Banana Split Bread

 You can never go wrong with a nice slice of banana bread. However, sometimes you need to shake things up. As luck would have it, we found ourselves with a glut of dried cherries, crushed pineapple, and shredded coconut. It seemed perfectly reasonable to add them, along with chocolate chips into our banana bread batter. Presto! Banana Split Bread! All you have to do is slather it in whipped cream and chocolate syrup and you've destroyed all nutritional value of traditional banana bread! I'm here to help! As always, notes are in (blue). 

Ingredients

• 1/2 cup butter, softened
• 1/2 cup white sugar
• 1/4 cup brown sugar
• 1 egg
• 2 cups flour
• 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
• 2 teaspoons baking powder
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon cinnamon
• 1 cup (2 medium over-ripe) mashed bananas
• 1 tablespoon milk
• 1/2 cup dried cherries (if dried aren't available, you can get away with the same amount of drained and chopped jarred maraschino cherries)
• 1/4 cup crushed pineapple
• 1/4 cup sweetened shredded coconut
• 3/4 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
• For topping: 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon, 1 teaspoons white sugar

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350F (180C, Gasmark 4). Spray a 9x5" loaf pan with non-stick cooking spray.
2. Beat butter with sugars until light and fluffy (if you don't have a Kitchenaid or electric mixer, this will be a PITA). Add egg and beat well. 
3. In a large bowl, mix flour with baking soda, baking powder, salt, and cinnamon. In another bowl, mix banana with milk.
4. Add the cherries, pineapple, and coconut to the banana mixture
5. Add half the banana mixture to the butter mixture, mixing until smooth; add half the flour mixture and mix until smooth. Repeat process with second half of the banana and flour mixtures. 
6. Mix the chocolate chips into the batter
7. Pour batter into loaf pan. In a small bowl (just use the bowl you used for the flour. No sense in dirtying a third bowl), mix the 1/4 teaspoon cinnamon with 1 teaspoon white sugar; sprinkle over top of batter. 
8. Bake at 350F (180C, Gasmark 4) for 60-75 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted near the center comes out clean (cooking times will vary). Remove immediately to a wire rack to cool

IYKYK
Good Times!

Bourbon Fruit Cake

     Can any holiday dessert be more recognizable than the ubiquitous fruitcake? No, of course not. That was a rhetorical question. Ubiquitous means you'll find it everywhere. That was a quiz. Did you pass? I hope so, because this is going to be on the final exam. This particular recipe was adapted from a recipe for Kentucky Bourbon Cake I found on About.com's Southern Food section around five years ago. In all fairness, this is not a true fruitcake as we know it. It is not the consistency of blacktop. It is not cloyingly sweet with terrifying unidentifiable bits of detritus suspended within. The original recipe did call for candied cherries and nuts, but I quickly put an end to that nonsense. I want cake. I don't want to be losing fillings and digging things out of my molars all night. This recipe does have a lot going for it. This cake is actually fluffy. It cooks well in any number of different shapes. It's good with icing. It will, however, make your Kitchenaid howl like a damned soul while mixing it. This recipe will fill a 5 quart mixing bowl frighteningly close to the top. It's worth it. When I tell somebody I'm serving fruitcake, they flinch. Then they eat it. Complaints cease. As always, any notes and changes are in blue.

Bourbon Fruit Cake
via About.com 

Ingredients

• 8 ounces red candied cherries, halved (I omitted all the candied cherries and used a jar of drained maraschino cherries)
• 8 ounces green candied cherries, halved (omitted)
• 8 ounces seedless raisins or chopped dates (I'm married so I shouldn't have dates. I used golden raisins)
• 2 cups bourbon (I went with Jim Beam)
• 1 1/2 cups (3 sticks) butter, room temperature
• 2 cups granulated sugar
• 1 cup firmly packed light brown sugar
• 6 large eggs, separated
• 5 cups all-purpose flour
• 2 cups chopped pecans (omitted)
• 2 teaspoons ground nutmeg
• 1 teaspoon baking powder

Directions

1. In a medium bowl, combine the cherries, raisins, and bourbon; cover and let soak overnight. 
2. Preheat the oven to 275°F.
3. In a large bowl, cream the butter and sugars with an electric mixer until light and fluffy; add the egg yolks and beat well. Stir in the soaked fruit with bourbon. In a small bowl, combine 1/2 cup of the flour with the pecans; set aside. Add the remaining flour, nutmeg, and baking powder to the creamed mixture and blend well. In a bowl, beat the egg whites with an electric mixer until stiff peaks form; gently fold into the cake batter. Sprinkle the floured pecans over batter and fold in gently.
4. Grease and flour a 10-inch tube pan and line the bottom with greased waxed paper. (I have made this recipe several times and have never used a tube pan or waxed paper. I've used loaf pans, cake pans, bundt pans). Pour the batter into the pan; bake at 275° for 3 to 3 1/2 hours, or until a wooden pick or cake tester inserted in center comes out clean (this does, in fact, take every bit of 3-1/2 hours if you're using a large pan). 
5. Cool the cake. Turn cake out of the pan, peel off waxed paper (which I did not use), and store in a tightly covered container for several days (this recipe makes me think that you're not supposed to eat the cake. Just store it for several days and then shitcan it. Look, if this lasts more than seven days in your house, you must have cooked it wrong. It's awesome).

Good times!