Black Bean Mango Lime Slaw

     It's always fun to order cole slaw at restaurants. There is no middle ground in the quality. It either tastes great, or it tastes like an old dishrag. It's either drowning in vinegar and oil, or it's buried in mayo. Only the truly adventurous pick cole slaw as a side when they eat out. Nobody ever says, "Hey, let's go to this restaurant, they have really fucking great cole slaw." I'm not even sure what convinced me to make this. We were considering fish tacos for dinner and it struck me that they would benefit from some slaw. Not just any slaw, mind you. This would be a slaw for the ages. An UberSlaw. I have to tell you, this was some damned good slaw. Thank me later. As always, notes are in blue.

Black Bean Mango Lime Slaw

Ingredients

• 1 bag (about 1 pound) cole slaw mix (feel free to shred cabbage, red cabbage and carrot if you want to make your own mix. I was feeling fairly lazy. Just make sure it's around a pound.)
• 1/2 red onion, chopped
• 1 mango, chopped
• 1 can (14.5 ounce) black beans, rinsed and drained
• 1/4 cup lime juice
• 1 tablespoon balsamic vinaigrette
•  1/2 teaspoon Ukrainian Village seasoning from Spice House (follow the link for a list of what's in it if you don't want to order it)
• optional: (this is not actually optional unless you're a big baby) 1 jalapeno, seeded and finely chopped

Directions

1. In a large bowl, mix the first four ingredients (and the jalapeno if you're a sexual tyrannosaurus, just like me).
2. In a smaller bowl, mix the last three ingredients.
3. Pour the contents of the smaller bowl into the larger bowl.
4. Toss to incorporate ingredients. Refrigerate for a couple of hours.
5. HOW EASY WAS THAT?

Good Times!

Another Sausage, Sauerkraut and Potato Recipe, but with Apples!

     Bratwurst, sauerkraut and potato dishes are as ubiquitous as man-buns on hipsters. Why does the world need another one? No clue. Good thing this one isn't mine. I pinched it from a recipe book and then made a bunch of changes. As far as I'm concerned, these dishes generally taste about the same. This one had enough changes that it was actually fairly tasty. I'm still not a big fan, but The Wife enjoyed it, so it will stay in the rotation. Mostly I avoid dishes like this because they are absolute sodium bombs. I can gain 3-4 pounds of water overnight after eating something like this. Not even joking. Just serve it with copious amounts of beer to keep the system flushed. As always, notes and changes are in blue.

Another Sausage, Sauerkraut
and Potato Recipe
but with Apples!
(via Fix-It and Forget-It Recipes for Entertaining)

Ingredients

• 5-6 bratwurst links, cut into 1" pieces (I'm always leery of bratwurst; my father referred to it as "gray meat." We went with a package of Johnsonville "Irish O'Garlic" sausages.)
• 5 medium sized potatoes, peeled and cubed (we just scrubbed them and cubed them. I generally refuse to peel a potato)
• 27 ounce can sauerkraut, rinsed and drained (we used a 24 ounce jar, just to be difficult)
• 1 medium tart apple, chopped
• 1 small onion, chopped
• 1/4 cup packed brown sugar
• 1/2 teaspoon salt (HAHAHAHAHAHA, no. You've already got kraut and a pack of sausages in there. If there's one thing this recipe does NOT need, it's more salt. 
• 1 teaspoon Old World Central Street Seasoning from Spice House (yeah yeah, it's got salt, but a ton of other good things in there!)

Directions

1. Brown bratwurst/sausages on all sides in skillet (did they mean all sides of the sausage, or brown the sausage on all sides of the skillet? I tried browning the sausages on the outside of the skillet and it made a hell of a mess)
2. Combine remaining ingredients in slow cooker. Stir in bratwurst/sausage and pan drippings (Pan drippings? Seriously. They mean grease. You cook half a dozen processed meat tubes in a pan and you get grease. Pan drippings sounds like a Satyr with venereal disease)
3. Cover. Cook on high 4-6 hours, or until potatoes and apples are tender. (It took us about 5 hours)

BONUS! Click HERE to see the video replay of the live stream we did of cooking this recipe!

Good Times!

Too Damned Easy Spicy Orange Chicken and Broccoli

     If I ever made a list of all-time favorite fast-food/carry-out dishes, Panda Express's Orange Chicken would have to be on it. It is so wrong, but so damned right. This recipe is nothing like it, apart from being called "orange chicken." Sorry. The only reason I even made this was because we couldn't figure out what to make for dinner. The Wife wanted pasta, and I just wasn't feeling pasta. Then I remembered a jar of orange marmalade lurking on the top shelf of a cabinet. I had long threatened to use it on something other than toast. Thus, this recipe was born. Possibly the goofiest thing I used in this recipe was Sunny Delight for the sauce. However, it gives you an orange citrus flavor punch that can't be denied. Feel free to use orange juice instead. You could probably even omit the sauce entirely and it would still be fine. I tried it with and without the sauce and enjoyed it both ways. Flavor-wise, I was very pleased with the result. Sweet orange flavor with a nice bit of heat. As always, notes are in blue.

Too Damned Easy
Spicy Orange Chicken
and Broccoli

Ingredients

• 1-1/2 pounds breaded chicken tenders (our local market sells bulk bags of breaded chicken tenders like you get in the cups at Wal-Mart or Casey's gas stations. Sort of like popcorn chicken style.  For a buck or so a pound, they're great. If you can't find them, find something similar. Hell, even Tyson nuggets would work.
• 3/4 cup orange marmalade
• 1 tablespoon Sriracha hot sauce
• 1 pound frozen broccoli

for sauce:

• 1/2 cup Sunny Delight (give or take, depending on how thick you'll want the sauce. Also, feel free to use orange juice if you don't like Sunny D. I thought it added a nice flavor)
• 2 tablespoons corn starch
• 1 teaspoon garlic powder
• 1/4 teaspoon black pepper
• 2 teaspoons Sriracha hot sauce
• 1/2 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes

Directions

1. Cook chicken according to directions
2. Cook broccoli however you prefer (steaming, microwave, whatever. We just boiled ours for a few minutes)
3. While steps 1 and 2 are going, in a small saucepan, combine all the ingredients for the sauce (if you want it thinner, add a little more liquid.) Cook over medium heat, whisking constantly, until the sauce is your desired consistency (I went for that slightly thick and sticky sauce like you get at Panda Express).
4. Toss hot chicken and broccoli in a large bowl with the marmalade and Sriracha.
5. Add the sauce to the chicken mix and toss again.
6. Serve over white rice.

Good Times!

Feta and Spinach Stuffed Chicken Breasts

     Can you really go wrong with the combination of feta and spinach? No, you can't. Don't even try to argue with me because I won't listen. It's a great combo and if you don't like it you are obviously defective. Basically, what I've done is make my version of a fairly ubiquitous recipe. I'm sure there are hundreds of similar recipes floating around the internet. Do you know what separates mine from theirs? Theirs suck. Theirs are not made with love. It is entirely possible that theirs were made by Baby-Eating Fascists. Use my recipe and strike a blow for global peace and understanding. If you're not part of the solution, you're obviously part of the problem. I'll stop now. The recipe is simple and delicious and I promise you'll love it. Unless you don't. And then it's your own fault for listening to me. As always, notes are in blue.

Feta and Spinach
Stuffed Chicken Breasts

Ingredients

• 4 boneless, skinless chicken breasts
• 3 ounces crumbled feta cheese
• 4 ounces room temperature cream cheese (we use Neufchatel)
• 10 ounces frozen spinach, defrosted and all water squeezed out
• 1 cup bread crumbs
• 1-1/2 teaspoons Spice House Greek Town seasoning, divided (if you can't get this spice, a mix of salt, pepper, onion powder, oregano and lemon peel. I have no idea what ratios you'd use, so good luck. Or just order the seasoning)
• 1/2 cup flour
• 1 egg, beaten

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 375F (190C, Gasmark 5).
2. Split the chicken breasts down the length, being careful to not cut completely into two pieces. You're looking to sort of butterfly the chicken.
3. Mix 1 teaspoon of the spice mix in with the flour. 
4. Dredge the chicken in first in the flour mix, then the egg, then finally the bread crumbs.Set on a baking sheet. 
5. In a small bowl, combine cream cheese, spinach, feta and remaining spice mix. Mix well until all ingredients are incorporated. 

   

   You could just take what you have here,
   add some jarred artichokes and you have a hell of an appetizer dip!

6. Fill each piece of chicken with 1/3 cup of the filling.
7. Bake for 35 minutes or until chicken juices run clear.

   

   See? Clear. We're all making it out of this meal alive.

   

   Good Times!