World's Best Ever (FIGHT ME) Deluxe Super Special Pasta Salad (with extra hyperbole!)

We're back from a long hiatus due to the world being a fundamentally nonstop torrent of shit. I won't go into it, but 2022 is shaping up to be one slobberknocker of a shitty year. Last weekend we decided we needed to distract ourselves and spent an entire Saturday in the kitchen. This culinary masterpiece is one of the many things we made. This is made from ingredients you're probably going to have around the house or at the very least, can get easily. The Spanish chorizo might be a small challenge. We have to order ours on Amazon as culinary tastes around here largely center on Natural Light or Horseshoes. That said, this is a Taste Delight and received rave reviews from The Wife. Naturally, the Spud stared in horror and refused to go anywhere near it. As always, notes are in blue.

 World's Best Ever (FIGHT ME)
Deluxe Super Special Pasta Salad

Ingredients

• 1 pound elbow macaroni
• 1 can garbanzo beans (15.5 ounces), drained and rinsed
• 1 can black olives (6 ounces), drained and sliced
• 1 can diced tomatoes (14.5 ounces), drained
• 1 jar marinated artichoke hearts (12 ounces) (DO NOT DRAIN)
• 1 Spanish chorizo (about 8 ounces), chopped
• 1 small red onion, chopped
• 4 ounces crumbled feta cheese

For the Dressing

• 1/4 cup olive oil
• 3 tablespoons red wine vinegar
• 1 tablespoon hot sauce (we went with a carrot/habanero sauce)
• 1 teaspoon dried Italian seasoning
• salt and pepper to taste

Directions

1. Cook pasta to al dente. Or according to directions if you don't know what al dente is. Drain the pasta.
2. While the pasta is cooking, in a small bowl, whisk all the dressing ingredients until emulsified (the dressing, not you.)
3. In a HUGE bowl (not kidding here. This makes an alarming amount of pasta salad. You're going to have a hard time tossing it if the bowl isn't big enough.) dump in the pasta. 
4. Dump in everything else (including the dressing) but not the cheese. If you put in the cheese while the pasta is still hot, it's going to break down and you don't want that. 
5. Without sending the pasta salad flying all over the kitchen, carefully mix up the salad so the dressing and artichoke marinate coats everything. 
6. Put the salad in the fridge for an hour or two to let it cool off.
7. Add the cheese and give it one more toss. 

Good Times!

Fettuccine with Tomato and Artichoke Cream Sauce

     So being a Daddy is taking up exactly as much time as I expected, which is why updates are few and far between around here! I am trying to make up for it by posting more completely original recipes. We've been trying to use up the last of our garden's tomatoes, so I figured a nice tomato cream sauce would be a good idea. I added a few other veggies and a touch of seasoning and ended up with a real winner. The Wife had the brilliant idea to add the red pepper flakes. This was a stroke of genius as I think the sauce may have been a touch too bland otherwise. The spot of heat really adds depth to this dish. This will definitely end up in our regular rotation. There's a lot of flexibility here. You can probably swap in or out most veggies and the addition of shrimp or chicken wouldn't be amiss, either! As always, notes are in blue.

Fettuccine with Tomato
and Artichoke Cream Sauce

Ingredients

• 1 pound tomatoes, roughly chopped (or two 14.5 ounce cans diced tomatoes, drained)
• 2 large scallions, chopped
• 4 ounces mushrooms, roughly chopped
• 1 12-ounce can marinated artichoke hearts, drained and chopped
• 3 cloves garlic finely chopped
• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• 1 cup heavy cream
• 1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese
• 1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes
• 2 teaspoons Bridgeport seasoning from Spice House (follow the link to see what's in there)
• bunch of fresh basil, chopped (or 1 teaspoons dried)
• 1 pound fettuccine

Directions

1. In a large pan, heat olive oil over medium heat. Add garlic and sautee 1-2 minutes, being careful to not let garlic get too brown.
2. Add scallions and sautee another minute or two. Add mushrooms and continue to sautee for 2-3 more minutes.
3. Add tomatoes and artichokes. Bring to a simmer and simmer for about 15 minutes.
4. Lower heat a bit and add cream, cheese, pepper flakes, seasoning and basil. Cook on a very low simmer for 5-6 minutes.
5. Cook pasta aldente and drain.
6. Either toss pasta with sauce or serve a liberal amount of sauce over the pasta, whichever you prefer. 

Good times!

Slow Cooker Spinach Artichoke Dip

     Now and again I take requests on what to cook. My only limitation is that I must have the ingredients on hand if I'm going to actually go ahead and cook it. I got lucky this time and had a request for spinach-artichoke dip. I actually had all the ingredients I figured I would need. I was doing this recipe totally from scratch. I had no previous recipe to work from. The end result? Holy shit, was it good. I'm talking restaurant good. I can say with some level of confidence that if you have this recipe on hand, you'll never need to order it in a restaurant again. Unless you want to. See if I care. As always, notes are in blue.

Slow Cooker
Spinach Artichoke Dip

Ingredients

• 1 10-ounce box frozen spinach, defrosted and squeezed of excess water
• 1 12-ounce can marinated artichoke hearts, drained and chopped
• 8 ounces cream cheese (I always use neufchatel to keep the fat down) cubed
• 1 10-ounce can cream of chicken soup
• 2 teaspoons garlic powder
• 1 cup shredded Swiss cheese

Directions

1. Load all ingredients into a small slow cooker (we used a 1.5 quart cooker)
2. Cover and cook on LOW 2-3 hours, stirring half way through the cooking and again at the end.

Good times!