Linguine with Shrimp and Bacon in Red Wine Cream Sauce

     We love our pasta. If I made pasta every night, The Wife would be the happiest woman in the world. She'd also weigh 400 pounds and hold me responsible. Anyways, we love pasta. And shrimp. And bacon. I figured I'd combine them all into a new pasta dish. The addition of red wine was, in my humble opinion, a great idea. We used a red table wine and it gave the sauce a really good flavor. If liquor is not an option for your cooking, just use an equal amount of stock. Give it a try and let me know what you think! Unless you don't like it, in which case leave me the hell alone. As always, notes are in blue.

Linguine with Shrimp and Bacon
in Red Wine Cream Sauce

Ingredients

• 1/2 pound bacon, diced
• 1 pound shrimp
• 1/2 large red onion, chopped
• 3 cloves garlic, minced
• 3 tablespoons tomato paste
• 3/4 cup heavy cream
• 1/2 cup red wine
• 1/4 cup stock (you can use the water from cooking the shrimp)
• 1/3 cup grated Parmesan cheese
• 3 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley
• black pepper to taste

Directions

1. In a pan, cook the bacon until starting to crisp. Drain, saving 1 tablespoon of the bacon drippings. Remove bacon to a paper towel.
2. In a medium pot, boil the shrimp for a few minutes, until pink. Peel and remove tails. Put shrimp aside to drain. (Leave the tails in the peelings in the water to boil. That will serve as your stock)
3. In the pan with the grease, set heat to medium high. Add onion and garlic and sautee for 5-7 minutes. Do not let the garlic brown too much. 
4. Stir in the stock and the tomato paste. Bring to a simmer. Add the wine and simmer, stirring until the tomato paste is totally incorporated. 
5. Lower heat and add cream, and Parmesan. Stir until cheese is incorporated. (If you think the sauce is too thick, cut it with a little more stock)
6. Cook pasta until al dente. Drain and return to pot. Pour sauce in over pasta. Toss with chopped parsley and black pepper. 

Good Times!

Rigatoni With Tomato and Chorizo

     There was a long period of time during which I had no idea there was more than one type of chorizo. I was used to the Mexican-style of chorizo, which is like a ground meat. I couldn't figure out what to do when recipes called for "sliced chorizo." There was lots of swearing while I desperately tried to slice something the consistency of braunschweiger. I eventually was given an Italian cookbook where it dawned on me that the chorizo I wanted was Spanish chorizo, which is like salami. Everything changed. Now recipes like the one here weren't greasy messes. This recipe is just wonderful. It has a nice balance of sweet and spicy, with a touch of heat. Give it a try. I bet you'll like it as much as we did. If not, send me the leftovers. As always, notes or changes are in blue.

Rigatoni With Chorizo and Tomato
via The Essential Pasta Cookbook

Ingredients

• 2 tablespoons olive oil (I used 3 tablespoons of extra virgin. You may use as many virgins as you feel necessary)
• 1 onion, sliced (I used 1-1/2 Vidalia onions. I imagine most onions would work here)
• 8 ounces chorizo sausage, sliced (Spanish chorizo, not Mexican. As mentioned, you can't really slice Mexican chorizo. Plus, it's the totally wrong ingredient. We used a 10 ounce chorizo)
• 14 ounce can crushed tomatoes (I used a full quart of my home-canned tomatoes with garlic and basil)
• 1/2 cup dry white wine (I used 3/4 cup Charles Shaw Sauvignon Blanc. There's not much other use for Three Buck Chuck dry white wine)
• 1/2-1 teaspoon chopped chili, optional (Not optional for me! I used 1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes)
• 12 ounces rigatoni (the box was 1 pound, so I used a full pound)
• 2 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley
• 2 tablespoons freshly grated Parmesan

Directions

1. Heat the oil in a frying pan. Add the onion and stir over low heat until tender.
2. Add the sausage to the pan and cook, turning frequently (the sausage, not you. You'll look like a schmuck pirouetting in front of the stove while everything burns), 2-3 minutes. Add the tomato, wine, chili and salt and pepper to taste; stir. Bring to a boil, reduce heat and simmer uncovered for 15-20 minutes. 
3. While the sauce is cooking, cook the rigatoni until al dente (You'll notice I'm not explaining this step. Seriously, if I have to instruct you on how to boil pasta, please go order a pizza before you start a fire in the kitchen). Drain the pasta and return to the pan. Add the sauce to the hot pasta. Toss well to combine (we always just toss it in our own bowls. If we mix it all up on the spot, the pasta gets gooey when we go to eat the leftovers later in the week). Serve sprinkled with the combined fresh parsley and Parmesan cheese. 

UPDATE:
Here's the YouTube video for this recipe!

Good times!

Bootleg Cheddar Bay Biscuits

     Red Lobster is one of those restaurants I like despite the fact I should know better. You just can't say no to unlimited shrimp or crab legs. One of my fondest memories is going to Red Lobster with The Wife and watching her eat crab legs. She would just bend the legs until BANG! Crab meat on the table. Crab meat on the wall. Crab meat in her hair. Crab meat on my glasses.

It was similar to this, but with crab meat.

Truly, it was inspiring. Naturally, any trip to Red Lobster would be punctuated by cramming as many Cheddar Bay Biscuits into our bodies as was possible. Then we'd ask for a bunch extra and a to-go box. If we didn't leave with a dozen biscuits, we weren't trying hard enough. Eventually, I figured I should just figure out how to make them myself and save the trip and inevitable hammersmash of crab meat. I searched the interwebs and found a couple recipes (the main biscuit recipe and a Biscuit knockoff) that I combined and modified into what we feel is a damned close approximation of the Cheddar Bay Biscuit. Don't eat these right away. Give them about an hour for the butter to settle in. Then pop one in the microwave one for about 30 seconds and tell me it's not the real deal. As always, changes and notes are in blue.

Bootleg Cheddar Bay Biscuits

 Ingredients

• 3 cups all-purpose flour
• 1-1/2 tablespoons baking powder
• 1/2 tablespoon salt
• 1/2 cup solid bacon grease (every home-made Biscuit recipe I saw said to use shortening. I used bacon grease because I felt it would add a nice flavor. Also, it's all I had on hand. I'm not making a special trip for shortening) 
• 3/4 cup milk
• 4 tablespoons butter
• 1 teaspoon garlic powder
• 1 heaping cup grated cheddar cheese

For Brushing on Top

• 2 tablespoons melted butter
• 1/4 teaspoon dried parsley
• 1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
• pinch of salt

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 400F (200C, Gasmark 6)
2. Mix flour, baking powder and salt in large bowl (generally you are instructed to sift these items into the bowl, to which I say, "bite me.")
3. Cut in bacon grease until mixture starts to make large crumbs.
4. Add milk, cheese, 1 teaspoon garlic powder. Mix until combined (I used the Kitchenaid for a few seconds. Don't overdo the mixing, though)
5. Drop 1/4 cup portions (I just used an ice cream scoop) of the dough onto an ungreased cookie sheet. Bake 15-17 minutes or until tops of the biscuits turn light brown.
6. In a small bowl, mix the melted butter, parsley, 1/2 teaspoon garlic powder and salt.  When the biscuits come out of the oven, brush the butter mixture over the tops (use it all. To not use all this mixture would be a mortal sin).

Good times!

Chile Shrimp with Butter Beans and Lemony Couscous

     I'm always a bit leery about picking a recipe based solely on reviews. I've worked in retail long enough to know that people generally only come forward with complaints. That's because most people are fucking morons. This particular recipe came out of a Food & Wine magazine. I checked online and it had a 2-1/2 star review by the public. If Roger Ebert has taught me anything, it is that 2-1/2 stars does not mean it is bad, or even below-average. It means it did what it set out to do, but some people (fucking morons) will not like it. Those are likely the same people who ate paste as children. The Wife and I loved this dish. It had a great combo of flavors. It had heat from the chile, and a salty, lemony bite that appealed to The Wife. As a bonus, this dish comes together in a hurry, so it's great for a weeknight dinner. As always, notes and changes are in blue.

Chile Shrimp with Butter Beans
and Lemony Couscous
via Food & Wine

Ingredients

• 2/3 cup couscous
• 3 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
• 1 pound shelled and deveined medium shrimp (as I never have fresh shrimp in the house, I went with a pound of frozen. I kept the tails to make shrimp stock for later use)
• 1/2 teaspoon crushed red pepper
• 2 tablespoons unsalted butter (that's the same thing as margarine, right? Because that's what I used)
• One 15-ounce can butter beans, rinsed and drained
• 2 tablespoons capers
• 1 1/2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice (fresh from the bottle!)
• 1 tablespoon chopped parsley (we hadn't started growing our own yet, so I used 1 teaspoon of dried)

Directions

1. In a bowl, stir the couscous with 3/4 cup of boiling water (if you want a little more depth, boil the shrimp tails in this water for 10 minutes before you add the couscous. Make sure to remove the tails before adding the couscous, because leaving them in would be dumb) Cover with a lid and steam for 5 minutes. Fluff with a fork.
2. Meanwhile, in a nonstick skillet, heat 2 tablespoons of the oil. Add the shrimp and crushed red pepper and cook over moderately high heat until golden, 2 to 3 minutes; transfer to a plate. Add the butter to the skillet. Add the beans, capers and lemon juice and cook, stirring, for 2 minutes.
3. Fold the bean mixture, parsley and remaining 1 tablespoon of olive oil into the couscous; season with salt and pepper. Serve topped with the shrimp.

Good times, baby!

Baked Pasta Frittata

     I really like the idea of baked pasta, but it's just not something we do much in our house. I'm not sure what came over me to decide on this recipe. I think I was looking for some sort of pasta casserole and saw this. I had most of the ingredients in the house and had solid substitutions for the ingredients that were not on hand.  The result was not bad. The smoked sausage gave it a nice savory flavor. I think this would be good if I swapped in some spinach or kale. It was a touch on the heavy side and made for a very filling meal. I'll try it again, but I have the feeling this will be one of those recipes I'm endlessly swapping parts on. As always, changes and notes are in blue.

Baked Pasta Frittata 
via The Essential Pasta Cookbook

Ingredients

• 1 oz butter
• 4 oz mushrooms, sliced
• 6 eggs
• 1 green pepper, seeded and chopped (the Wife's not a huge fan of green peppers, so we used a yellow bell pepper)
• 4 oz ham, sliced (we decided we had a surplus of smoked sausages in the freezer, so we used a 7 oz smoked sausage, halved and sliced)
• 1 cup cream or milk (we went with heavy cream)
• 3-1/2 oz spaghetti, cooked and chopped (amazingly enough, we did not have spaghetti in the house. We used rotini instead)
• 2 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley
• 1/4 cup freshly grated Parmesan (right. Freshly poured out of the jar of Parmesan is more like it)

Directions

1. Preheat the oven to 350F. Lightly brush a flan dish with oil or melted butter (flan dish? Didn't have one on hand. I must have left it in the trunk of my Rolls Royce when I had the butler take it to be serviced. Please. I used my trusty cast iron skillet)
2. Melt the butter in a frying pan, add the mushrooms and cook over low heat for 2-3 minutes.  Add the pepper and cook for 1 minute. Stir in the meat. Remove the pan from the heat and allow the mixture to cool slightly. 
3. In a small bowl, whisk the eggs, cream and salt and pepper to taste. Stir in the pasta, parsley and mushroom mixture and pour into the prepared dish. Sprinkle with Parmesan and bake for 25-30 minutes. 

Good times!

Too Damned Easy Cucumber Tomato Salad

     This is the point in the summer where we start trying to use our garden produce in vast quantities. That's where the wife's recipe for cucumber tomato salad comes into play. This recipe couldn't be any more simple. Just about any tomato will work, but we have been using these orange tomatoes since they are super sweet and mild.

Too Damned Easy
Cucumber Tomato Salad

Ingredients

• 2-3 large cucumbers, sliced
• 1 large onion, cut into about 1” pieces
• 3-4 tomatoes of your choosing, sliced

Vinaigrette:

• 1 cup white vinegar 
• ¾ cup water 
• ¾ cup sugar (or six packets of your favorite carcinogenic sweetener)
• 1 teaspoon salt 
• 1/8 teaspoon black pepper 
• dash cayenne pepper 
• dash parsley 
• dash basil

Directions

1. Mix vinaigrette ingredients in large bowl until sugar is dissolved. 
2. Add vegetables. 
3. Let marinate in refrigerator 1-2 hours.

Good times!

Pique Sauce via Hot Sauce!

     We're still looking for fast and simple ways to use up the peppers that are starting to pile up. Naturally, I turned to Hot Sauce! for some inspiration. I found a base recipe for Pique, a Puerto Rican style hot sauce that couldn't be easier to put together. If you've eaten at Steak & Shake, you've no doubt seen that jar of peppers and vinegar on the table. Fundamentally, that's Pique. It's just peppers and some herbs floating in white vinegar. There's a lot of freedom to pick and choose the peppers and herbs. It's also nice because it's not likely to spoil, seeing as the liquid is entirely vinegar!

Pique
via Hot Sauce! by Jennifer Trainer Thompson

Ingredients

• 10-12 fresh chiles (try different colors, lengths, and shapes, such as green serrano, red Tabasco, and yellow habanero) (we went with cayenne on one batch and jalapenos for another)
• 6 cloves of garlic, peeled
• 4 cups distilled or white wine vinegar
• 5 or 6 sprigs mixed fresh herbs (we used lemon basil and oregano with the cayenne and cilantro and parsley with the jalapenos)
• Whole peppercorns in assorted colors

Directions

1. Bring a pot of water to a boil. Cut off the stems and a bit of the top of the chiles (or if you prefer the look of the stem, make a slice in the chiles) so the vinegar can get inside (we like the look of the whole pepper and went with the slice)
2. Add the chiles and garlic to the boiling water, leaving them there for a few minutes to soften up the chiles. Divide the garlic and chiles between sterilized bottles that will hold 6 cups total. 
3. Heat the vinegar to just below boiling in a non-reactive saucepan.

   

   Remember our talk on reactive pans?

   Pour the vinegar into the bottles. Add a few sprigs of herbs to each for flavor and looks (add the peppercorns at this step if you're using them), making sure to push them down below the surface of the vinegar (or just add the herbs first and pour vinegar in carefully). 
4. Seal the bottles and allow to sit for 2 weeks in a spot that's not too sunny, turning occasionally (the bottles, not you) before using. The longer the sauce sits, the hotter it gets. 

Good times!

Giant Garlic Bread Stick

     Today I'm posting the last recipe for last Sunday's Italian feast. It all started with what I thought was going to be a loaf of bread. I quickly changed my mind when I realized I was fundamentally making a pizza dough. I wound up messing around and making a honking big bread stick instead. It turned out really well and was wonderful for slopping up the red sauce from the ravioli and meatballs. So with no further delay, here it is.

Giant Garlic Breadstick

Ingredients

• 3 cups flour, plus more for dusting
• 1-1/2 teaspoon salt
• 2 packets active dry yeast
• 1/2 cup lukewarm water, plus more as needed (I'll explain later)
• 3 tablespoons olive oil, plus more as needed (I'll explain later)
• 1 tablespoon each, dried oregano, basil, parsley
• 1/2 cup grated Parmesan cheese
• Minced garlic, 3-6 cloves or 2 tablespoons jarred
• 3 tablespoons butter, melted

Directions

1. Put first seven items into a mixing bowl. Mix ingredients (If you have a Kitchenaid, you're golden. Chuck the first seven ingredients into the bowl, put on the dough hook, set to power level 2 and go. If not, you're going to be working the dough by hand.)
2. This is basically an extension of the first step. Regardless of how you're working the dough, my method is woefully inexact. The dough will be very dry and crumbly to start. During the mixing, you're going to need to add in a little more oil and water. What we're looking for is a nice, elastic dough. It should pull everything off the sides and bottom of the bowl and work into a ball. Start by adding a teaspoon of oil. Then a scant 1/4 cup of water. Go back and forth between the oil and water until the dough hits that consistency we're looking for. If the dough gets sticky, sprinkle a little extra flour in there. The dough should NOT be sticky. You're going to work it for about 5 minutes.

   

   This is exactly what we're looking for here. Nothing stuck to the sides or bottom.

3. Once the dough is the desired consistency take it out of the bowl and work it for a couple of more minutes. If it was in the mixer, take it out and work it by hand for a couple of more minutes. Put it back into the bowl and cover it with greased plastic wrap. Put the bowl in a warm place and let it rise for about an hour. If all goes well, the dough should double in size.
4. Take out the dough and knock it down. Knead it for a couple more minutes. Then cut the dough into two equal pieces. Roll each piece out to about 12-15 inches. Lay them next to each other on a greased baking sheet. Try to twist them around each other into a quasi-braid sort of thing. (I'm completely cack-handed with this sort of thing and mine looked fairly horrifying at this stage. This is why the wife does the complicated braiding stuff when we bake).

   

   Like I said, not pretty.

5. Take the minced garlic and throw it in the melted butter. Grab a brush and paint the top of the bread with a liberal dose of the garlic-butter mixture. Don't be shy. Hold a little of the mix back for later. Or go crazy and use it all right now. You can always make more later. Don't live in fear. 
6. Throw the tray in a preheated oven at 375-400F. Give it 15-20 minutes. Keep an eye on it. Ovens vary and I am not a reliable source of information. Cooking times may vary. When it looks like it's about done (the outside should be getting golden and developing a nice crust), take it out and hit it with another round of garlic-butter mix. Go nuts. Put the bread back in the oven for another 3-5 minutes. Give it the old "tap on it and if it sounds hollow, it's done trick."
7. Take it out and let it rest for a few minutes. Mostly to see if you can do it. We couldn't wait and wound up burning the crap out of the inside of our mouths. 

Good times!

Italian Pinwheel Rolls (via Everyday Light Meals)

     It seems that every time my wife leaves me unattended in the house I end up baking. I'm not sure why that is, but she hasn't complained yet. Today she went out for a couple of hours and I immediately started looking for something to bake. I busted open a well worn cookbook (Taste of Home Everyday Light Meals) and started searching for a recipe that I could make with what I had in the house. I ended up with these rolls. I threw in some dried tomatoes we had left over from last season and they added a nice sweet note to the rolls. The wife was suitably pleased with the results and wound up eating three or four.

Italian Pinwheel Rolls 
(via Taste of Home Everyday Light Meals)

Ingredients

• 1 package (.25 oz) active dry yeast
• 1 cup warm water (100-115F)
• 1.5 teaspoon sugar
• 1.5 teaspoon butter, softened
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 2.25-2.5 cups flour

Filling

• 2 tablespoons butter, melted
• .25 cup grated Parmesan Cheese
• 2 tablespoons fresh parsley (omitted)
• 6 garlic cloves, minced
• 1 teaspoon dried oregano
• 2 tablespoons chopped sun-dried tomatoes

Directions

1. In a large bowl, dissolve yeast in warm water. Add sugar, butter, salt and 1 cup flour. Beat until smooth. Stir in enough remaining flour to form a soft dough (I wound up using just shy of 2.5 cups of flour)
2. Turn out onto floured surface. Knead until smooth and elastic, about 6-8 minutes (I just chucked it all in the Kitchenaid with the dough hook and let it do the work). Place in bowl coated in non-stick cooking spray, turning once to coat top. Cover and let rise in warm place until doubled, about an hour.
3. Punch dough down. Turn out onto lightly floured surface and roll into 12x10" rectangle. Brush with melted butter. Sprinkle Parmesan, parsley, garlic, oregano and desired fillings to within 1/2 inch of edge. Roll up jelly-roll style, starting on long side. Pinch seam to seal. Cut into 12 rolls.
4. Place rolls cut side up in a baking pan covered in non-stick spray. Cover and let rise until doubled, about 30 minutes.
5. Bake at 350F for 25-30 minutes or until golden brown (mine took 25 minutes). Remove from pan to wire rack to cool.

About 110 calories per roll.

Good times!