Cheeseburger Jalapeno Poppers

     Year after year I can count on my garden to produce insane amounts of peppers. There's only so many peppers I can pickle or make into relish. Surplus peppers are almost always stuffed and frozen for later. Banana peppers normally end up Sriracha Stuffed, but I wanted to do something different for my jalapenos. This particular mix really does taste like a cheeseburger! I might actually use that meat mix for other recipes. I'm resourceful like that. If you go to make these, don't be a dummy like me. Remember not to touch your eyes or nostrils. Also, assembly is messy, so have paper towels on hand. I can guarantee you'll love these and they will be a hit at any party!* As always, any notes are in blue.

Cheeseburger Jalapeno Poppers
(banana pepper poppers if you're a wuss)

Ingredients

• 1 lb. ground beef
• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• 2 teaspoons dried minced onion
• 1 teaspoon garlic powder
• 1 cup shredded sharp cheddar cheese
• 1 tablespoon yellow mustard
• 2 tablespoons ketchup (or catsup if you prefer)
• around 2 dozen larger jalapeno peppers (if you're a big baby and heat is an issue, you can use banana peppers, but you won't fill as many since they tend to be a bit bigger than jalapenos. I did a mix of the two for my most recent batch since The Wife is breast feeding and I have this image of The Spud breathing fire)

Directions

1. Cut the ends off the peppers and core them out, being careful to not cut through the sides of the peppers. Make sure to remove all the seeds. Set peppers aside. 
2. Heat oil in a pan. Add beef and cook until browned. About halfway into the cooking, add the onion and garlic powder.
3. Once the meat is browned, drain off the grease and make sure the meat is broken into very small pieces. Mix in the mustard, ketchup and cheese. Stir until cheese has melted completely into the meat. You may need to keep the heat on low for this.
4. Take the meat off the heat. (BONUS FOR RHYMING)
5. Fill each pepper with the still warm meat mixture. If you let it cool, the cheese will start to set and make it very hard to get into the peppers. Use whatever method you feel is best to fill the peppers. If you've got really small fingers, you'll do fine. I generally do it Civil War style and load a small charge of meat in and then ramrod it in with a chopstick. Fill the peppers to the top.
6. If you have one of those jalapeno popper racks, this step is easy. 

   

   I'm talking about one of these guys.

   Fill a rack and put them in the oven at 375F (190C, Gasmark5) for about 20-25 minutes or until the peppers start to blister. Make sure you put a drip pan under this or you're in for a world of hurt come cleanup as these will leak grease. If you don't have this rack, or are using banana peppers, lay a sheet of foil or silpat mat on a baking sheet. Cook about the same amount of time, turning the peppers once so they blister evenly. 
7. Remove peppers from oven and let set for 5-10 minutes
8. Bonus idea: cook bacon halfway and then wrap it around the peppers, securing it with toothpicks. Finish cooking and you have bacon-cheeseburger poppers!
9. Bonus idea #2: Wrap peppers in canned biscuit dough for a greasy cheesburger popper in a bun!

Good times!

* I totally can not guarantee that.

Too Damned Easy Utilitarian Tuna Salad

     Everybody should have a couple recipes in their personal repertoires that are super easy to put together. Something that takes virtually no effort. I'm talking something you should be able to do blindfolded.

Like this, except cooking blindfolded would be an actual useful skill.

     For me, one of those recipes is tuna salad. I picked this recipe up from watching my mom make it. It's not exactly like hers. My mom makes it with a bit more Miracle Whip, so it's creamier. She also likes to put in a chopped hard-boiled egg. This particular tuna salad does very well on sandwiches and leaves plenty of room to mess around with the recipe. Add, subtract, do what you want. If you don't already have a go-to tuna salad recipe, this should be a solid template to work from. As always any notes will be in blue.

Too Damned Easy Utilitarian
Tuna Salad

Ingredients

• 1 rib celery, diced small
• 1/2 large or 1 medium sweet onion, diced
• 3 cans tuna in water, drained
• 3 tablespoons mayonnaise (or Miracle Whip, or whatever ersatz mayo substitute you enjoy)
• 1 teaspoon pickle relish
• 1/2 teaspoon yellow mustard
• 1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
• 3 dashes Worcestershire sauce
• 1 chopped hard-boiled egg, optional
• salt and pepper to taste

Directions

1. Combine all ingredients in a large bowl. Stir until all ingredients are combined (that's it. There is literally nothing more to preparing this recipe).  

Good times!