Ultimate Peanut Butter & Jelly Zucchini Cake

Sometimes I get strange ideas in the kitchen. Like, I recently made some zucchini cookies and thought it might be a good idea to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with them. As The Wife and I were eating them, I mentioned how good they were and how hilarious it would be to make a gigantic cake version. So we did. And it was a colossal P.I.T.A., but totally worth it. There's a lot of play in this recipe. If you hate raisins, leave them out. Use dried cranberries. Throw chocolate chips in the batter. Use creamy instead of crunchy. Use apple butter instead of jelly. Throw in a layer of bologna slices (don't do that). Most importantly: GREASE THE BAKING PANS REALLY WELL OR THE CAKE WILL SELF DESTRUCT WHEN YOU GO TO REMOVE IT. If you're truly worried about the cake assembly. just use the batter to make about 5,000 cookies. (Cook at same temp, but about 10-12 minutes for cookies). Just remember the most important thing, if you hate it, I don't want to know. As always, notes are in blue.

ULTIMATE PBJ ZUCCHINI CAKE

Ingredients

• 2 eggs, beaten
• 1/2 cup vegetable oil
• 1/2 cup applesauce
• 1 cup sugar
• 1 cup brown sugar
• 2 cups flour
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
• 1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
• 2-1/2 cups rolled oats
• 2 cups grated zucchini
• 1 cup raisins
• 1 cup crunchy peanut butter
• 1/2 pint jelly of your choice (we used a homemade cinnamon apple. Obviously, don't use KY or petroleum)
• Frosting or icing (optional, but at this point, why not?)

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 375F (190C, Gasmark 5)
2. In a large bowl, combine eggs, oil, applesauce, and the sugars. 
3. In another large bowl, combine the baking soda, salt and spices, and oats.
4. Dump the bowl of dry ingredients into the bowl of the wet and mix to combine. (I hope you've got some form of electric mixer or highly muscular arms, because you're in for some work.) 
5. Add the zucchini and raisins and keep mixing.
6. Grease two 9"x13" baking dishes.
   
7. Divide the batter evenly between the two dishes.
8. Bake at 375 F for 30 minutes. If you have the baking dishes on two different racks, rotate the racks at 15 minutes. After 30 minutes, if a toothpick inserted into the cake comes out clean, you're done. If not, rotate the pans and give it another 5 minutes, repeating until finally done.
9. Remove from oven and let cool for about 15 minutes in the pans.
10. Take a knife or spatula and run it around the edge of each cake to loosen it.
11. BONUS FUN ROUND. You have a couple of options here. If you have a big enough spatula, you can attempt to take the entire cake out at once and transfer it to a wire rack to cool at bit.
    If you lack a steady hand or the equipment to remove the cakes all at once, do this:
    Take a wire cooling rack (you'll need two) and put it over the top of one of the baking pans. Flip it over and pray to the cosmic force of your choice that the cake drops out intact. Do the same with the other cake.
12. THIS STEP IS TOTALLY OPTIONAL AND COSMETIC. (If  you managed to slide your cakes out of the pan without flipping them, congratulations, move to step 13. If you flipped them to get them out and you're a stickler for appearance, you have some extra work and will keep going with this step). Using the same method, flip the cakes back over so it looks like it did in the baking dish. (Ideally, you want the rough top side facing up)

    

    This is what I'm talking about. 
    Ideally, you want both cakes arranged like this.

    
    
13. Take the peanut butter and spread half of it on each cake. It helps if the peanut butter is room temperature, for easier spreading.
14. Spread the jelly on ONE of the cakes. 

    

    Get ready, because the next step is stressful.

    
    
15. Flip the cake with just the peanut butter over on top of the other cake. Now you have the following stack: Cake bottom, layer of peanut butter, layer of jelly, layer of peanut butter, top cake layer.

    

    Thanks to the steady hands of The Wife, 
    this occurred with no screaming other than those of triumph.

    
    
16. GET THE CAKE INTO THE FRIDGE RIGHT THE HELL NOW. If the cakes are even a little bit warm, the peanut butter and jelly will start to break down and leak out. Refrigerate for at least an hour.
17. Once the filling is set, you have the option to ice it. We used some orange icing we had leftover from another recipe. Frosting/Icing this behemoth might be gilding the lily at this point, but you've come this far. Go big or go home.

NOW I AM BECOME DEATH, THE DESTROYER OF WORLDS.
Good Times!

Pepper Jelly

At the end of any growing season, we usually end up with tons of produce we are desperate to find a use for. That's when it's time to have fun. A few years ago we found this recipe online for pepper jelly and it has become a staple in our pantry. Sadly, it's been so long that I have no idea where I found this. If anybody can tell me, I'll gladly give credit where credit is due. This is a great recipe. Even with hot peppers it is still nice and sweet. We've used it on every thing from toast to pork roast. It makes a great glaze. It's a bit labor intensive, but totally worth the effort. Give it a try. As always, notes are in blue.

Pepper Jelly

Ingredients

• 2-1/2 cups finely chopped red bell peppers
• 1-1/4 cups finely chopped green bell peppers
• 1/4 cups finely chopped jalapeno peppers (other peppers can be substituted depending on whether or not you want to bring the heat. Go banana pepper to keep it sweet, swap in a ghost pepper to really tear shit up)
• 1 cup apple cider vinegar
• 1 (1.75 ounce) package powdered pectin
• 5 cups white sugar

Directions

1. Get yourself 6 sterilized half pint jars. Just chuck them in the boiling water canner while you're working and all will be good.
2. Place  peppers in a large, nonreactive saucepan over high heat. Mix in vinegar and fruit pectin. Stirring constantly, bring mixture to a full rolling boil. Quickly stir in sugar. Return to full rolling boil, and boil exactly 2 minutes, stirring constantly. Remove from heat, and skim off any foam (when it says 2 minutes it MEANS 2 minutes. I've ended up totally ruining jellies by screwing up the timing. Also, don't blow off the part where you skim the foam. This shit's an exact science, and you'll likely end up with syrup instead of jelly if it goes wrong)
3. Quickly ladle jelly into sterile jars, filling to within 1/4 inch of the tops. Cover with flat lids, and screw on bands tightly.   
4. Process in a boiling water canner for 5 minutes. Set on a rack to cool and await the satisfying clunk noise when the can seals. As always, check with the National Center For Home Food Preservation to make sure you don't accidentally kill anyone.

Good Times!

Peanut Butter & Jelly Muffins

     Who doesn't love peanut butter and jelly? I suppose people with severe peanut allergies, so if you're one of those people, you might as well move along. I had been considering this recipe for some time, but kept putting it off because I never had the jelly component on hand. Naturally, I bought grape jelly when the title of the recipe called for "strawberry spreadable fruit," which is clearly not the same thing. Turns out I also didn't have crunchy peanut butter, but I feel that's for the best. I think that would have added an odd texture. In the end, I went ahead with the jelly, and as you can see, it leaked a bit and made strange colored crevasses in the muffins. Despite the odd looks, the muffins are damned tasty. I'm calling them a win and will make them again. As always, any notes or changes are in blue.

Peanut Butter & Jelly Muffins
via Taste of Home Everyday Light Meals

Ingredients

• 2 cups all-purpose flour
• 2 teaspoons baking powder
• 3/4 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 2 eggs
• 3/4 cup apple juice concentrate (none on hand. I used apple juice from concentrate, which I feel is certainly close enough)
• 1/2 cup reduced fat chunky peanut butter (I only had smooth on hand, so I went with that)
• 1/4 cup fat-free milk (I used 2%, same as always)
• 3 tablespoons butter, melted
• 1/3 cup 100% strawberry spreadable fruit (grape jelly is almost exactly the same thing, so I used grape jelly. Plus, the recipe specifically says jelly, not spreadable fruit)

Directions

1. In a large bowl, combine the flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt. Combine the eggs, apple juice concentrate, peanut butter, milk and butter; stir into dry ingredients just until moistened (it's going to take a bit of work to get the peanut butter to completely incorporate into the batter. I had to run mine in the Kitchenaid until everything was evenly distributed)
2. Coat 12 muffin cups with nonstick cooking spray. Spoon half of the batter into cups (somebody at Taste of Home needs to work on their sentence structure. This makes is sound like I should fill all the cups, using half the batter. What they mean is "fill each muffin cup halfway with batter. You're welcome. I consider it my civic responsibility to prevent people from making schmucks of themselves). Spoon about 1-1/4 teaspoons spreadable fruit into the center of each muffin (if you use grape jelly it will be about 1 teaspoon per muffin. Go figure that one out); top with remaining batter.
3. Bake at 350F (180C, Gasmark 4) for 15-20 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean (these took 20 minutes, and if you manage to poke the toothpick through the jelly/fruit spread, there's no chance it will come out clean. Aim for the actual muffin part. Also, if you use grape jelly, it's going to leak out a bit and may give your muffins some exciting coloration). Cool for 5 minutes before removing to a wire rack to cool completely. 

Good times!