Middle Class Bartending: Days 6-8

     Well, Hanukkah is over, and so is the holiday party I just threw. I probably should have taken pictures of the spread, but I started drinking about 2:30pm and it sort of went downhill from there. By rough estimates, my guests consumed somewhere in the area of five gallons of assorted alcohol. A good time was had by all.  So, it appears I still owe you three themed drink recipes.  One of the traditions of Hanukkah in my home was the eating of chocolate coins. Horribly crappy chocolate wrapped in gold foil. Here's an update:

Just like this, except you end up shitfaced.

Hanukkah Gelt

Ingredients

• 2 parts Godiva chocolate liquer
• 1 part Goldschlager
• Shaved chocolate

Directions

1. Shake ingredients with ice in shaker
2. Strain into martini glass
3. Garnish with shaved chocolate

     Moving on to #7, I end up digging into the Old Testament. We are bound for Canaan, the land of milk and honey.

WRONG CANAAN, DUMMY.

Canaan Special

Ingredients

• 2 parts Rumchata
• 1 part honey whiskey
• Apple wedge for garnish

Directions

1. Shake Rumchata and whiskey in shaker with ice
2. Strain into a martini glass
3. Garnish with apple wedge

     And to finish off the eight days of drinking, I figure I have done horrifying damage to my body. In honor of damage for the sake of damage, my last drink is named after a famous villainess from Jewish folklore: Lilith.

Yes, but more evil and less laugh track.

Lilith's Kiss

Ingredients

• 2 parts Berentzen Apel
• 1 part DeKuyper Hot Damn!
• Atomic Fireball candy

Directions

1. Shake Apel and Hot Damn! in shaker with ice.
2. Strain into martini glass
3. Drop Atomic Fireball in glass and give a light stir

Good times!

Middle Class Bartending: Days 4 & 5

     We are now heading into the second half of Hanukkah. It is also 12/12/12, and the Mayan Apocalypse is just around the corner. What does that mean? No clue. However, we will ponder it all with two new beverages.  The first is based on a Jewish holiday tradition. That tradition is based on where we traditionally eat on Christmas.

Jewish Christmas

Ingredients

• 1ounce Maotai Liquor
• 12 ounces Tsingtao

Directions

1. Pour Maotai into shot glass
2. Drop into mug of Tsingtao
3. Drink as a Boilermaker

     This one just struck me as a fun drink to put together. You can never go wrong this time of the year with a Fiddler on the Roof reference.

Tequila Sunrise, Sunset

 Ingredients

• 2 ounces tequila
• 2 ounces orange juice
• 2 ounces blue curacao
• 1 ounce grenadine

Directions

1. Pour tequila, orange juice, and blue curacao in that order over ice. Do not stir.
2. Pour grenadine around edge of cocktail (inside edge, don't be a dummy).
3. Garnish with orange slice

It happens every time.
Two drinks and BAM! I'm up on the  damned roof!

Good times!

Middle Class Bartending: 8 Nights of Booze

     Normally Mondays are reserved for food recipes, but in honor of the Festival of Lights, we're doing eight drink recipes spread out over Hanukkah. I owe you recipes for yesterday and today. The first drink is a riff on the classic Zombie. I give you the closest approximation in Jewish mythology: the Dybbuk.

Dybbuk

You'll feel like this after a couple of these

Ingredients

• 1 part white rum
• 1 part dark rum
• 1 part gold rum
• 1 part MD 20/20 Tangerine Dream*
• 1 part pineapple juice
• 1/2 part 151 proof rum
• 1 part lime juice

Directions

1. Put all ingredients except 151 rum in shaker with ice
2. Shake and pour over ice in Zombie glass
3. Top with 151 rum

*Did you know that MD 20/20 is actually made by Mogen David? You do now!

     Next up (if you're still standing) is a shot that's technically more appropriate for Rosh Hashanah, but what can you do? I'm trying to come up with eight drinks here. Cut me some slack. 

Gan Eden

After a few of these there's a good chance you'll be
wandering around the garden naked, too.

Ingredients

• 1 part Evan Williams Apple Orchard
• 1 part honey whiskey (I like American Honey)

Directions

1. Combine ingredients in shot glass

Middle Class Bartending: Drunk For The Holidays

     As tonight is the first night of Hanukkah, I figured it would be appropriate to celebrate with a beverage or eight. In honor of the Festival of Lights, I will get lit up. I can't promise you I'll get fershnickered each night, since I'd like to remain employed, but I will try to come up with a Hanukkah (or at the very least Jewish) themed drink for each night. I'll still only update on the regular days, so you'll see a couple of drinks at a time. The first one is a gimme. On the first night of Hanukkah, we only have the one candle (two if you count the Shamash candle). Not a lot of light. No light? That's dark. Tunkl is Yiddish for dark. Thus we have:

Tunklberry Cocktail

Ingredients

• 1 ounce Blackberry Whiskey (I prefer Bird Dog)
• 3 ounces Blackberry Manischewitz "wine"
• Lemon-lime soda
• Lemon slice
• Ice
• Rocks glass

Directions

1. Put whiskey and wine in shaker with ice; shake
2. Put a couple ice cubes into a rocks glass
3. Strain shaker into rocks glass
4. Top with lemon-lime soda
5. Garnish with lemon slice

L'chaim!

Middle Class Bartending: Pumpkin Cocktails

     The holiday season is fast approaching, and that can mean only one thing: Heavy Drinking. There is going to be a lot of interaction with all sorts of relatives and friends and booze can make that interaction go smoothly. At the very least you won't remember if it didn't. In honor of the arrival of fall, I present to you two pumpkin themed cocktails that are very popular in my home.

Pumpkin Nog

Ingredients

• 1.5 parts Vanilla Vodka
• .5 parts Pumpkin Schnapps
• 2 parts Pumpkin Liqueur
• Nutmeg (optional)

Directions

1. Pour all ingredients into a cocktail shaker with ice
2. Shake and drain into an Old Fashioned glass
3. Float a small dusting of ground nutmeg on the surface (optional)

The VanPelt*

Ingredients

• 1 part Vanilla Vodka
• 1 part Pumpkin Schnapps
• Cinnamon (optional)

Directions

1. Pour all ingredients into a cocktail shaker with ice
2. Shake and drain into a martini glass
3. Float a very small dusting of of cinnamon on the surface (optional)

*I absolutely refuse to tag the suffix "-tini" onto any cocktail. No, I can't tag it on "Martini" because then it would be "Martinitini." If you are drinking some neon drink with a slab of fruit hanging off of it, and a cutesy name and "-tini" slapped on to it, you likely belong to a demographic I do not.

Good times!

Middle aged, single and desperate? That's what I'm talking about!

Good times!

Middle Class Bartending: The Cowboy Cocktail

     Cocktails are an integral part of the dining experience. Aperitif, digestif, middle-of-the-meal-if, whatever. The bottom line is that my MCK incorporates a fairly well-stocked liquor cabinet. As I enjoy entertaining, I like to make sure there's a little something for everyone.

Even this guy.

     One of my favorite cocktails is the Cowboy Cocktail. There are several cocktails that bear this moniker, but I'm going to share my favorite iteration. Ready? It's simple as can be.

The MCK Cowboy Cocktail

• 1 part bourbon
• 1/2 part cream
• Pour over ice in rocks glass
• Stir to mix

     That's it. Want a bigger drink? Multiply the recipe and switch to a highball glass. Which bourbon? Doesn't matter. Light or heavy cream? Don't care. I've put flavored coffee creamer in before, which is actually quite good. The last one I made was Jim Beam and French Vanilla creamer. Mix and match. Have fun. As much as it seems like it would be a totally vile drink, it's quite tasty and makes an excellent after dinner drink. It pairs well with cigars, too. Give it a try this weekend and let me know what you think.

Good times!