Sour Cream Cranberry Coffee Cake

     Coffee cake holds a bit of nostalgia for me. When my mom would have company over, she'd eventually ask if anybody wanted "coffeeanne." At least that's what I heard as a child. What she was talking about was a spot of dessert. She was serving coffee and a light dessert. That dessert was usually a coffee cake. The coffee cakes were almost always the packaged Entenmann's ones. I can't have coffee cake without thinking of a group of adults at the kitchen table, smoking cigarettes and drinking coffee while eating coffee cake. Nostalgia aside, this is a moist and tasty coffee cake. The cranberries give it a hell of a zing. I would be happy to serve this with my next coffeeanne. As always, notes and changes are in blue.

Sour Cream Cranberry Coffee Cake
via Taste of Home Everyday Light Meals

Ingredients

• 2 cups all purpose flour
• 3/4 cup sugar
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1/4 teaspoon baking soda
• 1 egg
• 1 cup (8 ounces) reduced fat sour cream
• 1/4 cup unsweetened applesauce (we used sweetened, since it's all we had in the house)
• 3 tablespoons canola oil (I figure vegetable oil is close enough. That's what I used, anyways)
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1-1/2 cups fresh or frozen blueberries (The Wife suggested we use the frozen cranberries lurking in the back of the freezer before they achieved sentience and attempted to take over the house)
• Topping
• 1/4 cup packed brown sugar
• 1/4 cup quick-cooking oats 
• 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 2 tablespoons cold butter

Directions

1. In a large bowl, combine the first five ingredients. In another bowl, combine the egg, sour cream, applesauce, oil and vanilla (why did they specify these ingredients and not just say "the next five ingredients? Do they think we're stupid? Probably. Screw these people.) Stir into dry ingredients until just moistened. Fold in berries. Pour into a 9-inch square baking pan (we used a 9"x13" Pyrex dish) coated with nonstick cooking spray.
2. For topping, in a bowl, combine the brown sugar, oats and cinnamon. Cut in the butter until mixture resembles coarse crumbs. Sprinkle over batter. 
3. Bake at 350F (180C Gasmark 4) for 40-45 minutes or until toothpick inserted near the center comes out clean (ours took the full 45 minutes).

Good times!

Bacon Pecan Sweet Rolls

     It began one morning when I asked The Wife if she wanted bacon for breakfast. She replied that if we did that, we'd have a bunch left over and what would we do with it? The conversation quickly degenerated into a discussion of bacon-related ideas. This recipe is the culmination of those ideas. We never did have bacon for breakfast. I think I had a bagel and lox and she had grits and fried eggs. Anyways, I found a breakfast roll recipe in my trusty copy of Taste of Home: Everyday Light Meals and promptly cannibalized it. The result was well beyond our expectations. These rolls are phenomenally good and frighteningly large. We generally have to split one. Good luck not eating the whole pan. As always, any notes are in blue.

Bacon Pecan Sweet Rolls

Ingredients

• 1 package (.25 ounce) active dry yeast
• 1/2 cup warm water (110-115F, 43-46C)
• 2 cups warm milk (110-115F, 43-46C)
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 cup whole wheat flour
• 6 cups all purpose flour
• 1 cup brown sugar, separated into one 1/2 cup and two 1/4 cup measures
• 1/2 cup maple syrup, separated into two 1/4 cup measures
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1-1/2 cup pecans
• 12 ounces applewood smoked bacon

For Icing

• 1 cup confectioner's sugar
• 4 teaspoons milk
• 1 tablespoon of crumbled bacon and pecans (you'll see where they get crumbled down in the instructions. Remain calm)

Directions

1. Line two baking sheets with foil. Spray with nonstick cooking spray. 
2. On one sheet, lay out the bacon in strips. Sprinkle evenly with one of the 1/4 cups of brown sugar
3. On the other pan, spread the pecans in a single layer. Sprinkle evenly with the other 1/4 cup of brown sugar.
4. Put the pans in an oven preheated to 350F (180C, Gasmark 4). (things get a bit tricky here. You're going to want to make sure the bacon is getting crispy and the sugar caramelized, without burning the sugar or the nuts. You're going to just have to check in every 5 minutes or so. After 10 minutes, the nuts were as caramelized as they were going to get without burning.The bacon went another 5-10 minutes. If you smell smoke, you fucked up and burned everything. At that point, just stop and fix yourself a drink) When done, remove from oven and allow to cool.
5. Crumble the bacon and crush the nuts (You could do this by hand if you prefer large pieces. I put mine in a small blender and pulsed it until there were small pieces and the nuts were starting to turn to dust). Reserve 1 tablespoon of this mixture for later use.
6. In a mixing bowl, dissolve yeast in warm water. Stir in warm milk, salt, whole wheat flour, 1/4 cup maple syrup, vanilla extract and 3 cups of flour. Beat until smooth (I used the Kitchenaid with a dough hook for this step) Add in enough of the remaining flour to form a soft dough (the syrup makes this dough super sticky. I added a full 3 extra cups of flour before the dough was workable) Knead dough 6-8 minutes, until smooth and elastic. Cover and let rise in a warm place until doubled, about 1-1/4 hours.
7. Punch dough down. Turn onto a floured surface and knead a few more times. Roll into an 18 inch square. Spread bacon and pecan mixture to within 1/2 inch of the edges. Do the same with the remaining 1/2 cup of brown sugar. Evenly pour the other 1/4 cup of maple syrup over the rest (why the hell not? At this point, you might as well just turn in your pancreas) Roll up jelly-roll style. Pinch seam to seal. Cut into 12 pieces. Place in a 13"x9"x2" baking dish coated with nonstick cooking spray. Cover and let rise, about 30 minutes (I suggest covering it loosely with some plastic wrap coated with nonstick cooking spray, then lay a towel over the whole thing. If you put the towel right on top, you're going to get the towel stuck to the rolls. Don't ask me how I know this)

   

   It took The Wife and I both to roll this thing up
   because the damned thing was sticking to the counter.

8. Bake at 350F (180C, Gasmark 4) for 30 minutes or until lightly browned (cooking times may vary.) Cool on a wire rack for 30 minutes.
9. For the glaze, combine confectioner's sugar, reserved bacon/pecan mix and 4 teaspoons of milk. Stir until sugar has dissolved (you may need to add more milk to keep this from being the consistency of Spackle) Pour evenly over the tops of the rolls. 

Good times!

Loaded Oatmeal Cookies

     Sometimes you find recipes in odd places. This particular recipe came by way of a book I found at a garage sale last fall. When I dropped fifty cents on Southern Recipes and Legends, I didn't expect to find any real gems. Mostly I thought the legends would be fun to read. Once you get past the shaky editing, you start to find some recipes that are genuine winners. A particularly good one was for Bonnie Doone Plantation Thanksgiving Cookies. That's a hell of a mouthful to say. The cookies are also a hell of a mouthful. They are packed with all sorts of goodies. There's chocolate, oats, cranberries, raisins, walnuts (if you want them). I wound up renaming them Loaded Oatmeal Cookies. They are super easy to make and the recipe yields over 3 dozen cookies. As always, any notes and changes are in blue.

Loaded Oatmeal Cookies
aka Bonnie Doone Plantation Thanksgiving Cookies
via Southern Recipes and Legends by Nancy Rhyne

Ingredients

• 2 cups all-purpose flour
• 3/4 cup granulated sugar
• 3/4 cup brown sugar
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1 egg
• 2-1/2 cups rolled oats
• 1 cup raisins
• 2 cups cranberries, pitted and mashed slightly (we substituted 1 cup of craisins)
• 1 cup chocolate chips
• 1 cup melted butter
• 1 cup chopped walnuts (omitted)

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 375F (190F, Gasmark 5)
2. Combine all ingredients (I certainly hope you have a Kitchenaid or something similar, because this batter will be stiff. Mixing it by hand is going to be a chore). 
3. Drop by teaspoon (I assure you, you don't want to do this. Go by tablespoons. You'll still end up with 40 or so cookies) onto a greased cookie sheet. 
4. Bake for 10-12 minutes (this is pretty accurate. Do not go by the consistency of the tops of the cookies; they will be very soft right out of the oven. Lift one up and check the bottom. If it's golden brown, it's done. The cookie will set up once it cools off).

Good times!

Thai-Style Curry Chicken Soup

     We are always on the lookout for quick and easy weeknight meals. If they are low in calories, even better. If it tastes good, too, that's a bonus. The Betty Crocker 300 Calorie Cookbook yielded a recipe that filled all the criteria! It also filled out stomachs, which was nice. Is this an authentic Thai soup? Probably not by a longshot. However, it's a fair approximation and comes together in under 30 minutes. The curry and jalapeno give it a nice bite. This is a good soup for a cool weeknight dinner. It's also a good way to use up leftover chicken. As always, notes and changes are in blue.

Thai-Style Curry Chicken Soup
via Betty Crocker 300 Calorie Cookbook

Ingredients

• 1 carton (32 ounces) chicken broth (we rustic types don't use broth from a carton. We use real chicken stock we made from real chicken carcasses)
• 3 tablespoons packed brown sugar
• 2 tablespoons soy sauce
• 2 tablespoons rice vinegar
• 2 teaspoons curry powder
• 1 small (about 1/2 cup) red bell pepper, coarsely chopped
• 1 small jalapeno chile, seeded, finely chopped (leave the seeds in if you want extra heat. I went ahead and seeded mine because it was a much larger than the "small" the recipe calls for)
• 2 cups chopped cooked chicken. 
• 2 tablespoons chopped, fresh cilantro (I used 2 teaspoons dried)

Directions

1. In a large saucepan, stir all ingredients except chicken and cilantro. Heat to boiling over medium-high heat. Reduce heat to medium. Simmer uncovered 3-5 minutes or until pepper is crisp-tender.
2. Stir in chicken. Cook 1-2 minutes or until chicken is hot. Stir in cilantro just before serving.

Good times!

Banana Bread

     You just can't beat a well made banana bread. What a noble bread. Selflessly using bananas that would otherwise be thrown away, banana bread is perfect any time of day. This particular recipe comes by way of The Wife. She says she got the recipe from one of those "1,000,000 Recipes of Which Maybe 12 Are Any Good" CD-Roms. This is, indeed, a good recipe. The bread is moist and delicious. You could probably get away with adding some nuts to this recipe, but we're not much for nutty breads. Do what you want; we're not here to judge. As always, any notes are in blue.

Banana Bread

Ingredients

• 1/2 cup butter, softened
• 1/2 cup white sugar
• 1/4 cup brown sugar
• 1 egg
• 2 cups flour
• 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
• 2 teaspoons baking powder
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon cinnamon
• 1 cup (2 medium over-ripe) mashed bananas
• 1 tablespoon milk
• For topping: 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon, 2 teaspoons white sugar

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350F (180C, Gasmark 4). Spray a 9x5" loaf pan with non-stick cooking spray.
2. Beat butter with sugars until light and fluffy (if you don't have a Kitchenaid or electric mixer, this will be a PITA). Add egg and beat well. 
3. In a large bowl, mix flour with baking soda, baking powder, salt, and cinnamon. In another bowl, mix banana with milk.
4. Add half the banana mixture to the butter mixture, mixing until smooth; add half the flour mixture and mix until smooth. Repeat process with second half of the banana and flour mixtures. 
5. Pour batter into loaf pan. In a small bowl (just use the bowl you used for the flour. No sense in dirtying a third bowl), mix the 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon with 2 teaspoons white sugar; sprinkle over top of batter. 
6. Bake at 350F (180C, Gasmark 4) for 60 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted near the center comes out clean (cooking times will vary). Remove immediately to a wire rack to cool. 

Good times!

Whole Wheat Bread

     Shockingly, I once again turn to my well-worn copy of Taste of Home Everyday Light Meals for a bread recipe. This time it's a simple whole wheat bread. The original recipe called for walnuts, but as you may know, The Wife isn't a big fan of nuts in her bread. I tend to agree with her. I think this bread is fine without the added texture. This makes for a rustic, crusty loaf that's great with soups, or toasted and covered in butter at breakfast. One warning, if the bread doesn't cook evenly, it will rise funny in the oven and end up looking like a mushroom cloud. It still will taste fine, it will just look goofy. A friend has told me that scoring an "X" about 1/2" deep in the top of the dough before baking will prevent that from happening. As always, any notes or changes are in blue.

Whole Wheat Bread
via Taste of Home Everyday Light Meals

Ingredients

• 2-1/4 cup all-purpose flour
• 1-1/4 cup whole wheat flour
• 3/4 cup finely chopped walnuts (omitted)
• 2 tablespoons brown sugar
• 1 package (1/4 ounce) quick-rise yeast
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 cup water
• 1/3 cup reduced-fat plain yogurt
• 2 tablespoons butter

Directions

1. In a mixing bowl, combine 1 cup all-purpose flour, whole wheat flour, nuts (if using), brown sugar, yeast and salt.
2. In a saucepan, heat the water, yogurt and butter to 120-130F. Add to dry ingredient; beat until smooth.
3. Stir in enough remaining all-purpose flour to form a soft dough (we wound up using the full amount of flour listed in the ingredients). Turn out onto a floured surface; knead until smooth and elastic, about 4 minutes (I just ran it in the Kitchenaid with the dough hook), Do not let rise.
4. Shape dough into a ball; place on baking sheet coated with nonstick cooking spray. Cover and let rest in a warm place for 20 minutes (I know for sure that if I cover this dough and put it in a warm place, it's going to rise. They just told me not to let it rise. Is this some sort of test? What do I do if it starts to rise? Talk it down?) 
5. Bake at 400F (200C, Gasmark 6) for 25-30 minutes or until golden brown (we went close to 40 minutes. Baking times may vary). Remove from pan to cool on wire rack. 

Don't forget to cut an "X" about 1/2" deep in the top before baking
to prevent the loaf from looking like a nuclear bomb test.
Good times!

Bourbon Fruit Cake

     Can any holiday dessert be more recognizable than the ubiquitous fruitcake? No, of course not. That was a rhetorical question. Ubiquitous means you'll find it everywhere. That was a quiz. Did you pass? I hope so, because this is going to be on the final exam. This particular recipe was adapted from a recipe for Kentucky Bourbon Cake I found on About.com's Southern Food section around five years ago. In all fairness, this is not a true fruitcake as we know it. It is not the consistency of blacktop. It is not cloyingly sweet with terrifying unidentifiable bits of detritus suspended within. The original recipe did call for candied cherries and nuts, but I quickly put an end to that nonsense. I want cake. I don't want to be losing fillings and digging things out of my molars all night. This recipe does have a lot going for it. This cake is actually fluffy. It cooks well in any number of different shapes. It's good with icing. It will, however, make your Kitchenaid howl like a damned soul while mixing it. This recipe will fill a 5 quart mixing bowl frighteningly close to the top. It's worth it. When I tell somebody I'm serving fruitcake, they flinch. Then they eat it. Complaints cease. As always, any notes and changes are in blue.

Bourbon Fruit Cake
via About.com 

Ingredients

• 8 ounces red candied cherries, halved (I omitted all the candied cherries and used a jar of drained maraschino cherries)
• 8 ounces green candied cherries, halved (omitted)
• 8 ounces seedless raisins or chopped dates (I'm married so I shouldn't have dates. I used golden raisins)
• 2 cups bourbon (I went with Jim Beam)
• 1 1/2 cups (3 sticks) butter, room temperature
• 2 cups granulated sugar
• 1 cup firmly packed light brown sugar
• 6 large eggs, separated
• 5 cups all-purpose flour
• 2 cups chopped pecans (omitted)
• 2 teaspoons ground nutmeg
• 1 teaspoon baking powder

Directions

1. In a medium bowl, combine the cherries, raisins, and bourbon; cover and let soak overnight. 
2. Preheat the oven to 275°F.
3. In a large bowl, cream the butter and sugars with an electric mixer until light and fluffy; add the egg yolks and beat well. Stir in the soaked fruit with bourbon. In a small bowl, combine 1/2 cup of the flour with the pecans; set aside. Add the remaining flour, nutmeg, and baking powder to the creamed mixture and blend well. In a bowl, beat the egg whites with an electric mixer until stiff peaks form; gently fold into the cake batter. Sprinkle the floured pecans over batter and fold in gently.
4. Grease and flour a 10-inch tube pan and line the bottom with greased waxed paper. (I have made this recipe several times and have never used a tube pan or waxed paper. I've used loaf pans, cake pans, bundt pans). Pour the batter into the pan; bake at 275° for 3 to 3 1/2 hours, or until a wooden pick or cake tester inserted in center comes out clean (this does, in fact, take every bit of 3-1/2 hours if you're using a large pan). 
5. Cool the cake. Turn cake out of the pan, peel off waxed paper (which I did not use), and store in a tightly covered container for several days (this recipe makes me think that you're not supposed to eat the cake. Just store it for several days and then shitcan it. Look, if this lasts more than seven days in your house, you must have cooked it wrong. It's awesome).

Good times!

Slow Cooked Asian Chicken

     It's nice to find a slow cooker recipe you know you're going to get a lot of use out of. These Asian-style recipes are so versatile. This particular one from Taste of Home Slow Cooker benefited greatly from the addition of some black bean and garlic paste. It ended up tasting very similar to a mu shu. So much, in fact, that we cooked up a bit of cabbage, onion and carrot and mixed it in to serve in flour tortillas. This one is a winner. As always, and notes and changes are in blue. 

Slow Cooked Asian Chicken
via Taste of Home Slow Cooker

Ingredients

• 1 broiler/fryer chicken (3-1/2-4 pounds) cut up (we just used 3-1/2 pounds of chicken legs and thighs)
• 2 tablespoons canola oil
• 1/3 cup soy sauce
• 2 tablespoons brown sugar
• 2 tablespoons water
• 1 garlic clove, minced 
• 1 teaspoon ground ginger
• 1/4 cup slivered almonds (omitted)
• 2 tablespoons black bean and garlic paste
• 1 tablespoon corn starch mixed in 1 tablespoon cold water

Directions

1. In a large skillet over medium heat, brown chicken in oil on both sides. Transfer to slow cooker.
2. In a small bowl, combine soy sauce, brown sugar, water, garlic and ginger. Pour over chicken. Cover and cook on LOW for 5-6 hours or until chicken juices run clear.
3. Remove chicken and strip meat from bones. Mix 1 tablespoon corn starch with 1 tablespoon cold water. Mix into sauce in slow cooker. Cook another 15 minutes or until thickened. Return chicken to slow cooker. 

Mix in some cabbage, onion and carrot for a quick faux mu-shu!
Good Times!

Too Damned Easy Bourbon Apple Butter

     My in-laws both have access to a fairly large collection of apple trees. This means that each fall we find ourselves in the possession of 40-60 pounds of apples. One of our go-to methods of working those apples is to render them into apple butter. Years ago I found a recipe online for how to do it and have tweaked it out for my own use. For the life of me I can't recall where I got this. If anybody knows, let me know and I'll give credit for the inspiration where credit is due. This variation uses brown sugar and bourbon and gives a sweet and mellow taste. About 35 medium apples will yield a little over 4 pints of apple butter. These can be processed in a boiling water bath for long term storage. If you are doing pint jars, give them 15 minutes in the bath. (Once again, please defer to the National Center for Home Food Preservation for clear instructions) As always, any notes are in blue.

Too Damned Easy
Bourbon Apple Butter

 Ingredients
per 10 apples

• 10 medium apples peeled, cored and thickly sliced*
• 5 teaspoons ground cinnamon
• 1 cup brown sugar
• 1 cup water 
• 1/4 cup bourbon 

Directions

1. Load the apples in a large pot over medium heat. Add cinnamon, water, bourbon, and sugar. Cook until the apples get soft.
2. Use an immersion blender to blitz the apples until they are the desired consistency (if you don't have a hand blender, you're going to have to mash the apples up by hand. Good luck)
3. Load the sauce into a large slow-cooker (if you're like me and used 30+ apples, you're going to need at least a 5 quart slow-cooker). Prop the lid slightly off the cooker to allow steam to escape.  Cook on low overnight. 

   

   In the morning, you'll wake up to something like this.
   The same thing applies if you ate Taco Bell.

*NOTE: If you have a food mill, you can do this a lot quicker. When I used a mill I simply quartered the apples and boiled them for about 10 minutes. I then loaded them in the mill and basically made applesauce. If you do it this way the directions will change. Just load the milled apples into the slow cooker and mix in the remaining ingredients. You will need to cut the amount of water you use by half if you do it this way. Don't cut the bourbon. NEVER CUT THE BOURBON.

If there is an easier way to do something, I will certainly use that method.
Good times!

Slow-Cooker Korean Barbecue Beef

     If you work in a school, you are regularly assaulted by students shilling overpriced stuff for fundraisers. I have the standing rule of buying one item from any given fundraiser. Just one. First kid who asks gets the sale. It will always be the single cheapest item in the catalog. It is usually one of those tiny, spiral-bound cook books. This particular cook book was the Crock-Pot Potluck For All Occasions cook book.  The recipe I decided to cook from it was Korean Barbecue Beef. I made a big change by using a roast instead of ribs and wound up putting the ingredients in the cooker in the wrong order. Regardless of my ineptitude, the resulting meal was very tasty and versatile. We originally served some up on rice, and have since made burritos and hoagies. As always, any changes or notes are in blue.

Korean Barbecue Beef
via Crock-Pot Potluck For All Occasions

Ingredients

• 4 to 4-1/2 pounds beef short ribs (we used a 3 pound beef roast)
• 1/4 cup chopped green onions
• 1/4 cup tamari or soy sauce (I'll be honest. I have no idea what the hell tamari sauce is without Googling it. I just used soy sauce)
• 1/4 cup beef broth or water (we went with water)
• 2 teaspoons minced fresh ginger (no fresh ginger on hand. We used 1 teaspoon ground ginger)
• 2 teaspoons minced garlic
• 1 tablespoon packed brown sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon black pepper
• 2 teaspoons dark sesame oil
• 2 teaspoons sesame seeds, toasted (put out sesame seeds to use and then promptly forgot to use them)

Directions

1. Place meat in slow cooker. Combine green onions, soy, broth, brown sugar, ginger garlic and pepper in medium bowl; pour over ribs (naturally I missed the part about combining in another bowl and just threw everything in on top of the meat. I just wound up stirring it all up in the slow cooker). Cover; cook on LOW for 7-8 hours or until meat is fork tender.
2. Remove meat from liquid. Cool slightly (that didn't happen). Trim excess fat and discard. Cut meat into bite sized pieces, discarding bones, if any.
3. Let cooking liquid stand 5 minutes to allow fat to rise. Skim off fat and discard (look, that's not going to happen. I'm eating now. After the leftovers have sat in the fridge overnight I can just pry the layer of fat off the top). Stir sesame oil into cooking liquid (WHOOPS! I put the oil in at the start. No harm, no foul). Sprinkle with sesame seeds (as mentioned, I totally forgot to use the seeds)

Good times!

Banana Chocolate Cake

     Well, I still haven't run out of baking recipes in the Taste of Home Everyday Light Meals cookbook.  We wound up picking this recipe because the local market was selling entire bunches of bananas for 49 cents. They were in moderately sad shape and usable mostly for cooking. We took the couple good ones and used them with blueberries in a honking big bowl of corn flakes for breakfast. But I digress. It just so happened we had everything in the house for this cake. We even had the powdered milk, which had been hiding in a cabinet for about five years.  No harm done. This particular cake was a big hit. It is really good heated up with a big dollop of ice cream on it. As always, and changes or notes will be in blue.

Banana Chocolate Cake
via Taste of Home Everyday Light Meals

Ingredients

• Sugar substitute equivalent to 3/4 cup sugar (DECIDE: Cancer or Diabetes? We went with diabetes and used 3/4 cup of real sugar)
• 1/3 cup packed brown sugar
• 1/3 cup butter, softened
• 2 eggs
• 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
• 2 medium ripe bananas, mashed
• 1/2 cup water
• 1-1/3 cups all-purpose flour
• 1/2 cup nonfat dry milk powder
• 3 tablespoons baking cocoa
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 3/4 teaspoon confectioner's sugar

Directions

1. In a large mixing bowl, beat the butter and sugar substitute (or actual sugar), brown sugar and butter on medium speed for 3 minutes (I wasn't aware I had actual speed settings other than "hurried" or "sedentary." I'm guessing the recipe assumes we have a mixer for this step, which fortunately I do.)
2. Add eggs and vanilla; mix well. Add bananas and water; mix well. 
3. In another bowl, combine flour, milk powder, cocoa, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Add to sugar mixture, beating just until blended.
4. Pour into a 9" square baking pan coated with nonstick cooking spray (as I am writing this I just realized I didn't do that. I used a bundt cake pan. I did so because there was a picture of a different chocolate cake from a bundt cake pan on the opposite page. Whatever, the cake came out fine), bake at 375F for 23-28 minutes (As always, ours took longer; closer to 40 minutes. Just use the original times and keep an eye on it. Cooking times will vary), until a toothpick inserted near the center comes out clean and the edges of the cake are just starting to pull away from the sides of the pan.
5. Cool on a wire rack. Dust with confectioner's sugar (fun trick for easy dusting: put the sugar into a fine mesh strainer. Hold the strainer about 6-8" above the cake and give the edge of the strainer a tap with a spoon. Just go over the whole cake doing this).

GENTLEMEN, BEHOLD,
Good times!

Maple Bacon Walnut Ice Cream

     Every now and then I have a stroke of sheer genius. A spark of inspiration so bright it is blinding. I run around the kitchen clapping my hands and generally looking pleased with myself. This was one of those times. I had made bacon for breakfast and ended up with some leftovers. Jokingly, I suggested making bacon ice cream. That's when it hit. Not just bacon ice cream. Bacon ice cream with toasted walnuts. And maple! There must be maple! But not just any maple. Maple Crown Royal! So I dragged out the ice cream maker and commandeered the basic vanilla ice cream recipe from the manual.
     The result? The maple flavor of the Crown Royal came through wonderfully. The walnuts and bacon gave a nice crunch. It was the perfect combination of sweet and savory.

Maple Bacon Walnut Ice Cream

Ingredients

• 2 eggs
• 1/2 cup sugar
• 1-1/2 cup whipping cream
• 1-1/2 cup milk
• 1 tablespoon vanilla syrup
• 4 strips crisp bacon crumbled into small pieces
• 2 tablespoons crushed, toasted walnuts
• 3 tablespoons butter
• 3 tablespoons brown sugar
• 2 tablespoons Maple Crown Royal

Directions

1. In a pan, melt butter. Add bacon, walnuts and brown sugar. Cook on medium heat until a thin caramel starts to form, stirring regularly. Set aside to cool.

   

   This is what you should have at this point

2. In a large bowl, beat eggs and sugar until light. Add whipping cream, milk, Crown Royal and vanilla. Combine thoroughly.
3. Add the bacon, walnut and caramel mixture to the large bowl, mix well.
4. Load into the ice cream maker of your choice and process as directed.

Good times!

Caramel Apple Walnut Bread

     Sunday was once again a baking day for me. This time, however, I went with a dessert bread. The original recipe was for a Caramel Apple Bread from Taste of Home Everyday Light Meals. I made a few changes and have to say that I was very pleased with the results. The wife loved it and it's been very well received over on my Facebook page. The bread was moist with a nice crust. What was neat was that the top of the loaf split while cooking, so when the time came to put on the caramel topping, some of it leaked down into the center of the bread.

You can see the caramel running right down the center. It's magical.

     There's a whole lot of changes you can make with this. I imagine you could swap in pears or other firm fruits. Just about any nut could be swapped in or left out if you don't like nuts. As always, I will give you the original recipe with any changes I made or notes in blue.

Caramel Apple Walnut Bread

Ingredients

Batter

• 1 cup fat-free plain yogurt
• 3/4 cup white sugar 
• 2 eggs
• 2 teaspoons vanilla extract
• 1/4 cup packed brown sugar (I misread the directions and added this in to the batter. It still came out delicious, so no harm, no foul. It's staying in. Now the recipe is mine! Muahahahahaha!)
• 2 cups all purpose flour
• 2 teaspoons baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1-1/2 cup chopped peeled tart apples
• 3/4 cup chopped pecans (I didn't have pecans in the house, and the wife wouldn't have let me put them in there even if we did. I used 1/2 cup chopped walnuts instead)

Caramel Glaze

• 1/4 cup packed brown sugar 
• 2 tablespoons butter
• 1 tablespoon fat-free milk (I used 2%. YOLO)

Directions

Batter

1. In a large mixing bowl, beat the yogurt, sugar, eggs and vanilla. 
2. Combine flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt; add to yogurt mixture and beat until combined (I totally didn't do it that way. I just threw everything into the yogurt mixture while the Kitchenaid was running. I figure it will all get combined eventually. Whoever said "focus on the journey and not the destination" has clearly never watched me cook.) 
3. Fold in apples and nuts
4. Pour into a 9"x5"x3" loaf pan coated with nonstick cooking spray. Bake at 350F for 45-55 minutes or until a toothpick inserted near the center comes out clean. (Mine took 105 minutes. One and three-quarter hours. There could be many reasons for this. Maybe my loaf pan was smaller than requested. Maybe my oven is off kilter. Maybe whoever originally wrote this recipe was drunk at the time. We'll never know. Just keep an eye on it after the suggested baking time. You'll know when it's finally done)
5. Cool for 10 minutes before removing from pan to a wire rack.

Caramel Glaze

1. In a small saucepan, bring the brown sugar, butter and milk to a boil, stirring constantly. Cover and cook for 1 minute (how can I possibly stir constantly if I just put the damned lid on? The lid's staying off. I'm not a magician.)
2. Cool slightly (this is needlessly vague. I'm thinking somebody at the publishing company needs a whack in the head. Let cool until it thickens up. It should still be viscous, but not runny. We're looking to be able to spread it with a spatula)
3. Spread over cooled bread. Let stand for 15 minutes.

Recipe Monday: Shoofly Pie

     I haven't really done much in the way of desserts and I apologize for that. We all love desserts. I have no recollection where I dug up the recipe. If it looks familiar, let me know and I'll give credit where credit is due. This particular dessert is really an acquired tasted. There is no middle ground here. You're going to love it or you're going to hate it. If you try it, let me know which it is.

Shoofly Pie. Tastes A LOT better than it looks.

Ingredients: 

• Pastry Shell 
• 1 ½ cup flour 
• ½ cup margarine 
• 1 cup packed brown sugar 
• 1 tsp. baking soda 
• 1 cup boiling water 
• ½ cup molasses 
• ½ cup honey

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 375F. 
2. Sift flower into a large bowl. 
3. Cut in margarine until pea sized. 
4. Stir in sugar. Set mixture aside. 
5. Dissolve baking soda in boiling water. Add molasses and honey. 
6. Pour mixture into pastry shell. 
7. Sprinkle flour mix over the top 
8. Bake at 375F for 10 minutes. 
9. Reduce to 350F and bake for another 25-30 minutes. 
10. Allow to cool before serving.