Feta and Spinach Stuffed Chicken Breasts

     Can you really go wrong with the combination of feta and spinach? No, you can't. Don't even try to argue with me because I won't listen. It's a great combo and if you don't like it you are obviously defective. Basically, what I've done is make my version of a fairly ubiquitous recipe. I'm sure there are hundreds of similar recipes floating around the internet. Do you know what separates mine from theirs? Theirs suck. Theirs are not made with love. It is entirely possible that theirs were made by Baby-Eating Fascists. Use my recipe and strike a blow for global peace and understanding. If you're not part of the solution, you're obviously part of the problem. I'll stop now. The recipe is simple and delicious and I promise you'll love it. Unless you don't. And then it's your own fault for listening to me. As always, notes are in blue.

Feta and Spinach
Stuffed Chicken Breasts

Ingredients

• 4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts
• 3 ounces crumbled feta cheese
• 4 ounces room temperature cream cheese (we use Neufchatel)
• 10 ounces frozen spinach, defrosted and all water squeezed out
• 1 cup bread crumbs
• 1-1/2 teaspoons Spice House Greek Town seasoning, divided (if you can't get this spice, a mix of salt, pepper, onion powder, oregano and lemon peel. I have no idea what ratios you'd use, so good luck. Or just order the seasoning)
• 1/2 cup flour
• 1 egg, beaten

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 375F (190C, Gasmark 5).
2. Split the chicken breasts down the length, being careful to not cut completely into two pieces. You're looking to sort of butterfly the chicken.
3. Mix 1 teaspoon of the spice mix in with the flour. 
4. Dredge the chicken in first in the flour mix, then the egg, then finally the bread crumbs.Set on a baking sheet. 
5. In a small bowl, combine cream cheese, spinach, feta and remaining spice mix. Mix well until all ingredients are incorporated. 

   

   You could just take what you have here,
   add some jarred artichokes and you have a hell of an appetizer dip!

6. Fill each piece of chicken with 1/3 cup of the filling.
7. Bake for 35 minutes or until chicken juices run clear.

   

   See? Clear. We're all making it out of this meal alive.

   

   Good Times!

Three Mustard Pepper Relish

     The weather this summer has absolutely sucked. It started off cold and raining for weeks. Then it was hot and raining. Then it was hot and humid. Weeds are rampant, Bugs are rampant. All our cucumbers died. The tomatoes are running late. Our peppers, however, are growing out of control. Once again I am inundated with banana peppers. I could always do my Sriracha Stuffed Banana Peppers but I'm pretty sure I still haven't eaten the ones I froze last season. I perused the interwebz and found a likely recipe at BetterRecipes. I liked the idea, but it used only yellow mustard. That's a pretty commanding flavor profile here. I like yellow mustard, but not enough to risk that much. I decided on a mix of three different types instead. The result was absolute dynamite. This would be great on a brat, Polish sausage, pork, chicken, just about anything. The Wife even put it on her eggs. My only complaint is it probably could use more peppers. You could probably add another half dozen peppers easy. If you like mustard, give it a try and see what you think. As always, notes and changes are in blue.

Three Mustard Pepper Relish

Ingredients

• 3 dozen banana peppers
• 3 cups white vinegar
• 1/2 cup yellow mustard 
• 1/2 cup spicy brown mustard
• 1/2 cup Kentucky's Smokin' Grill Grand Spiced Honey Mustard (this really brings this recipe together. You could probably find another spicy honey mustard, but it's not going to be the same. This stuff is the bomb-diggety)
• 3 cups white sugar
• 3/4 cups water
• 3/4 cups flour
• 1 tablespoon dried minced onion
• 1 heaping teaspoon garlic powder
• 1 heaping teaspoon onion powder

Directions

1. Cut the stems off the peppers and discard (the stems, not the peppers) Finely chop the peppers into tiny little pieces. If you have a food processor, pulse the peppers in small batches. You're looking for pieces less than 1/8". 
2. Put the peppers, water and vinegar in a nonreactive pot. Bring to a boil. Reduce to simmer and let simmer for about 10 minutes.
3. Add sugar and stir until sugar is completely dissolved. 
4. Add remaining ingredients and turn the heat down a bit. You don't want the flour to overthicken (is that even a word? It is now. SCREW YOU, SPELLCHECK). Stir everything for a few minutes to make sure the flour is incorporated. If you have a whisk, use it.
5. If you are terrified of canning, stop here. You now have a quart  of relish that's only going to last about a month in the fridge. 
6. If you like canning, this will yield about 8 half pint jars. Seal them with a two-part lid. Process them in a boiling water canner for 12 minutes. If you decide on pint jars, process for 15 minutes. As always, double check with the National Center for Home Food Preservation for tips on how to not accidentally poison your loved ones.

Good times!

Stuffed Cabbage Soup

     I love my close, personal friend, Rachael Ray to death. However, her cutesy language has got to stop. Like this particular recipe. She calls it a stoup. Stoup? What sort of shit is that? Is it soup or stew? It's really thick soup? Then it's a damned stew. Get over it. Just stop this sort of nonsense. Look, it's a bowl full of cabbage and beef. When you're sitting on the toilet howling in despair, you're not going to be coming up with cutesy names for what's going on in that bowl. No stoups there, my friend. With that out of the way, I'm calling this soup. It's a good, hearty soup. You will enjoy it. That is an order. As always, notes and changes are in blue. 

Stuffed Cabbage Soup
via Rachael Ray 2,4,6,8 Great Meals for Couples or Crowds
A 30-Minute Cook-Book

Ingredients

• 2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil 
• 1-1/2 pounds ground meat loaf mix (a combination of beef, pork and veal) (veal? Sorry, I was getting the mahogany trim in my Lear jet varnished and didn't have the opportunity to pick any up. I guess we'll just have to go with all 73/27 ground beef. Just remember to drain it!)
• 1/2 teaspoon allspice
• 1/2 tablespoon ground coriander (screwed up and only used 1/2 teaspoon. No harm done)
• 2 teaspoons smoked sweet paprika (I loves me some smoked paprika. I used about a tablespoon)
• salt and pepper (why do people insist on adding salt to dishes that use canned goods? There's plenty salt going on right there. I did use a few grinds of fresh black pepper)
•  1 bay leaf (by now you should know my stance on bay leaves)
• 1 onion, chopped (We went with a sweet onion)
• 2 garlic cloves, minced
• 1 carrot, thinly sliced with a vegetable peeler into strips, then finely chopped (I think they meant "grated." That's what it sounded like to me, so that's what I did. I'm not a real chef. I can't be bothered with frippery like that)
• 1 pound Savoy cabbage, thinly sliced (I just used regular old green cabbage from my garden, because that's the sort of shit we rustic types do. Just pluck a bastard from the garden and chuck it on a plate)
• 1 28-ounce can diced tomatoes (I used two 14.5 ounce cans. Didn't drain the liquid either)
• 1 cup tomato sauce
• 1 quart chicken stock
• 1 cup white rice
• handful fresh parsley leaves, chopped
• 3 tablespoons fresh dill, finely chopped (omitted)

Directions

1. Heat a deep pot over medium-high heat. Add olive oil and meat. Brown the meat (draining grease if necessary. It was for me because I used cheap-ass meat. Ask for it by name)

   

   You can never go wrong with quality "miscellaneous service meat"

2. Season the meat with the allspice, coriander, smoked paprika, salt (if you're a fan of high blood pressure) and pepper. Then add the onion, carrots, garlic and bay leaf. Cook for 2-3 minutes or until vegetables begin to soften, then add the cabbage to wilt slightly. Add the tomatoes, tomato sauce and stock and bring to a boil. 
3. Add rice and reduce to heat to a simmer. Cook for 16-18 minutes until the rice is just tender. Stir in the parsley and dill (if using). Discard the bay leaf (see? Even Rachael Ray knows bay leaves=DEATH). 

Good times!

Monday Recipe: Macaroni & Cheese Stuffed Meatloaf

     Ah, meatloaf. The quintessential middle-class dinner. Basically a slab of baked ground beef. My parents used to make a wicked good meatloaf. Naturally, they had no actual recipe. They just threw a bunch of stuff in a bowl and mashed it around with their hands. Then they'd put it in a loaf pan and bake it. They'd top it with a little barbecue sauce and cheese and there you had it. Dinner was served!
     I still do fundamentally the same thing when I make meatloaf. However, last Friday was different. The wife and I were discussing dinner options and meatloaf came up. She enjoys my meatloaf quite a bit and said I should make it. I suggested mac & cheese as a side. Then it hit me. A stroke of genius unlike any other. I would put the mac & cheese IN the meatloaf!

Even Relativity Theory pales in comparison

     The wife raved. People on Facebook raved. I was moderately impressed. Esteemed ladies and gentlemen, I present to you...

Macaroni & Cheese Stuffed Meatloaf

Ingredients
For Macaroni & Cheese

• 1 5.5 ounce box macaroni & cheese mix
• 2 tablespoons heavy cream
• 1 tablespoon butter
• 3/4 cup shredded colby-jack cheese

For Meat

• 2 pounds 80/20 ground beef
• 1 egg
• 2 tablespoons bread crumbs
• 1 small onion, chopped
• 1/4 cup barbecue sauce, plus another 1/4 cup reserved
• 3/4 cup shredded colby-jack cheese, reserved

Directions

For Macaroni and Cheese

1. Cook pasta according to directions, drain and return to pot
2. Add contents of cheese packet, butter, cream and shredded cheese, stir until all ingredients are melted and incorporated. 
3. Set pot aside

For Meat

This is what you should have
at step #4

1. Preheat oven to  375F. Put a crappy cookie sheet on the bottom rack to catch the inevitable drippings.
2. In a large bowl, add meat, onion, bread crumbs, and 1/4 cup barbecue sauce. Mix well with hands. Yes, your hands. This is how it's done. Stop being a baby and get in there.
3. In a loaf pan, put a layer of meat (about 1/2") on the bottom. Then take more meat and use it to build walls. You should end up with a trench in the middle. It should look like bathtub made of meat. 
4. Fill the trench with as much of the mac & cheese mixture that you can. Don't go above the top of the pan. Feel free to eat any of the leftover mac & cheese as you cook. That's what we did. At this point, things should look like the picture above.
5. Cover the mac & cheese with the last of the meat. Pat it down. 
6. Put in the oven for about 40 minutes. You're going to need to take it out a couple of times and drain the fat. If you have one of those fancy meatloaf pans (as seen on TV!) it will be much easier. Otherwise, use a wooden spatula to hold the meatloaf in place while you tip the pan to drain the fat. Be careful to not let the top of the meatloaf break off. You'll have to drain the fat a couple of times during the cooking.
7. After 40 minutes, take out and spread remaining barbecue sauce over the top of the meatloaf. Sprinkle remaining cheese over the barbecue sauce. Return to oven until cheese is melted, about 10-15 more minutes.
8. Remove from oven and let sit for about 10 minutes before serving. Be extremely careful if you're going to take it out of the pan before slicing. You may want to use two spatulas and come at it from both ends. Cut gently with a large knife. I used my big bread slicer.

Good times!