Stuffed Cabbage Soup

     I love my close, personal friend, Rachael Ray to death. However, her cutesy language has got to stop. Like this particular recipe. She calls it a stoup. Stoup? What sort of shit is that? Is it soup or stew? It's really thick soup? Then it's a damned stew. Get over it. Just stop this sort of nonsense. Look, it's a bowl full of cabbage and beef. When you're sitting on the toilet howling in despair, you're not going to be coming up with cutesy names for what's going on in that bowl. No stoups there, my friend. With that out of the way, I'm calling this soup. It's a good, hearty soup. You will enjoy it. That is an order. As always, notes and changes are in blue. 

Stuffed Cabbage Soup
via Rachael Ray 2,4,6,8 Great Meals for Couples or Crowds
A 30-Minute Cook-Book

Ingredients

• 2 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil 
• 1-1/2 pounds ground meat loaf mix (a combination of beef, pork and veal) (veal? Sorry, I was getting the mahogany trim in my Lear jet varnished and didn't have the opportunity to pick any up. I guess we'll just have to go with all 73/27 ground beef. Just remember to drain it!)
• 1/2 teaspoon allspice
• 1/2 tablespoon ground coriander (screwed up and only used 1/2 teaspoon. No harm done)
• 2 teaspoons smoked sweet paprika (I loves me some smoked paprika. I used about a tablespoon)
• salt and pepper (why do people insist on adding salt to dishes that use canned goods? There's plenty salt going on right there. I did use a few grinds of fresh black pepper)
•  1 bay leaf (by now you should know my stance on bay leaves)
• 1 onion, chopped (We went with a sweet onion)
• 2 garlic cloves, minced
• 1 carrot, thinly sliced with a vegetable peeler into strips, then finely chopped (I think they meant "grated." That's what it sounded like to me, so that's what I did. I'm not a real chef. I can't be bothered with frippery like that)
• 1 pound Savoy cabbage, thinly sliced (I just used regular old green cabbage from my garden, because that's the sort of shit we rustic types do. Just pluck a bastard from the garden and chuck it on a plate)
• 1 28-ounce can diced tomatoes (I used two 14.5 ounce cans. Didn't drain the liquid either)
• 1 cup tomato sauce
• 1 quart chicken stock
• 1 cup white rice
• handful fresh parsley leaves, chopped
• 3 tablespoons fresh dill, finely chopped (omitted)

Directions

1. Heat a deep pot over medium-high heat. Add olive oil and meat. Brown the meat (draining grease if necessary. It was for me because I used cheap-ass meat. Ask for it by name)

   

   You can never go wrong with quality "miscellaneous service meat"

2. Season the meat with the allspice, coriander, smoked paprika, salt (if you're a fan of high blood pressure) and pepper. Then add the onion, carrots, garlic and bay leaf. Cook for 2-3 minutes or until vegetables begin to soften, then add the cabbage to wilt slightly. Add the tomatoes, tomato sauce and stock and bring to a boil. 
3. Add rice and reduce to heat to a simmer. Cook for 16-18 minutes until the rice is just tender. Stir in the parsley and dill (if using). Discard the bay leaf (see? Even Rachael Ray knows bay leaves=DEATH). 

Good times!