Crab Rangoon Pizza

 I'm not sure where the inspiration came for this one. Probably from the bag of fake crab that had been in the freezer for an uncomfortable amount of time. Apparently, I'm not the first person to come up with this idea, but by the time I had figured that out, it was too late. The recipe was already scrawled on the back on an envelope. The Wife and I were both really surprised how good this was. Even The Spud condescended to take a tiny bite before going back to her crackers and cheese. I can't say the flavor was 100% authentic to a restaurant crab rangoon. You'd probably need to go a little heavier on the cream cheese. I don't recommend that, as it would make the topping way too thick. However! You could do it and just bump up the rest of the ingredients. Then forget about the flatbread as a crust, turn the topping into a dip, and use the bread for dipping. DAMN, I AM A GENIUS. I do recommend hitting it with a little hot sauce or crushed red pepper, it really brings it together. Let me know what you think, as long as it's positive. As always, notes are in blue.

Crab Rangoon Pizza
or Dip If You're So Inclined

Ingredients

• 4 ounces cream cheese, softened
• 1/2 pound artificial crab meat aka "crabuluxe," roughly chopped (don't even think about using real crab meat here. You know damned well the crab rangoon you're getting from the local place is using the fake stuff)
• 2 green onions, finely sliced
• 1 teaspoon ponzu sauce
• 1 teaspoon fish sauce 
• (in the event you don't have either of those, you could probably get away with equal amounts of soy sauce or Worcestershire sauce)
• 1 teaspoon garlic powder
• 1 cup shredded mozzarella cheese
• 1/4 cup shredded cheddar cheese
• 1 artisan flatbread, 7 ounces (ALDI has them. If you can't get to an ALDI, find something comparable at your local store)
• Optional: sriracha, or hot sauce of your choice. Even crushed red pepper would work

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 425F (220C, Gasmark 7)
2. In a bowl, put in everything except the shredded cheese and the flatbread. Mix thoroughly.
3. Place the flatbread on a baking tray. Evenly spread the cream cheese mixture over the bread.
4. Sprinkle the shredded cheeses evenly over the top of the cream cheese mixture.
5. Put in the oven for 10 minutes, or until cheese is completely melted.
6. If you're using optional hot sauce/peppers, throw it on and get to work!

Good Times!