Chicken and Corn Dip

 Goodness, it's been a while since I've posted anything. I guess I've been busy? Lazy? Probably just lazy. Anyway, a few weeks back I threw together a little using odds and ends. It turned out well and for a change I had actually written everything down and not lost the paper I wrote it on. What a triumph. Long story short this dip is good hot or cold and is highly adjustable. Like it hotter? Add more hot. Don't eat meat? Put in tofu. Don't like cheese? Get away from me with that negativity. Try it and tell me what you think. Unless you don't like it and then I don't want to know. As always, notes are in blue.

Chicken and Corn Dip

Ingredients

• 1 cup creamed corn
• 1 cup diced or shredded fully cooked rotisserie chicken
• 1 cup shredded cheddar cheese (feel free to sub in the cheese of your choice. Pepper jack would probably be pretty good here)
• 8 ounce block cream cheese, softened
• 1 teaspoon dried minced onion (you can certainly use fresh onion if desired. If so, go with 1/2 finely chopped onion)
• 1 teaspoon garlic powder
• 1 teaspoon dry cilantro (if you're one of those people who think it tastes like soap, sub with parsley or basil)
• 1 teaspoon hot sauce of choice
• 1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes
• 1/2 teaspoon smoked paprika
• Salt and pepper to taste

Directions

1. In a medium pan, over medium heat, dump in everything and mix the shit out of it. Stop when the cheese is melted through and the cream cheese is smooth (not counting lumps from the other ingredients, those are fine)
2. Taste and adjust seasoning as needed/desired. Serve hot or cold with crackers or chips, or just scoop it out with your hands like an absolute fucking savage. 

Good Times!

Renaissance Faire Garlic Mushrooms

 Back in the day, The Wife and I used to visit the Bristol Renaissance Faire in Wisconsin annually. Life has since gotten in the way. We moved a few hours away and have not made it back in over 15 years. We would go in costume and everything. One of The Wife's favorite treats there was garlic stewed mushrooms. I am not a fan of mushrooms, but she adored these. I have on and off attempted to approximate those mushrooms and this is the closest I've gotten. This does have a lot of liquid in it, so you could probably double off the mushrooms and onions and still be fine. Alternatively, have a good piece of crusty bread on hand and just dip in in the liquid. Either way, it's a fast and easy recipe for mushroom lovers. Just have a mint handy when you're done because these will give you breath that can slay a thousand elves.

Renaissance Faire Garlic Mushrooms

Ingredients

• 8 ounces mushrooms, sliced thick (or leave them whole if you really want. That's how they were at the faire)
• 1/2 large onion, chopped
• 6 cloves garlic, chopped
• 1 stick butter
• 1 cup beef stock (or vegetable stock if you don't do meat)
• 1/2 teaspoon smoked Cherrywood salt (in the event you can't find this, just throw in 1/2 teaspoon of salt and a few dashes of Liquid Smoke)
• 1/2 teaspoon garlic pepper
• 1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
• 1 teaspoon cornstarch slurry (1/2 teaspoon corn starch, 1/2 teaspoon water, mixed)

Directions

1. In a medium saucepan, over medium heat, melt the butter. 
2. Add the onions and garlic and cook, stirring occasionally until the onions are translucent. 
3. Add the mushrooms, cook 2-3 minutes.
4. Add the stock, salt, garlic pepper, and Worcestershire sauce.
5. Bring to a simmer and let simmer for 5-7 minutes. 
6. Remove from the heat and mix in the slurry. 

Good Times!

One Pan Chicken and Rice

Certain recipes evoke core childhood memories. This is certainly one of them. Chicken and rice in a pan with some random veggies and pasta sauce. My mom used to make this regularly. She had no real printed recipe for it. Things just got thrown in a pan and heat was applied. Often, some of the rice would be crunchy and underdone. Other sections of the rice would be big clumps. However, it tasted good and was filling. The green olives were an odd addition, but they added a nice bit of zing to the flavor. 

Core Childhood Memory

It this gourmet? No, not at all. I use canned sauce here. I almost never used canned sauce. Everything in this recipe was about getting a meal together and on the table as quickly and easily as possible. This is comfort food, plain and simple. As always, notes are in blue.

One Pan Chicken and Rice

Ingredients

• 4 chicken breasts, about 2 lbs. (bone in or out, it doesn't really matter. You can even use thighs if you prefer. In any case, make sure they are skinless)
• 2 cups white rice
• 3 cups water or chicken stock
• 1 onion, cut into about 1" pieces
• 1 bell pepper, cut into about 1" pieces
• 1 can mushrooms (6.5oz), drained.
• 1/2 cup green olives
• 1 can (24 oz) pasta sauce (we used Hunt's Garlic & Herb)
• 2 teaspoons garlic powder
• 2 teaspoons dried Italian seasoning.
• Grated parmesan cheese

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 375F (190C, Gas Mark 5)
2. In a 9x13 baking dish add the rice and water/stock
3. Lay the chicken on top of the rice. 
4. Sprinkle the garlic and Italian seasoning over the chicken.
5. Distribute the vegetables around the pan. 
6. Pour the pasta sauce over the top of everything.
7. Cook uncovered for about 1 hour, or until the chicken and rice are both done. (a little bit of charring on the veggies is normal)
8. Garnish with parmesan cheese.

Everything benefits from a bit of cheese.
Good Times!

Slow Cooker Chicken and Potatoes in Pasta Sauce

 

Oh boy. Only 54 more wake ups until Summer Vacation. The Burn Out is real. Clearly based on the stellar content I've been posting (i.e. memes and various shitposting), I'm not finding much time or inclination to cook. Going without an oven for five weeks didn't help. We've leaned hard into the slow cooker. The upshot is we came up with a gem. You could eat this by itself as a stew, or over rice or pasta. It uses nothing but staple kitchen items so it won't be hard to put together (especially if you just use jarred pasta sauce) and isn't expensive. It is certainly filling and tasty. The Wife describes it as "kind of like cacciatore," which seems like a fair assessment.  Give it a try and let me know what you think. As always, notes are in blue. 

Slow Cooker Chicken and Potatoes in Pasta Sauce

Ingredients

• 4 medium potatoes, cut into 1" cubes (Peel them if you want. We generally don't)
• 1 medium onion, chopped
• 1 bell pepper, chopped (Pick whatever color you like. The Wife doesn't really like green peppers, so we used red bell peppers here)
• 4 cloves garlic, chopped
• 1 lb chicken (Another choice! Thighs or breasts? We went with breasts because we had more on hand and I like to save the thighs for any pressure cooking)
• 2-1/2 cups of pasta sauce. (I highly recommend this recipe for pasta sauce, but feel free to use your own, or even bust open a jar of store bought. I won't judge you.)
• 1 teaspoon dry oregano
• 1 teaspoon dry basil
• salt to taste

Directions

1. In a slow cooker (a 4-5 quart cooker will work), layer all the ingredients in order of appearance.
2. Cook on LOW for 6 hours. 
3. Shred the chicken with a fork.
4. Give everything a stir before serving.

Good Times!

World's Best Ever (FIGHT ME) Deluxe Super Special Pasta Salad (with extra hyperbole!)

We're back from a long hiatus due to the world being a fundamentally nonstop torrent of shit. I won't go into it, but 2022 is shaping up to be one slobberknocker of a shitty year. Last weekend we decided we needed to distract ourselves and spent an entire Saturday in the kitchen. This culinary masterpiece is one of the many things we made. This is made from ingredients you're probably going to have around the house or at the very least, can get easily. The Spanish chorizo might be a small challenge. We have to order ours on Amazon as culinary tastes around here largely center on Natural Light or Horseshoes. That said, this is a Taste Delight and received rave reviews from The Wife. Naturally, the Spud stared in horror and refused to go anywhere near it. As always, notes are in blue.

 World's Best Ever (FIGHT ME)
Deluxe Super Special Pasta Salad

Ingredients

• 1 pound elbow macaroni
• 1 can garbanzo beans (15.5 ounces), drained and rinsed
• 1 can black olives (6 ounces), drained and sliced
• 1 can diced tomatoes (14.5 ounces), drained
• 1 jar marinated artichoke hearts (12 ounces) (DO NOT DRAIN)
• 1 Spanish chorizo (about 8 ounces), chopped
• 1 small red onion, chopped
• 4 ounces crumbled feta cheese

For the Dressing

• 1/4 cup olive oil
• 3 tablespoons red wine vinegar
• 1 tablespoon hot sauce (we went with a carrot/habanero sauce)
• 1 teaspoon dried Italian seasoning
• salt and pepper to taste

Directions

1. Cook pasta to al dente. Or according to directions if you don't know what al dente is. Drain the pasta.
2. While the pasta is cooking, in a small bowl, whisk all the dressing ingredients until emulsified (the dressing, not you.)
3. In a HUGE bowl (not kidding here. This makes an alarming amount of pasta salad. You're going to have a hard time tossing it if the bowl isn't big enough.) dump in the pasta. 
4. Dump in everything else (including the dressing) but not the cheese. If you put in the cheese while the pasta is still hot, it's going to break down and you don't want that. 
5. Without sending the pasta salad flying all over the kitchen, carefully mix up the salad so the dressing and artichoke marinate coats everything. 
6. Put the salad in the fridge for an hour or two to let it cool off.
7. Add the cheese and give it one more toss. 

Good Times!

Best Ever (FIGHT ME) Slow Cooker Tomato Soup

 I don't normally bandy around the term "BEST EVER." It's trite. It's overused. It generally denotes a slow cooker recipe that is, in fact, not the best ever. HOWEVER, this recipe is, based solely on my experience with tomato soups, the BEST EVER. I will gladly fight anyone who says differently. How do I know it's the BEST EVER? I really fucking hate tomato soup and this was actually pretty good. I know The Wife enjoyed it immensely. The Spud enjoyed it, but all she's ever had was canned tomato soup from Aldi, so the bar was set pretty low there. Other than the caramelizing of onions, this recipe is super easy. Just remember not to add the cream until the end. As always, notes are in blue.

I can say without fear of contradiction, this is the
Best Ever*
Slow Cooker Tomato Soup

Ingredients

• 1 quart canned tomatoes, undrained (we used our own canned tomatoes. If you don't have home canned, just use an equivalent amount of canned stewed tomatoes)
• 1 can (14.5 ounce) fire roasted tomatoes, undrained
• 1 quart reduced sodium chicken stock
• 1 tablespoon dried basil
• 2 teaspoons Ukrainian Village seasoning from the Spice House (if you can't or won't get the seasoning, use a mix of Kosher salt, garlic, onion, bell peppers, and pepper. No clue as to what ratios you'd use. That's why I'm using the seasoning). 
• 2 tablespoons butter
• 1 medium onion, sliced into half rings
• 2/3 cup heavy cream

Directions

1. In a pan, melt butter and sauté onions on medium heat until they caramelize, about 7-10 minutes. 
2. Add the onions and everything else other than the cream into a slow cooker (I used a 5 quart)
3. Cook on LOW for 4-1/2 hours.
4. At the end of the 4-1/2 hours, use and immersion blender to completely blend the soup. It should be completely smooth. (if you don't have an immersion blender, you're going to have to transfer the soup to a blender and do it in batches)
5. Once the soup is blended, add the cream and stir. 

Good Times? THE BEST

*In the highly unlikely event you don't feel this soup is the BEST EVER, it is likely due to some sort of failing on your part. Probably an unrefined palate or some sort of taste bud injury from a microwave burrito.

Stir Fry Pork Steak and Green Beans

So we're still desperately trying to work through last year's produce to make sure we have room for the new stuff from the garden. In this case, we needed to use up some surplus green beans. We had a couple nice pork steaks in the freezer that worked perfectly.  I can't promise you'll have all these ingredients on hand. Black bean garlic paste and hoisin sauce are not something every home keeps in stock. If you don't have those, you can probably get away with teriyaki sauce, or a molasses based barbecue sauce. Or just drown it in Sriracha, which is never wrong. This ended up being a very tasty and fairly quick meal. Over rice, it was filling and a fair substitute for ordering out Chinese food for dinner.  As always, notes are in blue.

Stir Fry Pork Steak and Green Beans

Ingredients

• 3 tablespoons sesame oil (in a pinch, vegetable oil would work, but you'll lose the wonderful flavor you get from the sesame oil)
• 1.5 lbs. pork steak, cut into 1/2" wide strips
• .5 lbs. green beans, cut into 3" pieces
• 1/2 onion, chopped
• 4 cloves garlic, minced
• 1/4 cup soy sauce (we used reduced sodium. Otherwise I blow up like a balloon.)
• 2 tablespoons brown sugar
• 1/4 teaspoon red pepper flakes
• 1 tablespoon black bean garlic paste
• 1 tablespoon hoisin sauce
• 1-1/2 tablespoons corn starch
• 1-1/2 tablespoons cold water
• Cooked white rice, for serving

Directions

1. In a wok (or whatever large pan you have) heat oil over medium heat. 
2. Add garlic and onion. Stir fry for 3-4 minutes or until the onion starts to get tender. Do not let the garlic burn.
3. Add the pork and stir fry for another 5 minutes or so, or until the pork is not longer visibly pink.
4. While the pork is cooking, in a bowl, mix the soy sauce, brown sugar, pepper, black bean paste, and hoisin sauce. 
5. Add the green beans to the wok, along with the sauce mix. Toss to coat evenly. Cover and cook on medium for 5-6 more minutes. There will be a fair amount of liquid in the pan. This is fine.
6. While everything is cooking, in a small cup, mix the corn starch and water. 
7. Take the lid off the wok (I feel I have to emphasize taking the lid off or some smartass will just pour the cornstarch over the lid) and add the corn starch mixture. Stir contents of the pot until sauce thickens. Turn off the heat.
8. Serve over rice. (I imagine this would be good over rice noodles as well. Or even without rice.)

Good times!

Spicy Vinegar Braised Riblets

As we have been sheltering at home for some weeks now, we have started to run out of really good meat. We still have what we call "garbage chicken" and a couple odds and ends. We decided to support our local businesses and put in an order to a seed and beef service in the area. We gave them a budget and told them to just give us an assortment of beef and pork. Once of the pork products we got was riblets. Very little fat, little ribs. They were adorable. I found a recipe to braise them, and then immediately ignored most of the recipe and happily went off in my own direction. The result was ribs with meat that was tender and falling off the bone. Flavor? HELLS YES. They were tangy from the vinegar with a nice bit of heat from the peppers and Cajun seasoning. This recipe is stupid easy and just about fool-proof. Enjoy!

Spicy Vinegar Braised Riblets

Ingredients

• 2 lbs pork riblets (you could probably use any pork ribs you want, we just liked the idea of little ribs!)
• Cajun seasoning
• 1 cup hot pepper infused vinegar (if you don't have this you can get by with a cup of white vinegar and a couple chopped jalapenos or a teaspoon or so of cayenne)
• 1 can (8 ounces) tomato sauce
• 1 tablespoon dried, minced onions

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 300F (150C, Gasmark 2)
2. Liberally sprinkle Cajun seasoning over both sides of riblets. 
3. Cut riblets into individual pieces and put in Dutch oven.
4. In a bowl, mix the vinegar, tomato sauce, and onions
5. Pour contents of bowl over riblets
6. Cover Dutch oven and put in oven for 75 minutes or until meat starts to fall off the bone

Good times!

Slow Cooker Beef and Sweet Potatoes

As you're no doubt aware, my level of content production has once again dropped of dramatically since the school year started. We've been trying to come up with quick and easy recipes that can fit into our week and still sound good to all of you! This might be one of them. It's a super-easy slow cooker recipe that is wonderful for cold days. I like that there's a pretty good chance most everybody has these ingredients on hand at any given time. Or not. I'm on my 3rd rum and Coke so I'm prone to wild speculation at this point

Slow Cooker Beef and Sweet Potatoes

Ingredients

• 2-3 pound beef roast
• 3 sweet potatoes, peeled and cut into large (2-3") cubes
• 1 large red or yellow bell pepper, cut into thin slices
• 1 large yellow onion, chopped
• 1/2 cup Marsala wine (here is a link to some non-alcoholic substitutes)
• 1-1/2 teaspoons garlic powder
• 1-1/2 teaspoons brown sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon salt

Directions

1. Mix garlic powder, brown sugar, and salt in a small bowl. Rub mixture over entire roast. 
2. Place roast in slow cooker. Place potatoes around roast and top with onion and peppers
3. Add Marsala wine (or whatever you're using in place of it)
4. Cook 3-4 hours on HIGH or 6-7 hours on LOW. 

Good Times!

Desperation Casserole

Desperate times call for desperate measures. We were running out of space in our freezer and needed to use up some surplus to make room for all the produce we were vacuum bagging and freezing out of our garden. I'm sure there's plenty of flexibility with this recipe. You can easily swap just about any meat in for the sausages, or leave the meat out and add zucchini or eggplant and make it vegetarian. We considered adding cheese to this, but just couldn't think of any that would work so we just left it alone. The verdict from The Wife: "this is better than it has any right to be." If that's not a ringing endorsement, I don't know what is.

Desperation Casserole

Ingredients

• 1 package Johnsonville Irish O'Garlic sausages (or probably any sausage you prefer)
• 1 lb frozen cubed hash brown potatoes
• 8 ounces kale (washed and dried)
• 1 cup frozen peas
• 1 can cream of mushroom soup
• 1 tablespoon garlic powder
• 1 tablespoon dried minced onion
• 2 teaspoons Slap Ya' Mama seasoning (or use salt, black pepper, and cayenne)

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 375F (191C, Gas Mark 5)
2. Cut sausages into 1" pieces. Cook in a pan until browned.
3. In a large bowl, tear up the kale into small pieces. Add the sausage (and grease) to the bowl. Give a quick toss to get the kale to start to wilt.
4. Add all the remaining ingredients and toss. 
5. Put in a greased Pyrex. Put in oven for 30 minutes or until potatoes start to get crisp at the edges.

Good Times!

Farfalle and Summer Vegetables

Normally this time of the year we'd be asshole deep in produce from our garden. However, weeks and weeks of cold rain at the start of the season moved straight into oppressive heat and humidity. All our plants are stunted. Fortunately, there's a farmer's market in town where we can make up the difference. This is one of my favorite summer pasta dishes, especially because it is even good cold. It's quick and easy to make, uses up surplus produce, and can be modified. Add some shrimp or Crabuluxe. Throw in some Spanish chorizo. Add some shredded baked chicken. Add some zing with olives or capers. Maybe some artichoke hearts? The sky's the limit.

Farfalle and Summer Vegetables 

Ingredients

• 1 box (16 oz.) farfalle or other short pasta
• 1 pint cherry or roma tomatoes, halved
• 1/2 onion, chopped
• 1 medium zucchini or yellow squash, chopped
• 4 ounces mushrooms, chopped
• 3 cloves garlic, minced
• 1/2 cup heavy cream
• 1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese
• 3 tablespoons olive oil
• salt and pepper

Directions

1. Cook pasta according to directions, but shave a minute off the end. You want the pasta to have a little bite and it's going to cook a bit in the sauce you're about to make.
2. In a large pan, heat oil over medium-high heat. Add garlic and onion. Cook for 2 minutes, stirring regularly to prevent the garlic from burning.
3. Add the tomatoes, zucchini, and mushrooms. Cook for another 3-5 minutes, until the zucchini starts to get tender and the tomatoes start to break down.
4. Turn down the heat and add the cream and cheese. Cook at a simmer for another couple of minutes.
5. Add the pasta. Toss over low heat for a minute or two to make sure everything is coated. Salt and pepper to taste.

Good times!

Steak Chimichangas

Bit of history: my dad and I used to go to this Mexican restaurant, Las Palmas, where we would always order the same thing. "Number 11 with steak." It was rice and beans, a chili relleno, steak burrito, and steak chimichanga. That steak chimichanga was always what I would save for last. It was absolutely amazing. I decided I was going to try my hand at replicating it. While I didn't exactly nail it, I did make a damn good steak chimichanga that even Deadpool would approve of. They were actually super easy to make and there's room for customization. You could easily switch with chicken, pork, or ground beef. Give it a try. Or don't. More for me. As always, notes are in blue.

Steak Chimichangas (makes 4)

Ingredients

• 1-1/2 pound top sirloin, cut into cubes (feel free to use stew meat if you want)
• 1 onion, chopped
• 1 cup refried beans (we just used canned refried beans from Aldi)
• 1 can 8oz. tomato sauce
• 1 chipotle pepper in adobo sauce, chopped (again, right from the can)
• 1 teaspoon adobo seasoning
• 4 large (10") flour tortillas
• vegetable oil for frying
• shredded cheese of your choice (optional)

Directions

1. Heat a pan over medium high heat. Add a tablespoon of vegetable oil. Add the cubed meat, onion and adobo seasoning. Cook for 3-5 minutes, or until meat is browned and onions are starting to get soft. Remove from heat.
2. In a bowl, add refried beans, tomato sauce, and chipotle pepper. Mix ingredients until they are all incorporated. 
3. Take 1/2 of the sauce and add it to the meat. Mix until meat is evenly coated.
4. In a deep cast iron pan (if you don't have cast iron, find something you can fry in) heat about 2" of vegetable oil. 
5. Fun part, take 1/4 of the meat mixture and put it in the center of the tortilla.

   

   Visual aid.

   Roll the tortilla into a burrito shape using your favorite tortilla rolling method. There are tons on the internet. We just picked one that basically had us fold one side over, tuck in the sides, then roll it up. Like I said, hit YouTube, somebody more competent than I can show you how to do it. 
6. Drop the bad boy into the hot oil. One at a time. Fry for about 2-3 minutes, then flip it over and do another 2-3 minutes, or until golden brown all around. Remove to a plate lined with paper towels. Repeat process 3 more times!

   

   Glorious

7. Serve chimichanga on it's own, or top with the reserved sauce and shredded cheese.

   

   OH MAIS, OUIS. Wait, that's French.
   
   

   

   Good times!

   
   
   

Slow Cooker Chicken Cacciatore

Summer around here means one thing: It's too damned hot to turn on the oven. Seriously. I can have the house at a comfortable 70 degrees, but if I cook anything in the oven, it shoots right up to 75. This is when the slow-cooker gets dragged out. This recipe came together super fast and is extremely good over pasta or rice. In other news, I somehow managed to lose every photo I had of this recipe. I checked every memory card I had. The pictures are totally gone. I don't know, maybe I was drunk and forgot to actually take the pictures. In any case, enjoy this picture of a chicken shrugging in place of the actual dish. As always, notes are in (blue).

Slow Cooker Chicken Cacciatore

Ingredients

• 2-3 (about 1.5 lb.) boneless, skinless chicken breasts (feel free to use boneless, skinless thighs if you prefer)
• 1 can (14.5oz) diced tomatoes, undrained
• 1 onion, halved and sliced
• 1 red bell pepper, cut into small slice
• 1 can (8oz) sliced mushrooms, drained (you can certainly use fresh if you prefer)
• 2-3 garlic cloves, finely chopped
• 1 teaspoon dried oregano
• 1 teaspoon dried basil
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1/4 teaspoon red pepper flakes

Directions

1. Put chicken in the bottom of slow cooker.
2. Unceremoniously dump everything else on top of chicken
3. Cook on LOW for 6 hours
4. Give everything a good stir before serving.

Good times!

Cheeseburger Mac Casserole

Summer is in full swing and I am still somehow making time to cook! I figure everybody has a recipe like this in their repertoire in one form or another. It's basically Hamburger Helper, but I don't need any help from some freakish sentient glove.

There's a little nightmare fuel for you.

Anyway, this recipe is super easy and is perfect for a quick midweek meal. It makes a lot, but maybe it just felt that way since there's only three of us and The Spud would prefer to live on Cocoa Pebbles cereal and powdered donuts, if that's at all convenient. As always, notes are in blue.

Cheeseburger Mac Casserole

Ingredients

• 2 tablespoons vegetable oil
• 1 lb. ground beef
• 1 lb. macaroni
• 1/2 onion, chopped
• 1 can 14.5 ounces diced tomatoes, drained
• 1 can 7 ounces sliced mushrooms, drained (or you can use about a half pound of fresh, whatever floats your boat)
• 1 can 10.5 ounces cheddar cheese soup
• 2 teaspoons garlic powder
• 1-2 teaspoons Worcestershire sauce
• 1 cup shredded pepperjack cheese (if you don't like pepperjack, cheddar would work great)

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 375F (190C, Gasmark 5)
2. In a pan heat the oil. Add the ground beef, mushroom, and onion. Cook until meat is browned. Drain any excess oil.
3. Cook macaroni according to directions. Stop a minute or so early since this is going into the oven eventually and will keep cooking.
4. In a large bowl or pot, combine the macaroni, meat mixture, garlic powder, Worcestershire, tomatoes, and cheese soup. Mix well to incorporate.
5. Spread mixture into a greased 9x13" baking dish. Top with shredded cheese.
6. Cook in oven for about 20 minutes or until cheese on top is bubbly and starting to brown in spots.

BONUS: enjoy a video of this exact recipe via the Tubez!

Good times!

Too Damned Easy Sausage and Peppers

Man, oh, man does life get in the way. It has been way too long since I've updated my blog. Why? The Spud. The Job. Sinus infections. All the random stuff that stops me from making anything other than the occasional post. So my plan is to dig through all my drafts for blog posts and get them  up, even if it means I don't have all the photos. Take this recipe for instance. This sausage and pepper recipe is a regular feature in our house and yet the only photo I have is of the ingredients. I assure you that they will combine nicely and make a great entree or an exceptional topper for pasta. It's basically a 30 minute recipe and is great for a nice mid-week meal.

Too Damned Easy Sausage & Peppers

Ingredients

• 4 bell peppers, cut into half-inch strips (we used red and orange, but feel free to use green or whatever color you want)
• 1 medium yellow onion, sliced
• 1 pound Italian sausages, cased (sweet, mild, or hot depending on your taste)
• 1 24-ounce can of pasta sauce 
• 4 ounces of mushrooms, sliced (feel free to use canned, since we're keeping it simple)
• 2 cloves garlic, minced (just go ahead and use a couple tablespoons of jarred. At this point we're not really looking for Michelin Stars)
• 3 tablespoons olive oil

Directions

1. Heat olive oil in a large pan.
2. Add the sausages for 5-7 minutes, turning occasionally, until browned. Remove sausages and put them somewhere safe from marauding spouses and animals.
3. Add garlic, peppers, and onions and sautee over medium heat 3-5 minutes, or until veggies start to get tender.
4. Add mushrooms and sautee another 2 minutes or so. 
5. Slice the sausages and add them back to the pan. 
6. Pour in the pasta sauce and bring to a simmer. Simmer for 5-7 minutes.

Good Times!

Spaghetti with Oil and Bacon Jam

First off, let me say I'm sorry. It's been almost four months since my last post. I know I've managed a YouTube video, some FaceBook content and a couple live streams, but nothing of real value. Granted, you could still make that claim when I posted a lot. Regardless, as I've mentioned before, it seems that parenting takes up quite a bit of time. However, I have had the occasional moment of inspiration. A couple of friends of ours regularly come by for dinner and games. They are the epitome of gracious guests. We have never asked it of them, but they always arrive with some assortment of food related gifts for us. Recently it was a jar of Trader Joe's Uncured Bacon Jam. It is exactly what it sounds like. It is a sweet bacon spread. We've had it on toast and it was pretty good. Desperate to use up some leftover spaghetti, it became a key ingredient in a new and amazing recipe. Mind you, if you don't have access to this jam, I'm not sure what you're going to do. I have no idea how to replicate it. Best of luck. As always, notes are in blue.

Spaghetti with Oil and Bacon Jam
(Recipe makes 2 servings, or one if you're a fat bastard like me)

Ingredients

• 8 ounces spaghetti
• 3 tablespoons butter
• 2 tablespoons olive oil (use as many virgins as you'd like)
• 3 tablespoons bacon jam
• 1-1/2 teaspoons garlic powder
• 1 tablespoon dried, minced onion
• 1/2 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes (add a little more if you'd like a bit more kick)
• 1/3 cup grated Parmesan cheese

Directions

1. Cook pasta until aldente. Set aside to drain.
2. In a large pan, on medium-high head, melt butter and add olive oil. 
3. Add the onion and stir for a minute or two.
4. Add the bacon jam. Stir until jam breaks down into the butter/oil mix.
5. Add the garlic powder and pepper flakes.
6. Add the pasta back to the pan. Toss until the pasta is totally coated with the sauce.
7. Add the cheese and toss again.
8. (If you feel the dish could use some color, feel free to toss in some chopped parsley)

Good times!

T-Bird Hot Sauce

     Every year I plant way too many hot peppers and every year I find myself desperate to find ways to use them up. I have bags and bags of peppers that I've dried, but those really start to take up space. I am always looking for new and exciting ways to use up lots of peppers in one go. This particular sauce certainly fits the bill, using five dozen peppers. It also uses up some tamarind concentrate that I mistakenly bought when I was shopping for tahini. For whatever reason, I'm always mixing tahini and tamarind up, which generally doesn't end well in a recipe. Though very spicy, this sauce has a wonderful deep and mellow flavor underneath from the tamarind and guajilo. This is a go-to sauce for chicken or pork dishes. It's thick enough to hold up on the barbecue or hot wings. As for the name? I used Thai peppers in the recipe. I know "bird" specifically refers to the dried pepper, but the name was too good to pass up. "T" for Thai or Tamarind and "Bird" for the alternate pepper name. I am so damned clever it hurts. As always, notes are in blue.

Ingredients

• 1 tablespoon tomato paste
• 2 tablespoons red wine vinegar
• 1 Tablespoon tamarind concentrate
• 1 cup cider vinegar
• 1/3 cup water
• 60 Thai bird chili peppers, stemmed (cayenne or serrano can be substituted, but you may need to use less, as those peppers are generally larger)
• 1 dried Ancho chili
• 2 dried Guajillo chilis
• 4 tomatoes, chopped
• 1 onion, chopped
• 1 carrot, chopped
• 1 rib celery, chopped

Directions

1. Add all ingredients to a food processor (make sure it is a large capacity processor, at least 7 cups. 10 would be better, unless you're a fan of leaking and caustic messes. Caustic Mess would be an outstanding punk band name). Process until smooth.
2. Transfer mixture to a nonreactive pot and bring to a boil. Reduce to a simmer and let simmer for about 10 minutes. (If you're not planning on canning this sauce for storage, you're done. If you want to store this sauce long term, go on to the next steps)
3. Prepare a boiling water canner and submerge 4 half pint jars (or two full pint jars) to sterilize in the boiling water. (You can be doing this while the sauce is simmering)
4. Remove the jars and fill with the warm sauce. Leave 1/4" headspace in each jar.
5. Seal the jars with a 2 piece lid and process in the boiling water bath for 12 minutes (If you're doing full pints, go for about 16 minutes).
6. After 12 minutes, remove from the bath and set on a wire rack to cool. Eventually, you'll hear the satisfying "pop" that tells you the jar has sealed. If after a few hours, a jar hasn't sealed, put on a new lid and try reboiling for another 12 minutes. If it doesn't seal after that, just give up and use the sauce. It will hold for a long time in the fridge. Properly processed and sealed, the sauce is good for at least a year. As always, double check everything with the National Center for Home Food Preservation to ensure you don't poison anybody.

Good Times!

Three Mustard and Bacon Potato Salad

     Who doesn't like potato salad? COMMUNISTS AND BABY EATING FASCISTS, THAT'S WHO. Seriously? There's so many potato salad variants. I can see not liking one or two, but to turn up your nose at all of them would be an unforgivable crime. Especially if you turned your nose up at mine. We all know I produce nothing but pure gold here and if you didn't like something I made, you either screwed it up or are uncultured swine. All kidding aside (I wasn't kidding), this potato salad is dynamite. At least, that's The Wife's verdict. I will admit it is a tasty salad. You can't go wrong with a pound of bacon! The only thing you may find problematic is that it calls for another one of my recipes to make this. You need to have a batch of my Three Mustard Pepper Relish on hand. If you don't have it, or can't make it, I'm not sure what you can do. I imagine a mix of a sweet and spicy mustard and a spicy relish should be a fair (albeit weak) approximation. If you come up with a replacement for my relish, let me know. As always, notes are in blue.

Three Mustard and Bacon Potato Salad

Ingredients

• 4 pounds potatoes, cut into 1" cubes (pick any potato you want. We used russet. Red would be good. I wouldn't recommend sweet)
• 1 pound pepper bacon
• 3 stalks celery, chopped
• 1/2 large red onion, chopped
• 1/3 cup sour cream
• 2/3 cup Three Mustard Pepper Relish

Directions

1. Throw the potatoes into boiling water. Boil 7-10 minutes or until they are just starting to get soft (don't over cook them or they will disintegrate when you go to toss them later). Set aside to cool. 
2. In a pan, cook the bacon until crisp. Drain and crumble the bacon. (don't you dare throw away the grease. Drain it into a clean jar and you can pop it in the fridge for later use. DON'T put the hot jar right into the fridge unless you're a huge fan of cleaning broken glass.)
3. In a small bowl, mix the sour cream and mustard. 
4. Put potatoes in a large bowl. Add bacon and onion. Pour in the sour cream and mustard mix. Toss until all ingredients are incorporated (this gives a nice, thin coat over everything. If you like more dressing in your salad, feel free to add more. Just remember 2 parts mustard relish per 1 part sour cream)
5. Refrigerate at least an hour before serving

Good Times!

Slow Cooker Southwest Style Cheese Soup

     "Southwest Style." what a vague description. It would seem as long as you have meat and chile peppers, you can call something Southwest. That's good, because that is exactly what I did. This really came together as a desperate attempt to come up with meals for the week. I didn't expect much from this recipe, but was happily surprised at how it turned out. It had a nice bite and a plenty of flavor. It was even better the next day! Give it a try and see what you think! If you like it, let me know! If not, tell someone else, because I don't have time for your criticism.

Slow Cooker
Southwest Style Cheese Soup

Ingredients

• 1 can (15.5 ounce) black beans, drained and rinsed
• 1 can (14.5 ounce) fire roasted salsa style tomatoes, undrained (our ALDI had these. If you can't find them, just substitute a can of Rotel tomatoes with green chiles.)
• 1/2 cup corn (frozen or canned)
• 1 pound ground beef (80/20 is great, but 73/27 is fine, too. 11/89 is right out)
• 1/2 medium yellow onion, diced
• 4 cups water
• 1/2 cup sour cream
• 1 cup pepper jack cheese (this is not a paid endorsement, but I wholeheartedly recommend Kraft Habanero Heat shredded Monterey Jack)

Directions

1. Brown and drain the ground beef. Throw it in a slow cooker.
2. Throw in everything else except the sour cream and cheese.
3. Cook on LOW for 4 hours
4. Add the sour cream and cheese. Stir to incorporate and cook on LOW another 30 minutes.

Good Times!

The Most Middle Class Midwest Central Illinois Sandwich Ever

     There are just certain things typical to geographic areas. You go to Texas and you're going to get Tex-Mex. You go to Louisiana and you're going to get Cajun. You go to Maine and you're getting seafood. You know what you get when you head into the Midwest? Central Illinois specifically? You're going to get something with Ranch and bacon on it. The fascination with Ranch out here borders on repulsive. The kids put it on everything. Pizza. Burgers. Nuggets. Fries. If they can dip it in a bowl of Ranch, they're going to. I weep for our species. If somebody could invent deep fried Ranch, they could probably make a fortune selling it at the state fair.
     I figured I should just give in to local custom and make something involving a bunch of Ranch. The result is the following sandwich. I'll tell you this: it was super, hella-good. Crazy good. Like hide the leftovers before we eat them good. I felt guilty for throwing together such an uninspired sandwich, but there was no denying its awesomeness. So, if you're interested in a fair representation of typical Central Illinois food, this is a slightly upgraded form of it. Someday I'll tell you about Horseshoes and how every restaurant here serves them!

The Most Middle Class, Midwest,
Central Illinois Sandwich
Ever

Ingredients

• 2 chicken breasts, butterflied and then split into two pieces each (yielding 4 pieces of chicken)
• Old Taylor Street Cheese Sprinkle from the Spice House (if you don't have access to this mix, it's a mix of Romano cheese powder, salt, garlic powder, scallions, powdered green peppercorns, Italian parsley, basil. Good luck figuring out the exact amounts. Maybe just order it or use your favorite spice blend)
• 4 ounces Swiss cheese, thinly sliced
• 1/2 pound thick cut bacon
• 8 slices thick cut bread (we used the ham and cheese bread we made earlier)
• pack of ranch dressing mix
• 16 ounce container of sour cream (yeah, you'll have leftover. Quit whining and use it the rest for vegetable dip)
• red onion, sliced thin
• iceberg lettuce (feel free to throw some tomato on if you'd like)

Directions

1. Mix ranch dressing packet with sour cream. Put it aside for right now.
2. Sprinkle the chicken breast pieces with the spice mix. 
3. Heat a skillet to medium high. Add the bacon and cook until just beginning to crisp. Set aside the bacon and drain all but the a tablespoon or so of the bacon grease.
4. Put the chicken breasts in the pan and cook 5-7 minutes. Turn the chicken and cook another 5-7 minutes. 
5. During the last minute or so of cooking, lay the cheese on the chicken and put a cover on the pan.
6. While the cheese is melting, spread a thick layer of the ranch sour cream mix on each slice of bread. Pile on the lettuce, onion.
7. Add the chicken and bacon. 
8. Eat the hell out of that sandwich.

Someday I'll learn to slice bread evenly.
Good Times!