Orange Whip Pie

     I think everybody has a few boxes of Jell-O that have been sitting in their cabinet for untold years. In my case, it was orange flavored. I don't even like orange Jell-O. I don't know how it got there. Fortunately, I found a recipe that used it! This recipe is phenomenally easy and quite tasty. I've made a few modifications, the most notable is the use of a pie crust in the pie mix. This is because I'm cack-handed and managed to bust the first crust while loading it with filling. I just dumped everything back in the bowl and crushed up the crust in it. I feel it added a nice bit of texture to the filling! I also give the option of adding some booze to make it more true to the beverage for which it's named. If you're interested here's a bonus recipe:

Orange Whip
- 4 ounces orange juice

- 1 ounce rum

- 1 ounce vodka

- 2 ounces cream

Blend with immersion blender until thick and frothy. Serve over ice in a Collins glass

     This recipe is also flexible if you don't like orange. You could easily leave out all the orange stuff and swap in cherry Jell-O and maybe use a bit of vanilla extract. Anyways, I served it and it was a hit with all three people (The Wife, The Mother-in-Law and The Spud) who tried it. As always, notes and changes are in blue.

Orange Whip Pie
adapted from Velvety Orange Gelatin Pie (which is a terrible name)
via Taste of Home Everyday Light Meals

Ingredients

• 1 package (.3 ounce orange gelatin)
• 1/2 cup boiling water
• 1 can (14 ounces) sweetened condensed milk
• 1 cup lo-fat sour cream
• 3 tablespoons fresh grated orange peel (too lazy to grate oranges. I used 2 teaspoons dried orange peel)
• 1 8-ounce carton whipped topping (you know, Cool-Whip)
• 1/4 teaspoon orange extract
• 1 nine inch graham cracker pie crust (just go and buy one. They're like a dollar)
• another 9" pie crust, or 6-8 decent sized graham crackers, crushed. 
• If you're feeling adventurous and want the true Orange Whip experience:
  1 ounce vodka
  1 ounce rum
  If you use booze, use a little less water

Directions

1. In a large bowl, dissolve gelatin in boiling water. 
2. Stir in milk, sour cream, orange peel (and the booze if you're using it)
3. Fold in whipped topping (and the crushed graham cracker if you're doing it my way. The Right way)
4. Spoon into crust. Cover and refrigerate for at least 4 hours.

Good Times!

Flaugnarde with Pears

     Every now and then I like to dabble in food that is bordering on pretentious. Not surprisingly, that food is usually French (ZING! I just lost my French fans). Usually one of the more reliable sources for pretentious food is Food & Wine Magazine. I skimmed a few issues and found this recipe for Flaugnarde. If you're curious, it's pronounced "flow-nyard," not "flawg-nahrd." My pronunciation sounds more Nordic. This is certainly not a Nordic dessert, otherwise it would feature some form of whitefish (ZING! There go my Nordic fans).  While this recipe is not particularly labor intensive, it is time intensive, taking around four hours from start to finish. It's actually worth it. The end result is very much like a Dutch Baby (the pancake, not an actual Dutch baby). As always, any notes or changes are in blue.

Flaugnarde with Pears
via Food & Wine

Ingredients

• 3 large eggs
• 3/4 cup cake flour (I use all-purpose flour when I make cakes, so I imagine it's the same as "cake flour." Don't bother explaining any difference. I already used the all-purpose)
• 1/4 cup all-purpose flour (I used "donut flour" here. I'm kidding. I still used all-purpose)
• Pinch of salt
• 1 cup warm milk
• 1 tablespoon dark rum (don't think for a minute that I didn't fix myself a cocktail while the bottle was open)
• 3 tablespoons superfine sugar
• 2 ripe medium Bartlett pears— peeled, cored and thinly sliced (no fresh pears on hand. I used 2 cups of pears I canned in bourbon syrup the season before. You can never go wrong with more booze)

Directions

1. In a medium bowl, whisk together the eggs, cake and all-purpose flours, salt and 1/4 cup of the milk until smooth. Whisk in the remaining 3/4 cup of milk, the rum and 1 1/2 tablespoons of the sugar. Cover with plastic wrap and let stand at room temperature for 3 hours (3 hours to kill and an open bottle of rum sitting right there...

   

   ...and why am I laying on the kitchen floor?

2. Preheat the oven to 450° (230C, Gasmark 8) and coat a deep 9-inch cake pan with half of the butter. Pour the batter into the pan and arrange the pear slices on top. Dot with the remaining butter and bake in the lower third of the oven for 15 minutes. Reduce the oven temperature to 400° (200C, Gasmark 6) and bake for 30 minutes longer, or until the flaugnarde is puffed and deeply golden (this actually cooked according to the time on the recipe, but your time may vary) Let cool for 2 minutes, then sprinkle (use a sifter unless you like the big clumps I ended up with) with the remaining 1 1/2 tablespoons of sugar and serve.

Good times!

Far Breton

     Every now and then it's fun to put together a recipe that really looks like it took a ton of work. This dessert from Pol Martin's Supreme Cuisine is one of those recipes. This is a really fancy looking baked custard that has never failed to impress every time I've served it. The thing is, Far Breton is super easy to make. If you have a Kitchenaid or electric mixer, it's almost embarassingly easy. I've even managed to buy a sifter so the dusting of sugar doesn't look like absolute shit anymore! As always, notes or changes are in blue.

Far Breton
via Pol Martin's Supreme Cuisine

Ingredients

• 4 large eggs
• 1/2 cup granulated sugar
• 1 cup all purpose flour
• 3 tablespoons rum
• 1/4 cup marmalade
• 1/2 cup sultana raisins (those of us that don't poop money call sultanas "golden raisins")
• 2 cups milk
• Pinch salt
• Icing sugar (I hope that confectioner's sugar is the same thing, because that's what I used)

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350F. Butter a baking dish (about 12"x8"x2") 
2. Place eggs and sugar in bowl; beat together. Add flour and salt; beat to incorporate.
3. Add rum (make sure to have a little rum yourself. You know, for quality assurance), marmalade and raisins; beat well. Pour in milk and beat to incorporate.
4. Pour batter into baking dish and bake 50-55 minutes or until golden brown. Let cool in baking dish and serve cold. 
5. Cut into squares and sprinkle with icing sugar (use some form of sifter or it will end up looking like mine. That's what happens when you just grab a fistful and throw it). Serve with maple syrup, if desired (We desired it)

Good times!

Hot Mango Flush Hot Sauce

     I've been on quite a hot sauce kick this summer. Mostly this is due to the fact that making hot sauce is the most efficient way to use up lots of garden produce in one shot. This time I decided I was going to make my own hot sauce from scratch. I know that mango is a solid accompaniment to most hot peppers, so I used jalapenos and mangoes as the base. From there I just sort of went bat-shit crazy and started adding stuff. What I ended up with elicited tremendous positive response from the The Wife and our friend Dan. This sauce starts with a straight shot of jalapeno then opens up into a finish of fruit and a bite from the rum. We put the naming rights up for a vote on my Facebook page and the hands down winner came from The Wife. She knows that my favorite band is Jethro Tull. Most of the band members are huge pepper heads and really enjoy spicy foods. They make mention of hot foods more than once in their music. She suggested naming the sauce after one of their songs: "Hot Mango Flush." I know a winner when I hear one!
As always, any notes are in blue.

Hot Mango Flush

Ingredients

• 1 ripe mango, peeled, pitted and cubed
• 12 jalapenos stemmed and seeded (or leave the seeds in if you want more heat)
• 1 medium onion, roughly chopped
• 1 cup cider vinegar
• 1/4 cup fresh squeezed lime juice
• 1/4 cup gold rum
• 1 teaspoon Ukrainian Village Seasoning from The Spice House (this seasoning is a blend of salt, garlic, onion, pepper, green onion, and red and green peppers)

Directions

1. Combine all ingredients in a large, non-reactive pan. Bring to a boil, then lower to a simmer. Simmer for about 10-12 minutes or until all the vegetables are soft. 
2. Load everything into a blender and pulse until smooth.

   

   Looks like a sneeze gone wrong. I assure you it does not taste that way.

3. If you are using right away, just put in a container and refrigerate. If you plan on long term storage, this will yield a little over one pint of sauce. Load into two half pint jars and process in a boiling water bath for 15 minutes (As always, if you're not familiar with canning, refer to the National Center for Home Food Preparation to learn how not to accidentally poison your entire family)

Good Times!

                                  

Middle Class Bartending: 8 Nights of Booze

     Normally Mondays are reserved for food recipes, but in honor of the Festival of Lights, we're doing eight drink recipes spread out over Hanukkah. I owe you recipes for yesterday and today. The first drink is a riff on the classic Zombie. I give you the closest approximation in Jewish mythology: the Dybbuk.

Dybbuk

You'll feel like this after a couple of these

Ingredients

• 1 part white rum
• 1 part dark rum
• 1 part gold rum
• 1 part MD 20/20 Tangerine Dream*
• 1 part pineapple juice
• 1/2 part 151 proof rum
• 1 part lime juice

Directions

1. Put all ingredients except 151 rum in shaker with ice
2. Shake and pour over ice in Zombie glass
3. Top with 151 rum

*Did you know that MD 20/20 is actually made by Mogen David? You do now!

     Next up (if you're still standing) is a shot that's technically more appropriate for Rosh Hashanah, but what can you do? I'm trying to come up with eight drinks here. Cut me some slack. 

Gan Eden

After a few of these there's a good chance you'll be
wandering around the garden naked, too.

Ingredients

• 1 part Evan Williams Apple Orchard
• 1 part honey whiskey (I like American Honey)

Directions

1. Combine ingredients in shot glass