Tools of the Trade: The Mandoline Slicer

     You can't do a lot of cooking and not end up doing a lot of slicing. You can certainly get that work done with a knife, but if you're working with big numbers it can get to be pretty time consuming. That's when you bring out the mandoline.

No, but now I have a strange craving for a turkey leg.

     The mandoline is really nothing more than a crazy sharp blade attached to a board. You just run the item to be sliced across the board and presto! You're missing fingertips! Seriously. Make sure you use the little item-grabber to slide the item. Do it by hand and eventually you'll only be able to count to nine.  Like any other kitchen device, you will find mandolins at all price points. Here are three:

Progressive International Multi-Slicer $13.00 at Amazon.com

     The Progressive Multi-Slicer is pretty much what I have in my kitchen. It's super-inexpensive but extremely well made and reliable. It has a couple different decks for slicing and julienne cutting. If you want a solid, low-price mandoline, this is it.

OXO Softworks Mandoline $39.99 at Target.com

     It would seem that if there is a basic kitchen gadget in existence, OXO makes a version of it with comfortable grips. It's just what they do. For the extra money, you get four blade and a height adjuster to set thickness of slices. Is it worth the extra money? Probably, if you really can't live without those features. OXO does everything fairly well. DID YOU HEAR THAT OXO? Make with the sponsorship.

BergHOFF Mandoline Slicer $149.99 at Walmart.com

     At the high end, we have this beast from BergHOFF. So what do you get for ten times the cost of my mandoline?  You get surgical steel. You get seven interchangeable blades. It sliced, it dices it crinkle cuts, it performs cesarean sections. Everything is possible with this little beauty. It is, however, ridiculously expensive. Would I love one? Yes? Would I buy one myself? No.

    There you have it. You could survive without a kitchen mandoline, but there is no doubt they make like in the kitchen considerably easier. 

Good times!

Tools of the Trade: Slow Cookers

     I can't imagine any MCK that doesn't have a slow cooker of some description stashed away somewhere. The slow cooker strikes me a definitive middle-class kitchen appliance. I simply can't imagine walking into some fabulous opulent home, strolling into their commercial-grade kitchen, and seeing a crusty old Crock-Pot bubbling away on a gleaming marble counter. Think I'm joking? OK, let's take a run-of-the-mill obscenely wealthy person. How about Mitt Romney? Let's take a look at the kitchen in Mr. Romney's beach home in California.  Your challenge is to find a slow-cooker:
 

Hint: There isn't one

 
     I keep two slow-cookers on hand for my cooking needs.  I have a five quart dented monstrosity for big jobs, and an absolutely awesome slow cooker with three individually controlled 1.5 quart pots.  Why are they such an invaluable part of my MCK? For one, they're easy to use. For most recipes you just chuck everything in there, set it to low, and go drink booze and smoke cigars (or something more productive) for 5-8 hours.  The other big sell for the slow cooker is that you can put absolutely abysmal cuts of meat in there and render them fit to eat.  Got a roast of questionable quality? Throw it in with some potatoes, carrots, onion, some beer and *POOF!* You have yourself a meal. Several, actually.

     That's the magic of the slow cooker. If you are using a five quart unit, you're going to want to fill it. My three station cooker ends up providing food for a week. One pot gets a soup or appetizer, one gets the main course, the third gets a dessert. Those will become lunches and dinners for the week. This helps keep the food costs down during the week.

     Cost is the big sell here. The meats and veggies that go into slow cookers generally have to be of the sturdy variety. Carrots, potatoes, onions, cabbage, etc. These are wonderfully inexpensive veggies. Meat is also a value. Throw the dark meat chicken in there. Get the roasts with a suspicious amount of words in their names. You know what I'm talking about: "Beef chuck shoulder eye of round loin face." It's still always a good idea to avoid the packages labelled "Miscellaneous By Weight."

     If you don't already have a slow cooker, I can recommend two.

Crock-Pot SCR-500SS

     This is the basic manual slow cooker. Just set the dial to "warm" "high" or "low". That's it. You can get these at most stores for under thirty bucks. If you want to entertain or cook for the week I suggest the following:

Bella Cucina 13490

     This bad boy has three independently controlled 1.5 quart slow cookers. Basically three smaller slow cookers on a single chassis. People are endlessly amused by this when I use it at my parties. If you're willing to shop around, you can find these for under forty bucks.
 
     If you need recipes, there's a ton of slow-cooker specific books out there. There's also a lot of solid recipes floating around on recipe sites on the net.  Just Google it.

Tools of the trade: Knives

     No kitchen is complete without some good knives. However, good knives cost good money. Unless you  were smart enough to put a nice set on your wedding registry or get them as a gift, you can expect to drop some fairly notable coin.

     If you truly want to make a statement with your cash, most people would agree that Japanese knives are the way to go. Seeing as the Japanese have been making quality cutlery for the last 500-750 years, you figure they have the whole knife making process down.

 

I hear you have an onion problem.

   There is no doubt that Misono and Masamoto are incredible tools. However, they can cost up and over $1,500 for a single knife. Granted, you could work in the kitchen all week and still use the thing to decapitate a cow, but that's just showing off.  So what do I use in my middle class kitchen? What's my go-to knife?

   

     

      The Yoshi Blade.  Yes, the one from the TV. I don't care what the Amazon reviews say, this is one of the best knives in my kitchen. For $20 you get a ceramic knife that is irresponsibly sharp. You also get a peeler that can probably be used for shaving.  I've had it for almost two years and it is still crazy sharp.  For most veggies and meats, this knife has no peer in my kitchen. Granted, my other knives are Shappu 2000's and Ginsu, so I'm not setting the bar terribly high. 

    Is the knife perfect? Far from it. Since it's ceramic, you can't use it on glass or marble surfaces. Wood, bamboo or plastic only. You can't put it in the dishwasher. You can't chop with it (or at least you're not supposed to. I chop with it regularly with no issues). You can't cut frozen foods. You can't cut bone. You can not pry or twist with this knife.  Any of these things will chip or break the blade. You certainly don't want to drop one of these. If it hits the floor there's a good chance it will break. Or stick in your foot. 

     What it WILL do is cut the hell out of most fruits, vegetables and meats. It will cleanly dice onions and butterfly a chicken breast. 

     I don't have an unlimited amount of cash. I could certainly drop the cash and buy a high-quality knife that will probably last me a lifetime. However, I'd just as soon buy a $20 TV special that works well enough for my needs and spend the difference on food.

Welcome to the Middle Class Kitchen

     I notice that there's a proliferation of food blogs on the internet. I also notice that the economy is tanking and that things do not appear to be getting better any time soon. Food and the economy are linked like sausages. That's where the problem lies for the average middle class kitchen. I see wonderful recipes in magazines, television shows and on the internet. Unfortunately, many of these recipes use ingredients I can't pronounce, let alone afford. I'd love to use Gruyere in my cooking, but not when a pound of it is almost 30% of what we spend in a month for groceries.

Delicious and $20 a pound.

     I love to cook. I love to present large, fancy meals for my family and friends. It pleases me to no end to have that moment at the table where everybody stops talking because they are too focused on the food. I want to do this thing that I love and not go broke doing it. Will I eventually do a recipe that's pricey? Yes, it can't be helped. Unless it's absolutely required, I will do what I can to keep costs down.

     So what's my goal here? I want to talk about food and drink for the Middle Class. You may ask, "what is the Middle Class Kitchen?" Statistically, it's a kitchen in a house with an average income of around $30K per wage earner. There's two of us in my house, so that's easy math. I'll touch on more specifics later on.

There will be no molecular gastronomy or degustation menus in our home. If I can't get the ingredients at a local market or at a reasonable price, I'm going to start substituting. I don't need to break the bank to cook well.

   I simply want more people to sit at a table where the primary sounds are those of clinking silverware and happy diners.

“Oh, do you like it? I'm not partial to desserts myself, but this is excellent.”