Sweet and Spicy Shrimp

One of the thing's I've had to learn once I had a child was how to put meals together in a hurry. While I would love frozen pizzas and cold cereal on a regular basis, it is nice to have a meal made from scratch now and then. This particular meal came together because we discovered our Dollar General sells shrimp. Yup. Seriously. So we got some and went to work. Everything else I had on hand in the house. The whole thing came together in about half an hour. The Wife claimed it a winner. I felt it needed more heat and added some extra Sriracha. Either way it's a keeper. As I'll mention below, finding the specific preserves we used may be a challenge unless you make it yourself. Just find a store bought one you like and experiment! As always, notes are in blue.

Sweet and Spicy Shrimp

Ingredients

• 1 lb. medium frozen cooked peeled shrimp
• 1 13.5 ounce can coconut milk
• 1/4 cup + 1 tablespoon pineapple sage preserves (I totally understand many of you won't have this exact thing on hand. Feel free to substitute orange preserves or something like that. Then just add the sage)
• 1/2 sweet onion, chopped
• 1 medium carrot, peeled and shredded
• 1 8 ounce can of edamame, drained
• 1 tablespoon Sriracha
• 2 tablespoon vegetable oil
• salt and pepper
• cooked white rice for serving

Directions

1. Defrost shrimp in a large bowl of water. If the tails are still on, pinch them off (put the tails in a baggie and freeze them to use to make stock for something else)
2. Heat a large saucepan or wok over medium hot heat. Add oil. 
3. Add the onions and carrots and sautee for 3-5 minutes
4. Add the edamame and cook another 2-3 minutes
5. Add the preserves and mix until preserves are totally broken down into the vegetables. 
6. Add the milk and sriracha. Mix. Salt and pepper to taste.
7. Bring to a simmer and let simmer about 7-10 minutes. Do NOT let come to a boil. Stir often.
8. Add the shrimp stir to coat. Since the shrimp is pre-cooked, you'll only need to leave them in there a minute or two to warm up.
9. Serve over a bed of rice (though would be good over noodles, too)

Good Times!

Foil Packet Lime Tilapia

Sometimes I get inspired to cook, but not to spend a bunch of time cooking. This leads to interesting choices. This particular choice let me to take an old standard of foil pack fish (basically en papillote) but make my own sauce for it. The end result was good news / bad news. The good news was the recipe worked and was fast, simple, and tasty. The bad news is that it looks like absolute hell. I don't know. Close your eyes when you eat it or something.

Foil Packet Lime Tilapia

Ingredients

• 3 tilapia filets (about 4-6 ounces each)
• 1/2 cup sour cream
• 1-1/2 teaspoons garlic powder
• 1 tablespoon Ponzu sauce
• 1-1/2 tablespoons lime juice
• 3 large chive, chopped
• 1/4 teaspoon red pepper flakes
• 1/2 pound frozen broccoli
• 3 Key Limes, quartered

Directions

1. Preheat the oven to 375F (190C, Gasmark 5)
2. In a bowl, combine the sour cream, garlic powder, Ponzu, lime juice, red pepper, and chive. Stir to incorporate all the ingredients.
3. Cut 3 sheets of aluminum foil into about 8-10" squares. Lay a piece of tilapia in each square.
4. Figure out some way to turn the foil into an envelope of some description. You can always watch the video (at the bottom of this post) to see the highly technical method I use.
5. Divide the broccoli between the 3 packets. Place the packets on a baking sheet.
6. Pour the sour cream mix evenly into each packet. Seal the packet.
7. Bake for 25 minutes. 

BONUS VIDEO CONTENT!

Good Times!

Crispy Orange Beef and Broccoli

Summer is finally here and that means I actually have some time to devote to my food pages. I decided to start off the season with something that captures summer. It has fruit and heat. It is also my third iteration of this type of recipe. The spicy orange theme of quasi-Chinese food is always a favorite in my house. This particular recipe is a cut down version of my Too Damned Easy Spicy Orange Chicken and Broccoli.  This version is actually a bit simpler.  As always, notes are in blue.

Crispy Orange Beef and Broccoli

Ingredients

• 1 pound beef stew meat, sliced thin (leave the meat a bit frozen when slicing to make things easier for you)
•  4 tablespoons vegetable oil
• Corn starch
• 1/2 pound frozen broccoli, thawed (fresh will work, too. You'll just need to chop it up into smaller pieces)
• 2 tablespoons soy sauce
• 1 cup orange marmalade
• 2 teaspoons Sriracha hot sauce (use less if you're a big baby, or more if you're a sexual powerhouse, just like me)
• 4 green onions, sliced diagonally , for garnish

Directions

1. In a large wok (or pan or whatever), heat the oil over medium high heat.
2. In a large bowl, pour in some corn starch. Dredge the beef in the corn starch so all the pieces are evenly coated.
3. Once the oil is hot, working in batches, fry the beef until crispy, about 3-5 minutes per batch. Remove each batch to a paper towel to drain excess oil.
4. When the beef is done, turn down the heat to medium and add the soy sauce. 
5. When the soy sauce begins to bubble, add the marmalade and Sriracha. Stir constantly until the sauce is completely mixed. Let it simmer for about 3 minutes.
6. Add the beef back to the pan and stir to coat.
7. Add the broccoli and stir to coat. Cook for another 4-5 minutes or until the broccoli is the consistency you like.
8. Serve over rice and garnish with the green onion.

Bonus: What booze to have with this

• The Wife recommends Redd's Cranberry Ale
• I suggest a Chardonnay in the $3-5 range. 

Good Times!

Terms I Will Not Use

Just a quick list of terms that I refuse to use

Deconstructed
This term translates loosely into "too lazy to combine the ingredients." Technically, a bag of flour, a bag of peanuts and a bag of grapes is a "Deconstructed PB&J Sandwich." Knock that pretentious stuff off. Deconstruction is what you do when you're done playing with Legos.

Now that's deconstructed

Mouthfeel
This word just feels vaguely inappropriate. Mouthfeel sounds like something that would cost $50 extra in a massage parlor. It's even worse when you consider it in your own mouth. I feel violated. "That sausage sandwich had a greasy mouthfeel." It sounds nasty. Even if you say you loved the mouthfeel you still sound like some sort of deviant.

If you have to ask, you can't afford it.

Artisan
This term just smacks of conceit.  People are just applying it everything now. Artisan cheese. Artisan bread. Artisan toothpaste. It just means you used some goofy way to prepare it. Just because you used the combined body heat of 42 naked Swiss virgins to bake your bread, it doesn't make it artisan. It makes it pretentious. You used fancy ingredients? Super. Doesn't make it artisan. Otherwise I could call my cat food "Artisan Feast."

"Hang on, the roast is almost done!"

Toothsome
This word doesn't make a bit of sense in its context. Tasty? No. Food is not toothsome.

Shelley Duvall is toothsome.

Moist
I will not apply any word to food that I can apply to my crawlspace.

Ed Sheeran saying makes it 1,000 times worse.

Drool-worthy
Whenever I hear this word used, I immediately imagine someone sitting at the table, long tendrils of saliva oozing out of their open mouth. They breathe heavily, creating wet, sucking noises you'd expect to hear in a tuberculosis ward. A puddle of drool slowly collects on their plate. See? Totally not appetizing. Honestly, anybody openly drooling at my table is going to be asked to leave.

Yup, time to go.

Too Damned Easy Sausage and Peppers

Man, oh, man does life get in the way. It has been way too long since I've updated my blog. Why? The Spud. The Job. Sinus infections. All the random stuff that stops me from making anything other than the occasional post. So my plan is to dig through all my drafts for blog posts and get them  up, even if it means I don't have all the photos. Take this recipe for instance. This sausage and pepper recipe is a regular feature in our house and yet the only photo I have is of the ingredients. I assure you that they will combine nicely and make a great entree or an exceptional topper for pasta. It's basically a 30 minute recipe and is great for a nice mid-week meal.

Too Damned Easy Sausage & Peppers

Ingredients

• 4 bell peppers, cut into half-inch strips (we used red and orange, but feel free to use green or whatever color you want)
• 1 medium yellow onion, sliced
• 1 pound Italian sausages, cased (sweet, mild, or hot depending on your taste)
• 1 24-ounce can of pasta sauce 
• 4 ounces of mushrooms, sliced (feel free to use canned, since we're keeping it simple)
• 2 cloves garlic, minced (just go ahead and use a couple tablespoons of jarred. At this point we're not really looking for Michelin Stars)
• 3 tablespoons olive oil

Directions

1. Heat olive oil in a large pan.
2. Add the sausages for 5-7 minutes, turning occasionally, until browned. Remove sausages and put them somewhere safe from marauding spouses and animals.
3. Add garlic, peppers, and onions and sautee over medium heat 3-5 minutes, or until veggies start to get tender.
4. Add mushrooms and sautee another 2 minutes or so. 
5. Slice the sausages and add them back to the pan. 
6. Pour in the pasta sauce and bring to a simmer. Simmer for 5-7 minutes.

Good Times!

Breakfast Frittata

     I have mentioned before my enduring love of the frittata. I've done a baked pasta frittata and a vegetable frittata. Somehow I just never got around to making one for breakfast. Not surprisingly, it was delicious. It's pretty hard to screw up breakfast unless you just burn the living shit out of it.

D'oh!

Not much else to say about this. It's versatile. Add other veggies, change out the sausage with bacon or ham, or just leave it out if meat's not your thing. Use different cheese. Get crazy. As always, notes are in blue.

Breakfast Frittata

Ingredients

• 6 eggs
• 1/4 cup milk
• 1 tablespoon canola oil
• 1 lb. pork breakfast sausage
• 4 small potatoes, cut into 1/2" cubes
• 1/2 large yellow onion
• 1/2 cup salsa (we used Red Cactus Sweet Heat Salsa)
• 1 cup shredded cheddar cheese
• salt and pepper

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 375F (190C, Gasmark5)
2. On the stovetop, place a cast iron skillet on medium high heat and add oil. Add potatoes. Cook for about 5-7 minutes or until potatoes start to get tender. 
3. Add onions and sausage. Mix and cook until sausage is cooked through. Drain any excess oil.
4. In a bowl, add the eggs and milk (please remember to crack open the eggs.) Add salsa seasoning to desired level. Whisk until everything is incorporated.
5. Pour egg mixture into skillet and cook on the stovetop for about 5-7 minutes. 
6. Move skillet into oven and cook for about 15 minutes, or until eggs are almost completely set.
7. Top with the shredded cheese and put back in the oven for another 5 minutes or until the cheese has completely melted and started to bubble.
8. Take out of oven and let set for a few minutes. 

Good times!

Too Damned Easy Spicy Orange Chicken

     If there is any one thing we, as a species, can agree on, one unifying truth, it is that orange chicken is the bomb-diggety. The gold standard is Panda Express. That sickly sweet, orange, cloying sauce that sticks to everything. It fills you with happiness and self loathing as you order a three item combo and then ask for orange chicken for all three items. I decided to attempt to replicate that recipe at home. I totally failed. However, what I made was still really, really good. It still had the sticky sweet consistency tinged with orange, with a little heat added from some Sriracha. This is a really quick and easy recipe if you already have pepper jelly on hand. If you don't, you're going to have to make it. Alternately, you could probably get away with using orange marmalade mixed with some Sriracha or pepper flakes if you can't bring yourself to make the jelly from scratch. Give it a try and tell me what you think! You won't hurt my feelings; I just delete negative comments anyways. :) As always, notes are in blue.

Too Damned Easy Spicy Orange Chicken

Ingredients

• 1-1/2 pounds breaded chicken tenders, cooked (have not breaded if you don't like breading or have a gluten intolerance)
• 1/2 pint pepper jelly (if you don't have access to pepper jelly, and you have the time, I recommend the recipe I use. Just click this link! Mind you, making pepper jelly from scratch renders this recipe "not too damned easy" but is still worth the effort)
• 3 tablespoons butter/margarine
• 1/4 cup water
• 1 bag (12-16 ounces) frozen broccoli, thawed
• 1 teaspoon orange zest
• 1 teaspoon orange extract
• 2 teaspoons white sesame seeds
• 1 tablespoon corn starch
• 2 tablespoons cold water
• 1 green onion, chopped
• Sriracha to taste (optional) 

Directions

1. In a large, deep pan, add water, butter, and pepper jelly. Bring to a simmer, stirring constantly. simmer until water has reduced by about half. You'll know if you're ready if you run a spatula along the bottom and it leaves a trail in the jelly. 
2. In a small cup, add the corn starch and water and mix into a slurry. Stir into the pepper jelly in the pan.
3. Add the chicken, broccoli, extract, zest and sesame seeds. Toss to ensure everything is evenly coated. (if you're using Sriracha, or some other hot sauce, you would add it here. Alternately, you could just serve it with the meal and add it to your individual serving.)
4. Serve over white rice and garnish with the green onion.

Good times!