
via Taste of Home Slow Cooker

Ingredients

• 4 medium red potatoes, thinly sliced (Potatoes are potatoes. We didn’t have any red ones, so I used what we did have – I don’t even know what they were. To thinly slice the potatoes, I used the mandolin.)
• 2 medium onions, finely chopped (Mine were of the smaller variety. Regardless, they had me crying.)
• 1 ½ cups cubed fully cooked ham
• 2 tablespoons butter
• 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
• 1 teaspoon ground mustard (Yeah…Somehow that’s not what I read this morning. I used a teaspoon of spicy brown mustard. No harm, no foul.)
• ½ teaspoon salt (Omitted. I think the ham and the can of cream soup contributes plenty of salt, thank you.)
• ½ teaspoon pepper
• 1 can (10 ¾ ounces) condensed cream of celery soup, undiluted (I made an executive decision here. This is called Creamy Ham and POTATOES. I had a can of cream of POTATO soup. That’s what I used even though cream of celery was available.)
• 1 1/3 cups of water (Just fill the soup can with water.)
• 1 cup (4 ounces) shredded cheddar cheese – optional (Cheese is never optional.)

Directions

1. In a 3-qt slow cooker (I actually used the right size!), layer potatoes, onions, and ham.
2. In a large saucepan, melt butter. Stir in flour, mustard, salt (omitted), and pepper until smooth. Combine soup and water gradually into flour mixture. Bring to a boil; cook and stir for 2 minutes or until thickened and bubbly. Pour over ham.
3. Cover and cook on low for 8-9 hours (8 hours was more than enough time for the potatoes to completely disintegrate) or until potatoes are tender (disintegrated). If desired, sprinkle with cheese before serving (only a Communist doesn't desire cheese).

Good times!

Herbed Cheese Scones

     I loves me some scones. I used to think scones were just something stodgy people from England grimly chewed while they drank their tea. Unless someone proves otherwise, I'm going to continue thinking that. However, I have found that they are versatile and tremendously easy to make. Many people are surprised when I tell them I've never made a sweet scone. All the scones I've made to this point are savory. Granted, I've only made one other kind of scone, ham and cheddar. This particular recipe came out of Bon Appetit magazine. I made a lot of changes, so I have no idea what the original recipe tastes like. Mine were great, so I imagine theirs is ok. As always, any notes and changes are in blue.

Herbed Cheese Scones
via Bon Appetit

Ingredients

• 1 tablespoon baking powder
• 1-1/2 teaspoons kosher salt
• 1/2 teaspoon paprika
• 4 cups all-purpose flour, plus more
• 1 cup (2 sticks) chilled, unsalted butter, cut into pieces (I'm going to be honest. I don't ever use unsalted butter. I don't even use less salt most times. I live dangerously)
• 8 ounces provolone cheese, grated (no provolone in the house. I figured blue cheese would work in this recipe, so I went with 6 ounces blue and 2 ounces of butterkase cheese)
• 2 tablespoons finely chopped chives (we used green onions in place of the chive)
• 1 tablespoon finely chopped fresh rosemary (we used 1 teaspoon dried)
• 1 tablespoon finely chopped fresh thyme (we used 1 teaspoon dried)
• 4 large eggs
• 3/4 cup heavy cream, plus more

Directions

1. Pulse baking powder, salt, paprika, and 4 cups flour in a food processor until combined (HAHAHAHAHAHA. No.) add butter and pulse until the texture of coarse meal with a few pea-size pieces of butter remain (I just cranked the Kitchenaid with the regular blade. I learned not to go straight to 5 or you are cleaning up the counter. And the walls.)
2. Transfer mixture to a large bowl and mix in cheese, chives, rosemary and thyme. Make a well in the center; add eggs and 3/4 cup cream. Using a fork, blend eggs and cream, then slowly incorporate dry ingredients until a shaggy dough forms.

   

   Wrong Shaggy.
   

   
   

   

   Zoinks! Still the wrong Shaggy.

   Be careful not to overwork dough (Overwork is not something that happens much with me)
3. Turn out dough on a lightly floured surface and press into an 8" square about 1" thick (I didn't make mine into a square. It was more of a "splat"). Using a floured chef's knife, cut into 16 squares and divide between two parchment-lined baking sheets (I am openly defying the recipe at this point. I used the ring from a quart jar lid to cut CIRCULAR scones. NOW WHAT, BON APPETIT?) Wrap with plastic and chill 2 hours (the scones, but if you want to kick back for a couple of hours, go right ahead)
4. Preheat oven to 400F. Brush tops of scones with cream and bake, rotating baking sheets halfway through, until golden brown on tops and bottoms. This will take about 20-25 minutes (I went 30 just to be difficult)

Good times!

Beef Wellington and Sauteed Potatoes

     There are times when I feel like working outside of my comfort zone. Those are times when I want to dabble in recipes outside what would be considered my skill set, if not my budget. Beef Wellington is one of those recipes. It just sounds fancy and expensive. Fortunately, my close, personal friend Gordon Ramsay has provided me with an excellent recipe. I took that recipe and screwed around with it to fit my budget and what I had on hand. The end result? I call it a success. I've never actually had a proper Beef Wellington, so I can't say how close I got. I do know it looked and tasted great, so that's what really matters. Be warned, this recipe does qualify as a PITA (Pain In The Ass). As always, notes and substitutions are in blue. 

Beef Wellington and Sauteed Potatoes
via my close, personal friend, Gordon Ramsay

Ingredients

• 1 lb beef fillet (most boneless roasts work. We're not dumping the money on a fillet) 
• 1 lb flat mushrooms (mushrooms are actually pretty round, so we had trouble with this. We wound up using baby bellas)
• 4-8 slices Parma ham (we just gleefully ingored this and used thinly sliced peppered turkey) 
• English (Dijon) mustard for brushing meat 
• 8 oz puff pastry (save yourself the trouble and just buy a box of ready-made puff pastry) 
• 2 egg yolks 
• Approx 8 Charlotte/New potatoes (those are potatoes that we never have in the house. I think we used some form of gold potato)
• 1 clove garlic, crushed 
• 1 sprig thyme (we went with rosemary and thought it was great) 
• Salt and pepper 
• Olive oil 
• Mustard vinaigrette, optional (so optional we didn't even bother considering using it)

Directions

1. Pre-heat the oven to 400F.

2. Heat some oil in a large pan and quickly fry the seasoned beef all over until it's brown. Remove and allow to cool. (The point of this is simply to sear the beef and give it a nice crust, you don't want to cook the meat at this stage). Allow to cool and brush generously with the mustard.

3. Roughly chop the mushrooms and blend in a food processor to form a puree. Scrape the mixture into a hot, dry pan and allow the water to evaporate. When sufficiently dry (the mixture should be sticking together easily), set aside and cool.

4. Roll out a generous length of cling film (that's UK for plastic wrap. They have different terms for things that we don't use. i.e. boot=trunk, lift=elevator, tallywhacker=pecker froynaden=butter knife), lay out the four slices of Parma ham (or turkey), each one slightly overlapping the last. With a pallet knife (pallet knife. See what I'm talking about? I use a pallet knife for spreading caulk. I just used a spatula, which in the UK, means "kneecap") spread the mushroom mixture evenly over the ham.

5. Place the beef fillet in the middle and keeping a tight hold of the cling film from the outside edge, neatly roll the parma ham and mushrooms over the beef into a tight barrel shape. Twist the ends to secure the cling film. Refrigerate for 10 -15 minutes, this allows the Wellington to set and helps keep the shape.

6. Roll out the pastry quite thinly to a size which will cover your beef. Unwrap the meat from the cling film. Egg wash the edge of the pastry and place the beef in the middle. Roll up the pastry, cut any excess off the ends and fold neatly to the 'underside'. Turnover and egg wash over the top. Chill again to let the pastry cool, approximately 5 minutes. Egg wash again before baking at 400F for 35 - 40 minutes. Rest 8 -10 minutes before slicing (the Wellington, not you. Stop being so lazy).

It's almost as if I know what I'm doing.

7. Par boil the potatoes in salted water. Quarter them and leave the skin on. Sauté in olive oil and butter with the garlic and thyme, until browned and cooked through. Season. Remove the thyme and garlic before serving (that is not happening in our house. Garlic and herbs are never left behind).

8. Serve hearty slices of the Wellington alongside the sautéed potatoes. A classic mustard vinaigrette makes a great dressing (which we would not be bothered to make since this recipe was a Colossal Pain In The Ass).

Whoever made this meme needs to be punished savagely
for failing to use an apostrophe in "it's."
Good Times!

Baked Pasta Frittata

     I really like the idea of baked pasta, but it's just not something we do much in our house. I'm not sure what came over me to decide on this recipe. I think I was looking for some sort of pasta casserole and saw this. I had most of the ingredients in the house and had solid substitutions for the ingredients that were not on hand.  The result was not bad. The smoked sausage gave it a nice savory flavor. I think this would be good if I swapped in some spinach or kale. It was a touch on the heavy side and made for a very filling meal. I'll try it again, but I have the feeling this will be one of those recipes I'm endlessly swapping parts on. As always, changes and notes are in blue.

Baked Pasta Frittata 
via The Essential Pasta Cookbook

Ingredients

• 1 oz butter
• 4 oz mushrooms, sliced
• 6 eggs
• 1 green pepper, seeded and chopped (the Wife's not a huge fan of green peppers, so we used a yellow bell pepper)
• 4 oz ham, sliced (we decided we had a surplus of smoked sausages in the freezer, so we used a 7 oz smoked sausage, halved and sliced)
• 1 cup cream or milk (we went with heavy cream)
• 3-1/2 oz spaghetti, cooked and chopped (amazingly enough, we did not have spaghetti in the house. We used rotini instead)
• 2 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley
• 1/4 cup freshly grated Parmesan (right. Freshly poured out of the jar of Parmesan is more like it)

Directions

1. Preheat the oven to 350F. Lightly brush a flan dish with oil or melted butter (flan dish? Didn't have one on hand. I must have left it in the trunk of my Rolls Royce when I had the butler take it to be serviced. Please. I used my trusty cast iron skillet)
2. Melt the butter in a frying pan, add the mushrooms and cook over low heat for 2-3 minutes.  Add the pepper and cook for 1 minute. Stir in the meat. Remove the pan from the heat and allow the mixture to cool slightly. 
3. In a small bowl, whisk the eggs, cream and salt and pepper to taste. Stir in the pasta, parsley and mushroom mixture and pour into the prepared dish. Sprinkle with Parmesan and bake for 25-30 minutes. 

Good times!

Cheesy Broccoli Cauliflower Casserole

     As often as I repost recipes from Taste of Home Everyday Light Meals, I figure I'm eventually going to get a lucrative endorsement deal. Or a cease and desist order from their lawyers. Either way, until I hear otherwise, I'm going to keep sharing recipes I've used and abused from this book. This is everything you'd want from a casserole: veggies, meat and cheese with a nice crust. We absolutely destroyed this the night we served it. The wife, myself and a guest ate about 2/3 of this before falling asleep at the table. As always, changes and notes are in blue.

Cheesy Broccoli Cauliflower Bake
via Taste of Home Everyday Light Meals

Ingredients

• 1 tablespoon butter
• 4-1/2 tablespoons flour
• 1-1/4 cup 1% milk (we used 2%)
• 3/4 cup shredded reduced-fat cheddar cheese
• 1/3 cup grated Parmesan cheese
• 1 package (10 ounces) frozen broccoli florets, thawed (we used fresh from the garden, we steamed the broccoli before adding it to the recipe)
• 1 package (10 ounces) frozen cauliflowerets, thawed (the cauliflower in our garden wasn't ready to harvest yet so we used a bag of frozen mixed Italian veggies. It had cauliflower, lima beans, carrots, etc)
• 1 cup cubed fully cooked lean ham (had some Honey-Baked Ham in the freezer. Score!)
• Butter-flavored nonstick cooking spray (just used regular canola oil non-stick cooking spray)

Directions

1. In a saucepan, melt butter. Stir in flour until smooth; gradually add the milk. Bring to a boil; cook and stir for 1-2 minutes or until thickened. Remove from heat. Add cheeses and stir until melted. 
2. Place vegetables in a 2 quart baking dish coated with non-stick cooking spray. Sprinkle with ham. Pour sauce over ham.

   

   Just before the sauce goes on. Looking good so far!

3. Place bread crumbs in a bowl; spray with butter flavored cooking spray (or just regular cooking spray. It's just a casserole; no need to get overly fancy) Sprinkle crumbs around edge of casserole.
4. Bake, uncovered, at 350F for 25-30 minutes or until heated through and bubbly (we let it go for 40 minutes so it was good and molten when we got it out. That skin on the roof of your mouth will eventually grow back, right?)

Good times!

Ham and Cheddar Scones (via BHG)

     I was minding my own business while the wife was paging through some old issues of Better Homes and Gardens. It's normally a source of great amusement to see the horrifying things people do to their homes in the name of decoration. These are not middle-class decorators. We generally just laugh at these people's homes and then look at the recipes. It was this particular recipe for scones from a two year old issue that caused the wife to ask me to make them. She loves baked goods. Fortunately, I had some ham in the fridge that needed to be used right away. The scones turned out great. I think with a bit of butter, or some cream cheese and a chutney, they'd be even better. Word of warning, keep working the dough. It's not going to want to stick together. Resist adding anything.

Ham and Cheddar Scones
(via Better Homes and Gardens)

Ingredients

• 1 3/4 cups flour
• 1/4 cup whole wheat flour
• 2 teaspoons baking powder
• 1 teaspoon sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 cup butter
• 1/2 cup shredded sharp cheddar cheese (2 oz.)
• 1/4 cup diced cooked ham
• 1 tablespoon chopped fresh dill or 1 tsp. dried dillweed
• 3/4 cup fat free sour cream
• 1egg, lightly beaten
• 1 tablespoon Dijon-style mustard

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 375F. Line a baking sheet with parchment (if you've got that parchment on one side and foil on the other kind of paper, you want the parchment side up. You probably already know that, but I'm going to forget and I'm putting this note here to remind myself); set aside. 
2. In a large bowl combine flour, whole wheat flour, baking powder, sugar, baking soda, and salt. Using a pastry blender or two knives, cut in butter until mixture resembles coarse crumbs (I absolutely need to get one of those pastry cutters for this sort of thing. It's a colossal pain in the ass to do this step with two knives). Stir in cheese, ham, and dill. Combine sour cream, egg, and mustard; add all at once to flour mixture. Using a fork, stir just until mixture is moistened, Do not overwork (I assure you, this is not a directive that needs to be given to me).
3. Turn dough out onto a lightly floured surface. Knead dough by folding and gently pressing it for four to six strokes or just until dough holds together (this is why I hate making scones. The dough will fight you every step of the way. It magically will be horrifyingly sticky, but not want to come together into a cohesive dough. I had to knead it way more than the recipe directed. They must employ some sort of dough wizardry over there to get it to hold in a half dozen kneads)
4. Pat or lightly roll dough until 3/4 inch thick. Cut dough with a floured 2-1/2- to 3-inch biscuit cutter (biscuit cutter? Ain't nobody got time for that. I used the ring from one of my pint canning jars. That's about 2-3/4 inches). Reroll scraps as necessary, dipping cutter into flour between cuts (they are not kidding when they tell you to do this. Keep everything floured. Flour the cutter, flour the counter. Hell, you  probably should go ahead and flour the walls just in case). Place dough circles 1 inch apart on prepared baking sheet. 
5.  Bake for 18 to 20 minutes or until golden (My batch took 20). Cool slightly on a wire rack. Serve warm. If desired, sprinkle with fresh dill. Makes 10 to 12 scones (if you are crafty, resourceful, and handsome like me, you used the canning ring. That means you'll probably end up with 16 scones).

Good times!

Monday Recipe: Chicken Cordon Bleu Stuffing Casserole

     We've been trying to burn through some surplus ham for a few days now. This weekend I thought maybe I could make a chicken cordon bleu for dinner. Then I decided that was a lot like work. So naturally, I completely lost my mind and decided to completely wing a recipe loosely based on chicken cordon bleu. It turned out far better than I expected. It was a warm, tasty and satisfying meal. Truly, is there anything more definitive of the middle class than the humble casserole? This is super easy to make and the herbs really give it a nice pop of flavor.

Chicken Cordon Bleu Stuffing Casserole

Ingredients

• 3 cooked chicken breasts, cut into 1" cubes
• 2 cups cooked ham, diced
• 1 cup grated Swiss cheese
• 2 6-oz. boxes of Herb de Provence Stuffing Mix (if not available, you're going to need to add those herbs yourself)
• 1 can low-sodium Cream of Mushroom soup
• 2 cups chicken stock
• 1 tablespoon melted margarine

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350F
2. In a large mixing bowl, combine all ingredients and toss so everything is coated
3. Pour into baking dish coated with non-stick cooking spray
4. Bake for about 35-40 minutes depending on how crispy you like the top.

Good times!

Recipe Monday: Macaroni & Cheese with Worcestershire and Mustard (via Bon Appetit)

     I posted a picture of this recipe on my Facebook page and it was fairly well received by both of the people who follow it. I found this recipe in Bon Appetit and decided it would be perfect for the shindig I hosted last Friday. I made a couple of small changes and it turned out wonderfully. I added a cup of diced ham.  As always, changes to the recipe will be highlighted in blue.
     I was expecting super gooey mac and cheese and ended up with something more akin to a casserole. It is rich and dense enough that it can stand on its own as an entree. Most importantly, it is super easy to make. I doubled this recipe with no issues.

Macaroni & Cheese with Worcestershire and Mustard
(via Bon Appetit)

Ingredients

• 1/2 pound small elbow macaroni (about 2 cups)
• 2 tablespoons (1/4 stick) butter
• 2 1/2 cups (packed) grated extra-sharp cheddar cheese (10 ounces)
• 2 5-ounce cans evaporated milk
• 3 large eggs
• 1 tablespoon prepared mustard
• 1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce (I used a tablespoon)
• 1/8 teaspoon cayenne pepper
• 1 cup diced ham

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350°F. Butter 8x8x2-inch glass baking dish. 
2. Cook macaroni in medium pot of boiling salted water until just tender but still firm to bite, stirring occasionally. 
3. Drain macaroni and place in large bowl. Add butter and toss until melted. Mix in 2 cups cheddar cheese (and ham, if using)
4. Beat milk, eggs, mustard, Worcestershire sauce, and cayenne pepper in medium bowl to blend. 
5. Stir egg mixture into macaroni. Transfer to prepared dish; sprinkle remaining 1/2 cup cheddar cheese over.
6. Bake macaroni until golden on top and set in center, about 1 hour.

The Great Ham Meltdown of 2010

     It was the night before Christmas Eve. I was preparing as much as I could for the huge meal I was cooking for my in-laws. The centerpiece would be a roasted ham that was to be brined overnight. I had done a lot of shopping for that meal and apparently was a bit lax in picking out the ham. When I pulled it from the fridge, I realized I had purchased a spiral cut ham. For brining purposes, I needed a whole ham.

     Some people might have handled it better. Some might have changed the meal up to utilize the spiral ham. Some might even have just gone back to the store and bought the correct ham. Those people are not me. I chose to completely melt down and go batshit crazy.

Actual photograph of the incident.

     I lamented the dinner, that was now ruined for all time. Nothing could possibly fix this. I screeched how brining a spiral cut ham would just result in ham soup. All hope was lost. Christmas Eve dinner was destroyed and we would just have to get pizzas from the fucking gas station in town.

     The wife attempted to calm me down. I was having no part of it. I recall her telling me to calm the hell down and just go get another ham. I would have no part of it. I'm not sure exactly what my damage was, but I thundered, raging and pouting around the house for the better part of an hour before just going out and buying another ham.

Good times!