Best Ever (FIGHT ME) Slow Cooker Tomato Soup

 I don't normally bandy around the term "BEST EVER." It's trite. It's overused. It generally denotes a slow cooker recipe that is, in fact, not the best ever. HOWEVER, this recipe is, based solely on my experience with tomato soups, the BEST EVER. I will gladly fight anyone who says differently. How do I know it's the BEST EVER? I really fucking hate tomato soup and this was actually pretty good. I know The Wife enjoyed it immensely. The Spud enjoyed it, but all she's ever had was canned tomato soup from Aldi, so the bar was set pretty low there. Other than the caramelizing of onions, this recipe is super easy. Just remember not to add the cream until the end. As always, notes are in blue.

I can say without fear of contradiction, this is the
Best Ever*
Slow Cooker Tomato Soup

Ingredients

• 1 quart canned tomatoes, undrained (we used our own canned tomatoes. If you don't have home canned, just use an equivalent amount of canned stewed tomatoes)
• 1 can (14.5 ounce) fire roasted tomatoes, undrained
• 1 quart reduced sodium chicken stock
• 1 tablespoon dried basil
• 2 teaspoons Ukrainian Village seasoning from the Spice House (if you can't or won't get the seasoning, use a mix of Kosher salt, garlic, onion, bell peppers, and pepper. No clue as to what ratios you'd use. That's why I'm using the seasoning). 
• 2 tablespoons butter
• 1 medium onion, sliced into half rings
• 2/3 cup heavy cream

Directions

1. In a pan, melt butter and sauté onions on medium heat until they caramelize, about 7-10 minutes. 
2. Add the onions and everything else other than the cream into a slow cooker (I used a 5 quart)
3. Cook on LOW for 4-1/2 hours.
4. At the end of the 4-1/2 hours, use and immersion blender to completely blend the soup. It should be completely smooth. (if you don't have an immersion blender, you're going to have to transfer the soup to a blender and do it in batches)
5. Once the soup is blended, add the cream and stir. 

Good Times? THE BEST

*In the highly unlikely event you don't feel this soup is the BEST EVER, it is likely due to some sort of failing on your part. Probably an unrefined palate or some sort of taste bud injury from a microwave burrito.

Turkey, White Bean and Kale Soup

     One of the big problems after Thanksgiving is figuring out what to do with the leftover turkey. There's only so many turkey sandwiches you can eat. One of the first things I do with the turkey is strip all the meat and then boil the carcass. This leaves me with an extremely rich stock for later use. I wound up using it for this recipe. It's sort of a riff on Tuscan White Bean Soup. I was fairly pleased with the outcome. If you like extra heat, it benefits greatly from a shot or two of Frank's hot sauce. Obviously, you could easily substitute chicken and chicken stock if you don't have turkey on hand.

Turkey, White Bean and Kale Soup

Ingredients

• 1 quart turkey stock
• 1-1/2 cup chopped cooked turkey
• 1 can (15.5 ounce) great northern beans, drained and rinsed
• 4 cups kale, spines removed, chopped
• 1 medium red onion, chopped
• 2 stalks celery, chopped
• 1 clove garlic, chopped
• 1 tablespoon fresh basil, chopped
• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• 1/4 teaspoon red pepper flakes
• 1/2 cup heavy cream
• 1 cup orzo
• 1 tablespoon Ukrainian Village seasoning (from the Spice House) 

Directions

1. In a large pot, add stock, turkey, beans and seasoning. Bring to a simmer.
2. Heat oil in a saucepan, add onion, celery, basil and garlic. Sautee 3-5 minutes or until onions are tender. Add kale, sautee 2 more minutes (the color of the kale will brighten during cooking.  When you see that, you know it's ready).

   

   This is what I'm talking about.

3. Add contents of saucepan to soup pot. Add pepper flakes and orzo and bring to low boil for about 5 minutes. Lower to simmer.
4. Stir in cream. Simmer another 2-3 minutes or until orzo is tender.

Good times!

Hot Mango Flush Hot Sauce

     I've been on quite a hot sauce kick this summer. Mostly this is due to the fact that making hot sauce is the most efficient way to use up lots of garden produce in one shot. This time I decided I was going to make my own hot sauce from scratch. I know that mango is a solid accompaniment to most hot peppers, so I used jalapenos and mangoes as the base. From there I just sort of went bat-shit crazy and started adding stuff. What I ended up with elicited tremendous positive response from the The Wife and our friend Dan. This sauce starts with a straight shot of jalapeno then opens up into a finish of fruit and a bite from the rum. We put the naming rights up for a vote on my Facebook page and the hands down winner came from The Wife. She knows that my favorite band is Jethro Tull. Most of the band members are huge pepper heads and really enjoy spicy foods. They make mention of hot foods more than once in their music. She suggested naming the sauce after one of their songs: "Hot Mango Flush." I know a winner when I hear one!
As always, any notes are in blue.

Hot Mango Flush

Ingredients

• 1 ripe mango, peeled, pitted and cubed
• 12 jalapenos stemmed and seeded (or leave the seeds in if you want more heat)
• 1 medium onion, roughly chopped
• 1 cup cider vinegar
• 1/4 cup fresh squeezed lime juice
• 1/4 cup gold rum
• 1 teaspoon Ukrainian Village Seasoning from The Spice House (this seasoning is a blend of salt, garlic, onion, pepper, green onion, and red and green peppers)

Directions

1. Combine all ingredients in a large, non-reactive pan. Bring to a boil, then lower to a simmer. Simmer for about 10-12 minutes or until all the vegetables are soft. 
2. Load everything into a blender and pulse until smooth.

   

   Looks like a sneeze gone wrong. I assure you it does not taste that way.

3. If you are using right away, just put in a container and refrigerate. If you plan on long term storage, this will yield a little over one pint of sauce. Load into two half pint jars and process in a boiling water bath for 15 minutes (As always, if you're not familiar with canning, refer to the National Center for Home Food Preparation to learn how not to accidentally poison your entire family)

Good Times!