T-Bird Hot Sauce

     Every year I plant way too many hot peppers and every year I find myself desperate to find ways to use them up. I have bags and bags of peppers that I've dried, but those really start to take up space. I am always looking for new and exciting ways to use up lots of peppers in one go. This particular sauce certainly fits the bill, using five dozen peppers. It also uses up some tamarind concentrate that I mistakenly bought when I was shopping for tahini. For whatever reason, I'm always mixing tahini and tamarind up, which generally doesn't end well in a recipe. Though very spicy, this sauce has a wonderful deep and mellow flavor underneath from the tamarind and guajilo. This is a go-to sauce for chicken or pork dishes. It's thick enough to hold up on the barbecue or hot wings. As for the name? I used Thai peppers in the recipe. I know "bird" specifically refers to the dried pepper, but the name was too good to pass up. "T" for Thai or Tamarind and "Bird" for the alternate pepper name. I am so damned clever it hurts. As always, notes are in blue.

Ingredients

• 1 tablespoon tomato paste
• 2 tablespoons red wine vinegar
• 1 Tablespoon tamarind concentrate
• 1 cup cider vinegar
• 1/3 cup water
• 60 Thai bird chili peppers, stemmed (cayenne or serrano can be substituted, but you may need to use less, as those peppers are generally larger)
• 1 dried Ancho chili
• 2 dried Guajillo chilis
• 4 tomatoes, chopped
• 1 onion, chopped
• 1 carrot, chopped
• 1 rib celery, chopped

Directions

1. Add all ingredients to a food processor (make sure it is a large capacity processor, at least 7 cups. 10 would be better, unless you're a fan of leaking and caustic messes. Caustic Mess would be an outstanding punk band name). Process until smooth.
2. Transfer mixture to a nonreactive pot and bring to a boil. Reduce to a simmer and let simmer for about 10 minutes. (If you're not planning on canning this sauce for storage, you're done. If you want to store this sauce long term, go on to the next steps)
3. Prepare a boiling water canner and submerge 4 half pint jars (or two full pint jars) to sterilize in the boiling water. (You can be doing this while the sauce is simmering)
4. Remove the jars and fill with the warm sauce. Leave 1/4" headspace in each jar.
5. Seal the jars with a 2 piece lid and process in the boiling water bath for 12 minutes (If you're doing full pints, go for about 16 minutes).
6. After 12 minutes, remove from the bath and set on a wire rack to cool. Eventually, you'll hear the satisfying "pop" that tells you the jar has sealed. If after a few hours, a jar hasn't sealed, put on a new lid and try reboiling for another 12 minutes. If it doesn't seal after that, just give up and use the sauce. It will hold for a long time in the fridge. Properly processed and sealed, the sauce is good for at least a year. As always, double check everything with the National Center for Home Food Preservation to ensure you don't poison anybody.

Good Times!

Zesty Crabuluxe Cold Pasta Salad

     To me, one of the quintessential summer dishes is the cold pasta salad. However, they seem to come in two varieties: drowning in a vinegar based liquid, or caulked together with horrifying amounts of mayonnaise. I wanted to make my own pasta salad that was lighter on the dressing, but still packed a bunch of flavor. I decided to combine some Miracle Whip with some jalapeno sauce that I have stashed away. The Wife and I were decidedly pleased with the results. My only complaint was that we used linguine. We didn't have any non-noodle pastas available and it was hard to get everything mixed together. The flavor was great. The jalapeno sauce packed plenty of flavor, but not a lot of heat. It was very tasty and the dressing was mercifully light. Give it a try and see how you like it. And remember, if you like it half as much as we did, then we liked it twice as much as you. As always, notes are in blue.

Zesty Crabuluxe Cold Pasta Salad

Ingredients

• 1 pound pasta (we used linguine, but I'd suggest macaroni, rotini or shells. It's really hard to get the cold ingredients mixed well through noodle-type pasta)
• 4 tablespoons whipped dressing (aka Miracle Whip)
• 4 tablespoons jalapeno sauce (click on the link for the recipe. I'm not sure what you'd use for an equivalent. Maybe a nice jalapeno based salsa)
• 1 pound of Crabuluxe, broken into small pieces (imitation crab meat. If you've got the money for a pound of real crab, go nuts)
• 3 dashes Worcestershire sauce
• 1 teaspoon garlic powder
• 1/2 red onion, chopped
• 1 medium carrot, peeled and shredded
• 1/2 cup frozen peas
• 1 rib celery, finely chopped
• 1 cup shredded Swiss cheese

Directions

1. Cook pasta until al dente. Add the frozen peas to the pot during the last few minutes of cooking. You do not want the pasta to be mushy. Make sure it still has some bite. Drain and allow to cool.
2. In a small bowl, mix the whipped dressing, jalapeno sauce, Worcestershire sauce, and garlic powder.
3. In a large bowl add the cooled pasta and peas, Crabuluxe, cheese and veggies. Add the dressing mixture and toss to incorporate all the ingredients. Put in the fridge and allow to chill for at least one hour.

Good times!

Master Ridley's Pepper Paste

     This particular concoction was my first foray into pepper sauces. I had a bumper crop of cayenne and needed to use them in bulk. The end result was my single most popular hot sauce recipe, at least among friends and coworkers. There is so much you can do with this. Toss it with melted butter and chicken wings and you'll never do hot wings any other way again. Mix it in chili for an extra punch. One of the guys at works just spreads it on his hamburger. You will not be the same after this. It has just enough heat and more than enough flavor. Since it's made with vinegar, it cans well, too. Just pack it in half-pint jars, making sure to work out the air bubbles. Then just process in a boiling water bath for 12-15 minutes (as always, consult the National Center for Home Food Preservation for tips on how not to get botulism). We actually have an open jar that's been in our fridge for over 2 years without going off. We just add leftovers from each season's batch. We figure in the next couple years it should achieve sentience. Remember, with great power comes great responsibility. And just who is Master Ridley, you ask? If you've read Fahrenheit 451, you'll know the reference: "Play the man, Master Ridley; we shall this day light such a candle, by God's grace, in England, as I trust shall never be put out."*

Master Ridley's Pepper Paste

Ingredients 
Ingredients can be easily multiplied for larger batches. A double batch of these ingredients should yield about a half pint of paste.

• 1 dried Guajillo pepper
• 10-12 Cayenne peppers (cut off and discard the stems and roughly chop. Don't remove the seeds unless you're a huge wuss. If that's the case, make sure you wear gloves and hike up your diaper, too)
• 2 grated baby carrots
• ½ teaspoon cumin
• 1 teaspoon seasoning salt
• 1 teaspoon garlic powder
• 3 tablespoons white vinegar

Directions

1. Combine ingredients in a food processor and blend until smooth 
2. Another tablespoon of vinegar can be added if the sauce is too thick for your liking.

* Nicholas Ridley was a bishop burned at the stake for heresy in 1555
Good times!

Shepherds Pie

     Shepherds Pie is a deceptive dish. It looks like it would be really simple. However, there's a fair bit of work that goes in to making this dish. It doesn't quite qualify as a PITA, but it's close. This particular version comes from my dear friend, Gordon Ramsay* over at Channel 4. While this dish is not terribly difficult to make, it is a bit labor intensive. It's worth the effort, as you end up with a delicious meal. As always, any notes or changes are in blue.

Shepherds Pie
via my close, personal friend, Gordon Ramsay

Ingredients

• 2 tbsp olive oil
• Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper (I actually have sea salt on hand! Amazing!)
• 1 lb. minced lean lamb (um...no. I'll be using lean ground beef. I'm not made of money)
• 1 large onion, finely grated
• 1 large carrot, finely grated
• 2 cloves garlic
• 2 tbsp Worcestershire sauce
• 1 tbsp tomato puree (I hope that meant tomato paste, because that's what I used)
• Handful of thyme sprigs, leaves picked (not a chance. I used 1 teaspoon dried)
• 1 sprig of rosemary, needles chopped (I used dried here, too)
• 1 cup red wine (I used a dry. I hate drinking dry wines, so I use them for cooking)
• 1-1/4 chicken stock
• 2 pounds Desiree potatoes, peeled and cut into chunks (I don't think that kind of potato is even real. I think Ramsay just made that up and figured nobody would call bullshit. I just used Russets)
• 3 tablespoons butter
• 2 egg yolks
• Parmesan, for grating (or a handy plastic jar, for shaking, since I don't keep block Parmesan on hand)
• 2 tablespoons olive oil
• Sea salt & freshly ground black pepper

Directions

1. Preheat the oven to 350F (180C, Gasmark 4)

2. Heat the oil in a large pan until hot. Season the meat and fry in the oil over moderate to high heat for 2-3 minutes. Stir the onions and carrot into the mince then grate the garlic in as well. Add the Worcestershire sauce, tomato puree (paste) and herbs and cook for 1-2 minutes, stirring constantly. Pour in the red wine and reduce until almost completely evaporated (if you opened a new bottle of wine for this recipe, just go ahead and drink it while you cook. That way, if you screw up, you'll be too shitfaced to care). Add the chicken stock, bring to the boil and simmer until the sauce has thickened

3. Meanwhile, cook the potatoes in boiling salted water until tender. Drain, then return to the hot pan over low heat to dry out briefly. Pass them through a potato ricer (that's a gadget I do not own. I just went ahead and mashed them with my trusty masher) then beat in the egg yolks, followed by about 2 tbsp grated Parmesan. Check for seasoning (don't just point to it on the counter and shout, "There it is!" Add it to the potatoes if needed). 

4. Spoon the meat into the bottom of a large ovenproof dish. Using a large spoon, layer the mashed potato generously on top of the meat, starting from the outside and working your way into the middle (if you try to layer from the middle out, you'll rip a hole in the universe. True story). Grate some extra Parmesan over and season. Fluff up the mash potato with a fork to make rough peaks. Bake in the oven for approximately 20 minutes, until bubbling and golden brown.

Good times!

*Gordon Ramsay is currently unaware I even exist. 

Cheese Filled Tortellini Soup

     It's always fun when The Wife takes over in the kitchen. She has gained a ton of confidence in her cooking lately. Generally, she just follows recipes word for word. Lately, she has taken to tinkering with recipes. This soup is one of those instances. I had to work a bit late, so she offered to make some soup for dinner to go along with some Herbed Swirl Bread I had made a couple days before. She nailed it with this soup. The garlic pepper was a great addition and she ended up with a flavorful and satisfying soup. Unfortunately, I don't think I'm off the hook for cooking duties. As always, any notes or changes are in blue.

Cheese-Filled Tortellini Soup
via: Better Crocker: The 300 Calorie Cookbook

Ingredients

• 2 tablespoons butter or margarine
• 1/4 cup chopped celery
• 1/4 cup chopped carrot
• 1/4 cup chopped onion
• 1 clove garlic, finely chopped (she used 1 heaping teaspoon of jarred garlic)
• 6 cups water (she used 3 cups home-made chicken stock and 3 cups of water)
• 2 extra-large vegetarian vegetable bouillon cubes (I contend that no such thing exists. The Wife used 2 regular sized chicken bouillon cubes)
• 2-1/2 cups dried cheese-filled tortellini (The Wife was subbing like a champ. She used a 1 lb. bag of frozen cheese tortellini)
• 1 tablespoon chopped fresh parsley (not happening. 1 teaspoon of dried parsley was used)
• 1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg (after an unfortunate incident following somebody's recipe that used WAY too much nutmeg, she erred on the side of caution and just omitted it)
• 1/4 teaspoon pepper (she just used black pepper to taste)
• Added: 1/8 teaspoon garlic pepper
• Added: 1/4 teaspoon dried basil
• Freshly grated Parmesan cheese, if desired (CHEESE IS NEVER OPTIONAL)

Directions

1. In a 4-quart Dutch oven, melt butter over medium heat. Add celery, carrot, onion and garlic. Cook, stirring frequently, until crisp-tender. 
2. Stir in water and bouillon cubes. Heat to boiling. Reduce heat to low; stir in tortellini. Cover; simmer about 20 minutes, stirring occasionally, until tortellini are tender. 
3. Stir in whatever herbs and spices you're using. Sprinkle individual servings with cheese. 

Good times!

Slow Cooker Potato-Crab Chowder

     If you visit my home most Sundays during the fall or winter (please don't), you will likely find some form of soup, stew or chowder bubbling away in a slow-cooker. On a good day, there could be as many as three cookers going at once. This particular recipe gets a lot of action during that time of the year. This is super easy and we usually have most of the ingredients (or close approximations) on hand. Plus, the way I make it, it's only about 170 calories per cup! As always, any notes or changes are in blue.

Potato Crab Chowder
via Slow Cooker Magic in Minutes

Ingredients

• 1 package (10 ounces) frozen corn
• 1 cup frozen hash brown potatoes (this is something you will never find in our freezer. We used a little over a cup of diced potato)
• 3/4 cup finely chopped carrots (we just cut them into little pieces)
• 1 teaspoon dried thyme
• 3/4 teaspoon garlic-pepper seasoning
• 3 cups fat free reduced-sodium chicken broth (no happening. We did 3 cups water and a bouillon cube or two)
• 1/2 cup water
• 1 cup evaporated milk
• 3 tablespoons cornstarch
• 1 can (6 ounces) crabmeat, drained (We just used an 8 ounce bag of imitation crab meat, which we fondly call "Crabuluxe") 
• 1/2 cup sliced green onions

Directions

1. Place corn, potatoes and carrots in slow-cooker. Sprinkle with thyme and garlic-pepper seasoning
2. Add broth and water. Cover and cook on LOW for 3-1/2 to 4-1/2 hours
3. Stir together evaporated milk and cornstarch in medium bowl. Stir into slow-cooker. Turn temperature to HIGH. Cover and cook 1 hour. Stir in crab meat and green onions. 

Who doesn't love chowder?
Good times!

Penne with Veggies and Black Beans from the Wonderful Wife

NOTE: This is another guest post from my lovely wife. She's been on a roll using up garden vegetables. This is just a great recipe. I love what she did with it.

     The husband started back to work last week, and I wanted to make a big batch of something he could take to school for lunches. I vaguely remembered making a cold veggie pasta salad last summer that he really liked. I was positive it was in the Everyday Light Meals cookbook, but after going through it page by page, I wasn't able to find it. Huh… So, I went through it again – page by page. And there it was. Why couldn't I find it the first time, you ask? Simple. I made so many alterations to it the first time I made it that I didn't recognize it in the cookbook. I will give you the recipe as it was intended to be made and also my changes. Don’t worry. If it’s delicious my way, it’s probably more delicious when made properly.

Penne with Veggies 'n Black Beans
via Taste of Home Everyday Light Meals

Ingredients

• 10 ounces uncooked penne pasta (Let the substitutions begin! I make this with elbow macaroni. Maybe we were out of penne when I made it the first time, or maybe I felt a veggie pasta salad could only be made with macaroni. Heck, use bow-ties if you want. It’s pasta. It all tastes the same.)
• 1 cup sliced zucchini (I did a combo of zucchini and squash.)
• 1 cup sliced carrots (The first time I made this, I believe I grated the carrots. Worked fine. This time, I didn’t have regular carrots – just baby. So I cut them lengthwise down the middle and then did it again, effectively quartering them.)
• ½ cup fresh mushrooms (No fresh mushrooms in the house. I just omitted them entirely and made up the difference with other veggies. I’ve also used canned mushrooms, but I didn’t sauté them with the other veggies.)
• ½ cup julienned green or sweet red pepper (I used green.)
• 1 garlic clove, minced (I used 1 teaspoon of minced garlic from the jar.)
• 1 tablespoon each minced fresh basil, oregano, and thyme or 1 teaspoon each dried basil, oregano, and thyme (We don’t grown thyme in the herb garden, but we did have fresh basil and oregano, so I used a tablespoon of each, and a teaspoon of dried thyme.)
• ½ teaspoon salt
• ¼ teaspoon pepper
• 2 tablespoons olive oil, divided
• 1 can (15 ounces) black beans, rinsed and drained
• 2/3 cup chopped seeded tomatoes (I prefer to use halved cherry tomatoes.)
• 1/3 cup shredded Parmesan cheese (I used 4 oz of cubed mozzarella cheese.)
• 2 tablespoons minced fresh parsley

The aforementioned ingredients in no particular order.

Directions

1. Cook pasta according to package directions.
2. Meanwhile, in a large nonstick skillet, sauté the zucchini, carrots, mushrooms (omitted), green pepper, onion, garlic, and seasonings in 1 tablespoon of olive oil until crisp-tender. Stir in the beans.
3. Add drained pasta to vegetable mixture. Add tomatoes and remaining olive oil; toss gently. Sprinkle with Parmesan cheese and parsley. (Here’s where I really deviate from the recipe. This dish is supposed to be served hot, but my husband said it was even better cold. So, after tossing the tomatoes and olive oil into the pasta mixture, I put the whole thing in the refrigerator for a few hours. In the meantime, I cube up the mozzarella cheese. After the pasta has had time to cool, I take it out and toss in the mozzarella and parsley.)

One serving (1 1/3 cup) equals 315 calories.

Good times!

Couscous and Vegetable Salad via 400 Calorie Fix

     If this week's weather is any indication, the summer is going to be horrifyingly hot and humid. If you're like me, on days like this you want to run the stove as little as possible. When the weather gets like this I also don't want super heavy meals. Like I said last week, salads are a great alternative. This week's recipe comes from the book 400 Calorie Fix. This particular recipe is about as healthy as you can hope for. A 1-1/2 cup serving is only 260 calories. If you wanted to bulk it up, you could add some tuna or chicken.

Couscous and Vegetable Salad
via 400 Calorie Fix

Ingredients

• 1-1/2 cups water
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon + 1 tablespoon olive oil
• 1 cup whole wheat couscous
• 1 can (15 ounces) chickpeas, rinsed and drained, 3 tablespoons of liquid reserved
• 1/2 cup frozen peas, thawed
• 1 medium carrot, coarsely shredded
• 1 small tomato, chopped
• 1 small red or yellow pepper, chopped (we went with red. The wife's not a huge fan of green peppers)
• 2-1/2 tablespoons currants (we didn't have any. We also weren't sold on currants being a good idea in here)
• 2-1/2 tablespoons finely chopped fresh chives
• 1-1/2 tablespoons pistachios or pine nuts (we used pistachios. Any time we have a choice between pistachios and pine nuts, I'm using pistachios)
• 1-1/2 tablespoons lemon juice (spring for a fresh lemon here. The bottled stuff doesn't have the fresh taste you want in this dish)
• 1/4 teaspoon dried thyme
• 1/4 teaspoon dried oregano
• Angostura Bitters (optional)

Directions

1. Bring water, salt and 1 teaspoon of the oil to a boil in a medium saucepan over high heat. Stir in the couscous. Remove from heat and cover. Let stand for 5 minutes or until liquid is absorbed. Fluff with fork.
2. Transfer the couscous to a large bowl. Add the chickpeas (setting aside the liquid), peas, carrot, tomato, pepper, currants (not for me), chives and nuts. Toss gently until mixed.
3. Whisk together lemon juice, thyme oregano, bitters, reserved chickpea liquid and remaining tablespoon of oil in a small bowl (why do recipes always make restrictions on bowl size? What if I wanted to use a big bowl for this? Who's going to stop me. I'll tell you straight up, I used a medium sized bowl. I have no regrets). Mix and pour over the salad. Toss to mix well. 
4. Cover and refrigerate for 30 minutes to blend the flavors.

Good times!