Clear the Fridge Pasta Salad

There comes a time in life when you get the call.  The call from a neighbor asking inviting you over for a cookout. Well, not one to ever show up empty-handed, I asked if he wanted me to bring anything. He said no. I said, that's not an option, please choose between mac & cheese or pasta salad. He went with the salad. So naturally I made six hundred pounds. It was pretty tasty and will make a solid addition to any cookout, picnic or pot luck. If you don't like Basalmic vinaigrette, feel free to swap in Italian or any dressing like that. I suppose you could even go totally wild and use ranch or Caesar dressing for a real gastric bludgeon. As always, if you try it, let me know what you think unless you don't like it. Then I don't want to hear about it. As always, notes are in blue.

Clear the Fridge Pasta Salad

Ingredients

• 2 lbs elbow macaroni
• 1 red onion, chopped
• 1 cup shredded carrot 
• 1 cup roasted red/orange/yellow pepper, chopped (feel free to use jarred roasted peppers if you don't want th extra work)
• 1 can black olives, drained and halved
• 3 ounces green olives, halved
• 1 jar (12 ounces) marinated artichoke hearts, drained and chopped
• 1 cup crumbled feta cheese
• 6 ounces mozzarella cheese, cut into small cubes
• 6 ounces pepperoni, diced
• 1-1/2 cups Basalmic vinaigrette dressing (we originally used a from scratch recipe then realized the bottled stuff was fine, Start with 1 cup of the dressing, then adjust to taste if you want more)
• Salt and pepper to taste

Directions

1. Cook pasta according to directions, but stop and drain a minute before the suggested time. 
2. In a big foil pan, throw in everything and toss the living shit out of it.
3. Give it a taste. If you want more dressing or salt and pepper, add it. If you want less, you're screwed.I guess you can add more of everything else?

Good Times!

World's Best Ever (FIGHT ME) Deluxe Super Special Pasta Salad (with extra hyperbole!)

We're back from a long hiatus due to the world being a fundamentally nonstop torrent of shit. I won't go into it, but 2022 is shaping up to be one slobberknocker of a shitty year. Last weekend we decided we needed to distract ourselves and spent an entire Saturday in the kitchen. This culinary masterpiece is one of the many things we made. This is made from ingredients you're probably going to have around the house or at the very least, can get easily. The Spanish chorizo might be a small challenge. We have to order ours on Amazon as culinary tastes around here largely center on Natural Light or Horseshoes. That said, this is a Taste Delight and received rave reviews from The Wife. Naturally, the Spud stared in horror and refused to go anywhere near it. As always, notes are in blue.

 World's Best Ever (FIGHT ME)
Deluxe Super Special Pasta Salad

Ingredients

• 1 pound elbow macaroni
• 1 can garbanzo beans (15.5 ounces), drained and rinsed
• 1 can black olives (6 ounces), drained and sliced
• 1 can diced tomatoes (14.5 ounces), drained
• 1 jar marinated artichoke hearts (12 ounces) (DO NOT DRAIN)
• 1 Spanish chorizo (about 8 ounces), chopped
• 1 small red onion, chopped
• 4 ounces crumbled feta cheese

For the Dressing

• 1/4 cup olive oil
• 3 tablespoons red wine vinegar
• 1 tablespoon hot sauce (we went with a carrot/habanero sauce)
• 1 teaspoon dried Italian seasoning
• salt and pepper to taste

Directions

1. Cook pasta to al dente. Or according to directions if you don't know what al dente is. Drain the pasta.
2. While the pasta is cooking, in a small bowl, whisk all the dressing ingredients until emulsified (the dressing, not you.)
3. In a HUGE bowl (not kidding here. This makes an alarming amount of pasta salad. You're going to have a hard time tossing it if the bowl isn't big enough.) dump in the pasta. 
4. Dump in everything else (including the dressing) but not the cheese. If you put in the cheese while the pasta is still hot, it's going to break down and you don't want that. 
5. Without sending the pasta salad flying all over the kitchen, carefully mix up the salad so the dressing and artichoke marinate coats everything. 
6. Put the salad in the fridge for an hour or two to let it cool off.
7. Add the cheese and give it one more toss. 

Good Times!

Zesty Crabuluxe Cold Pasta Salad

     To me, one of the quintessential summer dishes is the cold pasta salad. However, they seem to come in two varieties: drowning in a vinegar based liquid, or caulked together with horrifying amounts of mayonnaise. I wanted to make my own pasta salad that was lighter on the dressing, but still packed a bunch of flavor. I decided to combine some Miracle Whip with some jalapeno sauce that I have stashed away. The Wife and I were decidedly pleased with the results. My only complaint was that we used linguine. We didn't have any non-noodle pastas available and it was hard to get everything mixed together. The flavor was great. The jalapeno sauce packed plenty of flavor, but not a lot of heat. It was very tasty and the dressing was mercifully light. Give it a try and see how you like it. And remember, if you like it half as much as we did, then we liked it twice as much as you. As always, notes are in blue.

Zesty Crabuluxe Cold Pasta Salad

Ingredients

• 1 pound pasta (we used linguine, but I'd suggest macaroni, rotini or shells. It's really hard to get the cold ingredients mixed well through noodle-type pasta)
• 4 tablespoons whipped dressing (aka Miracle Whip)
• 4 tablespoons jalapeno sauce (click on the link for the recipe. I'm not sure what you'd use for an equivalent. Maybe a nice jalapeno based salsa)
• 1 pound of Crabuluxe, broken into small pieces (imitation crab meat. If you've got the money for a pound of real crab, go nuts)
• 3 dashes Worcestershire sauce
• 1 teaspoon garlic powder
• 1/2 red onion, chopped
• 1 medium carrot, peeled and shredded
• 1/2 cup frozen peas
• 1 rib celery, finely chopped
• 1 cup shredded Swiss cheese

Directions

1. Cook pasta until al dente. Add the frozen peas to the pot during the last few minutes of cooking. You do not want the pasta to be mushy. Make sure it still has some bite. Drain and allow to cool.
2. In a small bowl, mix the whipped dressing, jalapeno sauce, Worcestershire sauce, and garlic powder.
3. In a large bowl add the cooled pasta and peas, Crabuluxe, cheese and veggies. Add the dressing mixture and toss to incorporate all the ingredients. Put in the fridge and allow to chill for at least one hour.

Good times!