Slow Cooker Beef and Sweet Potatoes

As you're no doubt aware, my level of content production has once again dropped of dramatically since the school year started. We've been trying to come up with quick and easy recipes that can fit into our week and still sound good to all of you! This might be one of them. It's a super-easy slow cooker recipe that is wonderful for cold days. I like that there's a pretty good chance most everybody has these ingredients on hand at any given time. Or not. I'm on my 3rd rum and Coke so I'm prone to wild speculation at this point

Slow Cooker Beef and Sweet Potatoes

Ingredients

• 2-3 pound beef roast
• 3 sweet potatoes, peeled and cut into large (2-3") cubes
• 1 large red or yellow bell pepper, cut into thin slices
• 1 large yellow onion, chopped
• 1/2 cup Marsala wine (here is a link to some non-alcoholic substitutes)
• 1-1/2 teaspoons garlic powder
• 1-1/2 teaspoons brown sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon salt

Directions

1. Mix garlic powder, brown sugar, and salt in a small bowl. Rub mixture over entire roast. 
2. Place roast in slow cooker. Place potatoes around roast and top with onion and peppers
3. Add Marsala wine (or whatever you're using in place of it)
4. Cook 3-4 hours on HIGH or 6-7 hours on LOW. 

Good Times!

Crispy Orange Beef and Broccoli

Summer is finally here and that means I actually have some time to devote to my food pages. I decided to start off the season with something that captures summer. It has fruit and heat. It is also my third iteration of this type of recipe. The spicy orange theme of quasi-Chinese food is always a favorite in my house. This particular recipe is a cut down version of my Too Damned Easy Spicy Orange Chicken and Broccoli.  This version is actually a bit simpler.  As always, notes are in blue.

Crispy Orange Beef and Broccoli

Ingredients

• 1 pound beef stew meat, sliced thin (leave the meat a bit frozen when slicing to make things easier for you)
•  4 tablespoons vegetable oil
• Corn starch
• 1/2 pound frozen broccoli, thawed (fresh will work, too. You'll just need to chop it up into smaller pieces)
• 2 tablespoons soy sauce
• 1 cup orange marmalade
• 2 teaspoons Sriracha hot sauce (use less if you're a big baby, or more if you're a sexual powerhouse, just like me)
• 4 green onions, sliced diagonally , for garnish

Directions

1. In a large wok (or pan or whatever), heat the oil over medium high heat.
2. In a large bowl, pour in some corn starch. Dredge the beef in the corn starch so all the pieces are evenly coated.
3. Once the oil is hot, working in batches, fry the beef until crispy, about 3-5 minutes per batch. Remove each batch to a paper towel to drain excess oil.
4. When the beef is done, turn down the heat to medium and add the soy sauce. 
5. When the soy sauce begins to bubble, add the marmalade and Sriracha. Stir constantly until the sauce is completely mixed. Let it simmer for about 3 minutes.
6. Add the beef back to the pan and stir to coat.
7. Add the broccoli and stir to coat. Cook for another 4-5 minutes or until the broccoli is the consistency you like.
8. Serve over rice and garnish with the green onion.

Bonus: What booze to have with this

• The Wife recommends Redd's Cranberry Ale
• I suggest a Chardonnay in the $3-5 range. 

Good Times!

Stir-Fried Beef With Green Onion and Broccoli

     Stir-fry has to be one of my favorite methods of cooking. It's generally fast and easy. You really have to totally walk away from the pan for an extended period of time to mess it up. This particular recipe came about as many of my recipes do: a way to use up produce before it goes off. We had a few gigantic scallions the Mother-In-Law gave us and some broccoli not long for this world. Fortunately, I've taken to keeping at least a pound of stew beef in the freezer, so it worked out great. The flavor was mellow and satisfying. You may notice I let "fast and easy" and "mellow and satisfying" without making any sort of obvious snide "like I like my women" comment. That's because I like my women like I like my coffee. Bitter. And with a cheese Danish. As always, notes are in blue.

Stir-Fried Beef with
Scallions and Broccoli

Ingredients

• 1 pound beef stew meat
• 4 scallions, cut into 1/4" pieces (you can use some of the green part if you like. We do.)
• 2 cups fresh broccoli, cut into smallish pieces (frozen will work in a pinch. Just defrost it first)
• 1 clove garlic, minced
• 2 tablespoons soy sauce (we use low sodium)
• 2 tablespoons red wine vinegar
• 2 tablespoons vegetable oil
• 2 teaspoons Sriracha (optional. I mean, if you hate flavor and happiness, you can certainly leave it out. To each their own.)
• sesame oil

Directions

1. Cut each piece of stew meat into one or two smaller pieces. 
2. In a bowl, add meat, scallions, broccoli, soy sauce and vinegar. Toss to coat. Let marinate for about 30 minutes. Toss occasionally to make sure everything is coated.
3. Heat oil in a large pan (a wok would be perfect here if you have one. If you don't, maybe you could run out and buy one! Be adventurous! Take a wok on the wild side! Sorry.) Add garlic and cook for less than a minute. Add beef and veggies and stir-fry 7-10 minutes or until the meat is done and the veggies still have a little bit of snap. Add a few drops of sesame oil toward the end of the cooking.
4. Serve over white rice or noodles.

Good Times!

Beef and Broccoli in Sweet and Pungent Sauce

     My town has one major flaw. Lots of drunks on lawnmowers. Okay, two major flaws. Drunks on lawn mowers and plastic fires. Okay, three major flaws. Drunks on mowers, plastic fires and no plows in the winter. Okay, four major flaws. Drunks on mowers, plastic fires, no plows and dogs running loose everywhere...
     I guess I'm getting off track here. My town has some serious shortcomings. The one I was trying to get to was the lack of Chinese carryout. I have to drive 30 minutes round trip to pick up carryout from the nearest Chinese restaurant. That's crazy. I have taken it upon myself to learn Chinese cooking so I can just make this stuff at home. This is a recipe for the classic beef and broccoli. The sauce was something I hadn't had before. Sweet and pungent. Not that orange sweet and sour, but something entirely different. It was fantastic. It's a bit labor intensive and bordering on a PITA, but it's totally worth trying.  Unless you live near a Chinese restaurant, in which case pick me up some egg foo young. As always, notes and changes are in blue.

Beef and Broccoli
in Sweet and Pungent Sauce
via The 1000 Recipe Chinese Cookbook

Ingredients

• 1 pound beef stew meat, cut into 1/4" slices
• 1 egg
• 1 clove garlic
• cornstarch
• oil for frying
• 1 pound broccoli florets (preferably fresh, but if you use frozen, defrost and drain first)

For sauce

• 3/4 cup water
• 1/2 cup brown sugar
• 1/2 cup cider vinegar
• 2 tablespoons tomato sauce
• 2 cloves garlic, minced
• 1 teaspoon fish sauce
• 1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
• 1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes
• a few drops of sesame oil
• 1 tablespoon corn starch
• 1 tablespoon soy sauce
• 1/4 cup water

Directions

For beef 

1. Beat egg in a bowl. Add garlic. 
2. Dip beef in egg mixture, dredge in corn starch to coat. 
3. In a pan (I used my cast iron skillet), heat about 1/2" vegetable oil. Add beef slices, a few at a time and fry until golden. Remove to paper towel to drain.

For sauce

1. In a medium saucepan (you'll be using vinegar, so make sure the pan is nonreactive), bring water to a boil. Add sugar and stir. Cook until sugar is dissolved. Add vinegar and cook for a minute or so. Add tomato sauce, garlic, fish sauce, ginger, red pepper flakes and sesame oil. Stir and cook another minute.
2. Blend cornstarch, soy sauce and cold water to a paste. Stir into sauce to thicken. 

For broccoli

1. Steam or boil broccoli to whatever consistency you prefer.

Once the beef, sauce and broccoli are done, toss all together over low heat until sauce covers beef and broccoli evenly. Serve over white rice.

Good times!

Pastelitos with Picadillo

     Let me begin with the disclaimer that these are not authentic pastelitos filled with authentic picadillo. They are, however, based on the recipes. I nicked the basic cornmeal recipe from The Daily Meal and winged the picadillo based on the couple other times I made it from authentic recipes. The end result was pretty damned good. We wound up dousing them with some homemade pique hot sauce and they elevated to another level entirely. You can certainly feel free to mess around with the filling. I'm sure that most savory fillings would work here. Next time we might consider adding some cheese in there. Everything is better with cheese. As always, any notes are in blue. 

Pastelitos with Picadillo

Ingredients
Dough

• 2 cups water
• 2 teaspoon salt
• 4 tablespoons butter or margarine
• 4 cups yellow cornmeal
• 1 cup flour
• Vegetable oil for frying

Picadillo Filling

• 1-1/4 pounds ground beef (I used 80/20 to keep the fat down)
• 1 packet Sazon seasoning
• 1/2 cup chopped green olives
• 1 teaspoon dried minced onion
• 1/4 cup tomato sauce
• 1 tablespoon olive oil

Directions

Dough

1. Boil the water in a small saucepan and add the salt and butter. Combine the cornmeal and flour in a bowl. Add the boiling water, mixing well to form a soft dough. Set aside and let stand for 30 minutes.

Picadillo Filling

1. Heat oil in a skillet and add ground beef. Add the minced onion, olives and sazon. Brown the meat. Drain any excess oil.
2. Add the tomato sauce and stir to mix.

Assembly

1. Heat about 1" of vegetable oil in a cast iron skillet
2. Take a big spoonful  (about 2 tablespoons full) of the cornmeal mix and flatten it out in the palm of your hand. Fill it with a heaping teaspoonful of the picadillo. Take another smaller scoop of the cornmeal mix and flatten it over the top. Work it into whatever shape you like. We ended up with pastelitos roughly the size and shape of a hockey puck.
3. Fry each pastelito for 2 minutes on each side or until golden brown.

Good times!

Beef Stew with Kale and Sweet Potatoes

     Kale is awesome. It has become my go to green for just about anything. If a recipe calls for chard, I'm using kale. If it calls for spinach, I'm using kale. If it calls for kale, I'm using twice as much kale. To me kale is really good in soups and stews. Especially this stew I found over at Culinary Hill. I had done a random search for beef, sweet potatoes and kale and this was the first thing I found that didn't look entirely too complicated or disgusting. Not exactly a ringing endorsement, but this is some damned good stew. I toyed about with the recipe and for fun made some ersatz dumplings out of egg roll wrappers. This is a definite winner and you'd be a total weenie for not giving it a try. As always, notes and changes are in blue.

Beef Stew with Kale and Sweet Potatoes
via Culinary Hill

Ingredients

• 2 tablespoons olive oil
• 2 pounds beef stew meat, chopped into ½” pieces (I used 2 pounds of ground beef, cooked and drained)
• 1 – 32 oz. container reduced-sodium beef broth (no beef broth on hand, I went with 32 ounces of water and a beef bouillon cube) 
• 1 – 12 oz. bag of frozen pearl onions (nope. That's not something I keep in the house. I went with a medium yellow onion, chopped)
• 4 carrots, peeled and sliced
• 1 medium sweet potato (about 8 oz.), peeled and sliced
• 1 bay leaf
• 1 sprig fresh rosemary (I used a sprig of dried I had saved from the garden)
• 1 c. frozen peas
• 1 large kale leaf, stemmed and torn into bite-sized pieces (this seems a bit vague. Really? Just one big-ass kale leaf? We used about a half a pound, spines removed)
• Salt and freshly ground black pepper (nope again. There's sodium in the bouillon and the other spices I'm about to use)
• 2 teaspoons Old World Central Street seasoning from The Spice House. (If you don't have access to this spice, it contains: Hungarian sweet paprika, ground celery seed, garlic, sugar, black pepper, onion, ground dill seed, ground fenugreek seed, ground caraway seed, turmeric, green onions, dill weed, powdered bay leaves, cumin, coriander, ginger, cinnamon, fennel, nutmeg, white pepper, basil, chervil, marjoram, parsley, savory, tarragon, thyme, rosemary, cloves, cardamom and Kosher flake salt)
• 1 pack of egg roll wrappers, wadded up and roughly chopped. Don't look at me like that. Just do it. You'll thank me when it's over.

Directions

1. In a large sauce pan or Dutch oven, heat olive oil over medium-high heat until shimmering We went with the Dutch oven. I also would like to confess that I have never actually witnessed oil shimmering, regardless of the temperature I put it on. Just saying). Add beef and cook until browned on all sides, stirring periodically (as mentioned, I used ground beef and made sure it was browned and well drained).
2. Add broth, onions, carrots, sweet potatoes, bay leaf, and rosemary (and the egg roll wrappers. Seriously. I'm totally not kidding. Throw them in the pot). Bring to a boil. Reduce heat, cover, and simmer 30 minutes or until beef is tender and sweet potatoes have broken down.
3. Remove cover and simmer an additional 15 minutes uncovered, stirring periodically, until broth has reduced slightly and thickened (and this will thicken up nicely. Just be patient. This stew gets a wonderful consistency).
4. Remove bay leaf and rosemary stem, leaving any rosemary leaves that have become detached from the stem (don't forget my mother's warning! Unattended bay leaves are a death sentence. You leave that leaf in there, somebody is going to choke to death right at the table. Guaranteed). Stir in peas and kale and simmer until heated through, about 10 minutes more.
5. Season to taste with salt and pepper (didn't need it since I used a spice mix).

Good times!

Smothered Beef (or Pork, or Lamb if you're a Rockefeller)

     "Smothered" foods always struck me as unfortunately named. "Smothered beef" conjures images of someone in a field holding a pillow over a cow's face. This particular smothered dish comes by way of Madhur Jaffrey. This is just packed with all sorts of wonderful flavors and made for a tremendous meal when served over some basmati rice. If you haven't given Indian food a try, I can't recommend it enough. As always, any notes or changes are in blue.

Smothered Beef 
labdhara gosht
via Madhur Jaffrey's Quick and Easy Indian Cooking

Ingredients

• 1 pound boned shoulder of lamb (AHAHAHAHAHA! I'll have the butler get that out of the fridge as soon as he's done wiping my ass with hundred dollar bills. I used stewing beef. Pork will work, too) cut into 1 inch cubes
• 1 small onion, peeled and finely chopped
• 1 inch piece fresh ginger, peeled and finely chopped (we just grated it to save time)
• 1 medium sized tomato, peeled and finely chopped (can't be bothered peeling. We just chopped it)
• 1/2 cup finely chopped cilantro
• 1-2 fresh, hot green chiles, cut into fine rings (leave the seeds in there, you big baby)
• 1/4 teaspoon ground turmeric
• 2 teaspoons garam masala
• 1 teaspoon ground cumin
• 1/4 cup plain yogurt
• 1 tablespoon tomato paste
• 3/4 teaspoon salt, or to taste
• 3 tablespoons vegetable oil
• 4 cloves garlic, peeled and finely chopped
• 1/2 cup water
• Freshly ground black pepper

Directions

1. Put all the ingredients except the oil, garlic and black pepper in a bowl and mix well (I love recipes that are basically "throw all the shit together and apply heat.")
2. Put the oil in a Dutch oven and set over medium high heat. When the oil is hot, add the garlic and stir until the pieces turn medium brown.
3. Throw in the meat mixture and stir a couple times. Add the 1/2 cup water. Bring to a simmer and cover. Cook for about 90 minutes, or until the meat is tender. 
4. Uncover and turn heat to high until sauce is thick. Sprinkle in black pepper to taste.

Good times!

Shepherds Pie

     Shepherds Pie is a deceptive dish. It looks like it would be really simple. However, there's a fair bit of work that goes in to making this dish. It doesn't quite qualify as a PITA, but it's close. This particular version comes from my dear friend, Gordon Ramsay* over at Channel 4. While this dish is not terribly difficult to make, it is a bit labor intensive. It's worth the effort, as you end up with a delicious meal. As always, any notes or changes are in blue.

Shepherds Pie
via my close, personal friend, Gordon Ramsay

Ingredients

• 2 tbsp olive oil
• Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper (I actually have sea salt on hand! Amazing!)
• 1 lb. minced lean lamb (um...no. I'll be using lean ground beef. I'm not made of money)
• 1 large onion, finely grated
• 1 large carrot, finely grated
• 2 cloves garlic
• 2 tbsp Worcestershire sauce
• 1 tbsp tomato puree (I hope that meant tomato paste, because that's what I used)
• Handful of thyme sprigs, leaves picked (not a chance. I used 1 teaspoon dried)
• 1 sprig of rosemary, needles chopped (I used dried here, too)
• 1 cup red wine (I used a dry. I hate drinking dry wines, so I use them for cooking)
• 1-1/4 chicken stock
• 2 pounds Desiree potatoes, peeled and cut into chunks (I don't think that kind of potato is even real. I think Ramsay just made that up and figured nobody would call bullshit. I just used Russets)
• 3 tablespoons butter
• 2 egg yolks
• Parmesan, for grating (or a handy plastic jar, for shaking, since I don't keep block Parmesan on hand)
• 2 tablespoons olive oil
• Sea salt & freshly ground black pepper

Directions

1. Preheat the oven to 350F (180C, Gasmark 4)

2. Heat the oil in a large pan until hot. Season the meat and fry in the oil over moderate to high heat for 2-3 minutes. Stir the onions and carrot into the mince then grate the garlic in as well. Add the Worcestershire sauce, tomato puree (paste) and herbs and cook for 1-2 minutes, stirring constantly. Pour in the red wine and reduce until almost completely evaporated (if you opened a new bottle of wine for this recipe, just go ahead and drink it while you cook. That way, if you screw up, you'll be too shitfaced to care). Add the chicken stock, bring to the boil and simmer until the sauce has thickened

3. Meanwhile, cook the potatoes in boiling salted water until tender. Drain, then return to the hot pan over low heat to dry out briefly. Pass them through a potato ricer (that's a gadget I do not own. I just went ahead and mashed them with my trusty masher) then beat in the egg yolks, followed by about 2 tbsp grated Parmesan. Check for seasoning (don't just point to it on the counter and shout, "There it is!" Add it to the potatoes if needed). 

4. Spoon the meat into the bottom of a large ovenproof dish. Using a large spoon, layer the mashed potato generously on top of the meat, starting from the outside and working your way into the middle (if you try to layer from the middle out, you'll rip a hole in the universe. True story). Grate some extra Parmesan over and season. Fluff up the mash potato with a fork to make rough peaks. Bake in the oven for approximately 20 minutes, until bubbling and golden brown.

Good times!

*Gordon Ramsay is currently unaware I even exist. 

Slow Cooker Spanish-Style Couscous

     I'm still on the fence about slow-cooker recipes that require you to do cooking outside of the slow-cooker. I just want to chuck everything in there and forget about it. I'll make exceptions for ground meat. Nobody wants slow cooked ground meat. That just sounds nasty. After this recipe, I'll also make an exception for couscous, because it takes almost no time to make. The Wife and I really enjoyed this recipe. We tinkered with the ingredients and came up with a winner. It was simple and with a switch to turkey, a healthy meal. As always, any notes and changes are in blue.

Slow Cooker Spanish-Style Couscous
via Crock-Pot Quick & Easy Recipes

Ingredients

• 1 pound ground beef (we had a bunch of ground turkey patties in the freezer, so we used 1.5 pounds of those instead)
• 1 can (14 ounces) beef broth (I don't keep cans of broth on hand. I just filled an empty can with water and dissolved a beef bouillon cube in it)
• 1 green bell pepper, cut into 1/2 inch pieces (you should know by now The Wife doesn't like green peppers, so we went with red instead)
• 1/2 cup pimiento stuffed green olives, sliced
• 1/2 onion, chopped
• 2 cloves garlic, minced
• 1 teaspoon ground cumin
•  1/2 teaspoon dried thyme
• 1 teaspoon Pilsen Latino Seasoning from the Spice House
• 1-1/3 cup water (this is for the couscous. DON'T put it in the slow cooker!)
• 1 cup uncooked couscous (we found a really good roasted garlic and olive oil couscous at ALDI)

Directions

1. Brown meat in a large skillet over medium-high heat, stirring to break up meat (I've never seen a recipe tell you to break up the meat before. Are there people out there just chucking a big wad of meat in the pan and hoping for the best?) Drain fat.
2. Combine broth, bell pepper, olives, onion, garlic, cumin, thyme and meat in slow-cooker. Cover; cook on LOW 5 hours or until bell pepper is tender. 
3. Bring water to a boil over high heat in a small saucepan. Stir in couscous. Cover; remove from heat. Let stand 5 minutes. Fluff with fork (don't forget to take the cover off before fluffing or you may encounter some difficulties). Spoon couscous onto plates; top with beef mixture (use a slotted spoon for getting the beef mixture out. There's going to be a fair amount of liquid left in the slow cooker).

Good times!

Beef Wellington and Sauteed Potatoes

     There are times when I feel like working outside of my comfort zone. Those are times when I want to dabble in recipes outside what would be considered my skill set, if not my budget. Beef Wellington is one of those recipes. It just sounds fancy and expensive. Fortunately, my close, personal friend Gordon Ramsay has provided me with an excellent recipe. I took that recipe and screwed around with it to fit my budget and what I had on hand. The end result? I call it a success. I've never actually had a proper Beef Wellington, so I can't say how close I got. I do know it looked and tasted great, so that's what really matters. Be warned, this recipe does qualify as a PITA (Pain In The Ass). As always, notes and substitutions are in blue. 

Beef Wellington and Sauteed Potatoes
via my close, personal friend, Gordon Ramsay

Ingredients

• 1 lb beef fillet (most boneless roasts work. We're not dumping the money on a fillet) 
• 1 lb flat mushrooms (mushrooms are actually pretty round, so we had trouble with this. We wound up using baby bellas)
• 4-8 slices Parma ham (we just gleefully ingored this and used thinly sliced peppered turkey) 
• English (Dijon) mustard for brushing meat 
• 8 oz puff pastry (save yourself the trouble and just buy a box of ready-made puff pastry) 
• 2 egg yolks 
• Approx 8 Charlotte/New potatoes (those are potatoes that we never have in the house. I think we used some form of gold potato)
• 1 clove garlic, crushed 
• 1 sprig thyme (we went with rosemary and thought it was great) 
• Salt and pepper 
• Olive oil 
• Mustard vinaigrette, optional (so optional we didn't even bother considering using it)

Directions

1. Pre-heat the oven to 400F.

2. Heat some oil in a large pan and quickly fry the seasoned beef all over until it's brown. Remove and allow to cool. (The point of this is simply to sear the beef and give it a nice crust, you don't want to cook the meat at this stage). Allow to cool and brush generously with the mustard.

3. Roughly chop the mushrooms and blend in a food processor to form a puree. Scrape the mixture into a hot, dry pan and allow the water to evaporate. When sufficiently dry (the mixture should be sticking together easily), set aside and cool.

4. Roll out a generous length of cling film (that's UK for plastic wrap. They have different terms for things that we don't use. i.e. boot=trunk, lift=elevator, tallywhacker=pecker froynaden=butter knife), lay out the four slices of Parma ham (or turkey), each one slightly overlapping the last. With a pallet knife (pallet knife. See what I'm talking about? I use a pallet knife for spreading caulk. I just used a spatula, which in the UK, means "kneecap") spread the mushroom mixture evenly over the ham.

5. Place the beef fillet in the middle and keeping a tight hold of the cling film from the outside edge, neatly roll the parma ham and mushrooms over the beef into a tight barrel shape. Twist the ends to secure the cling film. Refrigerate for 10 -15 minutes, this allows the Wellington to set and helps keep the shape.

6. Roll out the pastry quite thinly to a size which will cover your beef. Unwrap the meat from the cling film. Egg wash the edge of the pastry and place the beef in the middle. Roll up the pastry, cut any excess off the ends and fold neatly to the 'underside'. Turnover and egg wash over the top. Chill again to let the pastry cool, approximately 5 minutes. Egg wash again before baking at 400F for 35 - 40 minutes. Rest 8 -10 minutes before slicing (the Wellington, not you. Stop being so lazy).

It's almost as if I know what I'm doing.

7. Par boil the potatoes in salted water. Quarter them and leave the skin on. Sauté in olive oil and butter with the garlic and thyme, until browned and cooked through. Season. Remove the thyme and garlic before serving (that is not happening in our house. Garlic and herbs are never left behind).

8. Serve hearty slices of the Wellington alongside the sautéed potatoes. A classic mustard vinaigrette makes a great dressing (which we would not be bothered to make since this recipe was a Colossal Pain In The Ass).

Whoever made this meme needs to be punished savagely
for failing to use an apostrophe in "it's."
Good Times!

Slow-Cooker Korean Barbecue Beef

     If you work in a school, you are regularly assaulted by students shilling overpriced stuff for fundraisers. I have the standing rule of buying one item from any given fundraiser. Just one. First kid who asks gets the sale. It will always be the single cheapest item in the catalog. It is usually one of those tiny, spiral-bound cook books. This particular cook book was the Crock-Pot Potluck For All Occasions cook book.  The recipe I decided to cook from it was Korean Barbecue Beef. I made a big change by using a roast instead of ribs and wound up putting the ingredients in the cooker in the wrong order. Regardless of my ineptitude, the resulting meal was very tasty and versatile. We originally served some up on rice, and have since made burritos and hoagies. As always, any changes or notes are in blue.

Korean Barbecue Beef
via Crock-Pot Potluck For All Occasions

Ingredients

• 4 to 4-1/2 pounds beef short ribs (we used a 3 pound beef roast)
• 1/4 cup chopped green onions
• 1/4 cup tamari or soy sauce (I'll be honest. I have no idea what the hell tamari sauce is without Googling it. I just used soy sauce)
• 1/4 cup beef broth or water (we went with water)
• 2 teaspoons minced fresh ginger (no fresh ginger on hand. We used 1 teaspoon ground ginger)
• 2 teaspoons minced garlic
• 1 tablespoon packed brown sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon black pepper
• 2 teaspoons dark sesame oil
• 2 teaspoons sesame seeds, toasted (put out sesame seeds to use and then promptly forgot to use them)

Directions

1. Place meat in slow cooker. Combine green onions, soy, broth, brown sugar, ginger garlic and pepper in medium bowl; pour over ribs (naturally I missed the part about combining in another bowl and just threw everything in on top of the meat. I just wound up stirring it all up in the slow cooker). Cover; cook on LOW for 7-8 hours or until meat is fork tender.
2. Remove meat from liquid. Cool slightly (that didn't happen). Trim excess fat and discard. Cut meat into bite sized pieces, discarding bones, if any.
3. Let cooking liquid stand 5 minutes to allow fat to rise. Skim off fat and discard (look, that's not going to happen. I'm eating now. After the leftovers have sat in the fridge overnight I can just pry the layer of fat off the top). Stir sesame oil into cooking liquid (WHOOPS! I put the oil in at the start. No harm, no foul). Sprinkle with sesame seeds (as mentioned, I totally forgot to use the seeds)

Good times!

Baked Daube Provencal via The Dutch Oven Cookbook

     Certain recipes just ask to be made. It could be a combinations of flavors.  It could be an exotic ingredient. It could just be a favorite comfort food. Or it could be because it calls for an entire bottle of wine. Not a quarter cup, not even a cup. A whole freaking bottle of wine. That is what drew me to this recipe in The Dutch Oven Cookbook. This is a very rich French beef stew. The gravy is absolutely phenomenal. We served it with some mashed potatoes and rustic herb bread for a hearty and satisfying dinner. It takes a while to cook, but it is totally worth it. As always, changes and notes are in blue.

Baked Daube Provencal
via The Dutch Oven Cookbook

Ingredients

• 2-1/2 to 3 pounds beef chuck roast 
• 1/4 cup all-purpose flour, seasoned with salt and pepper, for coating
• 3 tablespoons olive oil
• 2 strips bacon, cut crosswise into 1" slices
• 1 medium sweet yellow onion, cut into crescent slices
• 1 standard bottle of red wine (I suppose they're insinuating someone might use something non-standard, like a gallon bottle of Gallo or a big old box of Franzia. I used Barefoot Zinfandel, a dry red)
• 1/4 cup tomato paste
• 2 bay leaves (Don't forget to take these out before you serve. My mom always swore somebody would choke to death on a bay leaf if you left it in.)
• 2 strips of orange zest 
• One 14.5 ounce can chopped tomatoes, drained (I used a can of stewed tomatoes and chopped them myself. I'm reckless that way.)

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 325F
2. Trim the fat from the beef and cut into 2" pieces (the roast, not the fat.) Put the seasoned flour in a medium sized bowl and coat the pieces of meat with the flour mixture.
3. Heat the olive oil over medium heat in a 5-1/2 quart Dutch oven. Brown the meat in two batches and remove to a platter, with the juices (seriously, no draining the roast.) 
4. Add the bacon and onions to the Dutch oven and cook for 3-4 minutes. 
5. Pour in the red wine and simmer for 5 minutes (use this time to scrape up the good stuff stuck to the bottom of the pot.)
6. Add the tomato paste, bay leaves and orange zest. Stir and simmer for 5 minutes.
7. Add the meat and juices back into the pot.
8. Put a piece of buttered parchment paper directly on top of the meat (I have no idea what sorcery was at work with this step, but I did it anyway). Put the cover on and put the pot in the preheated oven. Bake for 90 minutes.
9. Remove from the oven and discard the parchment paper. Add the chopped tomatoes and bake uncovered for an additional 30 minutes.

Good times!

Thoughts on Chili

     I cook chili because of my father. He imparted a great deal of wisdom upon me during his time on Earth. One of his finest nuggets was that if someone did something particularly bad, that person did it "like a man with a paper rectum."

RECTUM? Damn near killed 'em!

     He went to his grave never having adequately explained what that meant. He also told me that being able to make good chili was a very important skill. That was clearly defined for me. The base of his recipe was a simple 1:1 ratio for meat, tomato sauce and beans. 1 pound of meat, 1 28oz can tomato sauce, 1 can kidney beans. He'd normally drag out his cauldron and drop in five pounds of ground beef.  Then he'd work the magic. Onions, green peppers, and the seasonings. My lord, the seasonings. Nothing was off limits. At the very least, a tin of regular chili powder and a tin of hot chili powder were going in. Possibly two of each. I never really got a handle on what all he was throwing in there. It was just enough to watch him go. His favorite thing to add was something called "Desert Dust." It was nothing more than powdered jalapeno.

     When he threw in enough of whatever he wanted to throw in, he'd set it to simmer for a couple hours. Then we'd have a bowl. No cheese. No sour cream. He felt those things were for the weak. He would always serve a loaf of garlic bread on the side. The chili had heat and flavor. It was wonderful. "It's better the next day," he would tell us. He was right. A night in the fridge would take it to another level entirely. We'd eat on that pot of chili for days on end without getting tired of it. He never had a solid recipe for chili. He just had that base and sort of winged it. It was a little different each time, but it never varied too far from the base flavor.  Certain things were off limits in chili for my dad. Cinnamon and chocolate were two things he would never put in chili. If it was served over anything, it was elbow macaroni.

If you don't love chili, you're probably a Communist.

      I love making chili. Over the years my recipe has drifted away from my father's. I add chorizo, take out the pepper, use cumin and liquid smoke.  I play with a lot more seasoning than my father did.  I make it hotter or more mild depending on my audience. I've made it so hot it's caused migraines and one unconfirmed death. I make it because it is a comfort food. Mostly I make it because it reminds me of my dad.

Good times!

Weekday Meal Project

     I've been doing a lot more cooking than normal lately, and really enjoying it. We've been eating well and not working too hard to make it happen. During that time, I've heard some naysayers claim it's too expensive to eat healthy. I suppose that depends on your definition of healthy. Organic? Yes, that's expensive. We count calories for the most part in my house. We try to keep sodium and fat down, but if you watch calories, everything else falls into place, more or less.
     For a week I made it a point to cook at least four of the five workdays. I wanted to see if I could make quick meals that were not more than 300 calories. I also wanted to do this without breaking the bank. I'm going to tell you what I cooked each night and give an approximate cost assuming you only had the spices on hand. I am basing costs on shopping at ALDI, Wal-Mart and County Market.

Monday: Shrimp Scampi (two servings). 340 calories with rice.
About $3.50-$4.00 per serving.

Tuesday: I had to work late. Bought two 6-inch subs with a coupon. The subs were around 350-400 calories a piece. $5.50

Wednesday: Orange-Teriyaki Beef and Noodles (two servings). 300 calories.
About $3.50-$4.50 per serving

Thursday: Thai Curry Chicken Soup (3 servings). 210 calories.
About $1.00-$1.50 per serving

Friday: Crab and Spinach Enchiladas (4 servings) 265 calories.
About $2.00-$2.50 per serving

     So there you have it. A work week of meals. Good, healthy foods. Total cost? Somewhere in the range of $14.50-$18.00. That's feeding two people, with two nights having leftovers. Only one meal I cooked went over 300 calories, and that was only 40 over. It's not easy to eat right for not a lot of money. You only need to remember one thing.

Shop Smart.

Good times!

Bonus Recipe: Orange Teriyaki Beef With Noodles

    Due to the overwhelming response by one person to request I post a pictured meal, I present to you another fine selection from the Betty Crocker 300 Calorie Cookbook.  As I've mentioned before, sometimes I mess around with recipes. Substitutions and omissions happen with alarming frequency. That occurred with this particular recipe. I couldn't have been happier with the results. So, in the interest of full disclosure, I will print the original recipe in black. All changes will show immediately in blue. Here we go:

Orange Teriyaki Beef With Noodles

Ingredients

• 1/2 pound beef sirloin, cut into thin strips (I used stew meat)
• 1 cup reduced sodium beef broth (this dish is crazy sodium packed. I just used water)
• 2T teriyaki sauce
• 1T orange marmalade
• Dash of cayenne pepper (I left this out and substituted a tablespoon of my hot pepper jelly)
• 1/4 cup sugar snap pea pods (omitted and substituted with a red bell pepper and 2 scallions)
• 1/4 cup uncooked fine egg noodles (omitted and substituted with a pack of Ramen noodles. Save the seasoning packet for something else.)
• 1.5t corn starch
• 1.5T cold water

Directions

1. Heat 1T oil in a skillet over medium-high heat. Cook beef in skillet for 2 to 4 minutes, stirring occasionally, until brown. Remove from skillet; keep warm.
2. Add broth, stir-fry sauce, marmalade and red pepper to skillet. Heat to boiling. Stir in pea pods and noodles; reduce heat to medium. Cover and cook about 5 minutes or until noodles are tender. (Big changes here. Add broth, teriyaki, marmalade, pepper jelly, pepper and scallion. Bring to boil, reduce heat and simmer for 5-7 minutes.)
3. Cook Ramen noodles as directed, strain and set aside. DO NOT USE THE SEASONING PACKET.
4. In a small bowl, combine corn starch and water. Stir until dissolved. Pour into broth mixture.
5. Stir in beef. Cook uncovered 2-3 minutes or until sauce has thickened.
6. Serve over Ramen.

Serves 2. About 270 calories per serving

Good times!

Cooking Vocab: Expensive Ingredients

     I have a lot of cookbooks and cooking magazines.  After careful perusal of said sources, I have noticed there are clear indicators of an expensive recipe. There are certain ingredients that will have a  distinct impact on your bank accounts.  Ingredients that should at least include a hand-job for what you have to pay.  Here is a small sampling of words that will cost you money:

Any Ingredient that Involves Molecular Gastronomy:  This fad can go away now. I have no need to play Bill Nye the Kitchen Guy. If you're using liquid nitrogen in your cooking you probably have too much time and money on your hands.

Gruyere: This cheese is a go-to for fondues, baking and melts. If you go to a good restaurant, it should be floating atop your French onion soup. It is mellow and delicious. It is also about $15-20 per pound. Just buy some Swiss or Emmental.

Kobe Beef: It used to be if you bought Kobe beef a while back, you weren't buying Kobe beef. It wasn't actually legal in the United States. Well, now it is, and it's hundreds of dollars for a steak. It may be the greatest piece of meat ever. But it has no place in the MCK. If you're blowing enough money to feed a family of four for a couple of weeks on a single piece of meat, you are truly an irredeemable asshole.

More than likely enjoying a piece of Kobe beef as you read this.

Prosciutto: My God I love prosciutto. One of my favorite recipes is a pork loin stuffed with Italian sausage and wrapped in prosciutto. However, that prosciutto costs in the range of $7-15 a pound depending on quality.

Saffron: About $100 per ounce. There are no acceptable substitutes. Is your paella going to survive without it? Probably.

Truffle: I don't care if it's the solid or the oil. I don't care how wonderful they are. They're damned mushrooms. They're over $1,000 a pound, with some varieties soaring into the $3,000 and up range. I'll just buy a container of porcini and blow the other $990 on booze.

     And that's enough gentle fun for today. The only thing better than a lame post is a lame post posted late.
Good times!