Pumpkin Pie Pudding

     I'm sure if you checked your cabinets right now, you would find a can of pumpkin lurking about. Go ahead and check. I'll wait.

     You found one, didn't you? If not, you just didn't look hard enough. I assure you, it's in there. The point of this exercise is to find that can and be rid of it in the simplest way possible that doesn't involve just throwing it in the trash. With a couple more ingredients, you can chuck it all in the slow cooker and have pumpkin pie pudding! All right, it's not really that exciting, but it does taste exactly like the filling of a pumpkin pie. This shouldn't be a shocker because if you check the ingredients, that's basically what you have thrown in the slow cooker. Stop complaining and cover it with whipped cream. As always, any notes or changes are in blue.

Pumpkin Pie Pudding
via Fix It and Forget It Lightly

Ingredients

• 15-ounce can pumpkin
• 12-ounce can evaporated skim milk (just used regular evaporated milk. I can't stand skim)
• 3/4 cup Splenda (calories or tumors...hmm. I went with 3/4 cup granulated sugar instead)
• 1/2 cup low-fat buttermilk baking mix (didn't have the low-fat variety. Just used regular buttermilk mix)
• 2 eggs, beaten or 6 egg whites (I don't feel like storing a half dozen egg yolks and I'm certainly just not going to shitcan them. I went with the 2 egg option)
• 2 teaspoons pumpkin pie spice
• 1 teaspoon lemon zest (I was feeling lazy and didn't want to zest a lemon that I actually had on hand. I used dried lemon peel from a jar instead)

Directions

1. Spray slow-cooker with non-stick cooking spray (this inside)
2. Combine all ingredients in slow cooker. Stir until lumps disappear.
3. Cover. Cook on LOW 3 hours.
4. Serve warm or cold.

Good times!

Chocolate Concoction

     Slow-cooker cook books often have recipes that are a bit sketchy health-wise. Often they are packed with sodium to the point of causing a cardiac event at the dinner table. Every now and then you come across a slow-cooker cook book that is full of hilariously unhealthy recipes. Gooseberry Patch Super Fast Slow Cooking is one of those books. Recipe after recipe is absolutely packed with salt and sugar. I love this book. Most of the meals will cause me to gain 4-7 pounds in water from a single meal. While this recipe is not packed with sodium, it is a fat and sugar bomb. If you're counting calories, you'll need a scientific calculator for this one. It is phenomenally rich; we can only eat about three forkfuls before we need a drink of water to move it along. As always, any notes and changes are in blue.

Chocolate Concoction
via Gooseberry Patch Super Fast Slow Cooking

Ingredients

• 1 box 18.25 ounce devil's food cake mix
• 16 ounce container sour cream (we tried to mitigate the damage of this dessert by using low fat sour cream)
• 3.9 ounce package instant chocolate pudding mix (more damage control here by using sugar-free pudding mix)
• 1-1/2 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
• 4 eggs, beaten
• 1 cup water
• Optional: French vanilla ice cream (if you're having ice cream with this, you might as well just go ahead and stab yourself in the pancreas)

Directions

1. Beat all ingredients (except ice cream, if using) until smooth.
2. Pour into a slow cooker that has been sprayed with non-stick vegetable spray.
3. Cover and cook on LOW for 6-8 hours
4. Serve with ice cream if you really hate yourself.

Good times!

Monday Recipe: Jalapeno Corn Pudding via Bon Appetit

     Monday is once again upon us and that means another recipe. Last week I posted on my Facebook page about a jalapeno feast I cooked over the weekend.  Logically, I waited over a week to post a recipe from that meal.  This recipe is always a favorite in my house. While it is a bit labor intensive, it's worth it. The consistency is similar to a very moist corn bread. It's a great side for just about any meat. 

     A nice thing about this recipe is that it's easy to customize. If you don't like jalapenos, leave them out. If you want more heat, add a couple more or swap out a hotter pepper. I tend to use a heaping 1/3 cup of jalapenos. I like the flavor and the added heat gives the dish a little more punch. Enjoy!

Jalapeno Corn Pudding

 (via Bon Appetit)

Ingredients

2 tablespoons (1/4 stick) butter

1 cup chopped onion

1 cup fresh corn kernels

1/3 cup finely chopped seeded jalapeños

3 garlic cloves, chopped

1 cup cornmeal

1 ½ cups milk

½ cup heavy whipping cream

1 cup chopped roasted red bell peppers (from jar, drained is ok)

½ cup chopped green onions

½ cup chopped fresh cilantro

½ teaspoons freshly ground black pepper

3 large eggs, separated

1 cup coarsely grated Manchego or sharp cheddar cheese

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350F. Butter 2-quart shallow baking dish
2. Melt 2 tablespoons butter in skillet over medium-high heat. Add onion, corn, jalapeño, garlic. Sauté until soft, about 4 minutes
3. Stir in cornmeal, add milk and cream. Stir over medium heat until thick batter forms (about 2 minutes)
4.   Transfer to large bowl, stir in red peppers,green onions, cilantro, 1 teaspoon salt, pepper. Cool 15 minutes. Stir in eggyolks
5.  In mixer, beat egg whites until soft peaks form.Fold into batter.
6.   Transfer to baking dish. Sprinkle with cheese.Bake until top is golden brown and center is just set (about 35 minutes). Serve immediately

Good times!

Too Damned Easy Chocolate Pudding Macaroon Pie

     Now that the school year is in full swing, time is of the essence during the week. When I get home, I need dinner to come together in less than an hour if at all possible. I need all the time I can get to focus on unwinding, smoking cigars and drinking bourbon in preparation for the next day. It is this time-consciousness that has caused me to start writing these "Too Damned Easy" recipes. Some of these recipes may seem ridiculous in their simplicity, but you'll thank me when you are able to put together a decent meal after work that doesn't take much time or effort. These are recipes that you should have all the ingredients for at any given time. Okay, maybe you won't have macaroons on hand. Get creative. Bust up whatever cookies are laying around. Throw some Cap'n Crunch in there. Get crazy. As always, any notes are in blue.

Too Damned Easy
Chocolate Pudding Macaroon Pie

Ingredients

• 9" graham cracker pie crust (store bought. If you're making it from scratch here, you're missing the point of this recipe)
• 10-12 macaroons of your favorite flavor, broken up into small bits (for whatever reason, I had a can of cappuccino macaroons, so that's what I used)
•  1 box instant chocolate pudding
• Milk for instant pudding
• Whipped topping, optional (I had better not find out you made it from scratch. You'd better be busting out a container of Cool Whip. I would have used it, but I didn't have any in the house and I sure as hell wasn't making a special trip to the store for a throw-together dessert)

Directions

1. Take broken-up macaroons and lay them in an even layer in the pie crust. 

   

   Like so.
   I assure you, no matter how much that looks like ground beef, it is actually cappuccino macaroons in there.

2. Make the chocolate pudding according to the instructions on the box (this is where you double check that you're using INSTANT pudding or you're going to be sorely disappointed later when you have a bowl of chocolate macaroon soup)
3. Pour the pudding into the pie crust, making sure to completely cover the macaroons.
4. Refrigerate for at least an hour. Top with whipped topping when serving.

Good times!

Tiramisu Parfaits

     I really need to start posting more dessert recipes. Dessert is the final challenge of the meal! For my father-in-law's birthday, the wife and I cooked him Italian pinwheel rolls, linguine with white clam sauce, escalope of chicken, and zucchini boats. He made a herculean effort to get through dinner, finishing off a big helping of everything. Then came dessert. Like a champ, he powered through it, leaving nothing but a napkin stuffed into the glass. It's subtle signs like that which let you know a recipe is a good one! This particular recipe is another winner from Taste of Home Everyday Light Meals. As always, notes and changes are in blue.

Tiramisu Parfaits
via Taste of Home Everyday Light Meals

Ingredients

• 4-1/2 teaspoons instant coffee granules
• 1/3 cup boiling water
• 2 cups cold fat-free milk (2% for me, same as always)
• 2 packages (1 ounce each) sugar-free instant vanilla pudding mix
• 4 ounces fat-free cream cheese
• 1 package (3 ounces) ladyfingers, split and cubed (could not find the soft kind ANYWHERE. We used half a package of the cookie-style ladyfingers. It was about 3.5 ounces.)
• 2 cups fat-free whipped topping (we used an entire tub of Cool-Whip. That's like 2 cups, right?)
• 2 tablespoons miniature chocolate chips (not only were the chips not mini, I didn't measure them either. I just sprinkled them completely at will)
• 1 teaspoon baking cocoa (again, I didn't measure. I just eyeballed it)

Directions

1. Dissolve coffee in boiling water; cool to room temperature.
2. In a large bowl, whisk milk and pudding mixes for 2 minutes.
3. In a larger mixing bowl, beat cream cheese until smooth (you're also going to want to make sure the cream cheese isn't cold. It needs to be a bit soft for this to work) Gradually fold in the pudding. (this recipe doesn't mention that the cream cheese does not easily incorporate into the pudding. It sort of breaks up into little balls. I had to put this all in the Kitchenaid with the whisk attachment and whisk the crap out of it for 2-3 minutes. It eventually blended smoothly)
4. Place ladyfinger cubes in a bowl; add coffee and toss to coat evenly. Let stand for 5 minutes. Divide half of the ladyfinger cubes among five (may vary depending on size of glasses) parfait glasses or serving dishes. Top with half of the pudding mixture, 1 cup of whipped topping and 1 tablespoon of chocolate chips. Repeat layers.
5. Cover and refrigerate for 8 hours or overnight. Just before serving, dust with cocoa.

Good times!