Companies I'd Be Glad To Sell Out To

     As much as I enjoy writing this blog for the six or seven people who follow it, I really only am doing this for the remote chance that I will get famous. I am putting it out there that I would be more than happy to whore myself out to any company that would provide me with cash or material goods. Drive that dump truck of money and kitchen supplies to my door. I'm not made of stone. Remodel my kitchen, I don't care. In the event that anyone with the power to make those things happen is reading, I have a wish list of companies I would be glad to shill for. If I can get it for nothing, I will gladly wear or use the product.

Just like this, but with cooking.

Kitchenaid
I already own a Kitchenaid stand mixer, and I love it. I would love an endless supply of attachments. Or knives. Hell, I'll take an apron.

Misono Knives
These knives are so beautiful and could cut a cow in half in one swing. They're also outside of my price range. If anyone is listening, I would be more than happy to post endless pictures of me swinging this knife around the kitchen to my Facebook page. Those 37 likes could make a big difference.
UPDATE: I'm up to 1,196 likes if that makes any difference in a potential sponsorship.

Viking Range Corporation
I could do so many wonderful things with one of their ranges in my kitchen. They are hugely awesome and powerful. The thought of a six-burner powerhouse cranking away gives me tingly feelings in my private places.

Royal Doulton
If it's good enough for my close friend, Gordon Ramsay, it is certainly good enough for me.

Land Rover
While it is not specifically cooking related, I certainly would be much happier picking up groceries in a Range Rover. Just saying.

Good times!