Steak Chimichangas

Bit of history: my dad and I used to go to this Mexican restaurant, Las Palmas, where we would always order the same thing. "Number 11 with steak." It was rice and beans, a chili relleno, steak burrito, and steak chimichanga. That steak chimichanga was always what I would save for last. It was absolutely amazing. I decided I was going to try my hand at replicating it. While I didn't exactly nail it, I did make a damn good steak chimichanga that even Deadpool would approve of. They were actually super easy to make and there's room for customization. You could easily switch with chicken, pork, or ground beef. Give it a try. Or don't. More for me. As always, notes are in blue.

Steak Chimichangas (makes 4)

Ingredients

• 1-1/2 pound top sirloin, cut into cubes (feel free to use stew meat if you want)
• 1 onion, chopped
• 1 cup refried beans (we just used canned refried beans from Aldi)
• 1 can 8oz. tomato sauce
• 1 chipotle pepper in adobo sauce, chopped (again, right from the can)
• 1 teaspoon adobo seasoning
• 4 large (10") flour tortillas
• vegetable oil for frying
• shredded cheese of your choice (optional)

Directions

1. Heat a pan over medium high heat. Add a tablespoon of vegetable oil. Add the cubed meat, onion and adobo seasoning. Cook for 3-5 minutes, or until meat is browned and onions are starting to get soft. Remove from heat.
2. In a bowl, add refried beans, tomato sauce, and chipotle pepper. Mix ingredients until they are all incorporated. 
3. Take 1/2 of the sauce and add it to the meat. Mix until meat is evenly coated.
4. In a deep cast iron pan (if you don't have cast iron, find something you can fry in) heat about 2" of vegetable oil. 
5. Fun part, take 1/4 of the meat mixture and put it in the center of the tortilla.

   

   Visual aid.

   Roll the tortilla into a burrito shape using your favorite tortilla rolling method. There are tons on the internet. We just picked one that basically had us fold one side over, tuck in the sides, then roll it up. Like I said, hit YouTube, somebody more competent than I can show you how to do it. 
6. Drop the bad boy into the hot oil. One at a time. Fry for about 2-3 minutes, then flip it over and do another 2-3 minutes, or until golden brown all around. Remove to a plate lined with paper towels. Repeat process 3 more times!

   

   Glorious

7. Serve chimichanga on it's own, or top with the reserved sauce and shredded cheese.

   

   OH MAIS, OUIS. Wait, that's French.
   
   

   

   Good times!

   
   
   

Dinner Party 2: Fantasy Nightmare Draft

     Back in December I discussed the possibility of hosting a dinner party for anyone you wanted, living or dead. I came up with four guests, since the other two seats at my table would be filled by me and my wife. Let's do something similar now, but the restriction is that you must invite people you would never consider inviting under any circumstance. The person could be insane, criminal, annoying, self-destructive or just generally odious. They must, however, have some degree of fame.

Too easy. Please make another selection

     Just consider it. Imagine having to try to host a dinner party for four people nobody would ever consider willingly inviting into their homes. Let's see who is coming to dinner.

Henry VIII

     When I consulted with the wife on a nightmare guest list, her first suggestion was Roseanne Barr. When I asked why, she said, "she's fat and loud." I informed her that so was I and she needed more than that for her reasons. Her next suggestion was Henry VIII. I have to agree this would be a challenging guest to entertain. He's going to want to have sex with your daughter/wife. He's likely to drink and eat you out of house and home. He's going to make a huge mess and is probably going to demand someone come wipe his ass after he wrecks the bathroom. Finally, he will eventually become displeased and try to have you executed. While we're on that subject, how about...

Oscar Pistorius

     Trips to the bathroom are going to have a certain level of risk.

Too soon?
Fine. How about...

Vlad the Impaler

     This guy would probably be way at the bottom of anyone's guest list. I imagine it would be fairly uncomfortable to sit at a table with a guy responsible for the death of like 80,000 people and the razing of countless towns. I can't imagine he was a sparkling conversationalist. Plus, you're never going to be able to set a table that he's going to like. Vlad had very specific ideas about dining atmosphere.

Vlad enjoying a meal at Bobby Flay Steak.

Finally...

Lucrezia Borgia

     You may say to yourself, "Why not this lady? She looks fairly nice. Good hair. Stylish outfit. Not too much makeup." Well you would be correct. Lucrezia was considered a hottie for her time. So why wouldn't you want her at the table? For one thing, the Borgias were famous for throwing fantastically huge parties. If you invite this lady to your table, you're probably going to be met with a lot of eye rolling and snide comments about how much better her dinner parties are. More importantly, she's likely to murder everyone at the table with poison. It appears that Ms. Borgia allegedly wore a ring with a compartment filled with poison. She would allegedly dump said poison in your drink when you weren't looking. It was like a roofie except you die.

Good times!