Slow Cooker BBQ Chicken with Cheesy Grits

     Cheesy grits seem to be all the rage lately. You can't open a cooking magazine and not find something served over grits. For me, grits were always something you'd order at Huddle House- a bowl of mush swimming in melted butter. This time, it's swimming in cheese. Cheese makes everything better. At the very least, cheese makes The Wife happy, which makes my life very easy. Though the recipe isn't made entirely in the slow-cooker, it is about the lamest, laziest recipe I've ever devised, which is hilarious because it's really damned good. Give it a try and tell me I'm wrong. You'd be lying, because I'm not wrong. It's really damned good. As always, notes are in blue.

Slow-cooker BBQ Chicken
and Cheesy Grits

Ingredients
BBQ Chicken

• 1 pound chicken, skin removed (we used drumsticks. There's nothing stopping you from using boneless, skinless chicken. In the long run, that would probably save you a little time and work)
• 1 bottle of BBQ sauce of your choice. 

Cheesy Grits

• 1 cup grits
• 3 cups water
• 1 teaspoon adobo seasoning
• 1 cup shredded cheese of your choice (we used a bagged mix of cheddar, American and Swiss)

Directions

Chicken

1. Pour BBQ sauce into a slow cooker. 
2. Fill BBQ sauce bottle half-way and shake. Pour into slow-cooker.
3. Add chicken and cook on LOW 6-7 hours or until chicken is done.
4. Remove the meat from the bone and discard the bones. Return the meat to the sauce. If using boneless, shred the meat and return to the sauce.

Cheesy Grits (Done on the stove)

1. In a saucepan, bring 3 cups of water to a rolling boil. Add the adobo seasoning.
2. Stir in grits and cheese. Lower heat to medium-low. Cover and cook for 5 minutes. About halfway through the cooking, stir to make sure nothing is sticking to the bottom of the pan (you may find this step is easier if you remove the lid first. Put the lid back on when you're done stirring)
3. After 5 minutes, take off lid and remove from heat. Grits should be creamy.

Assembly

1. Take a big scoop of grits and put them on a plate.
2. Take a big scoop of chicken and sauce and place it on the grits.
3. Unceremoniously shovel the concoction in your face and enjoy. Maybe have a beer or two with this. I'd recommend a nice wheat beer. Or Guinness. You can never go wrong with Guinness. 
4. Damn it, now I want a Guinness and I don't have any in the house.
5. I'll be damned if I'm making a special trip to the store to buy Guinness.
6. It's better on draft anyway.
7. Ah screw it, I'll just have a bourbon and cola.

Good times!

Too Damned Easy Slow-Cooker BBQ Green Beans and Sausage

     I am so proud of the wife. She finally just chucked aside the recipe books and winged it. She was looking for a green bean recipe for a slow cooker when she suggested adding Italian sausage. Then she made a bold choice and grabbed a half pint of my BBQ jalapenos and onions. The result? A spicy and delicious dish that could serve as a side or even a main course. As always, any notes are in blue.

Too Damned Easy
Slow Cooker BBQ Green Beans and Sausage
via The Wife

Ingredients

• 1 pound green beans (we used fresh that we got out of the garden. The wife just gave them a wash and trim. You could certainly get by with a pound of frozen)
• 1 pound sweet Italian sausage
• 1/2 pint BBQ Jalapenos and Onions

Directions

1. Put green beans into slow cooker
2. Slice sausage into 1" pieces. Fry in a skillet with a bit of oil until brown. Add sausage to slow cooker.
3. Pour BBQ peppers and onions over the top.
4. Cook on HIGH for 4 hours.

Good times!

Slow-Cooker Korean Barbecue Beef

     If you work in a school, you are regularly assaulted by students shilling overpriced stuff for fundraisers. I have the standing rule of buying one item from any given fundraiser. Just one. First kid who asks gets the sale. It will always be the single cheapest item in the catalog. It is usually one of those tiny, spiral-bound cook books. This particular cook book was the Crock-Pot Potluck For All Occasions cook book.  The recipe I decided to cook from it was Korean Barbecue Beef. I made a big change by using a roast instead of ribs and wound up putting the ingredients in the cooker in the wrong order. Regardless of my ineptitude, the resulting meal was very tasty and versatile. We originally served some up on rice, and have since made burritos and hoagies. As always, any changes or notes are in blue.

Korean Barbecue Beef
via Crock-Pot Potluck For All Occasions

Ingredients

• 4 to 4-1/2 pounds beef short ribs (we used a 3 pound beef roast)
• 1/4 cup chopped green onions
• 1/4 cup tamari or soy sauce (I'll be honest. I have no idea what the hell tamari sauce is without Googling it. I just used soy sauce)
• 1/4 cup beef broth or water (we went with water)
• 2 teaspoons minced fresh ginger (no fresh ginger on hand. We used 1 teaspoon ground ginger)
• 2 teaspoons minced garlic
• 1 tablespoon packed brown sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon black pepper
• 2 teaspoons dark sesame oil
• 2 teaspoons sesame seeds, toasted (put out sesame seeds to use and then promptly forgot to use them)

Directions

1. Place meat in slow cooker. Combine green onions, soy, broth, brown sugar, ginger garlic and pepper in medium bowl; pour over ribs (naturally I missed the part about combining in another bowl and just threw everything in on top of the meat. I just wound up stirring it all up in the slow cooker). Cover; cook on LOW for 7-8 hours or until meat is fork tender.
2. Remove meat from liquid. Cool slightly (that didn't happen). Trim excess fat and discard. Cut meat into bite sized pieces, discarding bones, if any.
3. Let cooking liquid stand 5 minutes to allow fat to rise. Skim off fat and discard (look, that's not going to happen. I'm eating now. After the leftovers have sat in the fridge overnight I can just pry the layer of fat off the top). Stir sesame oil into cooking liquid (WHOOPS! I put the oil in at the start. No harm, no foul). Sprinkle with sesame seeds (as mentioned, I totally forgot to use the seeds)

Good times!

BBQ Jalapeno Peppers and Onions

     Every year, the garden produces jalapeno and banana peppers faster than I can use them. Desperate times called for desperate measures. I turned to Allrecipes.  After digging around, I found one of my favorite recipes for working through surplus peppers. I've tweaked the recipe to add in more of my produce. This recipe makes a LOT of extra sauce, so don't be shy about loading in extra peppers and onions. Even if you do have extra sauce, it's vinegar based, so it will can well.

     I'm not joking when I tell you that this sauce is the bomb-diggety. True story, I gave a pint to a co-worker because he liked it so much. Somehow, it fell out of his mailbox in the workroom and shattered. He came to me literally on the verge of tears. I brought him a quart the next day. He cradled it in his arms and smiled tenderly at it. I'm fairly sure he showed more affection for that quart of sauce than his own kids. Either way, this sauce is beyond good and will bring any meat to another level entirely. As always, notes and changes are in blue.

BBQ Peppers and Onions
via Allrecipes

Ingredients

• 2 cups corn oil 
• 2 cups cider vinegar 
• 2 cups white sugar 
• 4 cups ketchup 
• 1 pound fresh jalapeno peppers, sliced into rings 
• 1 pinch dried oregano (in this case, a pinch is a teaspoon)
• 1 clove garlic, minced 
• 1 pound fresh Banana Peppers, sliced into rings
• At least 1 large Yellow Onion, sliced

Directions

1. In a large pot, stir together the corn oil, cider vinegar, sugar, and ketchup until sugar has dissolved completely. 
2. Bring to a boil, then add the jalapeno peppers (any other peppers and onion go in at this step, too). Reduce heat to low, and simmer for 10 minutes. Season with oregano and garlic. 
3. Ladle into sterile pint jars, leaving 1/4 inch of space at the top. Wipe rims with a clean dry towel. Seal with lids and rings. Process in a hot water bath for 10 minutes to seal (I can't say I agree with the time of the water bath here, especially not for a full pint. As a rule of thumb, I do 12 minutes for a half pint, 15 for a full pint. I've done it my way for three years and haven't killed anybody yet)
4. Refrigerate any unsealed jars.

Good times!