Slow Cooker Rice Pudding

     I've been cooking some pretty unsightly food of late. This particular recipe is no exception. Granted, rice pudding isn't much to look at even on a good day, so I've got that going for me. I have always been a huge fan of rice pudding, and once I made some changes, it was exactly how I remembered it as a kid. If you've got a rice cooker, this recipe is super easy. Cook the rice, mix in the other ingredients, and done. I'm pleased with the addition of sweetened condensed milk. I think without it, this would not have been sweet enough and we would have had vaguely coconut flavored mushy rice. As always, notes and changes are in blue.

Slow Cooker Rice Pudding
via Slow Cooker Magic in Minutes

Ingredients

• 2 cups water 
• 1 cup long grain rice
• 1 tablespoon unsalted butter
• pinch of salt
• (if you're using a rice cooker, you only need one cup of water and one cup of rice. You can omit the butter and salt)
• 18 ounces of evaporated milk (we only had 12 ounce cans, so we used one of those)
• 14 ounces cream of coconut (nope. We used a 14 ounce can of coconut milk instead)
• 1/2 can (7 ounces) sweetened condensed milk
• 1/2 cup golden raisins (you can also use regular old raisins. Nobody will notice or care)
• 3 egg yolks, beaten
• peel of 2 limes (omitted, we used 1 tablespoon of Rose's Lime Juice)
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• toasted shredded coconut (optional) 

Directions

1. Place water, rice, butter and salt in medium saucepan. Bring to rolling boil over high heat, stirring frequently. Reduce heat to low. Cover and cook 10 -12 minutes. Remove from heat. Cover and let stand five minutes.
   (I just pissed this step off entirely. I ignored the butter and salt and just threw 1 cup each of rice and water into my rice cooker and wandered off for 20 minutes)
2. Spray slow cooker with nonstick cooking spray. Add milk, coconut liquid of choice, raisins, egg yolks, lime and vanilla. Mix. Throw in the rice and mix it all together.
3. Cover and cook on LOW 4 hours. Stir every 30 minutes (it's not the end of the world if you can't. You just may get a couple crunchy spots at the bottom)

Good times!

Spiced Gatehouse Tea Bread

If you've never read any of the Redwall books by Brian Jacques, you're really missing out. I even devoted a whole blog post to his dedication to describing food. Go read his books; you won't regret it. Lately, we've been dabbling with a few of the recipes from an actual cookbook that he released some time ago. I mention it in the post linked earlier. Check that out, too. The first one we tried was a tea bread. This is a fantastic breakfast bread. Toasted and slathered in butter and/or honey, you've got a real treat. It also is a very good looking bread, just loaded with fruit. Make it and sit around pretending you're a mouse and it's like you're living the book! As always, notes and changes are in blue.

Spiced Gatehouse Tea Bread
via Brian Jacques The Redwall Cookbook

Ingredients

• 3 cups mixed dried fruit, preferably 1 cup each raisins, currants and golden raisins (no currants on hand so we went with dried cranberries instead)
• 1-1/2 cup hot brewed tea (we used pomegranate tea)
• 4 packed teaspoons brown sugar
• 1-1/2 cups whole wheat flour
• 1-1/4 cups all-purpose flour
• 2 tablespoons pumpkin pie spice or 2 teaspoons each cinnamon, ginger and nutmeg 
• 2 teaspoons baking powder
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 egg, beaten
• butter, for greasing pan

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 375F (190C, Gasmark 5). Butter an 8-cup, preferably nonstick loaf pan (I suspect the book may have a typo. I've never seen an 8 cup loaf pan. That's huge. I am thinking they meant 8 inch loaf pan, because that's what I used and it was the perfect size. Go me.)
2. Place the dried fruit in a large bowl, Pour the hot tea over the fruit, stir in the brown sugar, and let the mixture cool for 5 minutes.
3. In another bowl, whisk together the flours, spices, baking powder and salt. Stir the dry ingredients into the fruit mixture, then stir in the egg until well combined (I did the final mixing in the KitchenAid because I 'm lazy and didn't want to do it by hand)
4. Scrape the batter into the pan, level the surface and place it in the top third of the oven. Bake for about an hour, or until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean. 
5. Let the loaf cool in the pan for about 10 minutes, then turn out onto a wire rack.

Good times!

Hearty Slow Cooker Breakfast Sludge

     Before we go any further, let me make one thing very clear: this recipe looks like shit. Literally. It looks like something scraped out of a diaper. At second glance it also resembles fake vomit. Possibly real vomit. However, it smells wonderful and tastes great. On a cold day, you can't go wrong with a steaming bowl of this stuff. It's hearty and warm and filling. Maybe just close your eyes while you eat it.

Hearty Slow Cooker
Breakfast Sludge

Ingredients

• 3 cups oats, uncooked
• 1/4 cup powdered sugar
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 3 very ripe bananas, sliced
• 1/4 cup raisins
• 1/4 cup peanut butter (chunky or creamy as you desire. We used creamy)
• 21 ounce can banana cream pie filling
• 6 cups water
• 1 teaspoon almond extract

Directions

1. Coat a slow cooker (at least 2 quart) with nonstick cooking spray (coat the inside of the slow cooker. The bowl specifically. Don't spray all over the outside. Unless you want to)
2. Chuck all the ingredients in there and stir it up.
3. Cover and cook on LOW for 6-8 hours (just stop cooking when it's at a consistency you like. Make sure to stir it every few hours to make sure it doesn't fuse to the pot).

Good times!

Loaded Oatmeal Cookies

     Sometimes you find recipes in odd places. This particular recipe came by way of a book I found at a garage sale last fall. When I dropped fifty cents on Southern Recipes and Legends, I didn't expect to find any real gems. Mostly I thought the legends would be fun to read. Once you get past the shaky editing, you start to find some recipes that are genuine winners. A particularly good one was for Bonnie Doone Plantation Thanksgiving Cookies. That's a hell of a mouthful to say. The cookies are also a hell of a mouthful. They are packed with all sorts of goodies. There's chocolate, oats, cranberries, raisins, walnuts (if you want them). I wound up renaming them Loaded Oatmeal Cookies. They are super easy to make and the recipe yields over 3 dozen cookies. As always, any notes and changes are in blue.

Loaded Oatmeal Cookies
aka Bonnie Doone Plantation Thanksgiving Cookies
via Southern Recipes and Legends by Nancy Rhyne

Ingredients

• 2 cups all-purpose flour
• 3/4 cup granulated sugar
• 3/4 cup brown sugar
• 1 teaspoon baking powder
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1 egg
• 2-1/2 cups rolled oats
• 1 cup raisins
• 2 cups cranberries, pitted and mashed slightly (we substituted 1 cup of craisins)
• 1 cup chocolate chips
• 1 cup melted butter
• 1 cup chopped walnuts (omitted)

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 375F (190F, Gasmark 5)
2. Combine all ingredients (I certainly hope you have a Kitchenaid or something similar, because this batter will be stiff. Mixing it by hand is going to be a chore). 
3. Drop by teaspoon (I assure you, you don't want to do this. Go by tablespoons. You'll still end up with 40 or so cookies) onto a greased cookie sheet. 
4. Bake for 10-12 minutes (this is pretty accurate. Do not go by the consistency of the tops of the cookies; they will be very soft right out of the oven. Lift one up and check the bottom. If it's golden brown, it's done. The cookie will set up once it cools off).

Good times!

Vinegar Braised Chicken and Onions

    Cooking in a Dutch oven is awesome. It feels like high-end slow cooking. It also makes wonderful meals. You may remember me raving about the Baked Daube Provencal I made last year. Maybe you didn't. OK, it's more than likely you didn't. Go read the post now, I'll wait. Back? All right. Anyways, I found this recipe in an issue of Bon Appetit. Naturally, I had to make some changes to compensate for lack of requested ingredients. I figure onions are onions and I can't be bothered to make a special trip to the store. I was a bit leery of this recipe. A bunch of vinegar and raisins added in there didn't sound like a great idea, but it worked. We served it up with an Oven Gratin of Potatoes. I'd definitely make this one again. As always, any notes or changes are in blue.

Vinegar Braised Chicken and Onions
via Bon Appetit

Ingredients

• 2 pounds cipolline or pearl onions (Didn't have either of these. I used two pounds of yellow and red onions)
• Kosher salt
• 3 tablespoons olive oil
• 8 ounces pancetta (Italian bacon), cut into 1/4-inch pieces (Nope. I used regular bacon.)
• 4 garlic cloves, peeled, crushed
• 5 pounds skin-on bone-in chicken pieces (breasts, thighs, and/or legs; breasts halved crosswise)
• Freshly ground black pepper
• 3/4 cup balsamic vinegar
• 3/4 cup red wine vinegar
• 2 cups low-sodium chicken broth
• 1/2 cup golden raisins
• 2 bay leaves

Directions

1. Cook onions in a large pot of boiling salted water until tender, 5-8 minutes. Drain and let cool. Trim root ends; peel (I totally ignored most of this step. I just peeled and sliced the onions and moved on).
2. Meanwhile, heat oil in a large heavy pot over medium heat. Add pancetta to pot and cook, stirring occasionally, until fat is rendered and pancetta is brown, 8-10 minutes. Using a slotted spoon, transfer pancetta to a large bowl.
3. Add onions to same pot and cook, stirring occasionally, until beginning to brown, 8-10 minutes. Add garlic and cook, stirring often, until fragrant, about 3 minutes. Transfer onions and garlic to bowl with pancetta.
4. Season chicken with salt and pepper. Working in batches, add chicken to pot skin side down and cook, turning, until browned on all sides, 10-15 minutes per batch; transfer to bowl with onions.
5. Carefully drain fat from pot and return to medium-high heat. Add both vinegars to pot and bring to a boil, stirring and scraping up any browned bits from bottom of pot. Add broth, raisins, bay leaves, and reserved chicken, pancetta, onions, and garlic to pot. Bring to a boil, reduce heat, and simmer, partially covered, until chicken is fork-tender, 35-40 minutes.
6. Using a slotted spoon, transfer chicken and onions to a large platter. Skim fat from cooking liquid and discard. Remove bay leaves (remember what my mom taught us: bay leaves left in a dish will lead to a choking death every time), and season sauce with salt and pepper. Spoon sauce over chicken and onions.

Good times!

Bourbon Fruit Cake

     Can any holiday dessert be more recognizable than the ubiquitous fruitcake? No, of course not. That was a rhetorical question. Ubiquitous means you'll find it everywhere. That was a quiz. Did you pass? I hope so, because this is going to be on the final exam. This particular recipe was adapted from a recipe for Kentucky Bourbon Cake I found on About.com's Southern Food section around five years ago. In all fairness, this is not a true fruitcake as we know it. It is not the consistency of blacktop. It is not cloyingly sweet with terrifying unidentifiable bits of detritus suspended within. The original recipe did call for candied cherries and nuts, but I quickly put an end to that nonsense. I want cake. I don't want to be losing fillings and digging things out of my molars all night. This recipe does have a lot going for it. This cake is actually fluffy. It cooks well in any number of different shapes. It's good with icing. It will, however, make your Kitchenaid howl like a damned soul while mixing it. This recipe will fill a 5 quart mixing bowl frighteningly close to the top. It's worth it. When I tell somebody I'm serving fruitcake, they flinch. Then they eat it. Complaints cease. As always, any notes and changes are in blue.

Bourbon Fruit Cake
via About.com 

Ingredients

• 8 ounces red candied cherries, halved (I omitted all the candied cherries and used a jar of drained maraschino cherries)
• 8 ounces green candied cherries, halved (omitted)
• 8 ounces seedless raisins or chopped dates (I'm married so I shouldn't have dates. I used golden raisins)
• 2 cups bourbon (I went with Jim Beam)
• 1 1/2 cups (3 sticks) butter, room temperature
• 2 cups granulated sugar
• 1 cup firmly packed light brown sugar
• 6 large eggs, separated
• 5 cups all-purpose flour
• 2 cups chopped pecans (omitted)
• 2 teaspoons ground nutmeg
• 1 teaspoon baking powder

Directions

1. In a medium bowl, combine the cherries, raisins, and bourbon; cover and let soak overnight. 
2. Preheat the oven to 275°F.
3. In a large bowl, cream the butter and sugars with an electric mixer until light and fluffy; add the egg yolks and beat well. Stir in the soaked fruit with bourbon. In a small bowl, combine 1/2 cup of the flour with the pecans; set aside. Add the remaining flour, nutmeg, and baking powder to the creamed mixture and blend well. In a bowl, beat the egg whites with an electric mixer until stiff peaks form; gently fold into the cake batter. Sprinkle the floured pecans over batter and fold in gently.
4. Grease and flour a 10-inch tube pan and line the bottom with greased waxed paper. (I have made this recipe several times and have never used a tube pan or waxed paper. I've used loaf pans, cake pans, bundt pans). Pour the batter into the pan; bake at 275° for 3 to 3 1/2 hours, or until a wooden pick or cake tester inserted in center comes out clean (this does, in fact, take every bit of 3-1/2 hours if you're using a large pan). 
5. Cool the cake. Turn cake out of the pan, peel off waxed paper (which I did not use), and store in a tightly covered container for several days (this recipe makes me think that you're not supposed to eat the cake. Just store it for several days and then shitcan it. Look, if this lasts more than seven days in your house, you must have cooked it wrong. It's awesome).

Good times!

Kugel (Noodle Pudding)

     There are certain things that I always associate with my childhood. Hot Wheels. Saturday morning cartoons. Getting hit in the face with a ball because you've played outside until it's too damned dark to see anymore. If there's a food I connect with my childhood, it's kugel. If you're from a Jewish family, you know what a kugel is. If not, I'll explain. It's basically a baked noodle pudding. They can be sweet or savory, depending on the ingredients. This particular recipe is from my grandmother on my father's side, and is most certainly of the sweet variety. When I was little, she would make kugel most times I came to visit. To this day, it's one of my favorite recipes. It's pretty versatile. I've served at a side, a dessert and occasionally for breakfast. You can serve it hot or cold. As always, notes are in blue.

Kugel

Ingredients

• 1 lb wide egg noodles
• 1 lb small-curd cottage cheese
• 3 medium eggs
• 1/2 cup butter (1 stick), cut into small pieces
• 3 tablespoons confectioner's sugar (no clue as to why my grandmother used confectioner's sugar. I guess it incorporates easier. There's really nothing stopping you from using regular white sugar. Now that I think of it, brown sugar might be pretty good in this)
• 1 can (20 ounces) crushed pineapple, drained (I save the juice in a container in the fridge. It comes in handy for cocktails later!)
• 6 ounces golden raisins
• 1-2 teaspoons cinnamon (I generally just eyeball measure the cinnamon, so that's why there is some range on the measurement. Use more or less depending on how much you like cinnamon)
• Corn Flakes/Frosted Flakes (If you like sweet, give Frosted Flakes a try. I've done it before and it was pretty good. Or you could go crazy and toss a layer of Cinnamon Toast Crunch over the top!)

Directions

1. Cook noodles to just shy of done. 
2. Mix all ingredients except corn flakes in a large bowl.
3. Spread into a greased baking dish (around 15"x10"x2")
4. Cook at 375F until top gets crispy (about 30 minutes, give or take). Sprinkle corn flakes over top and bake an additional 5 minutes.

Good Times!

Raisin Pumpkin Walnut Bread

     As always, last Sunday was all about baking. As I am nothing, if not predictable, I pinched another recipe from Taste of Home Everyday Light Meals. This bread could not be more simple to prepare. I did think the recipe seemed to be missing something so I took it upon myself to chuck some raisins in there. In the end, we ended up with a nice rich bread that is suitable for dessert! It's also good in the morning with a schmear of cream cheese. As always, any changes or notes will be in blue.

Raisin Pumpkin Walnut Bread
via Taste of Home Everyday Light Meals

Ingredients

• 1 cup whole wheat flour
• 1 cup sugar
• 2/3 cup all-purpose flour
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1/2 teaspoon baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 teaspoon ground cloves
• 1 cup canned pumpkin
• 1/2 cup egg substitute (we substituted 2 large eggs)
• 1/3 cup water
• 1/4 cup canola oil (we used corn oil)
• 1/2 cup chopped walnuts
• 1/2 cup raisins

Directions

1. In a bowl, combine the first eight ingredients. 
2. In another bowl, combine the pumpkin, egg substitute (or 2 large eggs), water and oil. Mix well. Stir into dry ingredients just until moistened. Fold in walnuts. (I'll be honest here. I just loaded the first 8 ingredients into the Kitchenaid mixer bowl and gave them a quick stir. Then I just dumped everything else in and used the beater blade at power level 2 until it was all mixed up. I live on the edge.)
3. Spoon into a 9x5x3" baking dish coated with non-stick cooking spray. Bake at 350F for 60-65 minutes or until a toothpick inserted near the center comes out clean (ours took 65 minutes on the button). Cool for 15 minutes before removing from pan to a wire rack.

Good times!

Raisin Breakfast Pretzels

     Eventually the cover is going to fall off my Taste of Home: Everyday Light Meals cookbook. I just can't get enough of the great baking recipes in here. I've been eyeballing a Cranberry Breakfast Pretzel recipe for some time, but had been skipping it because it was a bit labor intensive. I'm glad I finally made it. These are a great quick breakfast, clocking in at only 170 calories a piece. The wife and I were in the process of spreading some cream cheese on these when we realized that this recipe would also make a decent bagel! I think we may do that next time. As always, I'll give you the original recipe with any changes or notes in blue.

Raisin Pretzels
originally Cranberry Breakfast Pretzels
via Taste of Home Everyday Light Meals

Ingredients

• 3/4 cup dried cranberries (I used an equal amount of raisins. You could probably substitute just about any dried fruit you'd like)
• 1/2 cup unsweetened apple sauce (I used an equal amount of my highly sweetened Bourbon Apple Butter)
• 2 tablespoons of sugar, divided
• 1 package (.25 ounce) active dry yeast
• 1 cup warm milk (110-115F)
• 1-1/2 teaspoon salt
• 3-1/2 to 4 cups all purpose flour 
• 2 quarts water

Topping:

• 1 egg white, beaten
• 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1 tablespoon sugar

Directions

1. In a food processor or blender, place the dried cranberries (raisins), applesauce (apple butter), and 1 tablespoon sugar; cover and process until finely chopped (I just went berserk and let it go until it was a paste.) Set aside.
2. In a mixing bowl, dissolve the yeast in warm milk. Add remaining sugar; let stand for 5 minutes.
3. Add the fruit mixture, oil, salt and enough flour to form a soft dough (I used the full 4 cups. The dough is still a bit sticky)Turn out onto a lightly floured surface; knead until smooth and elastic, about 6-8 minutes (being lazy, I used the Kitchenaid with the dough hook for 7 minutes). Place in a bowl coated with nonstick cooking spray, turning once to coat the top. Cover and let rise in a warm place until doubled, about 90 minutes.
4. Punch dough down. Turn onto a floured surface. Divide dough into 15 balls. Roll each ball into a 14" rope and form into a pretzel shape. (A great video showing the process can be found on YouTube from Pastry Chef Online, please note how her pretzels actually look like pretzels whereas mine are more "reminiscent" of pretzels.)
5. In a large saucepan, bring water to a boil. Drop pretzels, one at a time, into water; boil for 10 seconds on each side. Remove with a slotted spoon; drain on paper towels.
6. Place pretzels on baking sheets coated with nonstick cooking spray. Cover and let rise in a warm place until puffy, about 25 minutes. 
7. Brush pretzels with egg white. Combine sugar and cinnamon; sprinkle over tops of pretzels. Bake at 375F for 12-14 minutes or until golden brown (mine took 20 minutes. Cooking times may vary)
8. Serve with honey or cream cheese if desired

Good times!

Golden Raisin Cranberry Whole Wheat Bread

     If you've been following this blog for any time at all, you know I like to make changes to existing recipes. Sunday was no exception. Sundays have pretty much become my baking day. I like to make a bread for us to eat on during the week. Why? The wife LOVES fresh bread. Any kind of fresh bread will do. Sunday I let her pick out what bread I was going to make. She sifted through the cookbooks and pointed out the Nutty Whole Wheat Bread recipe in Taste of Home Everyday Light Meals. There are just a ton of great bread recipes in there; I suggest you get a copy if at all possible.
     Anyways, the wife points out this recipe, then tells me she'd prefer it without the walnuts because she's not a fan of nutty bread. This was not a problem, as we did not have any walnuts in the house. We did, however, have golden raisins and dried cranberries. It worked out better than we could have imagined. The bread was sweet and soft inside, with a wonderful crust. This legitimately looked like something you would buy at a bakery! I will provide the original recipe with, as always, my notes and substitutions printed in blue.

Golden Raisin Cranberry Whole Wheat Bread
(originally Nutty Whole Wheat Bread)

Ingredients

• 2-1/4 cups all-purpose flour
• 1-1/4 cups whole wheat flour
• 3/4 cup finely chopped walnuts (I omitted the walnuts and substituted in 1/2 cup each of golden raisins and dried cranberries. I imagine just about any dried fruit could work here. If you try a different one, let me know how it works out)
• 1 package (1/4 ounce) quick-rise yeast
• 2 tablespoons brown sugar
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 cup water
• 1/3 cup reduced-fat plain yogurt (we went with the plain, but the more I think about it, vanilla might have been really good in here)
• 2 tablespoons butter (we used margarine)

Directions

1. In a mixing bowl, combine 1 cup all-purpose flour, whole wheat flour, walnuts (or dried fruit), brown sugar, yeast and salt. Stir to combine ingredients.
2. In a saucepan, head the water, yogurt and butter to about 120-130F. Add to dry ingredients, beat until smooth (I used the Kitchenaid with a beater attachment). Stir in enough remaining flour to form a soft dough (I ended up using exactly the amount of flour called for in the recipe). Turn out onto floured surface, knead until smooth and elastic, about 4 minutes (I just left the dough in the mixer bowl and swapped in the dough hook to do the work).
3. Take dough and shape into a ball; place on a baking sheet coated with nonstick cooking spray. Cover and let rest in a warm place for 20 minutes. Preheat oven to 400F. 
4. Bake at 400F for 25-30 minutes or until golden brown (mine took 25 minutes to finish. Cooking times may vary a bit). Remove from pan to cool on a wire rack.

See? I told you it looks like it came from a bakery!
Sometimes I feel like I almost know what I'm doing!

Good times!