Terms I Can't Bring Myself To Use

Sammie
As much as I like Rachel Ray, I just can't bring myself to say "sammie" in place of "sandwich." I don't call them "sammiches," so it feels wrong. It's a bit too cutesy for me. Rachael Ray has a proclivity for needless frippery in regards to culinary nomenclature. See what I did there? I could have just said she uses cutesy language for her food. Instead I needlessly changed out the language. A sandwich doesn't need a nickname. It needs a side of potato chips and a pickle spear.  Also, I associate the word with something entirely different.

Probably not what Rachael Ray had in mind.

Slider
"Slider" is a very specific term to me. It does not refer to any small sandwich. To me, "slider" refers to a hamburger from White Castle. I feel like my belief system is being challenged when I see any fanciful small sandwich called a slider. Sliders are called such for good reasons. They slide out of the box. They slide down your throat. They slide out of...well, you get the idea. If you have a small hamburger or sandwich and you didn't get it from a White Castle, it's not a slider. It's just a small hamburger or sandwich.

Harold and Kumar enjoying sliders (or slyders), aka White Castle hamburgers.

Spatchcock
The problem here is that, according to my wife, I have the maturity of a 12 year old. So when a recipe calls for spatchcock, or someone tells me that they had some spatchcock last night, I have a hard time not reacting inappropriately.

I'll just keep calling it "butterflied" until I can grow up.

Fondant
 I know fondant is all the rage with cakes and cupcakes and the like. There is no denying the end result of skilled fondant use is truly amazing.

Then you get something like this.

However, fondant does not look appetizing to me in any form. It reminds me of paraffin, which I try to avoid using in my cooking if at all possible.  Nor does it even sound appetizing. Fondant sounds like something you'd use in masonry.

Well, that's enough gentle fun for today. Good times!

Comfort Foods

     Earlier, on Facebook, I mentioned Zombieland. In the movie, the character Tallahassee spends a lot of time looking for Twinkies. Those golden delicious cakes are his last connection to a better time. In the end, they bring him comfort and solace.

Oh, this Twinkie thing, it ain't over yet

     This brought up an interesting discussion of comfort foods. Sometimes you just need access to that little something that can get you through the day. It could be you've moved somewhere that doesn't have what you're looking for. It could be a zombie apocalypse. In any case, I asked myself what foods could make it all tolerable.

Lou Malnati's Sausage Pizza
If you're not from the greater Chicagoland area, you probably don't know what I'm talking about. This is what pizza is supposed to be. Not the floppy New York slice. Not the St. Louis  ketchup sauce pizza. I'm talking thick buttery crust, thick cheese, chunky roasted tomatoes and a slab of sausage the size of a manhole cover. There are no Lou Malnati's where we live, so we have to have them shipped in dry ice. Totally worth it.

White Castle
You either get White Castle, or you don't. There's no middle ground on sliders. The entire world could be crumbling around me and as long as I had a Crave Case, I'd be fine.

Peanut Butter M&M's
When it comes to candy, this trumps them all for me. This is the perfect blend of chocolate and peanut butter, and the shell prevents chocolate from melting on your hands. I could eat these until my pancreas shut off.

Jim Beam
All right, technically this isn't a food. It is, however, comforting. Given enough Beam, any situation is tolerable.

Good times!