Peanut Butter Gochujang Chicken Noodle Soup

 I'm not entirely sure what inspired this particular recipe, other than the need to use up some leftover chicken. The day was cold and rainy, so soup seemed the way to go. Everything sort of fell in to place from there. We've done peanut soups before and really like them, so I figured I would go with that theme. We had a tub of gochujang paste on hand, so it seemed logical to add some. The rest is history. This recipe comes together in no time and all and is easily made vegetarian by leaving out the chicken (The Wife wisely suggested using tofu cubes instead) and using vegetable stock instead of chicken. In the end, it is warm and filling soup perfect for the cold weather. Anyway, feel free to give it a try and let me know what you think. Unless you don't like it and then please don't contact me. As always, notes are in blue.

Peanut Butter Gochujang
Chicken Noodle Soup

Ingredients

• 32 ounces chicken stock
• 32 ounces water
• 1/3 cup peanut butter (creamy or chunky depending on what you like)
• 2 tablespoons gochujang paste
• 2 cups pre cooked rotisserie chicken, shredded
• 1/2 teaspoon MSG  (if you're one of those people still convinced that MSG is bad, just use salt)
• 1 teaspoon dried cilantro (if you're one of those people still convinced that cilantro tastes like soap, just use basil)
• 1 lb. angel hair pasta
• lime wedges and/or peanuts for garnish

Directions

1. In a large pot, add stock and water. Bring to a low boil.
2. Stir in peanut butter, gochujang, and MSG. Stir until peanut butter and gochujang are completely incorporated.
3. Add chicken and pasta and boil for 4 minutes.
4. Remove from heat and stir in cilantro.
5. Serve with peanuts and lime wedges

Ultimate Peanut Butter & Jelly Zucchini Cake

Sometimes I get strange ideas in the kitchen. Like, I recently made some zucchini cookies and thought it might be a good idea to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with them. As The Wife and I were eating them, I mentioned how good they were and how hilarious it would be to make a gigantic cake version. So we did. And it was a colossal P.I.T.A., but totally worth it. There's a lot of play in this recipe. If you hate raisins, leave them out. Use dried cranberries. Throw chocolate chips in the batter. Use creamy instead of crunchy. Use apple butter instead of jelly. Throw in a layer of bologna slices (don't do that). Most importantly: GREASE THE BAKING PANS REALLY WELL OR THE CAKE WILL SELF DESTRUCT WHEN YOU GO TO REMOVE IT. If you're truly worried about the cake assembly. just use the batter to make about 5,000 cookies. (Cook at same temp, but about 10-12 minutes for cookies). Just remember the most important thing, if you hate it, I don't want to know. As always, notes are in blue.

ULTIMATE PBJ ZUCCHINI CAKE

Ingredients

• 2 eggs, beaten
• 1/2 cup vegetable oil
• 1/2 cup applesauce
• 1 cup sugar
• 1 cup brown sugar
• 2 cups flour
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon
• 1/4 teaspoon nutmeg
• 2-1/2 cups rolled oats
• 2 cups grated zucchini
• 1 cup raisins
• 1 cup crunchy peanut butter
• 1/2 pint jelly of your choice (we used a homemade cinnamon apple. Obviously, don't use KY or petroleum)
• Frosting or icing (optional, but at this point, why not?)

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 375F (190C, Gasmark 5)
2. In a large bowl, combine eggs, oil, applesauce, and the sugars. 
3. In another large bowl, combine the baking soda, salt and spices, and oats.
4. Dump the bowl of dry ingredients into the bowl of the wet and mix to combine. (I hope you've got some form of electric mixer or highly muscular arms, because you're in for some work.) 
5. Add the zucchini and raisins and keep mixing.
6. Grease two 9"x13" baking dishes.
   
7. Divide the batter evenly between the two dishes.
8. Bake at 375 F for 30 minutes. If you have the baking dishes on two different racks, rotate the racks at 15 minutes. After 30 minutes, if a toothpick inserted into the cake comes out clean, you're done. If not, rotate the pans and give it another 5 minutes, repeating until finally done.
9. Remove from oven and let cool for about 15 minutes in the pans.
10. Take a knife or spatula and run it around the edge of each cake to loosen it.
11. BONUS FUN ROUND. You have a couple of options here. If you have a big enough spatula, you can attempt to take the entire cake out at once and transfer it to a wire rack to cool at bit.
    If you lack a steady hand or the equipment to remove the cakes all at once, do this:
    Take a wire cooling rack (you'll need two) and put it over the top of one of the baking pans. Flip it over and pray to the cosmic force of your choice that the cake drops out intact. Do the same with the other cake.
12. THIS STEP IS TOTALLY OPTIONAL AND COSMETIC. (If  you managed to slide your cakes out of the pan without flipping them, congratulations, move to step 13. If you flipped them to get them out and you're a stickler for appearance, you have some extra work and will keep going with this step). Using the same method, flip the cakes back over so it looks like it did in the baking dish. (Ideally, you want the rough top side facing up)

    

    This is what I'm talking about. 
    Ideally, you want both cakes arranged like this.

    
    
13. Take the peanut butter and spread half of it on each cake. It helps if the peanut butter is room temperature, for easier spreading.
14. Spread the jelly on ONE of the cakes. 

    

    Get ready, because the next step is stressful.

    
    
15. Flip the cake with just the peanut butter over on top of the other cake. Now you have the following stack: Cake bottom, layer of peanut butter, layer of jelly, layer of peanut butter, top cake layer.

    

    Thanks to the steady hands of The Wife, 
    this occurred with no screaming other than those of triumph.

    
    
16. GET THE CAKE INTO THE FRIDGE RIGHT THE HELL NOW. If the cakes are even a little bit warm, the peanut butter and jelly will start to break down and leak out. Refrigerate for at least an hour.
17. Once the filling is set, you have the option to ice it. We used some orange icing we had leftover from another recipe. Frosting/Icing this behemoth might be gilding the lily at this point, but you've come this far. Go big or go home.

NOW I AM BECOME DEATH, THE DESTROYER OF WORLDS.
Good Times!

Homebound Day #15: Tempers Flare

We are into the third week of shelter-in-place and we got the news from the Governor: the order to hunker down is extended through the end of April. At this point it is unlikely we will be able to avoid going to the store for that long. At least not as far as milk goes. Supplies are doing well. However, we have noticed that tempers are a little shorter than normal. Fortunately, we have lots of good food to keep our spirits up, or there'd probably be casualties by now. We've been having quite the exciting time with food. We decided to do a Thanksgiving in March.

The upshot is this Thanksgiving was relatively quiet due to the lack of visiting relatives.

We've also made sure to make a few kid friendly meals. You'd think any 4 year old would be happy to have cheesy pigs in a blanket and French fries!

You'd be wrong.

We've also been making sure to bake something fun at least once a week. Last week we made two loaves of colored bread. This week it was something sweet: chocolate chip peanut butter bars.

These should last about 18 minutes.

We had a fair amount of leftovers from our Thanksgiving. Not surprisingly, an 8-1/2 pound turkey breast was a bit too much for two adults and a four-year-old. I had a brilliant idea and made it into a tasty turkey pot pie that my daughter would not eat.

See her turn it down in HD!

So there we have it. We're at home for another month. Hilariously, we just got the coupon book for our local grocery. I figure we'll wait another week so anyone who has to get in there right at the first of the month can do so. Then I'll get in there, grab some necessities, and get the hell out before I catch something.

Stay Safe!

Peanut Butter Cap'N Crunch Cookies

     The other day I had a weird existential moment. The dog was barking, The Spud was screaming and I was slowly losing my mind. For whatever reason, the sanest thing to do was not head for the liquor cabinet, but to the kitchen. With total mindlessness, I just started baking cookies. No clue why. I didn't even want cookies. It just seemed like the right thing to do. It was like an out of body experience. I was barely aware of what I was doing. I grabbed a cookbook to check how much flour and sugar I'd need and then I went to work.  I started to get strange looks from The Wife when I grabbed a box of Cap'n Crunch. The end result of this transcendental experience was a batch of really tasty peanut butter cookies with a sweet crunch. Totally worth it. As always, notes are in blue.

Ingredients

• 1 cup creamy peanut butter
• 1/4 cup vegetable oil
• 3/4 cup packed brown sugar
• 1/4 cup white sugar
• 2 eggs
• 1 tablespoon vanilla extract
• 1 cup all-purpose flour
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1 cup Cap'n Crunch cereal (Peanut Butter Crunch would really step it up. I'd stay away from Crunch Berries for this recipe, though)

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350F (180C, Gasmark4)
2. In a mixing bowl, combine peanut butter and oil. Add sugars and mix.
3. Add eggs and vanilla. Mix some more.
4. Add flour, baking powder and salt. Mix some more.
5. Add Cap'n Crunch. Mix until incorporated.
6. On 2 two ungreased baking sheets (if you have a silpat mat, I'd recommend using it here. If these cookies stick at all, you're going to be screwed), drop tablespoons of the dough about 2" apart on the sheets. (The dough will be oily. Don't panic, that's normal.)
7. Bake for 10-12 minutes or until the tops look like they're cracking. Cool for a couple of minutes before transferring to a wire rack. (BE SUPER CAREFUL WHEN TRANSFERRING THE COOKIES! Until they finish cooling, they are unstable at a molecular level. Not even joking. Rough handling will cause them to totally fall apart. Once they're totally cooled, everything will set and solid.)

Good times!

Hearty Slow Cooker Breakfast Sludge

     Before we go any further, let me make one thing very clear: this recipe looks like shit. Literally. It looks like something scraped out of a diaper. At second glance it also resembles fake vomit. Possibly real vomit. However, it smells wonderful and tastes great. On a cold day, you can't go wrong with a steaming bowl of this stuff. It's hearty and warm and filling. Maybe just close your eyes while you eat it.

Hearty Slow Cooker
Breakfast Sludge

Ingredients

• 3 cups oats, uncooked
• 1/4 cup powdered sugar
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 3 very ripe bananas, sliced
• 1/4 cup raisins
• 1/4 cup peanut butter (chunky or creamy as you desire. We used creamy)
• 21 ounce can banana cream pie filling
• 6 cups water
• 1 teaspoon almond extract

Directions

1. Coat a slow cooker (at least 2 quart) with nonstick cooking spray (coat the inside of the slow cooker. The bowl specifically. Don't spray all over the outside. Unless you want to)
2. Chuck all the ingredients in there and stir it up.
3. Cover and cook on LOW for 6-8 hours (just stop cooking when it's at a consistency you like. Make sure to stir it every few hours to make sure it doesn't fuse to the pot).

Good times!

Yogurt Corn Bread with Peanut Butter Filling

     There is absolutely no reason to buy corn bread mix in a box. It's really not hard to make. It's even easier when you have a good recipe to work with. This is one of those recipes. I can say that because I stole it from someone who knew what they were doing. I especially like the idea of filling the corn bread with peanut butter. With a smear of jelly, you've got an instant breakfast. I may try filling these with savory stuff like ham, eggs and cheese for self contained breakfasts! As always, notes and changes are in blue.

Yogurt Corn Bread
with Peanut Butter Filling
adapted from The Frugal Gourmet Cooks American

Ingredients

• 3/4 cup flour
• 1-1/2 cups cornmeal
• 4 teaspoons baking powder
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 2 eggs, beaten
• 1-1/4 cups milk (Amazingly, we were totally out of milk. We went with 1-1/2 cups plain yogurt instead)
• 1/4 cup vegetable oil
• Peanut butter, crunchy or smooth depending on what you like. (if you just want plain cornbread, just leave this out)

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 400F (200C, Gasmark 6)
2. Place all the dry ingredients in a mixing bowl and mix with an electric mixer. Add the liquids and mix until smooth.
3. At this point, if you want plain old corn bread/muffins, just pour what you have into a greased 8x12" pan or put about 3 tablespoons of batter in individual muffin tins and cook for 30 minutes. 
4. If you wanted the peanut butter filling, grease a muffin pan and put 1 tablespoon of batter in the bottom of each tin (this may not fill every pan. We only were able to fill 10 of the 12 slots on our muffin pan). Place 1 tablespoon of peanut butter in the tin on the batter. Cover with another 2 tablespoons of batter. 
5. Cook for 30 minutes (baking times may vary)

Good times!

Too Damned Easy Elvis Pie

     Sometimes I get a bit reckless in the kitchen and just start throwing things together. This pie is a prime example. We had a jar of marshmallow cream sitting in the cabinet that had mocked us for far too long. I took it and a couple other ingredients and came up with a damned fine dessert. It got its name due to the fact that it features peanut butter and bananas (sort of. It's banana cream. I would have certainly added banana slices if I had any on hand). I figure you can't go wrong with an Elvis themed dessert.

Too Damned Easy
Elvis Pie

Ingredients

• 1 9" graham cracker pie crust
• 1 can (21 ounce) banana creme pie filling (a lot of people have expressed difficulty in locating this. If you can't find it, make a batch of instant vanilla pudding and cut up a banana or two into it)
• 4 tablespoons marshmallow cream (marshmallow fluff, whatever it is you call it)
• 4 tablespoons creamy peanut butter (make sure the peanut butter is at room temperature or you're going to have a hell of a time trying to spread it over the marshmallow)
• 1/2 cup chocolate chips

Directions

1. Spread a layer of marshmallow cream on the bottom of the pie crust (not the underside or you're in for a lot of disappointment). You're looking for a layer a little over 1/8" thick.
2. Spread a layer of peanut butter over the marshmallow. It should be the same thickness as the marshmallow layer.
3. Dump the can of banana cream pie filling on top and spread it evenly over the peanut butter layer.
4. Sprinkle the chocolate chips over the top.
5. Set in the freezer for about an hour for it to set up.

Yes, I know this is Bruce Campbell, but he makes an excellent Elvis.
Good times!

Peanut Butter & Jelly Muffins

     Who doesn't love peanut butter and jelly? I suppose people with severe peanut allergies, so if you're one of those people, you might as well move along. I had been considering this recipe for some time, but kept putting it off because I never had the jelly component on hand. Naturally, I bought grape jelly when the title of the recipe called for "strawberry spreadable fruit," which is clearly not the same thing. Turns out I also didn't have crunchy peanut butter, but I feel that's for the best. I think that would have added an odd texture. In the end, I went ahead with the jelly, and as you can see, it leaked a bit and made strange colored crevasses in the muffins. Despite the odd looks, the muffins are damned tasty. I'm calling them a win and will make them again. As always, any notes or changes are in blue.

Peanut Butter & Jelly Muffins
via Taste of Home Everyday Light Meals

Ingredients

• 2 cups all-purpose flour
• 2 teaspoons baking powder
• 3/4 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 2 eggs
• 3/4 cup apple juice concentrate (none on hand. I used apple juice from concentrate, which I feel is certainly close enough)
• 1/2 cup reduced fat chunky peanut butter (I only had smooth on hand, so I went with that)
• 1/4 cup fat-free milk (I used 2%, same as always)
• 3 tablespoons butter, melted
• 1/3 cup 100% strawberry spreadable fruit (grape jelly is almost exactly the same thing, so I used grape jelly. Plus, the recipe specifically says jelly, not spreadable fruit)

Directions

1. In a large bowl, combine the flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt. Combine the eggs, apple juice concentrate, peanut butter, milk and butter; stir into dry ingredients just until moistened (it's going to take a bit of work to get the peanut butter to completely incorporate into the batter. I had to run mine in the Kitchenaid until everything was evenly distributed)
2. Coat 12 muffin cups with nonstick cooking spray. Spoon half of the batter into cups (somebody at Taste of Home needs to work on their sentence structure. This makes is sound like I should fill all the cups, using half the batter. What they mean is "fill each muffin cup halfway with batter. You're welcome. I consider it my civic responsibility to prevent people from making schmucks of themselves). Spoon about 1-1/4 teaspoons spreadable fruit into the center of each muffin (if you use grape jelly it will be about 1 teaspoon per muffin. Go figure that one out); top with remaining batter.
3. Bake at 350F (180C, Gasmark 4) for 15-20 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean (these took 20 minutes, and if you manage to poke the toothpick through the jelly/fruit spread, there's no chance it will come out clean. Aim for the actual muffin part. Also, if you use grape jelly, it's going to leak out a bit and may give your muffins some exciting coloration). Cool for 5 minutes before removing to a wire rack to cool completely. 

Good times!

Chocolate Peanut Butter Cookies

     I don't know why I don't bake cookies more often. Actually, I know exactly why: the wife and I tend to stand in the kitchen and stuff them mindlessly into our faces until we swell up like ticks. Fortunately, I've got my trusty copy of Taste of Home Everyday Light Meals to hook me up with 90 calorie cookies! If you like the chocolate/peanut butter combo, these are right up your alley. The peanut butter flavor really comes through. If you wanted to really do peanut butter overload, you could always swap in peanut butter chips! As always, notes and changes are in blue.

Chocolate Peanut Butter Cookies
via Taste of Home Everyday Light Meals

Ingredients

• 1 cup chunky peanut butter (I used creamy. Fair warning, if you use natural peanut butter, the batter will be extremely oily. This is nothing to worry about; the cookies will come out fine)
• 1/4 cup canola oil (I used corn oil)
• 3/4 cup packed brown sugar
• 1/2 cup white sugar
• 2 eggs
• 1 tablespoon vanilla extract
• 1 cup all-purpose flour
• 1/3 cup baking cocoa
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 cup miniature chocolate chips (I used full sized and learned why I shouldn't. The cookies are pretty small. Full sized chips tend to just fall out when you're scooping the dough. Either make the cookies bigger or use the miniature chips).

Directions

1. In a large mixing bowl, combine peanut butter and oil. Add brown sugar and white sugar; mix well. Add vanilla an eggs; mix well (I did all the mixing in the Kitchenaid).
2. In  another bowl, combine flour, cocoa, baking soda and salt. Add to peanut butter mixture; mix until blended. Dough will be sticky (as I said, my dough was more oily than sticky). Stir in chocolate chips.
3. Drop by rounded teaspoons 2 inches apart on ungreased baking sheets. Flatten slightly with a glass (I have made these cookies three times and only now have I noticed the part with the glass. Obviously, you can just skip that. No need to dirty a glass unless it's to put booze in it).
4. Bake at 350F (180C, Gasmark 4) for 8-10 minutes or until set and tops are cracked (if you want a softer cookie, take them out at 8 minutes. If you prefer a crunchy cookie, go the full 10) Cool for 2 minutes before removing to wire racks (no fooling with this part. When the cookies come out, it's going to look like they're not done. They will be notably soft. They will firm up during the cooling).

Good times!

Slow Cooker Thai-Style Peanut Chicken

     I'm on the fence about peanut butter based recipes. I do enjoy a good satay, but too much peanut butter can overwhelm me and make me run for some white bread and grape jelly. This recipe works around that by using an alarming amount of teriyaki sauce and red pepper flakes. This has, as the chefs would say, umami out the asshole. We swapped in chicken for the pork and were very happy with the results. As always, changes and notes are in blue.

Slow Cooker Thai-Style Peanut Chicken
via Taste of Home Slow Cooker

Ingredients

• 2 pounds boneless pork loin chops (we decided to use an equal amount of chicken)
• 1/4 cup teriyaki sauce
• 2 tablespoons rice vinegar
• 1 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes
• 1 teaspoon minced garlic
• 1 tablespoon cornstarch
• 1/4 cup cold water
• 1/4 cup creamy peanut butter
• Hot cooked rice
• 1/2 cup chopped green onions
• 1/2 cup dry roasted peanuts (omitted)
• Lime juice, optional

Directions

1. Place meat in a 3 quart slow cooker (we used a 2.5 quart cooker. NOW WHAT!). In a small bowl, combine the teriyaki sauce, vinegar, pepper flakes and garlic; pour over meat. Cover and cook on LOW for 6 hours or until meat is tender.
2. Remove meat and cut into bite-sized pieces; keep warm (the meat, not you. I suppose you could put on a sweater if you're chilly). Skim fat from cooking juices, transfer juices to a small saucepan. Bring liquid to a boil. 
3. Combine cornstarch and water and stir until smooth. Gradually stir into the pan. Bring to a boil; cook and stir for 2 minutes or until thickened. Stir in peanut butter and meat. 
4. Serve with rice. Sprinkle with onions and peanuts (if you really want them). Drizzle with lime juice if desired.

Tie Peanuts...Get it?
Good times!