Slow Cooker Chicken and Potatoes in Pasta Sauce

 

Oh boy. Only 54 more wake ups until Summer Vacation. The Burn Out is real. Clearly based on the stellar content I've been posting (i.e. memes and various shitposting), I'm not finding much time or inclination to cook. Going without an oven for five weeks didn't help. We've leaned hard into the slow cooker. The upshot is we came up with a gem. You could eat this by itself as a stew, or over rice or pasta. It uses nothing but staple kitchen items so it won't be hard to put together (especially if you just use jarred pasta sauce) and isn't expensive. It is certainly filling and tasty. The Wife describes it as "kind of like cacciatore," which seems like a fair assessment.  Give it a try and let me know what you think. As always, notes are in blue. 

Slow Cooker Chicken and Potatoes in Pasta Sauce

Ingredients

• 4 medium potatoes, cut into 1" cubes (Peel them if you want. We generally don't)
• 1 medium onion, chopped
• 1 bell pepper, chopped (Pick whatever color you like. The Wife doesn't really like green peppers, so we used red bell peppers here)
• 4 cloves garlic, chopped
• 1 lb chicken (Another choice! Thighs or breasts? We went with breasts because we had more on hand and I like to save the thighs for any pressure cooking)
• 2-1/2 cups of pasta sauce. (I highly recommend this recipe for pasta sauce, but feel free to use your own, or even bust open a jar of store bought. I won't judge you.)
• 1 teaspoon dry oregano
• 1 teaspoon dry basil
• salt to taste

Directions

1. In a slow cooker (a 4-5 quart cooker will work), layer all the ingredients in order of appearance.
2. Cook on LOW for 6 hours. 
3. Shred the chicken with a fork.
4. Give everything a stir before serving.

Good Times!

Slow Cooker Buffalo Chicken Soup

Lately we have been in survival mode. We've had some drama around the homestead and work has been one nightmare after another for me and The Wife. Among other things, I had a sinus infection that led to over three weeks of coughing. Scorpia summed it up very succinctly:

Well, more of a challenge of a last few months.

Last Sunday, I finally had the energy to throw together something new. This recipe is about as easy as you could want. We used ALDI frozen chicken breasts. I didn't even defrost the meat, I just chucked it in frozen. If you're a vegetarian, feel free to leave the meat out. This would make a fine potato soup. If you're feeling tired and lazy, this is the way to go. It's a perfect soup for this weather. It's thick and spicy and definitely takes the edge off a cold day. Try it and let me know what you think, unless it's negative, then don't. I probably couldn't handle it at this point. As always, notes are in blue.

Slow Cooker Buffalo Chicken Soup

Ingredients

• 6 potatoes, cut into small (1/4") cubes. Peeling them is optional
• 1 medium onion, finely chopped
• 2 stalks celery, finely chopped
• 1 medium carrot, peeled and grated
• 1 pound chicken (boneless skinless thighs or breasts. I used breasts for this recipe)
• 2 packs (2 ounces each) Buffalo Chicken Soup/Dip Mix (I got mine at Aldi. I'm sure most grocery stores have it. If you don't like spicy, do one packet. If you do like spicy, use the two recommended and then dump in some Frank's or Tabasco)
• 32 ounces chicken stock
• 1 block (8 ounces) Neufchatel cheese (or you can use regular cream cheese)

Directions

1. Throw everything but the cheese into a 5 quart or larger slow cooker in the order listed above. 
2. Cook on HIGH for 4 hours.
3. Shred the chicken (I just got in there with a couple of forks and tore it up)
4. Add the cheese and stir until it is incorporated. 
5. Turn to LOW and cook another 30 minutes.

Good times!

Summer Vegetable Quiche with Potato Crust

 So the garden is totally out of control. We are being buried alive in vegetables and are desperately doing everything we can to stay ahead of it. I have to be honest. I'm getting really fucking tired of squash and zucchini. This was a moment of inspiration. I'd seen similar recipes, and decided to do something similar. There's really not much to say. It uses up a bunch of veggies, is easy to put together, and tastes pretty good. I like mine with a liberal splash of Tabasco sauce. If you're desperate to use up some veggies, this is a pretty solid way to go. It works for pretty much any meal of the day. Give it a try and let me know what you think, unless it's critical, then don't tell me. As always, notes are in blue.

Summer Vegetable Quiche with Potato Crust

Ingredients

I may have used jarred garlic when I made this. Don't judge me.

• 1 bag (24 ounce) frozen O'Brien style hash brown potatoes
• 1 cup finely chopped zucchini
• 1 cup finely chopped yellow squash
• 1/2 cup finely chopped onion
• 3 cloves garlic, finely chopped
• 3 cups of chopped kale, stems/spines removed
• 1 cup shredded white cheddar cheese (honestly pretty much any cheese would work here)
• 3 eggs
• 1/2 cup evaporated milk
• 2 teaspoons Italian seasoning
• 3 tablespoons olive oil
• salt

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 425F (220C, GasMark 7)
2. Defrost the potatoes and squeeze out as much moisture as humanly possible. Seriously, squeeze the shit out of it like it owes you money. Get physical. Consider it therapy. Give a primal scream as you do it. 
3. Grease a 9" cast iron skillet (or a pie pan if you don't have the cast iron) Take the potatoes and form a even layer to serve as the crust. Bake for 25 minutes or until the potatoes start to brown.
4. While the crust is cooking, in a large pan, heat oil over medium heat. Add garlic and onions. Sauté for 3-5 minutes, or until the onion starts to get translucent. 
5. Add the zucchini and squash and sauté about 5-7 minutes or until tender.
6. Add the kale and sauté until the kale is wilted

   

   Wilting in progress.

7. In a bowl, add eggs, evaporated milk, cheese, and seasonings. Beat until all is mixed evenly.
8. When crust is done, remove from oven and lower temperature to 350F (177C, GasMark 4).
9. Spread vegetable mixture evenly in crust. Slowly pour in milk/egg mixture. Lightly move the mixture around with a spatula to make sure the liquid and cheese is fully incorporated.
10. Cook for 30 minutes or until top is starting to brown.

    

    It occasionally looks like I know what I'm doing!

    You can poke it with a knife and if it comes away clean, you're done. 

Good times!

Slow Cooker Ham, Broccoli, and Cheese Soup

 I was just thinking to myself that the world can't possibly have enough slow cooker ham and potato soup recipes. This was a grave injustice that deserved remedy. That, and I had a bag of potatoes that was about to turn into compost if I didn't use them soon. This is about as utilitarian a soup as you'll ever find. There are no real surprises or innovations here, other than maybe the use of American cheese slices. This is just solid winter fare. This will fill you up and keep you warm. This is not the soup you need right now. It is the soup you deserve. I think that might have been from Batman. I don't know, it's been a long week. Anyways, it's easy to make and it's good. It's also flexible. Leave out the ham, add sausage. Go vegetarian and leave out the meet but add some carrots. Go wild. As always, notes are in blue.

Slow Cooker Ham, Broccoli, and Cheese Soup

Ingredients

• 8 cups cubed (about 1/4") potatoes (peel them if you want, we never bother)
• 1 cup sweet onion, finely chopped
• 1 lb. frozen broccoli
• 4 ounces cream cheese (we use neufchatel)
• 1 lb. ground ham (this may be a problem to find. We use ground ham from Toohill Seed & Beef Service. If you can't find it or are unable to order it, substitute an equivalent weight of ham you chop up yourself.)
• 8 slices American cheese (if this seems horrifying, just substitute 8 ounces of shredded cheddar or Velveeta)
• 3 cups water or chicken stock
• 1 cup milk
• 1 tablespoon Gateway to the North seasoning from the Spice House. (if you can't/won't get this spice blend, you can make do with whatever spices you enjoy)

Directions

1. In a large (5-6 quart) slow cooker, add the potatoes, then layer the cheeses over the potatoes. 
2. Add all other ingredients over the cheese.
3. Cook on LOW for 7 hours, stirring every couple hours.

Good Times!

Slow Cooker Potato, Beer, Bacon and Cheese Soup

 The time has come for soup weather. It's been hovering around freezing for a couple weeks now, so we're dragging out soup recipes and coming up with new ones. This recipe came about because we had a bag of potatoes that had all sorts of exciting things growing off of them and were close to achieving sentience. We found a slow cooker recipe for potato soup and quickly butchered it. The result was a gallon of tasty and filling soup. If you don't drink, it is still good without the beer. Or use non-alcoholic beer if that's an option. It's up to you. I'm not going to be checking on you to see if you followed the recipe exactly. Apologies for the pic, this soup does NOT photograph well. As always, notes are in blue.

Slow Cooker Potato, Beer, Bacon, and Cheese Soup
(looks much better in real life)

Ingredients

• 6 cups potatoes, cut into small cubes (I used russets, didn't peel them, and cut them into about 1/4" squares)
• 2 cups minced onion
• 1/2 cup carrots, cut into thin slices
• 1/2 pound bacon (feel free to leave it out if you don't do meat)
• 1 can (10.5 ounces) cream of broccoli soup (you could certainly use just about any cream soup here, though cream of potato might be overkill)
• 5 cups chicken stock (or vegetable stock if you're not into meat)
• 1/4 teaspoon black pepper
• 1 tablespoon Taylor Street Seasoning from Spice House (I know many of you won't have this, or don't want to order it. That's fine. You can just add garlic, Romano cheese, and basil to taste.)
• 1 can (12 ounces) evaporated milk
• 1 cup dark beer (I used Budweiser Black Lager. Pick your favorite. Use non-alcoholic if you prefer. Or leave it out if you don't drink. I imagine you could through a couple dashes of Worcestershire sauce in there to get that deeper flavor)
• 4 ounces shredded cheddar cheese (about 1 cup)
• 1 teaspoon dried parsley

Directions

1. In a pan, cook bacon until crisp. Drain and set aside.
2. In a large (6 quart) slow-cooker, add the potato, onion, carrot, bacon, soup, stock, pepper and seasonings. 
3. Set the cooker to HIGH for about 6.5 hours. Stir once about halfway through the time.
4. After the 6.5 hours, stir in the evaporated milk, beer, cheese, and parsley. Leave on HIGH and cook another 30 minutes or until the potatoes are soft.

Good times!

Kitchen Sink Curry

Summer has been kind to our garden this year. We find ourselves overloaded with all sorts of veggies, particularly zucchini. There's only so many zucchini boats and so much zucchini bread you can eat. I decided to steal from a bunch of different curry recipes and put together something of my very own. This is more than likely wholly inauthentic curry, so I will refer to it in the "Central Illinois Style." I guess that means you have to serve it with Natural Light and Fireball. In any event, it makes a tasty curry with only a moderate heat. It hits quick and then backs off. You can certainly add more chiles if you desire. Served over rice, it's a hearty meal. It is also versatile. You can easily leave out the chicken and you have a vegetarian meal. It also is gluten free, if that's a concern. As always, notes are in blue.

Kitchen Sink Curry

Ingredients

• 1/3 cup oil (vegetable, grapeseed or something with a higher smokepoint)
• 1 lb. boneless, skinless chicken thighs, cubed
• 3 large potatoes, cubed
• 1 large red onion, sliced
• 3 lbs. (about 3 good-sized) zucchini, cut into 1/4" disks, then quarter the disks
• 8 cloves garlic, minced
• 1 inch fresh ginger, grated
• 1 green chile, diced
• 2 medium tomatoes, chopped
• 1 can (13.5 oz.) coconut milk
• 1 can (6 oz.) tomato paste
• 1-1/2 teaspoons turmeric
• 2 tablespoons garam masala
• 2 teaspoons hot curry powder (I used the hot curry powder from The Spice House)
• 1/2 teaspoon coriander
• salt, pepper, cayenne to taste (I used about 1 tablespoon of Slap Ya Mama)

Directions

1. Heat oil in large pot (I used a 6 quart enameled Dutch oven)
2. Add garlic, ginger and onion. Cook for about 5 minutes or until onions become translucent.
3. Add chicken. Cook until chicken starts to color.
4. Add potatoes. Cook about 3-5 minutes
5. Add zucchini and chile, Cook about 3 minutes
6. In a bowl, mix coconut milk, tomato paste and all spices. Pour into pot and stir to incorporate all ingredients.
7. Bring to a simmer. Simmer for about 40 minutes or until potatoes are very tender.

Good times!

Another Sausage, Sauerkraut and Potato Recipe, but with Apples!

     Bratwurst, sauerkraut and potato dishes are as ubiquitous as man-buns on hipsters. Why does the world need another one? No clue. Good thing this one isn't mine. I pinched it from a recipe book and then made a bunch of changes. As far as I'm concerned, these dishes generally taste about the same. This one had enough changes that it was actually fairly tasty. I'm still not a big fan, but The Wife enjoyed it, so it will stay in the rotation. Mostly I avoid dishes like this because they are absolute sodium bombs. I can gain 3-4 pounds of water overnight after eating something like this. Not even joking. Just serve it with copious amounts of beer to keep the system flushed. As always, notes and changes are in blue.

Another Sausage, Sauerkraut
and Potato Recipe
but with Apples!
(via Fix-It and Forget-It Recipes for Entertaining)

Ingredients

• 5-6 bratwurst links, cut into 1" pieces (I'm always leery of bratwurst; my father referred to it as "gray meat." We went with a package of Johnsonville "Irish O'Garlic" sausages.)
• 5 medium sized potatoes, peeled and cubed (we just scrubbed them and cubed them. I generally refuse to peel a potato)
• 27 ounce can sauerkraut, rinsed and drained (we used a 24 ounce jar, just to be difficult)
• 1 medium tart apple, chopped
• 1 small onion, chopped
• 1/4 cup packed brown sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon salt (HAHAHAHAHAHA, no. You've already got kraut and a pack of sausages in there. If there's one thing this recipe does NOT need, it's more salt. 
• 1 teaspoon Old World Central Street Seasoning from Spice House (yeah yeah, it's got salt, but a ton of other good things in there!)

Directions

1. Brown bratwurst/sausages on all sides in skillet (did they mean all sides of the sausage, or brown the sausage on all sides of the skillet? I tried browning the sausages on the outside of the skillet and it made a hell of a mess)
2. Combine remaining ingredients in slow cooker. Stir in bratwurst/sausage and pan drippings (Pan drippings? Seriously. They mean grease. You cook half a dozen processed meat tubes in a pan and you get grease. Pan drippings sounds like a Satyr with venereal disease)
3. Cover. Cook on high 4-6 hours, or until potatoes and apples are tender. (It took us about 5 hours)

BONUS! Click HERE to see the video replay of the live stream we did of cooking this recipe!

Good Times!

Three Mustard and Bacon Potato Salad

     Who doesn't like potato salad? COMMUNISTS AND BABY EATING FASCISTS, THAT'S WHO. Seriously? There's so many potato salad variants. I can see not liking one or two, but to turn up your nose at all of them would be an unforgivable crime. Especially if you turned your nose up at mine. We all know I produce nothing but pure gold here and if you didn't like something I made, you either screwed it up or are uncultured swine. All kidding aside (I wasn't kidding), this potato salad is dynamite. At least, that's The Wife's verdict. I will admit it is a tasty salad. You can't go wrong with a pound of bacon! The only thing you may find problematic is that it calls for another one of my recipes to make this. You need to have a batch of my Three Mustard Pepper Relish on hand. If you don't have it, or can't make it, I'm not sure what you can do. I imagine a mix of a sweet and spicy mustard and a spicy relish should be a fair (albeit weak) approximation. If you come up with a replacement for my relish, let me know. As always, notes are in blue.

Three Mustard and Bacon Potato Salad

Ingredients

• 4 pounds potatoes, cut into 1" cubes (pick any potato you want. We used russet. Red would be good. I wouldn't recommend sweet)
• 1 pound pepper bacon
• 3 stalks celery, chopped
• 1/2 large red onion, chopped
• 1/3 cup sour cream
• 2/3 cup Three Mustard Pepper Relish

Directions

1. Throw the potatoes into boiling water. Boil 7-10 minutes or until they are just starting to get soft (don't over cook them or they will disintegrate when you go to toss them later). Set aside to cool. 
2. In a pan, cook the bacon until crisp. Drain and crumble the bacon. (don't you dare throw away the grease. Drain it into a clean jar and you can pop it in the fridge for later use. DON'T put the hot jar right into the fridge unless you're a huge fan of cleaning broken glass.)
3. In a small bowl, mix the sour cream and mustard. 
4. Put potatoes in a large bowl. Add bacon and onion. Pour in the sour cream and mustard mix. Toss until all ingredients are incorporated (this gives a nice, thin coat over everything. If you like more dressing in your salad, feel free to add more. Just remember 2 parts mustard relish per 1 part sour cream)
5. Refrigerate at least an hour before serving

Good Times!

Kale, Chorizo and Potato Soup

This has been one of the goofiest winters on record. We've had a week of near sixty degree temperatures, then it rained hard for two days straight and everything flooded. This morning it snowed. This sort of weather makes it hard for me to plan meals. There are certain things I can make only if the weather permits. Soups, for instance. I generally won't make soup during the summer. Come winter, it's game on. Now that we have a snap of cold weather, I figured it was time to throw down some soup. I found this recipe lurking in one of my cookbooks. I tweaked it just a bit and was greatly satisfied with the results. It's a simple, hearty soup that's great with crusty bread. As always, notes and changes are in blue.

Kale, Chorizo and Potato Soup
via Best-Ever Soups

Ingredients

• 8 ounces kale, stems removed
• 8 ounce chorizo sausage (Italian or Spanish, not Mexican. You want the salami type chorizo)
• 1 medium onion, cut in half and thinly sliced
• 1-1/2 pounds red potatoes, skinned
• 7-1/2 cups vegetable stock (we used chicken stock)
• 1 teaspoon ground black pepper
• 1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
• Crusty bread

Directions

1. Place the kale in a food processor and process for a few seconds to chop it finely (or just take out a goddamned knife and chop it yourself. I know I'm lazy, but even I have my limits)
2. Prick the sausage *snicker* and place in a pan with enough water to cover (if you're using the onion option, add them here). Simmer for 10 minutes. Drain and cut sausage into thin slices.
3. Cook the potatoes in lightly salted boiling water for about 15 minutes or until tender. Drain and place in a bowl. Mash, adding about a cup of the cooking liquid to make a thick paste.
4. Bring the stock to a boil and add the kale, chorizo (and possibly onion) and lower heat. Simmer for 5 minutes. Add the potato paste, stir to incorporate and simmer another 20 minutes. 
5. Season with black and cayenne pepper.
6. To serve: Place a slice of bread in the bottom of each bowl, then pour over soup.

Good times!

Spicy Chicken Mashed Potato Bowl with Creamed Corn Gravy

     Since tomorrow is Independence Day, or as it is known in our neighborhood, "drink a bunch of Natural Light and blow up the whole goddamn town," I thought I'd post up a recipe that strikes me as distinctly 'Murican. What could be a better testament to the 4th of July then taking a fried chicken and mashed potato meal and jamming it all into one bowl? I know KFC did it first, but mine is better. How do I know this? I do. Don't question me. These were just delicious. There's even room for interpretation. You could swap the BBQ sauce for hot sauce and do more of a Buffalo chicken bowl. You can change up the cheese, or use different potatoes. This is a celebration of American Independence. Feel free to do exactly what you want while everyone else silently judges you. This recipe should yield 4 average sized bowls. 2 if you're a big eater. 1 if you need an intervention.  As always, notes are in blue.

Spicy Chicken Mashed Potato Bowl
with Creamed Corn Gravy

Ingredients

• 1 pound breaded chicken tenders, preferably around 1" pieces (you can make them yourself or do like we did and use store bought)
• 3 potatoes
• 1 can (14.5 ounce) creamed corn 
• 1/2 cup milk, divided
• 1/4 cup butter
• 3 tablespoons flour
• 1 teaspoon Cajun seasoning  (we used Slap Ya Mama)
• 1/2 cup spicy barbecue sauce (we used Two Fat Guys Lava Hot)
• Shredded pepper-jack cheese

Directions

1. Boil potatoes until soft enough that if you stick a fork in them, they won't stay on the fork.
2. Drain potatoes. Add 1/2 cup milk and butter. Mash, adding butter and milk as needed until potatoes are mashed to your preference (if you boiled the potatoes in a nonstick pot, I certainly hope you put them in a bowl or used a plastic masher, because if you didn't, you just wrecked your pot)
3. In a medium saucepan, add the cream corn and milk. Heat and bring to a very low simmer. Stir in flour and seasoning. Remove from heat.
4. Cook up your chicken tenders however you want. We just baked ours. Toss with your favorite barbecue sauce until chicken is evenly coated.
5. In a bowl, spoon in some mashed potatoes. Throw on some chicken. Sprinkle liberally with shredded cheese. Top with a healthy dollop of gravy.

Good times!

Slow Cooker Kielbasa, Potato and Sauerkraut Stew

     With the arrival of a new baby, I quickly realized time was going to be at a premium.  With a hungry new member of the house, we would likely be spending the first couple of weeks overwhelmed with parenting. I took advantage of a couple free hours to drag out the slow cookers and prep a few meals to carry us through the busy time. This take on sausage and kraut was one of them. The addition of a cream soup gave it a nice stew consistency. It was super easy, filling and tasty. I will certainly add this one to the rotation. As always, notes are in blue.

Slow Cooker Kielbasa, Potato
and Sauerkraut Stew

Ingredients

• 2 kielbasa (about 1 pound)
• 3 potatoes, cut into about 1" cubes
• 1 can (10.5 ounces) cream of celery soup
• 1 can (10.5 ounces) water
• 3 tablespoons spicy brown mustard (Gulden's is always my go-to)
• 1 pound prepared sauerkraut (we used from a jar. You can use canned or bagged or even make it from scratch if you're feeling particularly productive)

Directions

1. Load all ingredients into a slow cooker. Stir to incorporate water and soup.
2. Cook on LOW for 6-8 hours or until potatoes are tender. 

Good times!

Cinnamon Raisin Sweet Rolls

     Let me come out and warn you right off the bat that this recipe is a P.I.T.A. There's a bunch of steps, and rolling and brushing and separating and dividing. It also takes like 3 hours start to finish including rising time. I will also tell you these things are the bomb-diggety, yo. They are just wonderful. They are soft and chewy and gooey and frosted and wonderful. I mean holy shit, wow, are they good. They just are a colossal pain in the ass to make. Totally worth it, though. As always, notes and changes are in blue.

Cinnamon Sweet Rolls
via Taste of Home Everyday Light Meals

Ingredients

• 2 medium potatoes, peeled and diced
• 1 package (.25 oz) active dry yeast
• 1/2 teaspoon plus 1/4 cup sugar, divided (I realized that I have no recollection of including the 1/4 cup sugar. I did not realize it until I re-read the recipe. That tells me it probably wasn't necessary. Or maybe it was and I just forgot. Who knows.)
• 1/2 cup evaporated milk
• 1/4 cup honey
• 3 tablespoons canola oil (omitted)
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 teaspoon butter flavoring (omitted)
• 4 tablespoons butter/margarine only if you're following my changes
• 5 cups all-purpose flour
• 2 egg whites, lightly beaten, divided
• 1-1/4 cups packed brown sugar
• 1/2 cup raisins
• 2 teaspoons ground cinnamon
• For Glaze
• 1-1/2 cups confectioners' sugar
• 3 tablespoons milk
• 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract

Directions

1. In a saucepan, cook potatoes in 1-1/2 cups water until very tender. Drain, reserving 3/4 cup of cooking liquid. Mash potatoes; set aside 1 cup (if you have extra, find some use for it. My suggestion is loading it on a spoon and unceremoniously launching it at your spouse)
2. In a mixing bowl, dissolve yeast in warm reserved liquid. Add 1/2 teaspoon sugar; let stand for 5 minutes
3. Add the milk, honey, oil (if using), salt, butter flavoring (or butter), sugar, 2 cups flour (screwed up again here. I totally didn't add any flour in this step. I added it all at once later. No harm done as far as I can tell), and potatoes. Beat until smooth. Stir in enough remaining flour to form a soft dough. Turn out onto a floured surface and knead until smooth and elastic, 6-8 minutes (or just throw the dough hook on the KitchenAid and let it do the work). Place in a bowl coated with non-stick cooking spray, turning once to coat. Cover and let rise in a warm place until doubled, about 90 minutes.
4. Punch dough down. Turn onto a lightly floured surface. Roll into an 18"x13" rectangle (my rectangle was 20"x14" because I'm a total badass). Brush with some of the egg whites.
5. Combine brown sugar, raisins and cinnamon; sprinkle over dough to within one inch of the edges. Roll up jelly-style, starting with the long side. Pinch seam to seal. Cut into 18 slices (we ended up with 16 slices because I didn't feel like measuring. I just started cutting shit in half). Place cut side down (technically if you're slicing dough, everything except the ends is cut on both sides) in two 9" square baking pans (I willfully ignored this and used to regular baking sheet which resulted in these wonderful round rolls). Brush with remaining egg white, Cover and let rise until doubled, about 30 minutes.
6. Bake at 350F (180C, Gasmark 4) for 20-25 minutes or until golden brown (we went 23 minutes and were very pleased). Cool on a wire rack.
7. Combine glaze ingredients and drizzle over cooled rolls. 

Good times!

Slow Cooker Loaded Baked Potato Casserole

Once again we turn to the trusty slow cooker to burn through surplus ingredients. We had plenty of potatoes and green onions on hand. We also had some sour cream getting ready to go off. We didn't have any bacon, but we did have bacon bits. They worked, but game the dish a queasy pink hue. In the end, it worked. It had all the flavors you'd expect from a loaded baked potato. Would it have been easier to just pop a couple spuds in the oven and then put on the toppings? Yes. Yes it would. There's a lesson to be learned here, but I'll be damned if I know what it is. As always, notes are in blue.

Slow Cooker Loaded Baked Potato Casserole

Ingredients

• 2 pounds potatoes, washed and cut into 1/2" cubes
• 2 scallions, chopped
• 3 tablespoons bacon bits (if you're not down with bacon bits, feel free to use real bacon. You'll likely need about 1/2 pound, cooked until crisp and then crumbled into the mixture.)
• 1 cup shredded cheddar cheese
• 1 pound sour cream
• 1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
• 1 tablespoon butter
• 1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
• salt and pepper to taste

Directions

1. Mix all ingredients in a large bowl and dump unceremoniously into a slow cooker that has been sprayed with nonstick cooking spray.
2. Cook on LOW for about 5 hours (cooking time may vary. At five hours, give it a taste. You'll know right away if the potatoes aren't done)

Good times!

Sauerkraut and Dill Potato Salad

     Is there any side dish that screams "summer" more than the ubiquitous potato salad?  Probably, but for today we will say "no!" I love potato salad in all forms. American, German, Amish, Venusian. Just slap it on my plate and I'm good to go. This particular potato salad came about on the 4th of July. We didn't really have any side dishes for our grilled meats, so I decided to go with potato salad. We had potatoes. I considered making Dill Pickle Potato Salad, but then decided I needed to add sauerkraut. It just seemed like a good idea. It was. This is a rock solid potato salad that went great with brats and steaks. Give it a try and tell me what you think! Unless you think it sucks. Then I don't want to hear about it. As always, notes are in blue.

Sauerkraut and Dill Potato Salad

Ingredients

• 5 medium potatoes, washed and scrubbed, then cut into 1" cubes (peel them if you want. We didn't. As for potato type, we used plain old Idahos)
• 1 jar (24 ounces) jarred sauerkraut, drained
• 4 large green onions, chopped
• juice of 1 small lemon
• 2 teaspoons dill weed
• 4 tablespoons mayonnaise
• black pepper to taste

Directions

1. Boil potatoes in lightly salted water until easily pierced with a fork (don't overcook the potatoes, or they'll break up when you go to mix the salad. The Wife called the consistency we wanted, "not quite baked potato"). Allow to cool for a few minutes
2. In a large bowl, combine the potatoes with all the other ingredients. Mix gently to incorporate all the ingredients. Chill in the refrigerator at least 30 minutes.

Good times!

Dill Pickle Potato Salad

     Potato salad is one of those hit or miss side dishes. There's some really good potato salads out there. There are also some truly horrifying ones, too. Those are usually the hoity-toity pretentious recipes using "lightly threatened fingerling potatoes in a vinaigrette of distilled duck tears and a reduction of leprechaun tendons." That sort of shit doesn't fly around here. Give me a bunch of potatoes and mayo. How about some pickle relish? Great! Throw it in there. That's why I like this recipe. It was attributed to Roseanne Cash, so that automatically makes it good. Plus, it uses a boatload of dill pickles, which is always fun. Anyways, it's a great little recipe that will look great sitting next to a hot dog or hamburger. Or you could just stand at the counter and grimly eat it right out of the bowl. Whatever floats your boat. As always, any notes or changes are in blue.

Dill Pickle Potato Salad
via Bon Appetit 

Ingredients

• 3 pounds red-skinned potatoes, unpeeled, cut into 1-inch pieces (I will be the first to admit that I almost never make any effort to use the suggested potato. Whatever potato is on hand is what's getting used)
• 8 dill pickle spears, coarsely chopped (about 1 1/2 cups)
• 3 celery stalks, chopped (about 1 cup)
• 1 medium-size red onion, chopped (about 1 cup)
• 5 hard-boiled eggs, peeled, chopped (I'm going to say this is optional. I've made this recipe with eggs and without. I think I prefer it without the eggs)
• 3/4 cup mayonnaise (or Miracle Whip if you want to send the foodies into apoplectic fits. Apoplectic Fits. I used to play drums for them)
• 2 tablespoons Dijon mustard (I used Gulden's Spicy Brown Mustard. I think the Dijon can be a bit overpowering)
  

Directions

1. Cook potatoes in large pot of boiling salted water until tender, about 30 minutes. Drain; cool (you could always just be a dumbass like me and cut the potatoes while they're still too hot and just bitch a lot). 
2. Cut potatoes into 1-inch pieces and transfer to large bowl. Stir in pickles, celery, onion, eggs, mayonnaise, and mustard. Season potato salad to taste with salt and pepper. 
3. Cover and refrigerate. Let stand at room temperature 1 hour before serving (maybe it's just me, but I like my potato salad cold, not approaching room temperature. I'm funny about leaving mayo based foods sitting out for any length of time. It's probably my mother's fault. She has me convinced that if food is even close to going off, you'll get trichinosis of the liver if you eat it).

Good times!

Slow Cooker Parmesan Potato Soup

     The Wife loves her soup. It doesn't matter the weather. It could be 115F outside and she'll ask me to make soup. She'll also be drinking hot coffee, so I may be dealing with some larger defect here. Anyways, she loves soup, so I make soup. This particular recipe came out of Taste of Home Slow Cooker.  This is a great cold weather soup. Big hunks of potato, lots of bacon and a creamy broth. One bowl of this and I'm full. But not for long because I'm also lactose intolerant and this uses a goodly amount of heavy cream. I'll leave you to come up with your own imagery. As always, any notes or changes are in blue.

Slow Cooker Parmesan Potato Soup
via Taste of Home Slow Cooker

Ingredients

• 8 medium potatoes, peeled and cut into 1/2 inch cubes (I actually peeled the potatoes this time!)
• 1 large onion, chopped
• 1 jar (7 ounces) roasted red peppers, drained and chopped (make sure you peel off any skin on the peppers unless you like it floating around in the soup)
• 1 small celery rib, chopped
• 6 cups chicken broth
• 1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
• 1/2 teaspoon seasoned salt
• 1/2 teaspoon pepper
• 1/8 teaspoon rubbed sage
• 1/3 cup all-purpose flour
• 2 cups heavy whipping cream, divided
• 1 cup grated Parmesan cheese, divided
• 8 bacon strips, cooked and crumbled
• 2 tablespoons minced fresh cilantro (we went with a teaspoon of dried)

Directions

1. In a 5 or 6 quart slow cooker, combine the vegetables, broth and seasonings (naturally, I attempted to load it all in a 2.5 quart cooker. It was fine until the part where I had to add more liquid). Cover and cook on LOW for 5-6 hours or until vegetables are tender.
2. In a small bowl, combine flour and 1/2 cup cream until smooth; add to slow cooker. Stir in 3/4 cup cheese, bacon, cilantro and remaining cream. Cover and cook for 30 minutes or until slightly thickened. 
3. Ladle into bowls; sprinkle with remaining cheese (I always love recipes that instruct you to plate your food. You know, in case you were planning on just standing there at the stove shoveling soup into your craw right out of the pot. Maybe you were. I'm not here to judge).

Good times!

Pork Chops in Mushroom Sauce

     One of my biggest complaints about slow-cooker recipes is they often end up tasting very similar. I've had chicken recipes that taste like beef recipes that taste like pork recipes. It doesn't matter what the ingredients are, the meals all end up with an inoffensive flat taste. That's why this particular recipe took us by surprise. While the recipe ends up uniformly beige, there's actually a definable flavor. I imagine that's due to the Dijon mustard. Regardless of the reason, this made for a very tasty meal. As always, any notes or changes are in blue.

Pork Chops in Mushroom Sauce
via Taste of Home Slow Cooker

Ingredients

• 1 can (10.75 ounce) condensed cream of mushroom soup, undiluted
• 1/4 cup chicken broth
• 1/4 cup country-style Dijon mustard (never in my life have I heard of "country-style" Dijon mustard. I'm calling bullshit and just using regular old Dijon)
• 1 garlic clove, minced (feeling lazy, just used 1 teaspoon minced from a jar)
• 1/2 teaspoon dried thyme
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1/4 teaspoon pepper
• 6 medium red potatoes, sliced (I used russet potatoes and everybody survived)
• 1 medium onion, halved and thinly sliced
• 6 boneless loin pork chops (5 ounces each) (I used 5. SO THERE)
• 8 ounces sliced mushrooms of your choice

Directions

1. In a 5 quart slow cooker, combine the soup, broth, mustard, garlic and seasonings. (I managed to stuff everything into a 2.5 quart slow cooker)
2. Stir in potatoes and onions; top with pork chops
3. Cover and cook on LOW for 3-1/2 to 4-1/2 hours or until meat is tender

"Sir, you are being chauffeured around in a $250,000 Rolls Royce. Buy your own damned mustard."
Good Times! 

Slow Cooker Potato-Crab Chowder

     If you visit my home most Sundays during the fall or winter (please don't), you will likely find some form of soup, stew or chowder bubbling away in a slow-cooker. On a good day, there could be as many as three cookers going at once. This particular recipe gets a lot of action during that time of the year. This is super easy and we usually have most of the ingredients (or close approximations) on hand. Plus, the way I make it, it's only about 170 calories per cup! As always, any notes or changes are in blue.

Potato Crab Chowder
via Slow Cooker Magic in Minutes

Ingredients

• 1 package (10 ounces) frozen corn
• 1 cup frozen hash brown potatoes (this is something you will never find in our freezer. We used a little over a cup of diced potato)
• 3/4 cup finely chopped carrots (we just cut them into little pieces)
• 1 teaspoon dried thyme
• 3/4 teaspoon garlic-pepper seasoning
• 3 cups fat free reduced-sodium chicken broth (no happening. We did 3 cups water and a bouillon cube or two)
• 1/2 cup water
• 1 cup evaporated milk
• 3 tablespoons cornstarch
• 1 can (6 ounces) crabmeat, drained (We just used an 8 ounce bag of imitation crab meat, which we fondly call "Crabuluxe") 
• 1/2 cup sliced green onions

Directions

1. Place corn, potatoes and carrots in slow-cooker. Sprinkle with thyme and garlic-pepper seasoning
2. Add broth and water. Cover and cook on LOW for 3-1/2 to 4-1/2 hours
3. Stir together evaporated milk and cornstarch in medium bowl. Stir into slow-cooker. Turn temperature to HIGH. Cover and cook 1 hour. Stir in crab meat and green onions. 

Who doesn't love chowder?
Good times!

Slow Cooker Cream Cheese Potato Soup

     With winter around the corner, the slow cookers are seeing regular use. One of our standards is a soup for the week, the heartier, the better. We found this recipe in a cookbook we keep forgetting we own: Fix It and Forget It Lightly. This book is a treasure trove of healthier options for the slow cooker. We went with the Cream Cheese Potato Soup. It is a rich and satisfying soup, and with the substitution of neufchatel for cream cheese, fairly low in fat. As always, changes and notes are in blue.

Slow Cooker Cream Cheese Potato Soup
via Fix It and Forget It Lightly

Ingredients

• 3 cups water
• 1 cup ham, diced
• 5 medium-sized potatoes, diced fine
• 8 ounce package fat free cream cheese, cubed (as always, we used Neufchatel)
• Half an onion, chopped
• 1 teaspoon garlic salt
• 1/2 teaspoon black pepper
• 1/2 teaspoon dill weed
• 1 tablespoon Old Taylor Street Cheese Sprinkle from The Spice House

Directions

1. Combine all ingredients in slow cooker
2. Cover. Cook on high for 3-4 hours, stirring occasionally, until potatoes are as soft as you like them.
3. Turn to low until ready to serve (We turned ours to warm. YEAH! WHAT NOW?)

Good times!

Sausage and Kale Biscuit Pie

     It's always fun when I decide to freestyle in the kitchen. It's also generally messy, but the end results are worth the destruction. The whole inspiration for this recipe came from a tube of butter-flavored biscuits that was sitting in the fridge. We tend to leave them in there until they explode, so I figured maybe I should use it. I also had a surplus of Polish sausages in the freezer, so I decided those were going in, as well. From that point I decided I was going to make a quasi pot-pie. The addition of malt vinegar was a last minute decision and one the wife and I were very pleased with. I undercooked the potatoes a bit by mistake, so in the recipe I suggest par-boiling them. If you're looking for a tasty mid-week filler meal, this might be for you! As always, any notes are in blue.

Sausage and Kale Biscuit Pie

Ingredients

• 1 16-ounce tube butter flavored biscuits
• 1 package (13-16 ounces) of Polish kielbasa, sliced
• 1 medium onion, chopped
• 3 small red potatoes, cubed
• 1 large carrot, chopped
• 1 rib celery, chopped
• 4 cups kale, leaves only, chopped
• 1 teaspoon dried oregano
• 1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
• 1 can cream of mushroom soup
• 1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese
• 1 cup shredded cheddar cheese
• Black pepper to taste
• Malt vinegar to taste

Directions

1. Par-boil potatoes, about 10 minutes.
2. Get a great big pot and sautee all the vegetables for about 10-15 minutes. (You're basically making sure the potatoes get cooked enough so they're not crunchy when you go to serve them).
3. Add the kielbasa, oregano, black pepper, and Worcestershire sauce. Pour in the cream of mushroom soup and stir everything so the soup is coating all the ingredients evenly. 

   

   You should be looking at something similar in your pot at this point.

4. Pour the bowl into a lightly greased baking dish. Sprinkle a few dashes of malt vinegar over the top of everything. Take the biscuits from the tube and lay them out in a single layer.  Bake at 350F for about 12-15 minutes or until the biscuits are golden brown (the underside of the biscuits may be a bit squishy. There's not much you can do about this.) Sprinkle the cheese over the top and bake another 3-5 minutes or until the cheese has melted.

Good times!