RC-Tequila Carnitas

     I am a Goddamn genius. I'm just putting it out there right now. This recipe is proof of my towering intellect.  I have created a meal of such unsurpassed deliciousness that even the most accomplished chef would bow before it. I can say without fear of contradiction that this is one of the greatest things I have ever cooked. All bombast aside, this is truly a fantastic dish. It's also super easy to make, though it does take a while. I have always enjoyed the carnitas I would get at Mexican restaurants and wanted to make them at home. Granted, I don't think RC and bottom shelf tequila qualify as authentic Mexican, but such is life. It's good. So good. Change your pants good. Just make it. Then shower me with the praise I no doubt deserve.

RC-Tequila Carnitas

Ingredients

• 2 pound pork shoulder (Boston Butt)
• 1 sweet onion, cut in half and thinly sliced
• 2 cans cola (we used RC)
• 1/3 cup tequila (I imagine the tequila you use will slightly effect the flavor. We used Sauza white tequila)
• 2 tablespoons vegetable oil
• Salt, pepper, red pepper flakes, fennel seeds

Directions

1. Rub meat (*snicker*) with salt, pepper, red pepper and fennel. Set aside.
2. In a large enameled cast iron dutch oven, heat 2 tablespoons oil at medium-high heat. Add onion and cook for 5-7 minutes, stirring occasionally, until onions are golden brown. 
3. Turn up heat a bit and add roast, searing on each side for a couple minutes or until it starts to brown.
4. Add the cola and tequila. Liquid should be deep enough that at least half the meat is submerged. Bring to a boil, then reduce to a simmer. 
5. Cover and put in oven preheated to 350F (180C, Gasmark 4) and cook for 3 hours. Check level of liquid, adding more if necessary to keep the roast about halfway in the liquid.
6. Reduce heat to 250F (130C, Gasmark 1/2) and cook another hour. 
7. Remove meat from dutch oven and use two forks to pull the meat into chunks (don't fully shred the meat. You want some nice quarter-sized chunks of meat)
8. Spread the meat on a baking sheet or in a Pyrex dish. Put under the broiler for 5-10 minutes or until the meat starts to crisp a bit on the edges.
9. Take any remaining liquid and onion from the dutch oven and stir it in with the meat. 

Better than the usual Good Times!

Slow Cooker BBQ Chicken with Cheesy Grits

     Cheesy grits seem to be all the rage lately. You can't open a cooking magazine and not find something served over grits. For me, grits were always something you'd order at Huddle House- a bowl of mush swimming in melted butter. This time, it's swimming in cheese. Cheese makes everything better. At the very least, cheese makes The Wife happy, which makes my life very easy. Though the recipe isn't made entirely in the slow-cooker, it is about the lamest, laziest recipe I've ever devised, which is hilarious because it's really damned good. Give it a try and tell me I'm wrong. You'd be lying, because I'm not wrong. It's really damned good. As always, notes are in blue.

Slow-cooker BBQ Chicken
and Cheesy Grits

Ingredients
BBQ Chicken

• 1 pound chicken, skin removed (we used drumsticks. There's nothing stopping you from using boneless, skinless chicken. In the long run, that would probably save you a little time and work)
• 1 bottle of BBQ sauce of your choice. 

Cheesy Grits

• 1 cup grits
• 3 cups water
• 1 teaspoon adobo seasoning
• 1 cup shredded cheese of your choice (we used a bagged mix of cheddar, American and Swiss)

Directions

Chicken

1. Pour BBQ sauce into a slow cooker. 
2. Fill BBQ sauce bottle half-way and shake. Pour into slow-cooker.
3. Add chicken and cook on LOW 6-7 hours or until chicken is done.
4. Remove the meat from the bone and discard the bones. Return the meat to the sauce. If using boneless, shred the meat and return to the sauce.

Cheesy Grits (Done on the stove)

1. In a saucepan, bring 3 cups of water to a rolling boil. Add the adobo seasoning.
2. Stir in grits and cheese. Lower heat to medium-low. Cover and cook for 5 minutes. About halfway through the cooking, stir to make sure nothing is sticking to the bottom of the pan (you may find this step is easier if you remove the lid first. Put the lid back on when you're done stirring)
3. After 5 minutes, take off lid and remove from heat. Grits should be creamy.

Assembly

1. Take a big scoop of grits and put them on a plate.
2. Take a big scoop of chicken and sauce and place it on the grits.
3. Unceremoniously shovel the concoction in your face and enjoy. Maybe have a beer or two with this. I'd recommend a nice wheat beer. Or Guinness. You can never go wrong with Guinness. 
4. Damn it, now I want a Guinness and I don't have any in the house.
5. I'll be damned if I'm making a special trip to the store to buy Guinness.
6. It's better on draft anyway.
7. Ah screw it, I'll just have a bourbon and cola.

Good times!