Thank Heavens, Another Slow-Cooker Beef Stew Recipe aka Okayest Ever Slow-Cooker Beef Stew

Last week, the school year drew to a close and the Wife and I breathed a heavy sigh of relief. We have the whole summer ahead of us and things are returning to some vague semblance of normalcy. We thought, "what could we possibly do to help drive things back to that wonderfully boring normal?" SLOW COOKER BEEF STEW was the resounding answer. And I'm not going to blow beef scented smoke up your asses and claim it's "Best Ever" because it's not. It's good. It's serviceable. It is mind numbingly easy to make and will fill you up. That's it. That's all I can say. I've got months of content I owe you, so expect a treasure like this every now and then. Much like this recipe, this post is vaguely satisfying filler until I can make something more substantial. As always, any notes are in blue.

Okayest Ever Slow Cooker Beef Stew

Ingredients

• 1 pound beef stew meat
• 1 bag (about 1 pound) mixed frozen stew vegetables (i.e. carrots, celery, onions, potatoes)
• 1 can (10.5 ounces) cream of mushroom soup
• 1 can (14.5 ounces) diced tomatoes, drained
• 1 onion, chopped
• 1 large potato, cut into 1" cubes
• 1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
• 1 teaspoon garlic powder
• 1/2 teaspoon black pepper
• 1 cup water (in retrospect, I suppose I could have just not drained the tomatoes and omitted this step, but I justify it in the reduction of sodium)
• 1 heaping tablespoon corn starch
• 2 tablespoons cold water

Directions

1. Unceremoniously dump everything but the last two ingredients into a slow cooker. Don't even bother browning the meat. That's where we are right now. We're just getting shit done.
2. Cook on HIGH for 4-1/2 hours because I don't have the patience to wait for 8-10 hours on LOW. 
3. Take the corn starch and water in a small bowl and whisk it together until the corn starch is completely dissolved. At the end of the strew cooking time, stir in the corn starch slurry until things thicken up. 
4. That's it. Slop it in a bowl and grimly shovel it down in silence.

Good times!

Zesty Crabuluxe Cold Pasta Salad

     To me, one of the quintessential summer dishes is the cold pasta salad. However, they seem to come in two varieties: drowning in a vinegar based liquid, or caulked together with horrifying amounts of mayonnaise. I wanted to make my own pasta salad that was lighter on the dressing, but still packed a bunch of flavor. I decided to combine some Miracle Whip with some jalapeno sauce that I have stashed away. The Wife and I were decidedly pleased with the results. My only complaint was that we used linguine. We didn't have any non-noodle pastas available and it was hard to get everything mixed together. The flavor was great. The jalapeno sauce packed plenty of flavor, but not a lot of heat. It was very tasty and the dressing was mercifully light. Give it a try and see how you like it. And remember, if you like it half as much as we did, then we liked it twice as much as you. As always, notes are in blue.

Zesty Crabuluxe Cold Pasta Salad

Ingredients

• 1 pound pasta (we used linguine, but I'd suggest macaroni, rotini or shells. It's really hard to get the cold ingredients mixed well through noodle-type pasta)
• 4 tablespoons whipped dressing (aka Miracle Whip)
• 4 tablespoons jalapeno sauce (click on the link for the recipe. I'm not sure what you'd use for an equivalent. Maybe a nice jalapeno based salsa)
• 1 pound of Crabuluxe, broken into small pieces (imitation crab meat. If you've got the money for a pound of real crab, go nuts)
• 3 dashes Worcestershire sauce
• 1 teaspoon garlic powder
• 1/2 red onion, chopped
• 1 medium carrot, peeled and shredded
• 1/2 cup frozen peas
• 1 rib celery, finely chopped
• 1 cup shredded Swiss cheese

Directions

1. Cook pasta until al dente. Add the frozen peas to the pot during the last few minutes of cooking. You do not want the pasta to be mushy. Make sure it still has some bite. Drain and allow to cool.
2. In a small bowl, mix the whipped dressing, jalapeno sauce, Worcestershire sauce, and garlic powder.
3. In a large bowl add the cooled pasta and peas, Crabuluxe, cheese and veggies. Add the dressing mixture and toss to incorporate all the ingredients. Put in the fridge and allow to chill for at least one hour.

Good times!

Mushroom and Chive Ravioli

     The Wife is somewhat predictable about certain things. If I ask what movie she wants to watch, it's always Pride and Prejudice or Ghostbusters. If she's going to read a book, likely it will be about the English royalty. If she's going to watch TV, it's going to be a baseball game. When it comes to food, it's pasta. Left to her own devices, it will be mac & cheese. If I'm cooking, it's pasta with red sauce and meatballs. I always tremble at that request because it is Labor Intensive. It's borderline P.I.T.A. However, she is wonderful and I love her very much, so I will indulge her. Plus, I really like pasta and meatballs, too. I already have a good red sauce and meatballs recipe I use, so I just needed to come up with a pasta. She loves ravioli and she loves mushrooms, so I threw together a filling for some ravioli for her. The end result was 54 delicious ravioli. Fortunately, they freeze really well. Just lay them on sheets of waxed paper with a dusting of flour! The basic pasta recipe came out of the KitchenAid pasta roller instructions. The filling is all mine. I hope you like it as much as much as we did! As always, notes are in blue.

Mushroom and Chive Ravioli

Ingredients

• For Filling
• 1 lb. ricotta cheese
• 8 ounces mushrooms, finely chopped (use whatever kind of mushroom you want. We used regular white mushrooms)
• 6-8 whole chives, finely chopped (use both the white and green part)
• 1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
• 2 tablespoons olive oil

• For Ravioli Pasta
• 4 large eggs
• 1 tablespoon water
• 3-1/2 cups sifted all-purpose flour (I actually did sift the flour for once!)
• 1/2 teaspoon salt

Directions

For Filling

1. Heat olive oil in a large pan. Add chive and sautee for 2-3 minutes.
2. Add mushrooms and sautee for another 2-3 minutes.
3. Add Worcestershire sauce and sautee for one more minute. 

   

   Shroomin'!

4. Allow to cool for a few minutes, then put mushroom and chive mixture in a bowl with the ricotta and stir to incorporate.

   

   Now you need to resist the urge to just shovel this by the spoonful into your gaping maw.

For Pasta

1. Place eggs, water, flour and salt in mixing bowl. Add the beater blade, turn to speed 2 and mix for 30 seconds (we're assuming you have a KitchenAid here. If not, just mix by hand at whatever your personal "speed 2" setting would be)
2. Swap the beater blade for the dough hook. Turn to speed 2 and knead for 2 minutes (or if you're not lazy like me, just knead it by hand.)
3. Remove dough from bowl and hand-knead for 1-2 minutes (I actually did this. I am not a total slug.)
4. Divide dough into 4 pieces. Run each through a pasta roller until you his "5" (I'm hoping pasta rollers have universal measurements, because I went to 5 on the KitchenAid pasta roller. I apologize in advance if you end up with tissue paper)

Assembly

1. Take 2 rolled out sheets of pasta. On one, start dropping 1 tablespoon scoops of the filling at even intervals along the dough (Our ravioli ended up being about 2-3/4" across on the average. Use smaller scoops if you want an obscene amount of smaller ravioli.)

   

   Notice the precision spacing between the filling. That's because The Wife did this part.
   I was busy rolling out pasta.

2. Take a basting brush and brush water on the pasta in between the filling. Lay the other sheet of pasta over the top and press down in between the filling, sealing the two sheets and working out any air bubbles.
3. Use a ravioli wheel cutter to cut the pasta into squares (If you already have one of those things that stuffs and seals the ravioli all in one, you probably are way past anything I can offer you and should go to a site where they know what they are doing). If you're using my measurements, you'll end up with about 54 ravioli.
4. Cook like them you would any other ravioli. 

Those are the steady hands of a neurosurgeon.
Or an English teacher.
Good times!

Chicken and Broccoli with Lemon Vinaigrette

The Wife really likes lemon. I mean really, really likes lemon. She also really likes broccoli. And pasta. She also likes reading Jane Austen books, so I guess nobody's perfect. I'm not sure where I'm going with this.  Anyway, we had a pound of broccoli and a bag of lemons that weren't going to survive much longer so I went to work making a new recipe. I figured I would go with the whole salty/tart vibe. The result was a very tasty pasta dish. Though I served it hot, I imagine this would be a pretty good cold pasta dish for summer. Give it a try! Tell me what you think. As long as it's positive feedback. I figure as long as nobody is paying me to do this, I don't have to listen to any negativity. As always, notes are in blue.

Chicken and Broccoli
with Lemon Vinaigrette

Ingredients

• 1/2 cup olive oil (use as many virgins as you like)
• 1 teaspoon balsamic vinegar
• 1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
• juice of 4 medium lemons
• 1/2 teaspoon dried basil
• 2 small crowns broccoli (about 1 pound)
• 1-1/2 pound chicken (I used breast meat. There's no reason you can't use thighs if you prefer)
• 3 cloves garlic, minced
• 1 teaspoon capers, drained
• 1/4 cup grated Parmesan
• 1 pound rotini pasta
• 1/4 cup shredded Parmesan (for garnish)

Directions

1. Combine first 5 ingredients in a bowl. Whisk to incorporate.
2. In a large pan, heat 1/4 cup of the vinaigrette. Add garlic and capers. Cook for about 3 minutes. Add the chicken. Cook until chicken is cooked through and juices run clear. 
3. Drain the liquid from the chicken and cook another minute or two until the chicken starts to get a bit of brown.
4. Cook the broccoli however you prefer (Some like to steam it. We prefer to give it a quick boil. Use a microwave bag of frozen if you want. I won't tell anyone.)
5. Cook the pasta until al dente (I went to school with him. Nice guy). Drain the pasta and return it to the pot you cooked it in (If you didn't cook the pasta in a pot, I guess you're screwed. Just throw everything out and order a pizza)
6. Now that you have a pot full of drained pasta, add the chicken, broccoli, a generous 1/2 cup of the vinaigrette (you'll have some extra vinaigrette. That's fine. You can use more on the pasta if you'd like or maybe use it as a salad dressing), then add the 1/2 cup grated Parmesan. Give it all a stir until the cheese incorporates. The pot should still be hot enough to melt the cheese.
7. Garnish with the shredded Parmesan when serving.

Good times!

Lemon-Chile Seafood Delight

     Some days I really want something light, but full of flavor. I also want it quickly and with minimal effort. This recipe is the culmination of those desires. It came together in about a half an hour. Aside from the rice I served it on, this dish is phenomenally low on calories. The lemon and sriracha gave this dish a nice kick. The Wife certainly enjoyed it, so I'll call it a winner. When naming it, I decided to go with one of those goofy sounding names you find in Chinese restaurants. I thought "Monkeys Chasing the Heaven's Gate on Fire" was good, but it sounded too much like something you'd buy at a fireworks stand. Anyway, give it a try if you want. Hopefully you will like it as much as we did. As always, notes are in blue.

Lemon-Chile Seafood Delight

Ingredients

• 12 ounces shrimp, tails removed (I used frozen shrimp, since fresh is prohibitively expensive right now. If you use fresh, make sure to cook them until they are pink. Also, save the tails to use later to make shrimp stock!)
• 1 pound imitation crab meat ("Crabuluxe," as we call it. Feel free to use real crab meat if you want. Make sure to have the butler get the Ferrari waxed while he's out picking it up.)
• 2 tablespoons vegetable oil
• 1 pound fresh broccoli 
• 1 can (14 ounce) stir-fry vegetables, drained
• 3 cloves garlic, finely chopped
• 1" piece of fresh ginger, peeled and grated
• 1 tablespoon Sriracha (we used our own home-made Sriracha)
• 1 teaspoon fish sauce (use Worcestershire sauce if you don't have fish sauce. Use soy sauce if you don't have either of those. If you have none, just stop and go out for a pizza.)
• Slurry of 2 tablespoons corn starch mixed with 2 tablespoons cold water

Directions

1. Steam broccoli until it starts to get tender. You still want a little snap on it. 
2. Heat oil in a large pan to medium-high heat. Add garlic and ginger, stir for a minute or two or until garlic begins to turn golden. 
3. Add the stir-fry veggies and sriracha. Stir and let cook for another 3-4 minutes.
4. Add the lemon juice, fish sauce and seafood. Stir to mix and let cook for 2-3 more minutes (longer if you are using fresh seafood)
5. Add broccoli and slurry. Remove from heat and stir until sauce thickens. Serve over rice. Thank me at your convenience. 

Good times!

Wife's Choice Bloody Mary Mix

     The Wife isn't a big drinker, but she does enjoy a Bloody Mary something fierce. This is fortuitous considering the vast overstock of tomatoes we are enjoying right now. We've long considered juicing the tomatoes, but I felt that was a fairly boring way to use up produce. Once we decided on a format that worked well with booze, my opinion changed. This particular mix has just enough of a kick without being overly spicy. It pairs wonderfully well with bison grass vodka, but feel free to use your vodka of choice. A pepper or bacon vodka would probably be great here as well. As always, any notes will be in blue.

Wife's Choice Bloody Mary Mix

Ingredients

• Around 6-7 pounds of tomatoes (enough to make 2-3 quarts of juice)
• 2-1/2 teaspoons dill weed
• 2-1/2 teaspoons celery seed
• 1-1/4 teaspoons fresh cracked black pepper
• 2-1/2 teaspoons Worcestershire sauce
• 1-1/4 teaspoons Tabasco sauce
• 1-1/2 teaspoons salt
• Lemon juice
• Salt

Directions

1. Run tomatoes through a mill to juice them. Run the pulp through the mill a second time to get all possible juice from the tomatoes (if you have a juicer, even better. We used the food mill attachment for the Kitchenaid)
2. Pour the juice into a large non-reactive pot. Bring to a low boil and reduce to a simmer; add all the seasonings and stir well (feel free to adjust seasonings to taste. You're not going to hurt my feelings)
3. Using quart jars, put 1 teaspoon of lemon juice and 1/2 teaspoon salt in each jar. Fill jar with Bloody Mary mix to within 1/2" of top. 
4. Seal jars and process in boiling water bath for 45 minutes. Remove to a wire rack to cool and wait for the rewarding "thunk" noise when they seal up for good. (As always, if you're not familiar or comfortable with canning, you should head over to the National Center for Home Food Preservation and read up on canning. Remember: if you poison yourself, it's totally not my fault)

BONUS RECIPE:

Bison Grass Bloody Mary

1. In a pint glass filled about 1/4 with ice, add 1-1/2 ounces of Sobieski Bison Grass Vodka (unflavored vodka will obviously work, but the bison grass adds a nice earthy and herbal flavor that works perfectly with the Bloody Mary mix)
2. Top glass with Bloody Mary mix; stir
3. Garnish with a piece of celery

Good times!

Lemon-Pepper Chicken and Squash with Lemony Couscous

     The garden is in full swing. We are starting to bring in around 3-5 pounds of produce daily. More importantly the wife is successfully keeping the squash bugs at bay.

I question her methods, but there's no denying their effectiveness.

     This has led to the problem that we now find ourselves struggling to find uses for the veggies before they go off or we are forced to can them. I suppose there are worse problems to have, like accidentally inhaling a bug while bike riding, but I love to complain. Anyways, we decided to just freestyle a recipe to burn through some surplus squash and zucchini and a container of leftover chicken. The end result had just the right hints of sweet and tangy. It was super easy to make and I would certainly make it again.

Lemon Pepper Chicken & Squash
with Lemony Couscous

Ingredients
Chicken

• 8 ounces shredded cooked chicken
• 8 ounces (about 2 small or 1 large) zucchini or yellow squash, cubed (we used both. We like to live on the edge)
• 2 cloves garlic, minced
• Juice of 1 lemon
• 1/2 teaspoon cracked black pepper or pepper melange
• 1/2 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
• 2 tablespoons butter
• 1/2 teaspoon lemon pepper
• 1 inch piece candied ginger, minced

Couscous

• 3/4 cup uncooked couscous
• Juice of 1 lemon
• A little less than 1 cup water
• 2 teaspoons butter

Directions

Chicken

1. Melt butter in a large skillet. Sautee garlic and ginger until garlic just starts turning brown. Add zucchini/squash and sautee 3-4 minutes.
2. Add chicken, and remaining ingredients from chicken section. Mix and sautee another 3-4 minutes.
3. Set aside and keep warm.

Couscous

1. Put lemon juice in a one cup measuring cup. Top with enough water to make one cup. 
2. Put water and butter in a saucepan and bring to a boil; stir in couscous, cover. Turn off the heat and let stand at least 5 minutes. Fluff before serving.

Throw a scoop of couscous on a plate and top with a scoop of the chicken mixture. 

I found that adding a couple of dashes of Tabasco really made for some
Good times!

Recipe Monday: Macaroni & Cheese with Worcestershire and Mustard (via Bon Appetit)

     I posted a picture of this recipe on my Facebook page and it was fairly well received by both of the people who follow it. I found this recipe in Bon Appetit and decided it would be perfect for the shindig I hosted last Friday. I made a couple of small changes and it turned out wonderfully. I added a cup of diced ham.  As always, changes to the recipe will be highlighted in blue.
     I was expecting super gooey mac and cheese and ended up with something more akin to a casserole. It is rich and dense enough that it can stand on its own as an entree. Most importantly, it is super easy to make. I doubled this recipe with no issues.

Macaroni & Cheese with Worcestershire and Mustard
(via Bon Appetit)

Ingredients

• 1/2 pound small elbow macaroni (about 2 cups)
• 2 tablespoons (1/4 stick) butter
• 2 1/2 cups (packed) grated extra-sharp cheddar cheese (10 ounces)
• 2 5-ounce cans evaporated milk
• 3 large eggs
• 1 tablespoon prepared mustard
• 1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce (I used a tablespoon)
• 1/8 teaspoon cayenne pepper
• 1 cup diced ham

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350°F. Butter 8x8x2-inch glass baking dish. 
2. Cook macaroni in medium pot of boiling salted water until just tender but still firm to bite, stirring occasionally. 
3. Drain macaroni and place in large bowl. Add butter and toss until melted. Mix in 2 cups cheddar cheese (and ham, if using)
4. Beat milk, eggs, mustard, Worcestershire sauce, and cayenne pepper in medium bowl to blend. 
5. Stir egg mixture into macaroni. Transfer to prepared dish; sprinkle remaining 1/2 cup cheddar cheese over.
6. Bake macaroni until golden on top and set in center, about 1 hour.

Monday Recipe: Pistachio Crusted Tofu

     Every now and then I decide to go completely off book in the kitchen. This time it was because I sitting on a block of tofu that had been in my fridge a Long Time. It was a use it or lose it kind of thing. Normally I use tofu as a filler in my stir-fry. I didn't have any meat prepped so I decided to give meatless a try. This turned out far better than I could have hoped for. I wound up serving it over a bag of microwave-steamer Chinese-style vegetables.  One of my students tried it when I brought leftovers to school and has been after me to give him the recipe ever since. Here it is. 

Pistachio Crusted Tofu

Ingredients

• 1 block firm tofu (about 14 ounces)
• 1/2 cup sour cream
• 1/4t 5-spice powder
• 1t Worcestershire sauce
• 1T Sriracha

For crust:

• 1/2 cup panko bread crumbs
• 1/4 cup shredded unsweetened coconut
• 1 cup chopped pistachios
• 1/4 cup finely grated Parmesan cheese

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 375F
2. Drain tofu and pat dry with paper towels. Slice into 1/2" thick slabs
3. Mix sour cream, 5-spice powder, Worcestershire sauce and Sriracha in a medium bowl
4. In another medium bowl, mix all ingredients for crust
5. Spread a thin layer of the sour cream mix on each slab of tofu. Cover both sides and edges. 
6. Press tofu into crust bowl. Cover slab completely with crust. Place on a greased cookie sheet.
7. Cook for about 30 minutes at 375F or until pistachios/coconut start to brown.

Good times!