Three Mustard Pepper Relish

     The weather this summer has absolutely sucked. It started off cold and raining for weeks. Then it was hot and raining. Then it was hot and humid. Weeds are rampant, Bugs are rampant. All our cucumbers died. The tomatoes are running late. Our peppers, however, are growing out of control. Once again I am inundated with banana peppers. I could always do my Sriracha Stuffed Banana Peppers but I'm pretty sure I still haven't eaten the ones I froze last season. I perused the interwebz and found a likely recipe at BetterRecipes. I liked the idea, but it used only yellow mustard. That's a pretty commanding flavor profile here. I like yellow mustard, but not enough to risk that much. I decided on a mix of three different types instead. The result was absolute dynamite. This would be great on a brat, Polish sausage, pork, chicken, just about anything. The Wife even put it on her eggs. My only complaint is it probably could use more peppers. You could probably add another half dozen peppers easy. If you like mustard, give it a try and see what you think. As always, notes and changes are in blue.

Three Mustard Pepper Relish

Ingredients

• 3 dozen banana peppers
• 3 cups white vinegar
• 1/2 cup yellow mustard 
• 1/2 cup spicy brown mustard
• 1/2 cup Kentucky's Smokin' Grill Grand Spiced Honey Mustard (this really brings this recipe together. You could probably find another spicy honey mustard, but it's not going to be the same. This stuff is the bomb-diggety)
• 3 cups white sugar
• 3/4 cups water
• 3/4 cups flour
• 1 tablespoon dried minced onion
• 1 heaping teaspoon garlic powder
• 1 heaping teaspoon onion powder

Directions

1. Cut the stems off the peppers and discard (the stems, not the peppers) Finely chop the peppers into tiny little pieces. If you have a food processor, pulse the peppers in small batches. You're looking for pieces less than 1/8". 
2. Put the peppers, water and vinegar in a nonreactive pot. Bring to a boil. Reduce to simmer and let simmer for about 10 minutes.
3. Add sugar and stir until sugar is completely dissolved. 
4. Add remaining ingredients and turn the heat down a bit. You don't want the flour to overthicken (is that even a word? It is now. SCREW YOU, SPELLCHECK). Stir everything for a few minutes to make sure the flour is incorporated. If you have a whisk, use it.
5. If you are terrified of canning, stop here. You now have a quart  of relish that's only going to last about a month in the fridge. 
6. If you like canning, this will yield about 8 half pint jars. Seal them with a two-part lid. Process them in a boiling water canner for 12 minutes. If you decide on pint jars, process for 15 minutes. As always, double check with the National Center for Home Food Preservation for tips on how to not accidentally poison your loved ones.

Good times!

Too Damned Easy Pickled Cabbage

     Ah, the humble cabbage. Really, there's not a whole lot I can say other than to head into a bunch of cabbage fart jokes. That's too obvious, so we'll get to it. Fermentation is all the rage right now and everybody is fermenting all sorts of things. Unfortunately, I don't follow current trends (as anybody who has seen my wardrobe or listened to my music can attest). I am also lazy and impatient. Fermenting takes time. If I want sauerkraut, I would have to put in the time. That's not happening. Instead, I made this pickled mixture. It's got a nice tang, some big flavor and a bit of a snap. There's room for interpretation, too. This stuff makes a great side dish, or cut up some smoked sausage and mix it in for a gastric bludgeon! By no means do you actually have to boil can this stuff. If you plan on eating it right away, skip steps 4 and 5 and serve it up. I think the extra time gives it some extra flavor. Plus, I like looking at the cans. As always, notes are in blue.

Too Damned Easy
Pickled Cabbage

Ingredients

• 2 medium heads cabbage, cut into 1/2-inch wide ribbons
• 6 banana peppers, sliced into 1/2-inch wide rings (if you want to add a bit of spice, use Hungarian Wax peppers instead)
• 1 medium white onion, quartered and sliced
• 12 peppercorns
• 1 tablespoon fennel seeds
• 1 teaspoon red pepper flakes
• 2 cups cider vinegar (make sure it has 5% acidity)
• 2 cups water

Directions

1. Toss cabbage, peppers and onion in a large bowl. Make sure everything is evenly distributed.
2. In a large, non-reactive pot, combine vinegar, water, peppercorns, red pepper flakes and fennel seeds. Heat to a boil.

   

   We've discussed the issue with non-reactive pots. 

3. Add the vegetables and stir for 3-5 minutes (you want everything mixed in the vinegar. You don't want to overcook the veggies though. They should still have some snap when you can them).
4. With a slotted spoon, load vegetables into quart jars. Top with the hot liquid, leaving 1/4 inch head space (make sure to load the peppercorns, pepper flakes and fennel seeds in there, too. Nothing is wasted here).
5. Seal jars with a canning lid and ring and process in a boiling water bath for 15 minutes. As always, refer to the National Center for Home Food Preservation to see how to not accidentally kill anyone. Properly sealed jars should be good for around a year (don't quote me on that. If you make yourself sick, we never met). 

Good times!