Orange Whip Pie

     I think everybody has a few boxes of Jell-O that have been sitting in their cabinet for untold years. In my case, it was orange flavored. I don't even like orange Jell-O. I don't know how it got there. Fortunately, I found a recipe that used it! This recipe is phenomenally easy and quite tasty. I've made a few modifications, the most notable is the use of a pie crust in the pie mix. This is because I'm cack-handed and managed to bust the first crust while loading it with filling. I just dumped everything back in the bowl and crushed up the crust in it. I feel it added a nice bit of texture to the filling! I also give the option of adding some booze to make it more true to the beverage for which it's named. If you're interested here's a bonus recipe:

Orange Whip
- 4 ounces orange juice

- 1 ounce rum

- 1 ounce vodka

- 2 ounces cream

Blend with immersion blender until thick and frothy. Serve over ice in a Collins glass

     This recipe is also flexible if you don't like orange. You could easily leave out all the orange stuff and swap in cherry Jell-O and maybe use a bit of vanilla extract. Anyways, I served it and it was a hit with all three people (The Wife, The Mother-in-Law and The Spud) who tried it. As always, notes and changes are in blue.

Orange Whip Pie
adapted from Velvety Orange Gelatin Pie (which is a terrible name)
via Taste of Home Everyday Light Meals

Ingredients

• 1 package (.3 ounce orange gelatin)
• 1/2 cup boiling water
• 1 can (14 ounces) sweetened condensed milk
• 1 cup lo-fat sour cream
• 3 tablespoons fresh grated orange peel (too lazy to grate oranges. I used 2 teaspoons dried orange peel)
• 1 8-ounce carton whipped topping (you know, Cool-Whip)
• 1/4 teaspoon orange extract
• 1 nine inch graham cracker pie crust (just go and buy one. They're like a dollar)
• another 9" pie crust, or 6-8 decent sized graham crackers, crushed. 
• If you're feeling adventurous and want the true Orange Whip experience:
  1 ounce vodka
  1 ounce rum
  If you use booze, use a little less water

Directions

1. In a large bowl, dissolve gelatin in boiling water. 
2. Stir in milk, sour cream, orange peel (and the booze if you're using it)
3. Fold in whipped topping (and the crushed graham cracker if you're doing it my way. The Right way)
4. Spoon into crust. Cover and refrigerate for at least 4 hours.

Good Times!

Slow Cooker Rice Pudding

     I've been cooking some pretty unsightly food of late. This particular recipe is no exception. Granted, rice pudding isn't much to look at even on a good day, so I've got that going for me. I have always been a huge fan of rice pudding, and once I made some changes, it was exactly how I remembered it as a kid. If you've got a rice cooker, this recipe is super easy. Cook the rice, mix in the other ingredients, and done. I'm pleased with the addition of sweetened condensed milk. I think without it, this would not have been sweet enough and we would have had vaguely coconut flavored mushy rice. As always, notes and changes are in blue.

Slow Cooker Rice Pudding
via Slow Cooker Magic in Minutes

Ingredients

• 2 cups water 
• 1 cup long grain rice
• 1 tablespoon unsalted butter
• pinch of salt
• (if you're using a rice cooker, you only need one cup of water and one cup of rice. You can omit the butter and salt)
• 18 ounces of evaporated milk (we only had 12 ounce cans, so we used one of those)
• 14 ounces cream of coconut (nope. We used a 14 ounce can of coconut milk instead)
• 1/2 can (7 ounces) sweetened condensed milk
• 1/2 cup golden raisins (you can also use regular old raisins. Nobody will notice or care)
• 3 egg yolks, beaten
• peel of 2 limes (omitted, we used 1 tablespoon of Rose's Lime Juice)
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• toasted shredded coconut (optional) 

Directions

1. Place water, rice, butter and salt in medium saucepan. Bring to rolling boil over high heat, stirring frequently. Reduce heat to low. Cover and cook 10 -12 minutes. Remove from heat. Cover and let stand five minutes.
   (I just pissed this step off entirely. I ignored the butter and salt and just threw 1 cup each of rice and water into my rice cooker and wandered off for 20 minutes)
2. Spray slow cooker with nonstick cooking spray. Add milk, coconut liquid of choice, raisins, egg yolks, lime and vanilla. Mix. Throw in the rice and mix it all together.
3. Cover and cook on LOW 4 hours. Stir every 30 minutes (it's not the end of the world if you can't. You just may get a couple crunchy spots at the bottom)

Good times!

Slow Cooker Apples in Bourbon Custard

    Holy Shit. I'm not one to normally go nuts about something that came out of a slow cooker, but I can say without fear of contradiction that this is the best thing outside of my chili to ever come out of a slow cooker. I just threw this together completely on a goof and magic happened. Seriously, once you have this, you'll forsake all other slow cooker desserts. We're talking eyes in the back of the head, open mouth groaning kind of good. Unless you don't like apples. Then you're shit out of luck. As always, notes are in blue.

Slow Cooker Apples in Bourbon Custard

Ingredients

• 6 small-medium apples, spiral cut and cored (you'll need one of those apple corer/peeler/slicer things or you're in for more work than you want)

  

  This thing. You can find them on Amazon for under $20, or at Pampered Chef for $1,200.

• 1/2 cup chopped nuts (we used pecans, but I imagine walnuts or cashews would be delightful)
• 1/2 cup sultanas (that's fancy-talk for gold raisins)
• 1 14-ounce can of sweetened condensed milk
• 1/4 cup Benchmark Brown Sugar Liquor (if you don't want the booze, just use an equal amount of brown sugar. If you can't find Benchmark, you can mix about 2 tablespoons brown sugar with 1/4 cup bourbon for roughly the same effect)
• 1/8 cup honey
• 1 teaspoon cinnamon

Directions

1. If you haven't already done so, run your apples through that apple corer/peeler/slicer thing. Do your best to get the apple off the spindle whole. You will be scored on artistic merit.
2. Spray a slow cooker with non-stick cooking spray. Place the apples in a single layer on the bottom (we were able to barely fit 6 apples in a 2.5 quart cooker)
3. Mix the chopped nuts and raisins. Fill the middle of each apple where you removed the core. 
4. In a medium bowl (you can use a large bowl if you'd like. I wouldn't recommend using a small bowl unless you like making a mess), mix sweetened condensed milk, honey, bourbon and cinnamon. Pour mixture evenly over the apples. 
5. Cook on LOW for 3 hours or until apples start to get tender and liquid takes on a custard-like consistency. 

Good times!