Bootleg Cheddar Bay Biscuits

     Red Lobster is one of those restaurants I like despite the fact I should know better. You just can't say no to unlimited shrimp or crab legs. One of my fondest memories is going to Red Lobster with The Wife and watching her eat crab legs. She would just bend the legs until BANG! Crab meat on the table. Crab meat on the wall. Crab meat in her hair. Crab meat on my glasses.

It was similar to this, but with crab meat.

Truly, it was inspiring. Naturally, any trip to Red Lobster would be punctuated by cramming as many Cheddar Bay Biscuits into our bodies as was possible. Then we'd ask for a bunch extra and a to-go box. If we didn't leave with a dozen biscuits, we weren't trying hard enough. Eventually, I figured I should just figure out how to make them myself and save the trip and inevitable hammersmash of crab meat. I searched the interwebs and found a couple recipes (the main biscuit recipe and a Biscuit knockoff) that I combined and modified into what we feel is a damned close approximation of the Cheddar Bay Biscuit. Don't eat these right away. Give them about an hour for the butter to settle in. Then pop one in the microwave one for about 30 seconds and tell me it's not the real deal. As always, changes and notes are in blue.

Bootleg Cheddar Bay Biscuits

 Ingredients

• 3 cups all-purpose flour
• 1-1/2 tablespoons baking powder
• 1/2 tablespoon salt
• 1/2 cup solid bacon grease (every home-made Biscuit recipe I saw said to use shortening. I used bacon grease because I felt it would add a nice flavor. Also, it's all I had on hand. I'm not making a special trip for shortening) 
• 3/4 cup milk
• 4 tablespoons butter
• 1 teaspoon garlic powder
• 1 heaping cup grated cheddar cheese

For Brushing on Top

• 2 tablespoons melted butter
• 1/4 teaspoon dried parsley
• 1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
• pinch of salt

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 400F (200C, Gasmark 6)
2. Mix flour, baking powder and salt in large bowl (generally you are instructed to sift these items into the bowl, to which I say, "bite me.")
3. Cut in bacon grease until mixture starts to make large crumbs.
4. Add milk, cheese, 1 teaspoon garlic powder. Mix until combined (I used the Kitchenaid for a few seconds. Don't overdo the mixing, though)
5. Drop 1/4 cup portions (I just used an ice cream scoop) of the dough onto an ungreased cookie sheet. Bake 15-17 minutes or until tops of the biscuits turn light brown.
6. In a small bowl, mix the melted butter, parsley, 1/2 teaspoon garlic powder and salt.  When the biscuits come out of the oven, brush the butter mixture over the tops (use it all. To not use all this mixture would be a mortal sin).

Good times!

Bacon Swiss Mini Tarts

     I keep expecting the whole bacon craze to play out, but it is still going strong. People will eat just about anything these days if it incorporates bacon. I'm fairly sure I could serve up cat turds wrapped in bacon and somebody would eat them. What I'm getting at is that there's no shortage of bacon recipes. The wife bought me a book of 101 bacon related recipes for my birthday. I only just got around to trying one out. This particular snacketizer was pretty good. However, I think there was far too much mayo going on here. It managed to overpower most of the other flavors, which is a bit gross. I think a swap out with a bit of cream cheese would be the fix. As always, notes and comments are in blue.

Bacon Swiss Mini Tart
via: 101 Things To Do With Bacon

Ingredients

• 8 strips bacon, cooked and crumbled
• 1 tomato, chopped
• 1/4 cup finely minced onion
• 3/4 cup grated Swiss cheese
• 1/2 cup mayonnaise (I'm going to tell you again that this is WAY too much mayo. I'd cut it back to 1/4 cup mayo and add 1/4 cup cream cheese)
• 1 tablespoon chopped fresh basil (I used a teaspoon of dried)
• 1 can (16 ounces) refrigerated flaky buttermilk biscuits (I don't think mine were "flaky." They may have just been regular old biscuits)
• 1-2 teaspoons hot sauce of your choice

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 375F degrees and grease a mini muffin pan (this marks the very first time I have used the mini muffin pan. To this point it has sat sullenly in the back of the cabinet)
2. In a bowl, combine bacon, tomato, onion cheese, mayo and basil (Wouldn't it have been easier to say "combine everything except the biscuits?" Why do people needlessly complicate things? This is why I can't leave the house without sedating myself first)
3. Separate biscuits horizontally (I'm not laying on the ground to separate biscuits. I just stood right at the counter and did it) and press halves into mini muffin pan. Fill each biscuit half with some of the bacon mixture. 
4. Bake for 10-12 minutes or until golden brown (we went about 15-18 minutes)

Good Times!

Sausage and Kale Biscuit Pie

     It's always fun when I decide to freestyle in the kitchen. It's also generally messy, but the end results are worth the destruction. The whole inspiration for this recipe came from a tube of butter-flavored biscuits that was sitting in the fridge. We tend to leave them in there until they explode, so I figured maybe I should use it. I also had a surplus of Polish sausages in the freezer, so I decided those were going in, as well. From that point I decided I was going to make a quasi pot-pie. The addition of malt vinegar was a last minute decision and one the wife and I were very pleased with. I undercooked the potatoes a bit by mistake, so in the recipe I suggest par-boiling them. If you're looking for a tasty mid-week filler meal, this might be for you! As always, any notes are in blue.

Sausage and Kale Biscuit Pie

Ingredients

• 1 16-ounce tube butter flavored biscuits
• 1 package (13-16 ounces) of Polish kielbasa, sliced
• 1 medium onion, chopped
• 3 small red potatoes, cubed
• 1 large carrot, chopped
• 1 rib celery, chopped
• 4 cups kale, leaves only, chopped
• 1 teaspoon dried oregano
• 1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
• 1 can cream of mushroom soup
• 1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese
• 1 cup shredded cheddar cheese
• Black pepper to taste
• Malt vinegar to taste

Directions

1. Par-boil potatoes, about 10 minutes.
2. Get a great big pot and sautee all the vegetables for about 10-15 minutes. (You're basically making sure the potatoes get cooked enough so they're not crunchy when you go to serve them).
3. Add the kielbasa, oregano, black pepper, and Worcestershire sauce. Pour in the cream of mushroom soup and stir everything so the soup is coating all the ingredients evenly. 

   

   You should be looking at something similar in your pot at this point.

4. Pour the bowl into a lightly greased baking dish. Sprinkle a few dashes of malt vinegar over the top of everything. Take the biscuits from the tube and lay them out in a single layer.  Bake at 350F for about 12-15 minutes or until the biscuits are golden brown (the underside of the biscuits may be a bit squishy. There's not much you can do about this.) Sprinkle the cheese over the top and bake another 3-5 minutes or until the cheese has melted.

Good times!